Kendall (Kendall Book 5)

by John Holt

  The Captain nodded and smiled once again. “No we wouldn’t,” he said. “In fact we might be asking you for help. You know a little surveillance job here and there, something like that. Nothing too complicated. We’ll keep it simple for you, just as long as we can afford your rates that is.”

  Now it was Kendall’s turn to smile. “No problem, I’ll offer you a discount,” he replied. “As long as I’ve the time and I’m not too busy, as a favor to you so to speak.”

  The Captain nodded. “Oh I fully realize that you’ll be busy, but maybe you might spare some time for your old friends.”

  Kendall nodded. “You only have to call.”

  The Captain looked at the letter once again. He sighed. “You are sure about this,” he said tapping the letter. “You’re a good man and I hate to lose you.”

  Kendall nodded, he was sure.

  “Well if you’re determined. Reluctantly I accept your resignation. I have no choice. So six months from today you hand in your badge and gun and that’s it. We’ll miss you.”

  “Thank you Captain,” Kendall said as he stood up, turned and slowly walked to the door.

  * * *

  Six months, he murmured. It had been a long time coming, and he had been really looking forward to it. He had been so excited and keen to get on with his plans. He couldn’t wait as he counted off the days. Now that the day was finally here he wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t just having second thoughts. He was having third and fourth thoughts.

  It seemed different somehow. Not exactly what he had been expecting. He couldn’t precisely say what it was. He couldn’t shake off the feeling of uncertainty, of apprehension. Why did he feel like this, he wondered? He shook his head. It was all a great big mistake. What would he do all alone? He looked around at the office. Everyone was busy on the telephone, or writing up their reports. How would he ever manage without the guys for back up? Oh naturally he could always give them a call, he knew that, but it wouldn’t be the same, would it?

  “Then why? Why leave? That’s what the Captain had said.

  Kendall smiled and shook his head. What had he replied? He thought for a few moments. Then he nodded his head. “I feel that I need a change.” That’s what he had said. A change!!! He smiled. What was so great about a change? What was that saying about the devil you knew?

  He had been so sure back then. The Captain wasn’t so sure though was he? Oh no, he knew better. But as for Kendall there was no doubt in his mind was there? “I’m sure that it’s the right thing to do, sir,” he had said.

  He wasn’t so sure now though was he? Now the doubts were beginning to fill his mind. Oh yes it was a new year all right. In fact it was already several months into the year, more than enough time in which to realize that the New Year really wasn’t going to be any different to the year previous. He still had to earn a living didn’t he, to pay his bills. He still had to survive.

  Would it really be any different changing his career? He shook his head. Unlikely, he murmured. At that moment he knew that he had made an error, a great big mistake.

  * * *

  Kendall had made many mistakes in his life, and would certainly make more in the future. But this!! This was the mistake to top them all, the Daddy of the lot, a real lulu. How could he have been so stupid, so dumb? There had been no one twisting his arm had there. No one had forced him. It was his decision, and his alone. He had no one to blame but himself. What on earth had he been thinking about?

  Why was it that people always thought that the grass was greener somewhere else? They always thought that it would be better just around the corner. Kendall smiled and shook his head. There was absolutely no guarantee that it would actually be any different. Certainly you might hope that it would be, but hoping isn’t getting.

  Somehow Kendall was beginning to suspect that his lush new lawn would not be an improvement after all. It would contain just as many weeds, if not more. It would be just as patchy, and just as difficult to cut. He shook his head, and heaved a sigh. He was used to his patch. He knew all about it, the difficult areas where the grass was straggly, and the hilly areas which were difficult to cut. He would have to learn all about the new area. Where the stony areas were and where the grass just wouldn’t grow no matter what you did to it. Something about the ‘devil you know’ came into mind.

  * * *

  “You know not many people escape these walls, and live to tell the tale,” Mills continued, slapping Kendall’s back for a second time. “You are a very fortunate man, very fortunate indeed.”

