by Love, K. J.
Our song is playing through the outdoor speakers Troy had installed. There is a path made of candles that lead from the patio all the way down to the dock. It’s gorgeous. The closer I get to the dock the more my heart rate increases. The pounding of my heart in my chest echoes in my ears. Fear wasn’t a factor here, but more praying this is not a fantasy. Like I’m still sitting back on the chair as Tessa helps me get ready for tonight.
My body tingles with excitement to not only see what is going on, but to be near him again. With tears already begging for release, my mind is trying to process the fact that someone went to this much trouble for me, for my birthday.
The fight moves to my feet. They want to run to Blake and just throw my arms around him, never letting him go. Unconsciously, I speed up and have to slow myself. After all, he’s gone to so much trouble for me, for tonight, for us. Everything is swarming in my head, but my eyes remain focused on the man I’m head over heels in love with.
The sun is low in the sky, once again gracing us with nature’s majestic colors. It strikes me then that this is the first sunset we’ve had together. Our first sunrise last weekend and now our first sunset. The colors of the sunset are deep, potent and only added to the breathtaking view of the candles and the man before me.
Walking closer to the dock, I see him in a pair of dress slacks and emerald green dress shirt. Taking in a quick breath at the sight of him, my eyes tear up. Briefly lowering my eyes, I see purple rose petals under my feet. Smiling, I think back to the day he gave me those purple roses, love at first sight. Does he know that? Raising my eyes back to him, it’s then that I see he has a bouquet of purple roses in his hand. The candles have been spread further apart here and are now creating a huge heart around us.
“You look amazing.” He says.
“So do you.”
“These are for you.” He says, handing me the roses.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to do all of this.”
“Yes, I did. I wanted your birthday to be special.”
As the music continues to play in the background Blake looks nervous. He’s looking over my shoulder, but when I start to turn to look behind me he begins to speak.
“I knew the night I saw you that you were different, I had this overpowering urge to get to know you. When you turned down my invite to come over and talk to me, you pulled me in even more. I’d never had that happen before.”
I laugh a little. Blake just smiles at me and takes my left hand in his.
“I think about you day and night. And when I think of the future, I see you. I can’t imagine you not being there with me. I want to share every minute of my day with you. When something happens, you’re the first person I think of telling. You’re the last person I think about before I go to sleep and the first person that enters my mind when I wake up. I think of ways to make you happy just so I can see your smile and hear your laugh. I love you, Kayla, more than you could ever comprehend. My love for you is immeasurable. I know that we are young and I know that we haven’t known each other long but…”
He kneels before me and a sob leaves me, I can’t believe this is happening. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ring box. He’s really doing this. Oh God, he’s proposing to me. I swallow hard, then his eyes meet mine. He’s smiling at me, I know I must look like I’m in shock. Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I try my best to control my emotions. This amazing man is going to ask me to be his wife. How did I get such a blessing?
“Kayla, will you share your life with me, the highs, the lows, and everything in between. I want to wake up with you every day and go to bed with you every night. Will you marry me, baby?”
I think I started shaking my head yes before he was even finished. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
He slides the ring onto my finger, and picks me up, spinning me around yelling, “She said yes!”
Blake takes my mouth with his and kisses me passionately while still turning us around. I’m not sure if the dizziness I’m feeling is from the spinning or the kiss, maybe it’s the combination.
He sets me down and cradles both sides of my face. “I love you. I love you so much. Future Mrs. McGinnis.”
“I like the sound of that and I love you too.”
Blake nods his head in the direction of the house. It’s then that I see a group of people coming toward us. They knew, they all knew and didn’t tell me anything.
Tessa runs to me and hugs me tightly. “It’s so good to see you this happy. Let me see it.”
Oh my gosh! I haven’t even looked at the ring yet. I look down at the ring on my left hand, “Wow! It’s stunning. It’s too much, Blake.”
He is shaking hands with Troy, but stops talking to look up at me.
“You deserve so much more. I saw it and immediately thought of you.”
Looking down at the ring again, it’s a one carat princess cushion cut solitaire with a baguette on each side of it. I am going to be terrified to wear it. I’ve never had anything so extravagant.
“Wow! You did good, Blake.” Tessa exclaims.
Everyone hugs and congratulates us. I keep clinging to Blake in fear that this is all a dream and I’m going to wake up any minute.
Troy walks up to us and says, “The car is waiting for you, Blake.”
Blake shakes his hand again. “Thank you for all of your help and your blessing.”
He nods to Blake, then winks at me. Troy is such a good man.
“I have another surprise for you. Are you ready to go to dinner?”
“There’s more?”
He laughs. “Of course. Did you think I’d propose and that was it? You’ve agreed to be my wife, the least I can do is feed you.”
“Well, since you put it like that, I want steak.”
Everyone laughs at me. “What I’ve not eaten all day wondering what was going to happen tonight. I want all of you to know that I forgive you for not telling me what Blake had planned.”
