by J. S. Cooper
“So you just want me to hold it between my legs?” She looked up at me, clueless, and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.
“Hand it to me,” I said and took the vibrator from her hand. I turned it on and then slapped it between her legs, holding it close to her bud. I moved it back and forth slightly, allowing my fingers to graze her gently.
“Oh my gosh, TJ.” She squealed as she moved forward.
“Yes?” I whispered as I felt her growing wetter and wetter.
“I think I’m going to come.”
“No, you’re not,” I said and held it there. “Not until I’m inside of you.”
“I don’t know what sort of self-restraint you think I have.” She cried out. “But I don’t think I’m going to be able to stop—oh, oh, TJ.” She shuddered suddenly and I froze, wondering if she was going to come. I felt slightly put out. I didn’t want her to come from a little plastic machine. I knew it was stupid of me, but I wanted to feel like only me being inside of her could make her come. I wanted to own her body. I wanted my cock to be her master. The secret to her pleasure.
“I want to feel you inside of me.” She cried out again and looked back at me. “Please, now.”
“Okay.” I grinned and looked down at the pure lust and want on her face. It was enough to make my heart thump harder for a few seconds. She looked beautiful with her hair flying in the wind and her cheeks blushed pink. Her eyes looked dazed and her lips were trembling as she waited for me to take her. I pulled the vibrator away from her and she moaned. “No, baby,” I said softly. “I want to make sure that when you come it’s all because of me.”
“Of course, it’s all because of you.” She cried out and I could hear the desire in her voice as she waited for her release.
“That’s right, baby,” I said, feeling cheesy as I said the words. I wasn’t sure who I was becoming. I wasn’t this man. I didn’t get caught up. I didn’t feel things when having sex. At least, not emotional things. I just fucked for a release. I didn’t need to look into the woman’s eyes, didn’t care about wanting to see that look of pleasure and devotion in her stare as she came crashing down from her high. In fact, I hated it when a woman looked at me with anything other than lust. I didn’t want her to feel that there was any sort of involvement aside from the sex. Because there wasn’t.
That was different with Mila, though. I didn’t know why. I didn’t want to think about it too hard. She was just someone who’d been in my life for a long time and that was why it affected me differently. She was an innocent, not used to the games of men. I was going slowly, treading carefully because I cared about her feelings. I was still a bastard, though. If I weren’t, I never would have taken her in the first place.
“Close your eyes,” I said as I dropped down to my knees and pulled my pants down. My hands slid up in front of her and grabbed her breasts and pinched her nipples as I positioned her in front of me. My right hand fell from her breast and I guided my hardness inside of her. I could feel her quivering on me and it only made me grow harder. To know I had this power over her . . . that I could make her body come for me . . . that I could make her want me more than she’d ever wanted anything before. This was power. This was greatness.
“TJ,” she screamed out as I pounded into her, hard, leaving nothing to chance. I slid in and out of her, guiding my cock as if commanding a great naval fleet. I stared out at the night sky as I felt her coming hard, screaming out my name, and as I felt myself withdraw from her and spurt onto the roof, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of guilt, with my pride. This wasn’t what it was about. This wasn’t a moment to be proud of, though I couldn’t stop myself from grinning down at her as she beamed up at me. My lips were smiling, but my eyes and heart felt dead. I had no idea what I was doing here, to her. All I knew was that I was in over my head.
Chapter Two
Mila
“Which one?” I held up two dresses to Sally and frowned as she looked at them with an unimpressed expression on her face. “Too dowdy?”
“Not if you’re going to Sunday school,” she said, even-faced. “And you’re teaching it. And you’re the priest’s wife.”
“Ha ha, very funny.” I rolled my eyes at her. “I don’t know what to wear. This is the first time I’ll be meeting the board of directors and the major shareholders. I don’t want to let TJ down.”
“I thought you met them already?”
“I met the board of directors, but not the shareholders as well.” I sighed. “This is the first really, really important party. I’ll be left alone. People will be asking me questions, judging me.” I made a face. “I just don’t want to let TJ down.”