  “Oh right,” said Kendall trying to sound amused. It wasn’t working. He tried to smile but somehow the facial muscles would not do what they were supposed to. Perhaps the slap on the back had affected the nerves in the spinal cord. He sighed and took a deep breath. At that precise moment he didn’t feel particularly fortunate. In fact precisely the opposite would have been a far more accurate assessment.

  “There are a lot of guys who would love to be in your shoes, believe me,” Mills continued. “They’re just lining up. I’ve another eighteen months before I get out. Eighteen months, just imagine. I won’t survive that long. I’ll die in the attempt.” He smiled, tapped Kendall on the back a third time and walked away, shaking his head and muttering to himself, “Lucky guy.”

  Kendall looked around the room. Where were all of these guys ready to take his place? Where was this long line of people? He would have happily swopped with any one of them. They only had to ask. Perhaps he should put up a sign.

  He looked at his watch. “Another five hours, and thirty-seven minutes, and that’s that.” He started to nervously tap the desk. What was he going to do? It had seemed like such a good idea at the time, but now it didn’t seem that way at all. How would he ever manage on his own? There would be no one to talk to, or to get advice from, or offer the benefit of their thoughts. He would be completely alone.

  Could he change his mind he wondered? It wasn’t too late was it? It couldn’t be. After all he still had five hours before he was to be cast out on to the street. That would be time enough. All he had to do was speak to the Captain. It’s all been a terrible mistake, Captain, a great big error of judgment on my part. A momentary lapse, not thinking straight, you know how it is. Everyone makes a mistake once in a while. But hey let’s just forget it shall we. It never happened. No real harm done.

  Oh sure the Captain would take him back gladly. No problem. What was it he had said? “We’ll miss you.” But he doesn’t have to miss me does he? He just wouldn’t go, that was the answer. He would stay at the Department. Everyone would be happy. Of course there would be a few forms to fill out in triplicate, but what about it. It was the least he would expect. There was always paperwork. So what about it? He was well used to paperwork. Besides it would be worth it. After all, all things being considered, what was a couple of forms? If it meant pleasing the Captain, that was all that mattered. He was feeling better already.

  * * *

  “I suppose you already have a lot of things lined up,” said another voice. It was the Captain. “Important cases I mean.” He paused. “This time next week you’ll probably be up to your eyes in it, and raking it in. Spare a thought for us paupers back here and struggling won’t you.”

  Kendall gave a nervous laugh. “Oh sure,” he said. “I’ll certainly be raking it in, no problem.” He paused for a moment. Maybe even at this late stage he could still withdraw his notice. Now would be a good time. “I was actually thinking about …”

  “You’ll be pleased to know that your replacement starts tomorrow morning, nine o’clock sharp,” said the Captain. “Officer Peter Jameson, a rookie straight out of the Academy. Poor kid’s still wet behind the ears. He won’t know what’s hit him.” He smiled. “He’ll be all right though. We’ll put him with Adam. He’ll teach him the ropes. He’ll be right as rain in no time you’ll see.”

  “Oh,” said Kendall. “That’s nice. Adam’s a good choice.”

  The Captain nodded. “O
ne of the best,” he replied. “Sorry Kendall you were about to say something before I interrupted you.”

  Kendall shook his head. Perhaps it wasn’t such a good time after all. “Oh no, it was nothing really.”

  The Captain nodded. “That’s fine,” he said. “I better get on. Busy, you know how it is. Things to do, people to see. It’s alright for you, but some of us still have to work for a living.”

  He started to walk away, shaking his head. “How we’ll ever manage without you I’ll never know.” He stopped, turned and looked back at Kendall. He winked. “We’ll muddle through somehow I expect. See you later.” He smiled, gave a wave, turned around and walked away.

  * * *

  Chapter

  Four

  Time to Go

  Kendall shook his head and heaved a sigh. Six months ago he had been supremely confident. Then he had been so sure, but now. Now it was all a little daunting.