“Come on. I’m taking you to eat.”
We walk hand and hand back to the house going straight to the driveway where a limo is waiting on us.
“Blake,” I breathe, a new batch of tears burning my eyes. “You’ve done too much. We don’t have to take a limo.” My eyes meet his and I’m struggling to keep the emotion under control.
“Kayla, let me pamper you. Let me show you how precious you are to me. We just got engaged, we should celebrate that.”
“Blake, I have to ask. The purple roses, do you know what the purple rose symbolizes?”
He answers me like it’s no big deal. “Of course, I do.”
The driver opens the door for us. That’s it? He’s not going to tell me. I turn and look at him, tilt my head, and raise my eyebrows.
He laughs. “Yes, baby. I know. I just didn’t know if you knew, but it’s obvious that you do.”
If he doesn’t say it in a minute I’m going to scream at him.
“I thought you wanted to get some steak.”
“I do, but tell me what the purple rose represents first.”
His smile is huge as he says, “Love at first sight.”
I can’t believe he knew. “But you gave them to me the first weekend we met.”
“I told you, I’ve known for a long time. I told you from the beginning that we were meant to be. I just had to wait for you to get on the same page as me.”
Looking at him, I’m stunned speechless. He leans down and kisses me on the cheek. I turn and slide into the limo and Blake gets in after me. He pulls me onto his lap and we kiss for the second time since he proposed. My body ignites immediately. It’s becoming perfectly clear that I’m losing control of my urges and I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out. Blake must have some unbelievable willpower. This man is going to be mine forever and I now have the ring to prove it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We’re sitting in a restaurant just finishing an amazing steak dinner. The waiter has just cleared our plates and asked us if we’d like some dessert
. Blake looks at me raising his eyebrows in question. Do I want dessert? Of course I do.
Blake must see the look flash across my face because without looking back at the waiter, he says, “It looks like we will be ordering dessert.”
He smiles at me and my heart melts. It’s all so unbelievable. I’m engaged to this gorgeous man that takes my breath, makes me smile, and gets me like no one ever has.
“What do you want, baby?”
“Something chocolate.” I say.
“Of course, chocolate.” He turns up one corner of his mouth and I want to jump across the table and devour him.
“Can you please bring us two different chocolate desserts? Any two, it doesn’t matter.”
I know what he’s doing. Can he be any more perfect?
“Yes, sir.” The waiter says as he leaves.
“Two different desserts?” I ask.
“Sure. That way we will hopefully like one and we can share.” He says with a wink.
“You are just perfect. You know that?”
“No. I’m far from perfect. I’m territorial, hard headed, and hot tempered. You just haven’t been around to witness that yet.” He says with a chuckle.
“Well, I think you’re perfect. And I hate to break it to you, even when I do see those sides, I will still love you. Nothing will change that.”
“I’m counting on it. Here’s your other present.”
I begin to shake my head. “No. You’ve given me enough.”
“Kayla, take the box. I can’t return it. So you might as well take it.”
Looking at him with a puzzled look, I wonder why he can’t return it and just get his money back. I’m beginning to feel as if I keep taking in this relationship and giving nothing in return. Reaching for the small box, the huge smile that graces his face just then, has to be better than any gift he could give me.
Carefully untying the pink ribbon that is tied around the box, I lay it on the table. Slowly, I lift the lid off and inside is a black velvet jewelry box. Taking it out, I pull the lid open. There in the box is a sterling silver heart necklace on it is engraved, ‘Within my heart there’s only you.’ I feel the tears start to slowly roll down my cheeks. I look up into his eyes.
He looks concerned as he asks, “Do you like it?”
I smile as my heart opens even more to this man. How can I possibly love him even more? I never knew a love could be this way.
“I absolutely love it.”
“Turn it over.”
Wiping the tears from my eyes, I take the heart in my hand and turn it over and I see yet another inscription. It’s a date. ‘March 24, 1989’. I put my hand up to my mouth. It’s perfect like everything he does.
“March twenty fourth, nineteen eighty nine. The day my life changed forever and the day you filled my heart.”
“I don’t know what to say, Blake. Will you help me put it on?”
Without saying a word, he gets up and walks over to my chair, I lift my hair and hand him the necklace. He places it around my neck, then leans down and kisses my shoulder. I reach up and grab his hand and kiss it.
“Thank you for loving me and for all that you have given me.”
He takes my hands and lifts me from my chair to wrap me in his arms.
“No. Thank you.” He whispers.
We eat our dessert. Me feeding him bites of my chocolate cheesecake and him feeding me bites of his chocolate soufflé. I’m glad he thought to get two different desserts. He always has the best ideas.
Blake and I make our way out and magically the limo is waiting to pick us up. Things get very heated on the way home, but this time Blake put the brakes on things. We sit on the dock until the early morning hours. I feel bad because Blake has such a long ride home, but he never complains about it. He says he sleeps the day away after he makes it home, so that he will be ready for work on Monday morning.