“Ask me if I care if you let TJ down.” She pursed her lips and then smiled, a slow, totally innocent-looking smile. “I will help you pick a dress though.”
“Hmm, what’s the catch?” I narrowed my eyes as I gazed at her devious-looking face.
“What catch?” She grinned.
“Well, why are you so eager to help if you think TJ is a douchebag?”
“Just because I think he’s a douche, doesn’t mean you do.” She shrugged. “Plus, I want you to look so sexy tonight that he’s not going to want to keep his hands off of you, but he’ll have to because this is a party with business associates.”
“You’re totally devious.” I laughed at her. “But I like it. However, it can’t be too sexy. Nothing that says I’m a hooker or a high-class escort.”
“What about low-class escort?”
“Sally.” I glared at her.
“Just joking.” She giggled and headed to my closet. “Okay, let me see what you have in here.” She rifled through my dresses and then looked at me. “I don’t suppose he’ll give you a credit card for a new dress?”
“He already gave me one.” I made a face and sighed. “My wardrobe sucks, doesn’t it?”
“He offered you a credit card?” Sally’s eyes lit up. “To buy whatever you want?”
“I guess.” I shrugged. “I didn’t take it.”
“You didn’t take it?” Her eyes widened. “What are you? Dumb?”
“No, I already told you I don’t want to give anyone any reason to think I’m a paid escort or whore.”
“Who is ‘anyone’, Mila?” Sally shook her head. “Get that card and let’s go shopping.”
“Sally,” I groaned.
“What?” She pulled out a flowery sundress. “Do you want to wear this or your slutty black Lycra dress that you got for the clubs?”
“Neither,” I sighed.
“Exactly.” She hung the dress back up. “You don’t have a wardrobe for expensive dinners with millionaires. And tonight you need a dress that’s going to wow the socks off of him. Tonight you have to give TJ a taste of his own medicine.”
“Thanks.”
“I don’t have one either.” She shrugged and then looked away. “And I most probably will never need one, either.”
“Why not?” I said in my perfunctory way, though I already knew the answer would have something to do with her not having a boyfriend.
“Because I’ll never be invited to those dinners,” she said sorrowfully.
“Why not?” I asked and then continued. “Is it because you’re going to be single forever?”
“Mila!” She glared at me.
“What?” I reached over and touched her shoulder. “You’re not going to be single forever because my brother is a whore.”
“How is he, by the way?” she asked softly, her eyes searching mine. I wasn’t sure how to answer. Did I tell her that Cody had asked me about her twice now? Did I tell her that a part of me had a feeling that maybe Cody did like her, possibly? I didn’t know what to do. She was my best friend, and as much as I wanted to make this better, I didn’t know what to do or say. I loved her like a sister and I didn’t want my brother to be the one to ruin our friendship forever, if he turned out to not like her or to like her and then cheat on her or something else crazy like that.
&nb
sp; “I’m not sure.” I shrugged and gave her a wry smile. “He’s not really talking to me.” I rolled my eyes.
“Why?” She looked at me with an expression of hope, as if she hoped that his reason for being so cold to me was due to the fact that she was my best friend and he wanted her.
“He said and I quote, ‘you scarred me by sleeping with TJ. I’m not sure how I didn’t lose it and rip you out of the bed, but I think shock stopped me. You should be thanking your lucky stars.’ Ugh.” I made a face at her. “He needs to just get over it.”
“That is a big thing for him to witness, though.” Sally laughed. “I mean, it’s not every day you see your little sister boinking your best friend.”
“True, ha-ha.” I sighed. “I sure don’t want to see him boinking anyone.”
“Not even your best friend?” Sally gave me a look and laughed slightly. She ran her hands through her hair and then sighed. “Why is this such a mess? I wish I could just not like him. I don’t want to feel this way.”
“I’m sorry.” I reached my arms out to her. “I hate that you’re feeling this way.”
