Let It Be Me

by Barbara Speak

  A mile down the road I decided to turn around and head back. School was coming in the morning whether I wanted it or not and I had to be on my toes. No sleep wouldn't give me any advantage when it came to the people in this town.

  Coming up to Canyon's house again I noticed everything was different. The lights casting through the windows were shining on to the front lawn illuminating the house itself. It amazes me how much I still could love something that held so many secrets. I stopped for a moment and stared with every intention of continuing my journey home until I heard his voice again. I couldn't understand how I could listen to him sing and it seemed so far removed from the man I'd spent the afternoon with. Canyon kept everything to himself. The little bit of information he gave me still was nothing compared to his backstory. Yet, through the songs he sang I could feel his pain. I recognized it as soon as I heard his voice. “Tonight I Want to Cry” by Keith Urban was one of those songs you don’t forget after you've heard it. Why he had picked such a sad song piqued my curiosity. Was he really all alone? His parents wouldn't have just left him here. Or was it about a girl? My curiosity almost won out. I snapped out of my thoughts and found myself at the back edge of the house again wanting this time to expose myself but reality slapped me in the face. Whatever happened to him was not my business. I was leaving and nothing good could come from getting closer to Canyon. He served as a good distraction but that was all I ever could let him be.

  Finally I was thinking clearly enough to backtrack out to the road where I belonged. His voice carried so well that I could still hear him halfway to my house. My heart hurt with the emotion he was pushing out with the lyrics. Somebody did some major damage to that man and I wasn't the one to fix it.

  As I climbed back in bed and closed my eyes I thought to myself, “I guess everyone has a skeleton in their closet.”

  Chapter 8

  The next morning I got out of bed and almost screamed after my feet touched the floor as I attempted to stand. Every muscle in my body burned.

  Showering had me almost in tears, making me angry at myself for being so completely out of shape. I was almost eighteen and had no reason to hurt this bad other than blaming my upbringing and that would be just an excuse. I pushed through the pain while drying my hair and getting dressed. Even turning the steering wheel on the way to school brought on an ache I never wanted to feel again. To say I was in a bad mood walking into school would be an understatement. I was crabby as hell.

  No one spoke to me in the parking lot. I even got through my first two classes unscathed. It wasn't until third period when Kyle McDermott passed me a note in the hall that everything changed.

  I was walking with my head down through the mass of people all scurrying to get where they needed to be before the bell rang. I hadn't really realized what had happened. One second I was minding my own business, praying no one would bump into me, and the next a wad of paper was shoved in my hand. I stopped walking and turned around to see who had given it to me, only to find one face looking back in my direction wearing a smile and it was Kyle's.

  Immediately, I let it fall to the floor and watched as it got kicked around by the shuffling feet of students. For a brief second I wondered what it could have said but then decided it didn't matter and continued on to my class.

  That decision came back to bite me in fifth period when Ashlynn came storming into the classroom, slamming her hands down onto my desk and then she leaned down so far that I could feel her breath on my face.

  "I told you to stay away from them." I had no idea what she was talking about. I hadn't gone anywhere near anyone. "Don't play stupid, Arianna."

  I pushed my chair back slightly to create some distance and questioned what the best move would be. The last thing I needed was more drama and if I gave her what she wanted that's exactly what I would get. On the other hand, though, my toleration level was about to implode. The only thing I could think to do was keep myself in check and reason with her.

  Looking up, I calmly spoke. "I've stuck to our agreement. Now, could you please just leave me alone like I asked and stop making a scene?"

  BAM

  Her hands came back down on the desk so hard it jumped off the floor.

  "Don't you dare lie to me, you stupid bitch. I saw what he wrote you and if you think for a second I'm going to let that happen you are dumber than I thought."

  It was all over that piece of paper I never bothered to read from Kyle.

  "Just go away, Ashlynn."

  "Fuck you. I'm not going anywhere."

  "Watch your language, Miss Stanton, and move along. Class is about to start."

  Mr. Brock had walked in the room giving me the out I needed.

  Once more for good measure she bent down even further until we were practically nose to nose. "This. Isn't. Over."

  Of course it wasn't. I had just managed to piss off the Queen Bee without lifting a finger. No, this was the beginning of the longest eight weeks of my life.

  The final class of the day was awful. Every student by then was talking about what Ashlynn was going to do in the parking lot after school. I almost laughed out loud when one girl said Ashlynn was going to beat me up. Did no one have an ounce of maturity in this town? That girl would never resort to violence if it meant she could lose. She was nothing but a prima donna looking to bully those that let her. It was quite sad. Although, at that moment, I was slightly worried they were right. I couldn't fight back if my life depended on it. It still hurt like hell to carry my backpack from class to class.

  The final bell went off ending the day and it seemed like every student turned to look at me before running out of the room to get outside as fast as possible.

  I stood up from my chair and grabbed my backpack from the floor, slinging it over my right shoulder. Just as I was entering the hall, Mrs. Hemswith called my name. I looked around until I spotted her walking toward me from the other end of the hall.

