Finding Peace (Finding Series Book 1)

by Love, K. J.

  “Shh, baby, it’s okay. Seven days, okay? Just seven days, baby. We can do this.”

  I swallow hard and nod my head yes, when all I want to do is say no, over and over. He kisses me again and sets me on my feet. He walks with me hand and hand back to Tessa’s car. He opens the door and waits for me to take a seat. He then squats down beside the car.

  “Remember, just seven days and I’ll be there with you. Okay?”

  I look into his eyes as tears run down my cheeks. He leans in, I close my eyes and take in a deep breath, then I feel his lips gently kiss each eye. Feeling him lean away from me, I open my eyes to his hazel eyes looking deeply into mine. He says I’ve left and imprint on his heart, I can relate, because he has left one on my soul. I nod my head again.

  “Seven, days. I can do this.”

  “I know you can, baby.”

  He kisses my forehead and stands. He closes my door and I stare at him through the window, as Tessa starts the car and we again, leave him standing in the parking lot. Please, don’t let this end like it did the last time I left him.

  We arrive at Tessa’s moms and I can feel myself sinking again. It’s inevitable, if I don’t do something different, I’m going to sink back into that depression, which I obviously never left I just got a temporary high from being with Blake. I need to see a therapist and work on me. I can’t be good with anyone else until I’m okay with me, right?

  We walk inside and go straight to Tessa’s room. It already seems like it’s been hours since I left Blake, even though, it’s only been about an hour. I curl up in bed not even bothering to remove my make-up before falling to sleep. Tessa hasn’t said anything, knowing that I need time to myself. Working through this on my own was exactly what I needed to do right now. Tomorrow, we'll get up and be back home in a couple hours. Then, I'll have to face everything I've been hiding from. And I will do it because I'm going to pull myself together and get better for me, for Blake, for us.

  Morning is here before I know it and I’m putting my bags into Tessa’s car while she says goodbye to her mom. I hear the roar of an engine and it makes me smile. That’s not an engine that you would normally hear in a neighborhood like this. It has to be him but it’s only six in the morning. What in the world is he doing up so early? And then it dawns on me. He’s here to see you crazy.

  I smile more as the sound gets louder. I close my eyes, feeling the rumble in my chest as his truck pulls into the driveway. I place my bags in the trunk and slowly turn around. He is getting out of the truck and he has a small gift bag in his hand. He smiles from ear to ear when he sees me.

  “Good morning, good looking. That’s a beautiful sight to see this early. A handsome man, bearing gifts.”

  He looks down at the bag and then back up at me.

  “Who says this is for you? I thought I’d bring Tessa a goodbye gift.”

  He bites his lip, trying not to laugh.

  Turning around, I start to walk toward the house. “I’ll go get her for you then.”

  He runs up behind me and grabs me around the waist.

  “Don’t you dare walk away from me.”

  “Well, if I don’t go get Tessa, how are you going to give her your gift?”

  He swats my butt, I laugh and turn around to face him.

  “You always have a smart comment, don’t you? This is for you gorgeous.”

  He holds the bag out to me. I put both hands up to my chest and act shocked. “For, me? Not, Tessa?”

  He rolls his eyes.

  “Take it. It’s not much, but after what you said last night I thought you’d like it.”

  Taking the bag from him, I carefully peek inside. The smile on my face is so big that my cheeks ache. Closing my eyes, I bring the bag up to my face and inhale deeply. When I open my eyes and look at him, I notice that he looks nervous. Cocking my head to the side, I continue to stare at him.

  “Say something. Do you like it?”

  I walk up and stretch up on my tiptoes to kiss him. He wraps me up in his arms and rocks us back and forth. He bends down and kisses my neck. Sweet nirvana. I’m on cloud nine right now. I whisper into his ear.

  “I don’t just like it, I love it.”

  “Really? You don’t think it’s stupid?”

  I lean back to look at him. “No, it’s perfect. I’ll sleep in it every night.”

  He smiles and winks at me. “I love that idea.”

  I lightly push him away. “Be good.”

  “I’m always good, baby. I keep telling you this. You just never learn.”

  Mr. Full of Himself, is back again. I reach into the bag and pull out his softball jersey and hold it up to my nose. He’s sprayed his cologne on it and I’m filled with the scent of him. This will help me stay connected to him when I’m not with him.

  “This will help me a lot, Blake. I’m so glad you brought it to me.”

  He steps to me and places his hands on my hips and looks deep into my eyes.

  “I wanted you to have something from me to take with you. Plus, it gave me an excuse to come and see you this morning.”

  “It’s really early for you to be up when you don’t have to work today.”

  He smirks and looks over my shoulder. I turn my head and look back at the house, Tessa is walking out the front door. I turn and look back to Blake.

  “I am working. It’s just for myself today; I’m working on our house.”

  “Oh, the house. I thought you said you just have plans right now.”

  “It is just plans, but there’s still some stuff I need to do on the land before I can even start to build.”

  Tessa walks up to us. “What are you building?” She asks.

  Blake looks over at her and then back at me. I guess he figured I would have told her. He looks a little hurt.

  “I’m building a house. Our house.”

