by Black, C. E.
Jordan bared his teeth at me and growled. I ignored the display of dominance, which only pissed him off more. I shrugged, tired of his attitude.
"Well, you go ahead. I'm staying in the car," he snapped.
"Fine."
"And I am not helping you take care of her.” He pointed a finger at me. “You are all on your own with that," he grumbled while crossing his arms in defiance.
God he was like a petulant child. I decided not to acknowledge it.
"Fine," I said again, getting out of the car and shaking my head in frustration.
I unlocked the door of the small brick home that Liz and Sam shared. My first impression was that it was really nice. The place was clean and fully furnished. The walls were painted a fresh blue dotted with a few pictures of landscapes. Dark hardwood flooring made the space seem even bigger than it actually was and I liked it with the cream and brown furniture.
I had walked into the living room first, which flowed into a nice size kitchen. Two doors were on the left and two on the right that I assumed were bedrooms and a bathroom.
Liz had not told me which one was Sam's, so I started with the first one on the left. I pushed the door open and froze at the sight of a crib.
My first thought was that the room was absolutely beautiful. The colors were so soft and feminine it astounded me.
Taking a deep breath, I could smell the faintest hint of baby powder. The room already smelled like a baby. I could imagine Sam working in this room, trying to make it perfect for our baby girl. A girl, I thought with wonder.
I walked over to the rocking chair by the window. Instantly, I envisioned Sam rocking the baby, maybe singing softly as she gazed out at the park across the street. Then she would gently stand to place the little girl in the crib, rubbing her back as she slept.
All of those things she would have done without me. My chest constricted and my eyes stung at the thought of never knowing about the little girl Sam was carrying. The room was certainly gorgeous, but I needed both of them with me. I would just have to convince Sam that we could design the same room after we moved.
We would definitely be moving, I decided. As I thought about it, I should have realized there was not enough room in mine and Jordan’s two-bedroom apartment for a baby. A house would be without a doubt, the best way to go.
~ 10 ~
Jordan
Staying behind, sitting in the damn car, proved how stubborn I could be. I wanted to see the inside of that house so badly, it was killing me to just sit and wait. To see the place Sam had been living for the past five months without us, would be the kind of torture I deserved.
I wanted to know if she had been living well. I hoped like hell she hadn't been struggling. I had to assume she was doing all right since she was living with Liz.
The outside looked nice. It was a one-story brick ranch with a small porch on the front. The yard was simple, but well taken care of and I noticed the neighborhood looked good. I even saw a park across the street.
Shaking my head, I glared out the window, ignoring the pleasant landscaping. My mind was running a million miles a minute. Too many questions, not enough answers. Sam would be living with us for a whole month. How was I going to avoid her for that long?
If I couldn’t avoid her, what would she say to me? Will she yell, scream? Or maybe she wouldn't speak to me at all. Would she stare at me with cold, dead eyes? I shivered, hopefully not the eyes.
"What am I going to do?" I asked aloud. No answer came, of course. My head dropped into my waiting hands. Having Sam around would be a disaster. Just thinking about it made my heart pound and my palms sweat.
I was sure she hated me and I could not blame her. I was a royal asshole. Truthfully, I always had been. Alex was the only person who had ever claimed to see through the 'cruel facade', as he liked to call it.
What Alex could not seemed to understand was that I was cruel and an asshole. I did not deserve someone like Sam. I knew I'd only hurt her in the long run. Hell, I already did. I was just like my father, a mean, heartless bastard. She was much better off without me.
I looked up at the building and sighed, wondering what was taking Alex so long. How much time did it take to grab a few clothes? Knowing Alex, he was taking his sweet time just to irritate the shit out of me.
Speak of the devil. Alex was coming out the door, carrying three suitcases, two large and one small. It looked a bit awkward, but I knew he could handle it.
"Damn," I muttered as Alex set down the bags and went back in for a large box. I climbed out of the car and ambled over to help and complain.