  "Please wait one moment." I walked toward her wondering what I did wrong when she spoke again. "Would you like me to escort you to your car?"

  I shook my head in disbelief. The damn principal knew about this too.

  "No, thank you, ma’am, I think I can handle this."

  "Are you sure, honey?"

  "Yeah, I will be fine."

  Her right hand landed on my left shoulder and then she squeezed, almost causing my knees to buckle. I tried keeping a straight face. The last thing I wanted her to do was feel sorry for me and take my choice away.

  "Okay, I will respect your decision but just know I will be watching to make sure nothing happens."

  "There's no need. I don't care to interact with the people of this town any longer than I have to."

  She looked sad when she replied, "I sure hope that changes." Then she let me go so I could leave.

  "Thank you for caring, Mrs. Hemswith. It really does mean something to me."

  "It's not a hard thing to do, Arianna. You're a good kid."

  I smiled and then went on to face the drama that was about to unfold in front of me.

  Entering the parking lot, I saw what seemed to be half of the students from the school waiting by their cars. No one did anything but watch me as I walked toward my truck with my keys in hand. "Just let this go smoothly," is all I kept saying to myself hoping mind over matter would happen.

  I was just about to grab my door handle, thinking I was in the clear, when Ashlynn and her three minions approached me.

  "Not so fast."

  I didn't even want to turn around. What would be the point?

  "Look at me, bitch!"

  I guess that was the point after all. I turned and found I was circled in with no option otherwise.

  "What do you want?" It came out as snotty as I meant it to. I was getting sick and tired of this hierarchy and I was only on day three.

  "Who do you think you are? Don't answer because I'm here to tell you. You are nothing. Do you hear me? Don't think for a second you will ever be anything other
than nothing. You can walk around all you want..."

  "Leave her alone, Ashlynn."

  I never saw it coming. In fact, I didn't understand a bit of what was happening in front of me.

  Ashlynn turned as soon as Kyle said it and with flaming fury written all over her perfect face, she screamed, "Stay out of this, Kyle!"

  Kyle walked closer until he came to stand within the circle I was confined in facing Ashlynn.

  "No! This is all about me anyway. So what, I said I was sorry for being mean to her. What's the big deal? She's new. She hasn't done anything to any of us and you've set out to make her your biggest target."

  "You asshole! You're just trying to make me jealous. Well I don't care! Take her to the bonfire Saturday night, see if I give two shits."

  So that's what was in the note. Yeah right, I thought. Like I would want to go to a party filled with these people.

  "Oh, you care. Look at you making a fool of yourself right now!"

  I couldn't take any more.

  "Both of you shut up." I looked at Kyle first. "Thank you for apologizing but if it was to get this reaction from Ashlynn then you can keep it." Then I turned to her. "You need to just stop. I don't want your man or any man for that matter. I told you to just leave me the hell alone and I meant it." And finally to both of them. "I have some place to be. So, if you don’t mind, move the hell away from my truck and then you can continue this dramafest without me."

  I turned my back to them and grabbed for my door handle again, this time uninterrupted. I swung the door open almost knocking down one of the trifecta and climbed inside, slamming it behind me. My adrenaline was racing as I turned the engine over and practically stalled it as I fed it more gas than it needed.

  My tires squealed when I punched the pedal even harder pulling out of the parking lot.

  "How dare them!" I thought as the memories came flooding back to me of being cornered. By the time I pulled into Canyon's, I was hot.

  Getting out, I slammed the door behind me and watched the face of the man ready to greet me fall.

  "Rough day?"

  "I don't want to talk about it."

  I kept walking until I entered the barn and realized I had completely forgotten about Shelby.

  "Damn it!"

  I began walking back toward my truck, passing Canyon on the way when he grabbed my arm lightly and spun me to a halt.

  "What has got you so riled up and where do you think you're going?"

  His eyes showed concern and his bottom lip was between his teeth while he waited for me to answer.

  "I forgot Shelby."

  "Were you supposed to pick her up from school?"

  "No, our mother does that. I promised her I would bring her with me today and I completely got sidetracked."

  I threw my hands in the air, frustrated to say the least when Canyon said, "She can wait a few minutes; it won't kill her. Besides, you need to cool down a little before she sees you like this. What happened?"

  He had placed his other arm on my shoulder and now had me pinned with no way to avoid the question.

  "I just had to deal with some stupid people from school is all. It's not a big deal."

  "Well I would beg to differ. I have never seen you so mad."

  "Canyon, I really don't want to talk about this..."

  "I'm not letting you shut down on this one. What were their names?"

  "What good would that do?"

  "Just tell me."

  "Why?"

  "Ari, I swear, I will have you cleaning every pile I can find if you don't start talking."

  "You suck!"

  "Yeah, I've been told that before. Now spill it."