The next morning I awake as Blake sits on the edge of my bed.
“I have to leave, baby.” He says as he pushes my hair out of my eyes.
He then reaches and straightens my necklace that he gave me last night.
“I don’t want you to go.”
“I know and I don’t want to go, but I have to work. We’ll never get our house ready if I don’t.”
Shaking my head yes, but feeling my heart break like it does every time he has to leave. If we could talk every day it wouldn’t be so hard. I long for the day that we will be able to see each other every morning and every night.
“Okay.”
“That’s my girl.”
Moving to sit up so I can walk him out, he stops me.
“Don’t get up. I like seeing you like this. Messy hair, wearing my jersey, necklace, and ring. This is what I will picture every day that we can’t be together.”
He says the sweetest things.
“Well, I can’t give you a proper goodbye unless you let me get up.”
He laughs and pulls me up into a hug.
“God, I love you.”
“I love you too, Mr. Sexy.”
He laughs, some more and kisses me.
“Get some rest. I will call you when I get home so you know I made it.”
A huge smile comes to my face. “You’re going to call me today? You usually wait a few days.”
“I want to hear your voice. Besides, I know you hate not knowing if I made it home okay.”
“I do hate that. I worry about you driving back and forth to see me.”
“It won’t be for much longer. Soon you will be Mrs. McGinnis and we will be together everyday.”
We say goodbye a few more times before he leaves. And just as he promised, he called to let me know that he made it home. It wasn’t a long conversation, but at least I could breathe easy knowing that he was okay.
Chapter 38Kayla
We’ve set our wedding date for September ninth, nineteen eighty nine. That’s three months after my graduation. Things are moving so fast for us and I couldn’t be happier about it.
I went to meet Blake’s parents this past weekend and to see where our future home will be. It took a little longer than we planned for me to make the trip with him. There is just so much to do before graduation, my life is a little crazy right now.
Blake continues to surprise me and I thank God for him everyday. Feeling so blessed beyond belief, it all seems like a fantasy that is playing out in my head. If anyone had told me a few months ago that I would have met my soul mate and was marrying him in the matter of a few months I would have said they were crazy.
My relationship with Blake has been a whirlwind romance, like the ones in those romance novels I love to read. My life feels almost too perfect. Have you ever had that moment in your life where you have never felt happier, but you feel like something is looming in the back just waiting to destroy your happiness? No matter how happy I am, I can’t shake that feeling. I pray that it is just my paranoia kicking in.
After meeting Blake’s parents in person I see why he is the wonderful person that he is.
May 1989
“Blake, I’m so nervous. What if they don’t like me?”
We’ve been riding for almost two hours now. We are on some back roads so I’m thinking we must be getting close to his parents’ house. Blake reaches over, takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips, kissing each of my knuckles.
“Baby, they already love you because you have made their son happier than he has ever been. I’ve told them all about you.”
His comment makes me even more nervous. Blake tends to make me sound like some mystical creature who is perfect and I’m far from that. When they get to know the real me, the one whose mother gave her up, who doesn’t know who her father is, they will realize that their son deserves better.
“I kind of wish you hadn’t done that,” I say looking out the window.
I can’t look at him. Swallowing is becoming difficult, which means things could get really bad really fast in the next few minutes. Trying to take a fe
w deep breaths because I feel the panic beginning to over take me, causes Blake to take notice to my reaction.
Suddenly the truck jerks to the side of the road causing dirt to fly up along both sides of the truck.
“Kayla, stop this! Stop it now! Stop doubting what an exceptional person you are. No one is perfect, we all fall short in one way or another, but I could search the world over and never find anyone more perfect for me. They will love you because I love you and because you are just so damn loveable.”
His eyes burn into me as he clutches my hand in his. He won’t let go even when I try to pull it away.
“You don’t see me the way others do. You’ve made me out to be this person that I’m not.”
He hits the steering wheel making me jump. Gasping as I suck in enough air to quickly fill my lungs, making them feel as if they are going to burst.
“I would like to beat the crap out of every person who has ever let you down and made you believe that you are anything less than amazing.”
With my wide eyed stare and my mouth hanging open, I know I must look like a deer caught in headlights. Trying frantically to find my voice, but it fails me. Blake has never scared me, but I’m shocked at the amount of anger that is pouring off him in this moment.
His face softens and his eyes lose their darkness as they slowly change to the lighter green that I love so much.
Reaching up, he touches the side of my face and brushes his thumb over my bottom lip, I love when he does that. It makes me feel cherished. Lowering my eyes, I focus on the seat of the truck.
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I just hate that some people have made you doubt how extraordinary you are. Baby, don’t you see that I say those things about you because I am so madly in love with you that I don’t see any flaws that you may or may not have. I love you. Flaws and all. And be honest, you make me out to be so much better than I am too.”
Still unable to look up at him, I whisper, “I’m sorry.”