  “Really? Wow! That’s great!”

  Tessa seems to be overreacting a little. She can’t be that excited. Maybe she is upset because I hadn’t mentioned it, but we haven’t talked about stuff in length in a very long time.

  “He said something about it before, but he confirmed it last night, that he is building himself a house near here.”

  “Our house.” He corrects.

  I roll my eyes and look at Tessa. I smile at her and she smirks back at me. She walks over and as she passes me she whispers.

  “I told you.”

  I laugh under my breath. “We have to go. I’m going to go to bed with this every night.” I say, clutching the shirt to my chest.

  “It’s not really fair that I don’t have anything of yours.”

  I have a thought. “Hold on.” I go over and dig in my bag that I threw into the trunk and get out my binder. I have my senior pictures in there. I pick one out and walk back to him. “Here. Now you can see me whenever you want.” He looks down at the picture and then looks at me.

  “You really are beautiful.”

  I feel my cheeks heat up. He lifts my chin up with his finger so that I’m looking into his eyes.

  “Thank you. I’ll keep it in my truck on the dash, near my speedometer.” He says giving me a kiss again.

  “You’re welcome.”

  Blake walks over and closes Tessa’s trunk. He then takes my hand and walks me to the passenger side just like last night. But this time he pushes my back up against the car and stands in front of me. He steps closer, closing the distance between us. He brings his hands up to grip each side of my face and devours me with an earth shattering kiss. I’m breathless when he steps back.

  “Wow! I felt that all the way over here.” Tessa, says from the other side of the car.

  I laugh and put my finger up to my lips. The tingling is not only in my lips, but has traveled all the way to my toes.

  “Six, days. Six days, now.”

  Shaking my head yes, I smile at him as he walks backward to his truck. “Six days. I’ll see you in six days.”

  I blow him a kiss as he gets in his truck.
I feel that familiar rumble in my chest that his engine causes. He’s looking down at his dash doing something, he then holds up my picture so I can see it and then he reaches back down.

  He’s putting my picture exactly where he said he would. That small gesture makes my heart swell for him. He’s such a romantic. All those people who said he was a player has never met this Blake, he is anything but a player. He’s romantic, loving, caring. I love him so much it hurts. Blake looks back up at me and smiles a big smile before he slowly backs out of the driveway.

  Chapter 24

  Kayla

  Even though it hurts to be leaving him again, my heart is full of love for the first time in a very long time. Knowing that I will see him in six days makes leaving a little easier. And just the thought of my picture being in his truck with him and even more him wanting it there, makes me even happier. I pull the shirt back out and hold it to my face. Oh, that smells so good.

  “You’re going to use all the smell out of that shirt before we even make it home.” Tessa says with a laugh.

  Oh, I hadn't even thought of that? Crap, I hope it holds its smell until he comes to see me. Maybe I should ask him what cologne it is that way I can buy a bottle. Yeah, I've got it bad.

  “It just smells so good. I want to commit it to memory, because it would be a little crazy to carry it around with me all day, right?” I ask her as if hoping she will say it is perfectly normal, to want to carry his shirt around with me.

  “Yeah, I think that might be a little much.”

  She pulls out onto the road and we head home. We are turning onto the interstate before I even realize we are out of the neighborhoods. Tessa turns the music down, then glances at me.

  “A house, huh?”

  Here it comes, the twenty questions. I miss our conversations and I love her, but I’m not sure how to answer what’s coming.

  “He said, it was time to move out on his own. It’s probably going to take him a while to finish it. He just has the blueprints right now; he’s doing something with the land today. I’m not sure what; just something he said had to be done first.” Hopefully, that will appease her, for the time being.

  “That’s not what I’m asking and you know it.” She laughs a little.

  “Come on, Kayla. Give me all the details.”

  No such luck, of course. I’m going to have to give her more. More of what? I don’t know, because I don’t have the answers myself. It’s going to be a long two hour drive.

  “Blake says, he is building it for us. That he knows we are meant to be together. I’m not completely convinced that, that is true. I’ve not said I would, but he has asked me to move in with him after I graduate. The house won’t be done, however, he assures me he will have somewhere for us to stay. He says he wants to take care of me and give me everything that I deserve, that he wants to make me happy.” There, I said it and saying it out loud to someone else, makes it that much more real. Can he actually mean all that?

  “Wow, that’s a lot really fast.”

  She looks over at me and I scrunch my brows at her, tilting my head to the side to ask her to continue. I wonder if she is thinking the same thing that I am. It's way too soon. And moving in with him would be insane.

  “Don’t look at me like that. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I think Blake is great. He’s a little too cocky for my taste, but he’s really funny and he does seem to bring out the best in you. Plus, I can never thank him enough for finally being part of the reason that you told jackbutt, goodbye. I just don’t want you to rush into this too fast. Just take it slow. It’s April and you have until June to figure out what you are going to do. See how things go with him between now and then.”

  Yeah, just wait and see how things go. Don’t put the cart before the horse so to speak. “That, I can do. It’s not like I’ve told him I would move here. Really not sure what I'm going to do. Like you said I’ve got some time. Only two months, but that’s something, right?”