  Canyon took me up the stairs to the screened in porch I knew he sat in every night and offered me a drink before I went over everything that had happened since the first time I stepped foot on school grounds. Canyon balled his hands into fists a couple of times and chewed the hell out of his bottom lip but he remained quiet until I was done with my rant.

  "Are you kidding me?" was the first thing out of his mouth. The second was, "I am taking you to school tomorrow to show those little shits—"

  "No, you aren't. I'm doing fine on my own and you'll only make things worse."

  "You don't know anything about this town, little woman. These people…"

  "What? These people are nothing to me. I am out of here in eight weeks, Canyon."

  "That doesn't give them the right to act like that. I could kick Kyle McDermott's hind end for treating you like that and Ashlynn Stanton? Well, she's been a little brat since the day she was born. When I dated her sister Brooke she would..."

  "You dated her sister?"

  "Yeah, three out of the four years of high school."

  "Holy crap."

  "She was nothing like Ashlynn, I can tell you that."

  "Well neither of them are worth you getting involved in this. Besides, my poor little sister is probably crying wondering why I haven't showed up yet."

  "Why don't you go get her and I can see about rounding up some of the foals for her while you're gone."

  "I was wondering where they all were when I went into the barn earlier."

  "It was nice out today. Besides, I needed to work Apollo for the race coming up."

  "Work him?"

  "I'm raising quarter horses, remember? They need to be worked to build their speed."

  "How do you do that? Never mind. Tell me later. I need to go get Shelby."

  I walked out the door and ran to my truck feeling like a fifty pound weight had been lifted off of me. I never thought I would want to talk about anything personal. What would happen if I slipped? I could lose everything. What I needed to remember most of all was to keep my mouth shut or I was going nowhere but hell and I didn't need to bring Canyon down with me. Having someone I could consider a friend was one thing, but a true friendship works both ways and I needed to remember that.

  Chapter 9

  Watching Shelby's face when Canyon brought her over to the corral was one of those priceless moments you want to hold onto forever. Her red curls gleamed in the light of the sun but were no comparison to the beam of her smile. She bounced up and down holding on to the top wood rail while standing on the bottom one. Inside contained all four babies and their mommas.

  Outside the fenced in area were several other horses watching curiously from their different spots in the pasture.

  I walked over to stand by Shelby's side asking her, "So, was it worth the wait?"

  She began to bounce again not able to contain her excitement when she screamed, "Please bring one over here” ignoring me completely. I didn't need her to tell me, she was in her own heaven.

  Canyon was pointing to each one taunting her while I openly laughed. "This one? Or do you want this one?"

  "Any of them! PLEASE, CANYON."

  She looked like she was either going to explode from eagerness or she needed to use the bathroom, I couldn't tell with the way she was shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

  Finally, Canyon brought Triton, the oldest of the foals, close enough to Shelby that should could reach out and touch him. Unfortunately, we forgot to explain to her the smell test. Just like her bigger sister she threw her hand out toward the young horse causing him to jerk back and take Canyon's arm with him.

  "Whoa. It's okay, boy. She just wants to pet you. It's okay." Canyon worked to calm the frightened horse as Shelby's face fell.

  "I'm sorry."

  Canyon beat me to the punch. "Don't you worry about a thing, Shelby. Triton here just needs to learn how to be around more people is all. You didn't do anything wrong. The only thing I would like you to remember is that horses are magnificent creatures with stellar strength and capability. You always have to respect that. When meeting a horse whether it's a big one or a little one like him, you always want to hold your hand out for them to smell you. I know that sounds weird but that's how they decide if they can trust you or not. Are you ready to try it again?"<
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  I looked down at Shelby and could feel her uncertainty like waves crashing off of her. Without wanting to push her, I stuck my arm out and watched Triton size me up before his ears turned toward me and he lowered his head. I stayed put until I felt his hot breath flow over my knuckles. Slowly, I turned my hand over and raised it enough that I came in contact with his neck. Sliding my hand over his hair I looked back at Shelby and said, "You wouldn't believe how their fur feels. It's..."

  "A coat." I looked at Canyon wondering what in the heck he was talking about. "It's their coat, not fur. I was just trying to help you out. If you want to call it fur go for it."

  I guess my facial expression read something other than what I was thinking because he looked almost scared.

  "Why would you say that? Of course I don't want to sound stupid and call it fur if that's not what it is. Thanks for straightening that out for me."

  The two of us were going back and forth not paying any attention to Shelby. When we looked back she had her arm completely extended and Triton was licking the palm of her hand.

  My eyes practically bulged out of my sockets while Canyon smiled at them.

  "He likes you."

  "I had no idea horses licked people like a dog."

  "They don't. They like the salt on your skin and apparently Shelby here has plenty of it."

  Shelby started to giggle once she learned he wasn't going to bite her hand off next. Well, we actually didn't learn that part until Canyon said, “Just keep your fingers together. Don't spread them apart or he might mistake one for a carrot."

  I laughed thinking he was kidding but Shelby took his advice and her little fingers went stiff as a board, like they were glued together.