"What in the hell? How much stuff could the woman need in one month?" I asked. Alex ignored the question and handed me the box.
As I placed the box in the back of the Land Rover, I watched Alex suspiciously. He was very quiet and he seemed to look everywhere, but at me. I took a quick peek into the box I had carried. Inside were about fifteen pairs of shoes and they all smelled like Sam.
Ignoring the way the sweet scent engulfed me I asked, "Why would she need so many pairs of shoes when she can't even walk?"
Alex stayed quiet, pretending to get the suitcases situated just so. Something was definitely up.
"And if she could walk, that is a lot of shoes for only a month," I continued.
Alex gave me a quick glance that had guilty written all over it.
"It is only one month, right?" I asked a silent Alex. "Right man?" I was starting to panic a little. Why wouldn't he answer me? "Sam's only staying with us for ONE month, right?"
He took a deep breath and finally looked directly at me. "Maybe."
What? That was all he had to say?
"What does that mean?" I growled.
"It means what it means. Listen, I didn't want to have to go into it right now, but I should warn you. I am going to pursue Sam again. This time, for keeps."
I stared shocked as Alex closed the door. My vision blurred a little as I watch him stroll out of my line of sight. I felt as if my heart had stopped.
I knew what he was trying to say. Alex was in love with Sam. They would get married, have babies and live happily ever after...without me.
I could feel my wall building back up and I knew my face showed no more emotion. I'd had years of practicing the stony facade. Since Sam left, I had felt it slowly crumble, but now I had to buck up. If not, I would never survive seeing the two of them together.
~ 11 ~
Sam
"Are you ready to go home Ms. Adams?"
Oh, was I ever! Lying in a hospital bed for several days was not my idea of fun. I couldn't complain too much. I was still alive and so was my baby. It was a miracle and I planned to appreciate that miracle every day for the rest of my life. Now it was time to get home so I could start living it.
I looked up at the nurse as she spoke. The sweet older lady was somewhere in her mid fifties with a pixie hair cut. It looked stylish with her silver hair. My smile brightened at the sight of the familiar woman. She had been one my favorite nurses on duty during my visit.
"Susan, I am so ready to get home, and please, stop calling me Ms. Adams, will you? My name is Samantha, but everyone calls me Sam."
Susan chuckled, her cheeks glowing with her smile. "I know, I know," she said shaking her head. "Alright, Sam, let me go finish this paperwork and I will be right back to wheel you out. You have someone to take you home, sweetie? Like maybe that friend of yours?"
I nodded, thinking that Liz was probably on her way. I was about to tell the friendly nurse just that when a deep voice I thought I would never hear again rumbled from the doorway.
"She has someone to take her home."
My smile dropped as my head whipped around in surprise.
There he stood, casually leaning against the doorframe. He looked at ease and his voice sounded confident, but his smile was shy and hesitant as his eyes searched mine.
My mouth felt dry all of sudden and I was having a hard time swallowing. With shaky hands, I
reached for my cup of ice water by the bed and took a long pull of the cool liquid.
When I finished, I continued to watch Alex warily, wondering why he was there. How had he known I was even in the hospital?
Alex slowly walked towards me, raking his eyes thoroughly over my blanket-covered body. I blushed at the obvious approval I saw in his dark eyes. No one had looked at me like that in a long time.
Then I realized what he would see and I paled. I looked down at my extended belly. I was sitting up slightly in the bed and decided it wouldn't be too hard to hide with the extra blankets. I began bunching the bedding by pushing it down from my chest towards my lap.
When I was done, I looked up and found Alex a lot closer than he had been. He was right beside me looking down with a knowing smirk on his face. I had not hidden a thing from him.
At first I blushed, embarrassed, but then I was just confused. I gazed more closely at his rugged face, looking for signs of anger. I was shocked not to find any. His eyes held a wealth of emotions, from amusement to pain, but no irritation, no resentment for being deceived.