“It’s fine.” She made a face as I gave her a quick hug. “It’s just what I get for falling for a guy who has never shown any interest in me.”
“He has shown an interest.” I stumbled over my words, trying to find a balance in telling my friend that she wasn’t a fool, but not wanting to lead her on to thinking that he was interested. “But he’s a player. I don’t know how he’s getting women because he sucks, but he’s just not the ‘settling down’ type.”
“Yeah, that’s true.” Sally’s voice caught and I leaned back and looked into her eyes.
“You okay?” I asked, concerned by the tone in her voice.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She gave me a big smile, but I could see her eyes were still sad and looked wet.
“Oh, Sally.” I stared at her. “You’re not okay.”
“I’m fine,” she said, her lips trembling as she looked at me. “I feel like a fool, Mila.”
“You’re not a fool.”
“I thought he liked me. I thought he was the one.” Tears rolled gently from her eyes as she looked at me. “I thought he was my soul mate and that he just had to figure it out. I thought that deep inside he wanted me and he was waiting for the right moment.”
“You never know,” I said softly, not knowing what to say. I knew all too well what she was feeling. It was the same way I was feeling about TJ. My heart sank for the both of us, though I knew it would be selfish of me to bring up my fears and concerns regarding TJ in that moment.
“He doesn’t give a shit about me.” She wiped her eyes and laughed manically. “He fucked another girl while I was there. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. I don’t mean anything to him.”
“Oh, Sally.” I bit down on my lower lip, hating Cody for putting Sally through this.
“It’s fine,” she said again, maybe trying to convince herself. She took a deep breath. “I’m just PMS-ing.” She made a face. “I’ll be fine. It’s not like we dated and he dumped me. We had nothing. Absolutely nothing. It’s not his problem I liked him and was hoping for more.”
“Sally . . . ” I started, but stopped myself, not knowing what to say.
“It’s okay, Mila.” She grabbed a hold of my hand. “I’m sorry for being emotional. Let’s figure out what dress you’re going to wear tonight.”
“Let’s grab a glass of wine first,” I said and headed towards the door so that I could grab a bottle of wine from the kitchen. “Wine and chocolate makes everything better.”
***
“Let’s just go to the store and have a look.” I grinned at Sally as we sat across from each other and decimated a large bar of cookies-and-cream chocolate. “I might have enough to buy a new dress myself.”
“Is that a request to borrow money?” she asked me with a raised eyebrow and a grin back, the chocolate having put both of our moods back up. “Exactly what money are you going to use to buy said dress?”
“Well, I have some.” I laughed as my voice trailed off, my financial situation entering my mind unpleasantly. “Plus maybe I can get a store card.”
“A store card?”
“Like a store credit card.” I shook my head at her. “That way I have thirty days to pay it off, or more if they have a six-months-no-interest plan or something.”
“Mila.” Sally shook her head at me. “I’ve never heard that Valentino or Chanel had a store credit card and no, you’re not getting yourself into more debt.”
“I’m not really in debt.” I laughed. “I just have no money.”
“And you have a bunch of bills to pay each month.” She rolled her eyes at me. “Where I come from, that’s called debt.”
“Where do you come from?” I said with a grin. “Wall Street? Bank of America Valley? Chase Street? Discover me discover you?”
“Ha ha, not.” Sally smiled at me and sighed. “Mila, I know you don’t like to think about these things, but you can’t just be spending all your cash and charging what you can’t afford.”
“I’m trying to be good!” I exclaimed. “You’re the one who told me to get a new dress.”
“I know.” She ran her hands through her hair and looked at me with a wry smile. “I got carried away, plus I figured that TJ could buy it.”
“I just don’t know how I feel about using TJ’s money to buy stuff.” I bit my lower lip. “It just seems to cheapen it.”