  He reached into his inside pocket and slowly withdrew a small leather wallet. He flipped it open. In the right hand compartment was a faded photograph of his grandfather. And, there, on the left side, securely pinned in place, was his Police Badge. He carefully unhooked it from the wallet, and laid it on to the desk. He looked back at the wall clock. There was just over three hours left. The Captain would be collecting that badge quite soon now, and he would no longer be a police officer.

  NYPD Badge

  Kendall started to smile as he looked at the badge and thought of the identical one that at that precise moment was sitting in his apartment. Naturally he shouldn’t have had two badges. That was strictly against the rules. Not that it had been planned that way. It just sort of happened.

  Was it eighteen months ago that he had lost his badge? Or at least he thought that he had lost it. He had searched high and low for it but there was no trace. His apartment had been checked top to bottom, turned inside out. It was nowhere to be seen. He had searched his desk at the office, and his locker. There was no sign of it. Clearly it had been lost out on the streets somewhere. Perhaps some kid had found it, and was now pretending to be a New York detective. Or maybe it had been picked out by one of the local hoods, and was now leading a life of crime. Or perhaps it had just ended up on a trash heap somewhere, or at the bottom of the Hudson River.

  Either way the badge was clearly missing and was not going to be found. So a requisition was duly issued requesting one new badge for the use of. Of course there were lots of questions, and the top brass weren’t best pleased. Four different forms were required, in triplicate, including a full report as to when the badge had last been seen. Though it had seemed to Kendall that if he had known where the badge had last been seen, it was quite likely that it would still have been there. It would not, therefore, be lost.

  Nonetheless, Kendall completed the necessary paperwork to the best of his ability. Three weeks later the new badge was issued, together with a stern warning for him to be more careful in the future and not lose that one.

  “Take care of that one Kendall,” the Captain had said.

  Kendall said that he would, but these things happened. He was sorry and it wouldn’t happen again.

  “These things better not happen,” said the Captain. “Otherwise we’ll just deduct the cost out of your pay.”

  Three days later the original badge was found. It had slipped down the side of the passenger seat of his car. How it had happened he just did not know. Not that it mattered. The badge had been found, and now the replacement badge could be returned to the office. Or could it? A second badge might be useful he reasoned, although at that moment he wasn’t quite sure how. Nonetheless he decided that he would hang on to the badge for the time being at least. Besides he would appear foolish having said that it was lost, and then suddenly finding it. He could just imagine the others ribbing him. He had already taken a lot of stick for losing it in the first place. “Lose your head if it weren’t screwed on.” Then of course there would be more questions at the department. More explanations, and more form filling. No, it would, on balance, be best not to say anything, and just to keep hold of both badges.

  He picked up the badge and polished it on his sleeve. Number 881, he murmured. He nodded slowly, and laid it back down on to the desk. He then carefully un-hooked his shoulder holster, and placed it on to the desk next to the badge. Next he opened the top drawer of his desk and took out his 38 caliber revolver. He looked at it and shook his head. In all of his time as a police officer he had never actually used the gun. Not in the line of duty. He had been required to draw the weapon on numerous occasions, but he had never needed to actually squeeze the trigger, except on the firing range that is. Even that hadn’t been that often. He had avoided it at any possible opportunity.

  He was not the greatest of shots, so all in all it was probably fortunate that he hadn’t needed to use it. He couldn’t hit the side of a barn from twenty yards, his colleagues had said mockingly. He shook his head. It wasn’t true, he murmured. He could certainly hit the side of a barn if he had to, if he really wanted to. If there had actually been the need to be firing at a barn, which, strangely enough, there hadn’t been during the whole of his time with the Department.

  Nonetheless he had to admit he was not a good shot. Not like Adam. Now he was a good shot, departmental champion for three years running. Kendall shrugged. I can hardly keep the gun still with my arm outstretched. When I squeeze the trigger my arm has a will of its own, and just moves sharply to the left. He started to grin. Adam was not only a good shot. In fact he was good at everything. Boxing champion, outstanding athlete, great swimmer, you name it. Kendall wondered if there was anything that Adam wasn’t good at. Checkers may be, Kendall decided after long and careful consideration.