I watched fascinated, as he slowly reached out with one arm. Pausing, his hand shook slightly as it hovered over my abdomen. I held my breath and chanced a look at his face. His gaze locked on my stomach, indecision in his eyes. My breath whooshed out of me when he swallowed hard before dropping the arm back at his side without touching me.
It was not that I didn't want Alex to touch me, far from it. I had always loved his hands on me, still craved them daily, but I could not handle the emotions that went with the contact. Seeing the look on his face was more than overwhelming.
I could see the awe over my rounded belly and I understood. Every day I looked in the mirror and felt the same, but I had to rein in the hope that was beginning to tighten my chest. Just because he was there and the baby was making him feel a little sentimental, did not mean anything else had changed.
I schooled my features, hiding my glassy eyes before he looked at my face. There was no way I would show how much the small act affected me. I loved him, he didn't love me, end of story.
If Alex or Jordan wanted to be a part of baby Ava's life, then it was their right and I would have to learn to live with it. I realized that was another reason I had kept her a secret. I knew there was a small possibility they would want to be around for the baby's sake and I was scared. It was safer, for my heart, if I stayed as far away from them as possible.
Alex cleared his throat. "As soon as the nurse comes back, we'll head home."
I looked up and around the room, noticing for the first time that Susan had left. My forehead creased as I turned back to Alex. I noticed he hadn’t said 'I'll take you home,' no he said 'we will head home.’ I stiffened.
"What do you mean?" I asked slowly.
His mouth lifted in a lopsided grin. I had to close my eyes for a moment before I embarrassed myself by grabbing his face and kissing that grin senseless. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart before glancing back at him.
The grin was actually bigger and more knowing. I could feel my cheeks heat, but I ignored it and him by looking slightly behind him at the wall instead of directly at his handsome face.
"Caught that did you?" He chuckled. "You will be staying with me for a while."
That had my head snapping back in his direction. "What? No, no, that is not happening."
I shook my head. No, he was delusional if he thought I was going to stay with him in his apartment.
No, he was crazy to think I would spend twenty-four hours a day for however long with him. It would be pure Hell. Then I thought about really seeing Alex all day and night. More like Heaven. No, Hell. I couldn't handle that. It was too confusing.
I was still shaking my head when Liz walked in. "I'm sorry Sam, but I had to call him. You need someone to take care of you."
My teeth ground together and my eyes narrowed on my supposed best friend. "I can take care of myself."
Liz's eyes were kind, her words were soft, but I was not fazed. "Normally I would say that is completely true, but honey, right now there are some things you are going to need help with. Your parents aren't coming and I'm leaving tomorrow morning."
"Doesn't matter," I said, my chin lifting defiantly. "I am not staying with him. I will be fine."
Liz watched me quietly and I noticed Alex had not interrupted once. He stood silently by the bed, his arms crossed as he calmly took in the situation. He didn't seem upset by my insistence to not stay with him.
"Alright," Liz said, taking a deep breath and releasing it noisily.
She rubbed the spot in the center of her forehead. I knew that meant she was stressed and I had a moment of guilt for being the cause.
"Alright," She said again, her shoulders slumping slightly. "I'll cancel my trip."
I leaned forward suddenly, which was a bad idea. Wincing at some of my body aches, I laid back against my pillow. Alex had moved closer ready to help, but stepped back when it was obvious I was fine. I was pleased to see he cared, but ignored him nonetheless.
"Liz, you can't do that. What about your job? Get on that plane," I demanded.
Liz shrugged as if it was no big deal, but her fingers were twisting restlessly in front of her. "I'll talk to Mr. Wolford again. I might be able to save my job. It’s possible that I could be demoted, but as long as I have work, we'll be okay."
I shook my head, "No, this isn't just about a job. You have wanted to travel for as long as I have known you, which is forever," I smiled. "It's your dream, go."