“Cheapen what?” Sally looked at me cautiously. “You know that this isn’t real, right? You’re not his real fiancée. Just because he’s fucking you doesn’t mean he wants you for anything more than a good time.” She stopped then and slapped her hand across her mouth as my face fell. “Forgive me, Mila. That came out a lot harsher than I’d planned. I guess I’m still feeling down about Cody and taking it out on everyone, like some sort of scorned bitch. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
“Hey, I understand. And you’re not a bitch,” I said and sighed as we got up and walked back to my bedroom, having finished our glasses of wine and the entire bar of chocolate. I moaned loudly as we walked into the bedroom and I thought about all the extra calories I’d just taken in, and for what? I groaned and then fell down on my bed dramatically. “It’s not like what you’re saying isn’t true. He hasn’t given me any reason to believe that I mean anything real to him.”
“I don’t get guys.” Sally plopped down next to me. “Why can’t he see what he has right in front of his nose? Why can’t he just smarten up and realize that you are the best girl for him? Why can’t he just wake up and see that he loves you?”
“Yeah,” I sighed and looked at her. “The same goes for Cody. Why can’t he see that you’re right here?”
“I wish I knew.” She shrugged. “Maybe I’m too ugly for him. Too fat. Too whatever.”
“Sally.” I frowned at her and jumped up. I pulled her arms up and pulled her up from the bed. “Look at me,” I said loudly as her eyes drifted away from mine. “You’re beautiful. You’re kind. You’re loyal. You’re the most generous person I know. You are not ugly. You are far from fat.” I squeezed her hands. “My brother is a fool if he doesn’t see that.” I looked into her grateful brown eyes and my heart broke at the pain I saw in her gaze. “You’re my best friend and my sister. And you will find the perfect man for you. Maybe that’s not Cody,” I said with a quick smile. “And maybe TJ’s not my perfect guy, either. Maybe we need to wake up and smell the roses. Maybe our Mr. Rights are out there looking for us right now.”
“So you want to blow TJ off tonight, then?” she asked me with a grin. “We can go and look for the guys who are looking for us.”
“That’s not such a bad idea,” I said, though my heart fell at her words. I knew TJ was bad news for my heart. The more time I spent with him, the more I fell for him. His eyes had this way of piercing into my soul, and his smile was like a hammer, chipping away at the wall around my heart. Every time he sm
iled, a dent was made. He was becoming a part of me. When he was inside of me, I felt like we were truly one.
I had to keep reminding myself that this was an illusion. These feelings, this want, this obsession, weren’t real. At the end of four weeks, I was very likely to find myself torn and broken apart. I didn’t know how I would survive without him, and that scared me. We’d only just gotten into this arrangement. We’d only just begun this farce. We’d only just begun, but already I was blinded by my love for him. I walked away from Sally and grabbed my phone and punched in TJ’s numbers.
“What are you doing?” Sally screeched, her eyes widening as she watched me making the call.
“Morning, sunshine.” TJ’s voice was silky and smooth as he picked up the phone.
“Morning,” I said. “I have some bad news.”
“What bad news?” His tone changed and I swallowed hard. Sally was shaking her head at me and frowning.
“Are you crazy?” she whispered. “I was joking.”
“I can’t come tonight,” I said softly as I smiled at Sally. I needed to be a good friend more than I needed to be a good fake fiancée.
“What are you talking about?” TJ’s voice was angry.
“I have to do something else tonight.”
“You have a date?” His tone was deadly and I shivered. Who knew that he would get so pissed off so quickly? And why would he think I had a date?
“Um, not technically,” I squeaked out.
“Not technically?” he said softly, slowly, and I waited for him to continue before speaking. “What does that mean, Mila? Do I have to remind you of our deal? Of the contract that you signed?”
“TJ, I’m just going out with Sally,” I said quickly before he started getting carried away. “She’s feeling down.”
“Mila.” Sally glared at me.
“I mean, she wanted us to go out and see if we meet the men of our dreams.” I paused as I listened to the silence on the other side of the phone. Even Sally was looking at me with a shocked expression. “That came out wrong,” I said in a quiet tone. “TJ?” I asked, wondering what he was thinking.