My Last - Riley & Chelle

by Melanie Shawn

  For quite a few years now he had been wanting to reach out and apologize to his Dad, to tell him that he was sorry for being a little shit, especially when what his Dad really needed was support. But, he never felt right having a conversation that important over the phone or email. That was definitely a dialogue he wanted to strike up with his Dad in-person.

  They climbed onto the cable car and sat down on the wooden bench.

  Chelle was looking down, fidgeting with her hands, “So, how does it feel to be home? I mean in the states. You’ve been overseas for a few years right?” She seemed to be nervous.

  Great. He wanted her to have a nice day, not be worried about trying to filling awkward silences. He needed to remove his head from his ass, and he needed to do it now. He needed to get real comfortable real fast, because she was obviously picking up the awkward vibe from him.

  He turned towards her and put his arm around the back of the seat, smiling casually, “Honestly, I don’t think it’s really sunk in yet. I mean, I've known this time was coming for a while now. I wasn’t even close to being tempted to re-enlist this time around, no matter what they offered me. I was definitely ready to get out.”

  “Really? You didn't like the military? I don't know where I got this impression – maybe from Jason, or maybe from Eddie – but I always thought that you loved it.”

  Riley nodded thoughtfully, “I do love...or, you know, I did love it...it had just turned into something that I didn't recognize. The whole philosophy of the young guys coming in, the way that tactics are evolving...it's more about drone strikes than hand to hand combat now, and the younger guys understand that. They recruit them that way. I don't. I've always believed that you look the enemy in the eye as you attack, at least metaphorically, if not literally.”

  Riley stared off into the distance, then shrugged, “It was time for me to put myself out to pasture,” he said with a self-deprecating smile, “Let the young bucks take over.”

  Chelle placed a hand gently over his and said lightly, “I wouldn't exactly call you ancient. Not quite yet.”

  Riley felt his pulse begin to speed up and realized that he needed to get the conversation back on more neutral ground. “Anyway,” he continued, “It still seems more like I’m on leave, you know - it doesn’t quite feel permanent yet.”

  “Yeah, that makes sense.” She smiled up at him.

  Her smile slammed into him like a Mack truck. God, he didn’t think he would ever get used to the way that smile made him feel.

  “I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I should be checking in with David,” she continued, “I keep catching myself glancing at my phone to see if he’s called.”

  Riley felt himself tense up at the mention of David’s name. He didn’t like the feeling that David’s name on her lips caused in him. It felt dangerously close to jealousy.

  Her eyes widened and she quickly added, “Not that it’s the same thing at all, you know...my relationship status is nothing compared to your military service.”

  Riley mentally forced himself to relax, she had no idea his reaction had nothing to do her comparison of their situations and everything to do with the fact the he was having a completely irrational reaction to the mere mentioning of David’s name.

  He smiled, “Actually it is the same in a lot of ways. We are both closing the door on big chapters in our lives.”

  She paused a moment, and then added playfully, “And we're both handing over the reins to 18-year-olds.”

  They laughed, relaxing as the gorgeous architecture flew by them, and the tension between them was broken.

  As they went up and over Nob Hill, Riley looked over the shimmering surface of the ocean. He had always loved water. Over the last twelve years he had seen a lot of it - oceans, seas, rivers, gulfs - and no matter what the circumstances were that surrounded him at the time, when he saw large bodies of water, he felt a sense of calm wash over him.

  But right now, sitting next to Chelle in a cable car in San Francisco, he realized that it felt a million times better seeing it with her beside him.

  He didn't think there was a whole lot that wouldn't be a million times better with her by his side.

  Damn. What had he gotten himself into here?

  He absently rubbed her shoulder with his thumb and he felt her jump a little under his touch.

  Holy crap! He hadn't even realized that he intended to touch her. It had been completely natural. If he was going to keep his hands to himself today, he was going to have to actively be monitoring himself at all times. He was just too drawn to her. If he let his guard down or relaxed even a little, he would touch her. It felt like she was a magnet that his body was drawn to.