  But two months is nothing. I look out the window. The panic begins to set in, and then I look downward at the shirt in my hand and raise it to my face. My breathing immediately slows down. I’ll just pray about it, that’s what I’ve always been taught to do. The answer will come to me, when I need it.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Blake

  The pain in my chest, from saying goodbye, yet again, to Kayla, is almost unbearable. However, I get the feeling that she is going to be okay this time. Her coming to find me is proof that she wants this as much as I do, she is just afraid to let it happen. Hell, just thinking about her makes me smile. I’ll be counting down the hours until I get to speak to her again.

  Pulling up to my land, I can picture in my head our house, with Kayla sitting on the front porch. What in the world, has she done to me? I’m thinking and saying things that shock even me.

  My friends say I’m unrecognizable, that I’ve never been this into a girl. They’re right; I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Max, even asked me if it was because I felt bad for her because she had nowhere to live after graduation? He stated, that maybe I felt like I could save her. But it had nothing to do with me loving her.

  Turning off my truck, I sit and think about what Max said to me. I now know that I have never been in love, not like this. My thoughts are consumed with Kayla. Every waking minute, she enters my mind, even invades my dreams. When I think about my future, it’s her I see, she’s the one I want to share all my dreams and my life with.

  While, drawing out the blueprints for our home, every decision I made, I tried to take into consideration what she might want. Not knowing her very well, made that difficult, so I turned to my mother for help. She went over the plans with me. We discussed what made taking care of a home easier from a woman’s point of view, offering some ideas I had never even thought of. I’ve worked with every aspect of building a home from the blueprints to the finished product. The homes we build are extravagant, that’s something my budget won’t allow right now. However, we can add as the years go by. The final blueprints of what we came up with excites me. It also makes me anxious to show it all to Kayla.

  My mother also gave me some great advice about Kayla, too. She advised me not to push her, to give her the space that she needed. Smiling to myself, it was because of that space that she came to see me. Thank you, Mom. I hope I can talk Kayla into coming to spend the weekend with me, so that I can introduce her to my family.

  Sitting here, I look out over the land that’s covered in trees right now. It will have to be cleared before we can even begin to build. We are going to need a well and a septic tank. This is too far out in the country for city water and sewer. It’s far enough from town that we won’t be bothered with the noise and commotion that comes with city life. Although, it’s still close enough for us to do our shopping. The perfect location in my opinion.

  Climbing from the truck, I grab my stakes and orange tape out of the back. The surveyor has already been here and staked off the property line. Today, I’ll be measuring off the square footage and doing a rough-stake of the house. This will allow me to visualize where the house will sit. It will also help me decide which trees will be in the way.

  Next, I am going to mark each tree that will need to be removed. Once, I have this done, I’ll have someone come in to cut the trees down. Fortunately, I’ve found some guys that are willing to do that just for the lumber. I’m truly stoked about this, because that will save us a great deal.

  I’ve already determined where the house should sit. Thinking about it for days on end, considering the sunset, and sunrise, views from the front and the back. It’s going to be in the perfect location. My heart fills with joy as I think about the look that will be on Kayla’s face when I show it to her. I know she will love it too.

  It’s getting dark by the time I’m finished. I’m tired and all I want to do is shower and go to bed. Right after I call Kayla to make sure she made it home alright, of course. Gathering up my stuff, I throw it i
nto the back of my truck before climbing into the driver's seat and head home.

  When I walk through the back door, I hear Mom call out to me.

  “Blake? Is that you?”

  I shut the door and take off my work boots to leave them there to avoid tracking mud through the house.

  “Yeah, Mom. It’s me.” Who else would it be? I think to myself.

  “That little girl called for you earlier. She’s a real sweetheart.”

  She has my full attention now. I hurry through the kitchen and make my way to the living room. She and Dad are sitting in their recliners watching an old western. This is their life since they retired.

  “What did she say?” I ask immediately.

  Dad looks up at me and lowers his glasses.

  “No hello?” He asks.

  I want to say no, just answer my question, but I try to be polite.

  “Hi, Mom, Dad. Now, what did she say?”

  My mom laughs at me and my dad grumbles under his breath. My old man is rough, but I love him.

  “I told her that you were working on your land and wouldn’t be back until later. She said, okay and thank you. We chatted a little. She is very polite and sweet.” She says, smiling at me.

  “Thanks, Mom. I’m going to go take a quick shower and I will call her back.”

  My dad yells down the hallway at me.

  “You’ll be the one paying for those calls son. That long distance isn’t cheap, you know?”

  Rolling my eyes because I know he cannot see me, I respond by saying, “Of course Dad. I’ve got it covered.”

  I hear him grumbling again to Mom. Something about what’s gotten into that boy chasing after a girl like this. I laugh, gotta love my old man.

  Jumping into the shower and feeling the warm water run over my sore muscles is pure heaven. It feels good after a long day's work.

  I go back into the kitchen and grab the receiver to the phone; I put my finger on the rotary dial and dial her number. Fortunately, we have an extremely long cord on the phone so I am able to stretch it all the way down the hall and into my room for some privacy.