  Kendall suddenly shook his head and decided that more than likely Adam was probably an acknowledged master of Checkers as well as all of his other skills, and could probably cook as well, probably made all his own clothes too.

  Kendall continued to look at the gun for a few moments, wondering whether or not he would need one in connection with his new venture. He smiled, and then shook his head. He had managed perfectly well without the need to use one so far. He would continue without one. He nodded his head, and symbolically pushed the gun further away. Kendall continued to stare at the 38 revolver, and smiled. Although he had never used it, not in anger, he somehow felt strange without it, naked almost.

  * * *

  Suddenly he was aware of movement behind him. It was Alan Mills once again. “Who’s the guy in the picture?” he asked. “There, with your badge.”

  Kendall looked at the badge, and then back at Mills. “Oh that’s my grand-father,” he replied.

  Mills nodded. “Good looking guy,” he said. “You didn’t take after him then.”

  Kendall glared at Mills. “Well I had thought, you know, the nose perhaps.”

  Mills nodded. “Perhaps,” he replied unconvinced. “Anyway, I just came over to say goodbye Tom,” he said.

  “What?” replied Kendall, a little surprised. “We’re all off to Kelly’s bar for a drink later.”

  “I know that,” Mills replied. “And I’d love to be there you know that. But I just got a call, a homicide.” He shook his head. “I won’t get back in time that’s for sure.”

  “That’s a disappointment, Alan,” said Kendall.

  “I’ll take a rain check,” Mills replied. “Now you keep in touch won’t you? And don’t forget if there’s anything I can do for you just call.”

  Kendall nodded. “That’s good of you Alan,” he said.

  “Well I’ll see you then, Tom,” Mills said. “We’re going to miss you around here.” He held his hand out.

  Kendall grasped it tightly and shook it. “You take care, Alan,” he said.

  “You too,” Mills replied. “And don’t forget you owe me a drink.”

  “No problem,” said Kendall. “I won’t forget.”

  Mills nodded, turned and walked away. Kendall watched for a few minut
es until he had disappeared. We’re going to miss you, he murmured. That’s what Mills had said, and he had meant it. Kendall shook his head. This was all a very big mistake. He heaved a sigh. Too bad, he said in a hushed voice. There was nothing he could do about it, not now. He had made his bed, now he had to lie in it. He just had to get on with it, and make the best of it.

  * * *

  He suddenly heard laughter from across the room. He turned his head and looked over at the far side of the room. He could see some of the guys milling around talking. Probably about the game on Saturday, Kendall thought, or perhaps that new secretary up in Grant’s office.

  Just behind them he could see the top of the cake on the desk. The cake, his farewell cake, a large sponge cake shaped like a police badge, covered with chocolate icing. He shook his head and smiled. It had been Shirley’s idea, Detective Shirley Roberts over at Juvenile. He shrugged. It was a nice touch, but he really didn’t like sponge that much. A nice fruit cake, now that would have been different, with currants, and raisins, and almonds and … Or maybe a simple doughnut with lashings of fresh cream and strawberry jam. That really would have been something, much more to his taste. But no, this was sponge. Oh well, so be it. It was a nice idea anyway.

  He looked at the wall clock once again. It was almost time to go. Another few minutes and then it would start - the formal ceremony. Execution more like, he murmured. He would be expected to make his way over and then to give a speech of some kind. How he had loved his time at the force, how he would miss his friends and colleagues and how he wished them well in the future. And he wouldn’t ever forget them, and they meant so much to him, and …. And. Just what was he going to say? He hadn’t prepared anything. Oh he had tried certainly, and had scribbled down a few short notes, but really he wasn’t good at that sort of thing. Adam would know what to say, but it wasn’t Adam who was leaving.

  And then, of course, what about afterwards? There would be a few hand-shakes, a pat on the back. He might even get a kiss from Shirley, or Grant’s secretary. There would be good wishes from everyone, and the signing of the card. He could just imagine some of the comments. Some didn’t bear thinking about. Of course there would be the expected comments. “We’ll miss you.” “Best wishes for the future.” Things like that.