  He placed his hand on the wooden bench and wrapped his fingers around it to anchor himself. Because no matter how much he wanted to touch her, Rachelle Thomas was off limits. Completely, one hundred percent, off limits.

  Chapter Six

  As they exited the cable car on Bay Street, Chelle was still having a tough time wrapping her mind around the fact that Riley was here, beside her. He was safe and sound, she was standing right next to him. She could reach out and touch him, although she was trying her best not to.

  There were too many nights to count, over the years since Riley had left for basic training, that Chelle had lain awake and wondered where he was. If he was okay. If she was ever going to see him again.

  She would pray that God would make sure that he got home safely. Not only physically, either, but that he would come home emotionally intact as well.

  She would catch herself casually trying to work Riley’s name into conversations and ask Eddie if he had spoken to him. At first, her brother would always tell her where Riley was and what he was doing. But once Riley had become a part of a Special Ops team about seven years ago, the updates were few and far between. Eddie not only heard from him less, he rarely knew where Riley was or how long he would be there.

  Then, a year ago, everything had changed. That was when Riley had gotten a Facebook page. Once she had seen the update in her feed that informed the world (well, all of their friends, at any rate...) that Eddie and Riley had become friends on the social networking site, she had to admit she had cyber-stalked him a teensy weensy little bit.

  Not in the hey-baby-I-wanna-hook-up way or anything. She was, after all, an engaged woman. Not to mention, that just wasn’t her style. No, she had just been checking in on him, looking at his posts and...OKAY...maybe a picture or two as well. Or maybe three. Or...maybe all forty-seven that he had either posted or been tagged in. But not all the time! Just…daily. Or so.

  She couldn't help it! Seeing him alive and well gave her a sense of peace she hadn’t realized she had been missing. But, she guessed it made sense, because not a day had gone by since he had gotten on that bus to leave for basic training twelve years ago, in which she hadn’t thought about him, worried about him, and wanted to make sure that he was alive and well...and happy. Yes, happy, too. He deserved to be happy.

  Everyone in Harper’s Crossing had always seemed to think that he was this big, infamous troublemaker. They treated him like a delinquent. But that’s not the Riley she knew. She had never understood why everyone else didn’t see what she saw.

  She heard how people talked about him all the time growing up. Of all the Sloan boys, he definitely had the worst reputation...and that was really saying something!

  She had never known much about Seth, the oldest. She just remembered him being quiet and mysterious. People always referred to him as “brooding”.

  Then there was Riley, the bad boy. He never followed rules. Between breaking and entering, getting in brawls at local bars, and “borrowing” cars to go joyriding before he was even old enough to have a license...well, he had had his fair share of scrapes with the law. People were always talking about how dangerous he was.

  But Chelle had never seen him like that, not really. Although she had to admit he had starred in many of the bad-boy-with-a-heart-of-gold fa
ntasies.

  Then there was Jason, the charmer in the bunch, who was aptly nicknamed Romeo. He had a natural charisma. Guys wanted to be friends with him and girls wanted to be with him. To the dismay of most of the female population of Harper’s Crossing, the only girl that was on Jason’s radar was his new bride Katie. Since the day he met her in kindergarten, he had been head over heels for that girl.

  Alex was next. He was the player. He went through women like most guys went through deodorant.

  And finally the youngest, Bobby. He was the strong, silent type.

  Chelle hoped that when Riley went back home, people would see him for the man he was today and not try to put him back in the box they had placed him in during his adolescence. She wasn’t holding her breath on that count, though, because Alex had been away and when he returned, everyone just expected him to be the same womanizer he was in his teens. That might be a different story, though, because so far it seemed like Alex was living up to his reputation.

  Wait, what was she doing? She was imagining a whole scenario where Riley came home and built a life, and she wasn’t even sure if Riley was planning on going back to Harper’s Crossing! For all she knew, he never planned on stepping foot there again!