Shoulders straightening, Liz dropped her wringing hands and glared at me with hard blue eyes. "That's the deal, Sam. You go with Alex, let him take care of you, or I will refuse to get on that plane."
I swallowed hard. There was no changing Liz's mind. She was as straight forward as they came and would not have issued the threat lightly.
I glanced up at Alex. I was surprised to see he had backed up against the far wall. I hadn't seen or heard him move. I shook my head. My mind must have been too occupied with Liz to pay any attention.
His gaze fixed on the bed; his expression was one of deep thought. He looked like his mind was far away, but I knew he was listening to every word. There was a watchfulness about him, like he was taking in everything, even as he tried hard to look uninterested.
Then something Liz said registered. She had said Alex would take care of me, but where was Jordan? I thought I had seen him the day before, standing over me, but later when I woke, I dismissed it as just a dream. When Alex walked in, I changed my mind and thought maybe it was not a dream, but where was he?
My heart squeezed painfully. Jordan was not here, because he did not want to be and he probably didn't want to take care of me either.
This time I saw him move. I looked up as Alex pushed off the wall as if to come closer. His knowing brown eyes set on my face. Could he tell what I was thinking? Could he read me that well?
Trying to pay him no attention, I turned back to Liz. It was obvious what I had to do and she knew it. Luckily for her there was no smug smile on her face, only determination.
"That is so unfair Liz." I sighed, "Alright, I'll go with Alex," I said, my voice sounding resigned.
Liz nodded as if she already knew my answer. I was sure she did. My gaze found Alex's and my eyes widened. His expression was not full of arrogance, as I had assumed. His eyes were bright with happiness and relief. I caught the glimpse only for a moment before he turned away.
I didn't understand. Why would he be happy to babysit me? He and Jordan had been clear, letting me know how little I meant to them. Did they feel sorry for me? I stiffened at the thought.
Alex jerked his head in my direction his eyes narrowed. I looked away. I was not sure why he turned to me so quickly and I had too many other things on my mind to care.
I had no choice than to stay with Alex and let him help me. I had to harden my heart. I had done pretty well so far. Although it was much easier when I didn�
��t have to see either of the men I loved on a daily bases. Being in the same space, alone, with at least one of them was going to be difficult.
Liz and Alex left to check on the nurse and get a wheelchair. I took a deep breath and reassured myself that everything would be okay. I could spend a month with Alex and keep my heart safe.
The baby kicked and I placed my uninjured hand on my tummy and gently rubbed the small ache. I had all I needed, I reminded myself. I wished I could believe it.
~ 12 ~
Sam
Alex had turned down the sheets and laid me on the bed. He slid my shoes off and I sighed in relief causing Alex to look at me, his head tilted to the side in question.
"Swollen feet," I murmured.
He glanced down at my belly once then looked away and I frowned. It seemed he was going to avoid all baby talk.
He had carried me into a bedroom that looked as sparse as the rest of the apartment. White walls, a bed, dresser and nightstand were it for furniture. The bedding was nice. A dark blue quilt with beige circles lay atop dark brown sheets and a lamp stood on the nightstand. The furniture was a matching set made of a good wood. White oak, I thought. Oh, and you could not miss the big flat screen T.V. mounted on the wall directly across from the bed.
Alex put his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. "Are you comfortable in what you're wearing or do you what to change? Are you cold? I could pull the covers up or turn on the heat."
"No, I'm good."
My comfortable sweats and long sleeved t-shirt I put on at the hospital were the perfect choice for lying around, thank God. Alex would have had to help me change and I was not quite ready for that.
"Okay. Well, I'm going to go get started on dinner, so you want me to get you anything?"
Alex sure was anxious to get away from me it seemed. He was a walking contradiction, one minute insisting I come to stay with him and the next wanting to get away from me. I gave myself a mental eye roll. It's good that he wants to get away, remember? The farther away the better, right?