  Whoa. That thought suddenly made her feel really sad. Why was that? It shouldn't matter to her...should it?

  She tried to shake off the sudden melancholy. No, it shouldn’t matter to her what his plans, now that he was out of the Marines, might be. They didn’t affect her at all. Or...they shouldn't affect her at all. Her mind knew that. Now someone just needed to give her heart the memo.

  But, now that she had started thinking about what Riley’s plans were in the future, the curiosity was driving her absolutely bonkers. Hmmmm....she would have to try to think of a way to subtly work in some reference to his future plans, hoping to get some clue as to what they might be without actually coming straight out and asking. She could be subtle. Just like she used to be with Eddie!

  Chelle looked over at him as they made their way around the crowds at Fisherman’s Wharf, trying to plot and plan her oh-so-subtle inquiry as to what the future might hold for him...and completely lost her train of thought. He was just so gorgeous!

  His light brown eyes had flecks of hidden green in them, which she had always found intriguing. Mesmerizing, really. They looked nearly iridescent in the sun. And, although she never before would have considered a jawline sexy, Riley was making her rethink that assessment. Because...yeah. His jawline was inspiring all kinds of thoughts in her mind, and not one of them was of the innocent variety. She wanted to reach out and touch it, she wanted to press her lips to it and pepper kisses up and down it...

  She was beginning to get all hot and bothered just picturing it.

  Stop! She commanded herself. She needed to stop this line of thinking immediately. Riley was being a good friend to her, to Jason, to Eddie, to Katie...and how was she repaying him? By having all kinds of naughty thoughts! Way to go Chelle, she thought, real classy.

  Okay, new plan. Distraction through conversation.

  “So Riley, now that you’re out what are your plans?”

  Oops! Hadn't she just been trying to mentally manufacture a more subtle way to go about sussing that out? Oh, well, she thought. At least Riley doesn't seem thrown by her directness.

  “Well, I'm headed back home for a week or two. You know, visit the family for a little bit. And then, after that, down to New Orleans.”

  Chelle’s heart sank. She knew it was utterly ridiculous to be disappointed that he didn’t plan on moving back to Harper’s Crossing. Still, that didn’t change the fact that she was.

  Wait a minute...he hadn’t said he planned on living in New Orleans. Maybe he just wanted to visit there.

  “For vacation? Or are you planning on staying?” She mustered every ounce of strength she possessed (and it definitely took every ounce!) in order to keep her tone sounding blasé. She knew that her whole life’s happiness did not rest in his answer...but it certainly felt like it did.

  “To live. For a while at least. A few buddies of mine from the Corp moved down there and opened a bar. I invested in it, and I'm a partner. So far I’ve just been a silent partner since I was still enlisted.”

  Chelle tried to mask the feeling of sadness that washed over her. Why did she feel like someone had just run over her dog?

  “That’s great!” She said, maybe just a tad too heartily. She pasted on her best ‘fake’ smile and started walking a little faster.

  She felt her hand being pulled and she was stopped short as Riley spun her to look at him.

  “Hey,” he said, his face etched with concern, “is everything alright?”

  Chelle nodded enthusiastically, “Yep, I’m good.”

  He did not look the slightest bit convinced as his brow furrowed and he reached out and tucked a strand of hair that was flapping wildly across her face behind her ear. “Are you sure? You seem like something’s wrong.”

  A rush of warmth raced through her as his fingers lightly brushed her neck. She closed her eyes.

  How could such an innocent gesture feel so erotic? It seemed that her body was wired to respond to even the slightest contact with his. She couldn’t even imagine what it would feel like if he really touched her.

  She felt his stare and looked up into his eyes. She couldn’t read precisely what was behind his expression, but his gaze was definitely filled with emotion.

  Why in the name of all that is holy did he have to be so perceptive?

  She had never been around any guy that had been so in tune to what she was feeling. Every other relationship that she had ever been in (which, if we were talking ‘serious’ relationships, was sadly just the one) had been nothing like this.

  If she was mad, or upset, or had hurt feelings – well, she would always have to spell it all out for David. Even after she had, he usually responded by either ignoring her, or justifying his behavior and listing the reasons why she shouldn’t be feeling the way she was.

  But not Riley. Nope. He was tuned to her like a fine instrument.

  “I’ve missed you,” she breathed. She wasn’t sure what prompted that, and she probably shouldn’t have said it. But she just needed to tell him.

  His mouth curved at the corners and a small smile appeared on his face, “I've missed you, too.”

  Her eyebrows shot up. “Really?” She wasn’t sure what she had expected him to say, but it hadn’t been that!

  Maybe he was just saying it to be nice. Yep, he had probably just said it out of politeness. It was a courtesy ‘Missed you.’

  His expression turned serious and his voice a little shaky as he leaned in and said quietly, “More than you know.”

  Chelle's mind started racing a mile a minute.

  She was having trouble processing what he had just said.

  What did he mean, ‘more than you know?' She didn’t know that he missed her at all so any amount of missing would have been more that she knew!

  She wasn’t sure about the significance of his admission, but there was one thing she was sure about: those words had definitely made her heart skip a beat.

  Chapter Seven

  As Chelle and Riley walked around Fisherman’s Wharf, Riley could honestly say he didn't know when the last time was that he had had this much fun. He loved watching Chelle interact with people. Everyone just seemed drawn to her.

  She didn’t seem to notice the effect that she had on people. To her, it probably just felt normal. But Riley had been around the world. He had met a lot of people, and he knew how special it was. He knew how special she was.

  After they had lunch, as they were walking along the pier, they passed a mom of three trying to change her infant's diaper and keep her other two little ones corralled close by. Chelle didn't miss a beat. She stopped, kneeling down and asking the young boy and girl their names and ages. Then she started talking to them about their favorite movies.

  The children were enamored of her,
of course, and when the mom had finished attending to the infant, she looked up at Chelle and said gratefully, “Thanks, you’re a lifesaver!”

  Chelle smiled and waved it off like it was no big deal before saying goodbye to her two new little friends and cooing over the baby.

  As the afternoon wore on, Riley and Chelle went into pretty much every single souvenir shop they passed. Chelle bought a pink stuffed seal for Emily, a shirt and hat for Eddie, a snow globe for Katie and several other trinkets for other friends and co-workers - and even some for long-term patients she had gotten to know in the hospital.

  She happily shopped, explaining why she was choosing each gift specifically for each person. Every time she relayed the story of why each gift had a personal meaning, her face lit up and she smiled.

  Damn, Riley thought. Her smiles were becoming like a drug to him. With every single one he felt himself getting more and more addicted.

  After their afternoon spent shopping, they sat together on a bench, gazing out at the azure blue sea. He drank coffee, and Chelle ate a caramel apple, giggling as she explained that she was able to eat it guilt-free because the apple had fiber and the nuts had protein.

  He smiled. God, she was so cute.

  Suddenly she gasped and almost choked on her 'nutritious' treat. “Oh my gosh, what time is it?” She looked at her watch, alarmed. “Your flight is…Oh God! We need to head back! If we hurry, you can make it!”

  Chelle never ceased to amaze him. He just couldn’t get over how she was always worried about other people! He knew that she was having fun, enjoying herself - but her first concern was getting him to his flight on time.

  It was a stark contrast to the women he usually dated. Well...let's be honest, he thought - 'dated' is strong term. 'Spent time with' would be more accurate.

  Those women would never have worried about him making a flight. Not in a million years! If they had thought about it at all, it only would have been in the context of trying to figure out how they could make him miss his flight. He had had girls hide his keys, hide his phone, and employ a number of other sneaky tactics if they knew he had to leave and they didn’t want him to go.