My Last - Riley & Chelle

by Melanie Shawn

  After they had eaten breakfast and Randall informed them the fix would most likely take up the ‘lion’s share of the day’, they decided to get out of there and get some air. When Riley asked Chelle if there was anything she wanted to do, her eyes lit up and she said there was one thing that she had always wanted to do, but had put off so far because she hadn't wanted to do it alone.

  So now, here they were, riding their bikes across the Golden Gate Bridge. Chelle was in front of him and he had to say - he was enjoying the view. She would look over her shoulder every once in a while and flash him her amazing smile. Every time she did his heart cracked open just a little more.

  He knew that they should probably talk about last night. He knew that she needed to know where he stood. He knew that the last thing he would ever want to do is lead her on.

  His head was still trying to convince him that things would never work out with her. But after last night, he really wasn’t sure how he could ever walk away from her.

  He loved her and she loved him. He knew that without a shadow of a doubt. Maybe a part of him had always loved her. But he was a realist and knew that love didn’t solve everything.

  His dad had loved his mom, and look how that had turned out. He had ended up alone, raising five boys. He didn’t want to end up like his dad.

  His mom had loved him and his brothers and she still left.

  Just like he had loved his Dad and brothers, but the first chance he saw, he had gotten the hell out of Dodge.

  Some people just weren’t cut out for a family and all that goes with it. His mom was one of those people. Riley had always believed that he was too. But, Chelle definitely made him wish that he wasn’t. He wished he could be her forever.

  He knew the truth though. He was damaged. She was perfect. She deserved better.

  They ended up back at Crissy Field, and together they laid out a blanket with all of the picnic stuff they had picked up once they had decided what their field trip would be for the day.

  They chatted while they ate, mainly about what the past years that they had been apart had been filled with. Riley kept things light as he told her about his time in the military. He didn’t like to let his mind go to the disturbing places he had been and things he had seen.

  She told him about nursing school and moving back to Harper’s Crossing. She really loved that town and the people that lived in it. Sadly, Riley did not share in her warm feelings for either. His experience there had not been quite as happy as hers had.

  After they finished eating they sat in comfortable silence as they looked over the bay. The water was shining. There was a breeze blowing and he was perfectly content just watching Chelle as she sat beside him. She was breathtakingly beautiful. He could get used to this, to spending his days with her, and - more importantly - his nights.

  He had to remind himself harshly that that wasn’t going to happen.

  They needed to talk. He still felt bad about that moment last night when he had asked her to tell him how she felt. He knew it was wrong, he had known it even as he had done it, but he couldn't stop himself. And now, no matter what transpired in the future, he would always have the memory of her saying those sweet words to him. He wasn’t sure what to say to her. He just needed her to know where his stood. He didn’t want to leave any room for confusion or pain when he walked away. And, make no mistake, he would walk away. This time together had been amazing, but there wasn’t a future here.

  “Chelle, we need to talk.”

  She didn’t look up at him, just quietly said, “No.”

  He didn’t really know how to respond to that. Should he just come back with 'Yes' or...? He hesitated, not sure what the correct tactic was. Before he could figure it out, though, she explained.

  “I just want this day. Just one more day. Okay?” She did look up at him then, and he saw in her eyes that she knew. She knew this was all it could be.

  He nodded.

  “I love people watching,” she said, glancing away.

  Honestly, he hadn’t really even noticed that there were other people around them. It felt like they were in their own little world whenever they were together.

  He looked up and saw an older couple walking hand in hand down the pedestrian path. He saw a young father playing catch with his son on the grassy area to their left. There was a woman on a bench down by the water, reading, and a young couple walked their golden retriever puppy on the sandy beach area.

  She nodded her head towards the older couple strolling together. “Okay,” she challenged with a smile, “what’s the story?”

  Nostalgia washed over him. He had completely forgotten that they used to play ‘what’s the story’ when they were kids down at the Riverwalk.

  “That’s Bernie and Nancy,” he said, getting into the spirit of the game, “They just celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. They were never able to have children due to an unfortunate incident that Bernie suffered while playing baseball in his youth. Suffice it to say, it involved a bat and his junk. He doesn't like to talk about it.”

  “Junk? Really?” Chelle smiled and shook her head.

  “I said he doesn't like to talk about it,” Riley replied, doing his best to keep a straight face and succeeding – except for the small smile that tugged at the edges of his mouth.

  “Miles and Velma, both widowed, met online. Their kids made their respective profiles. This is their first date.” She looked proud of herself.

  He tilted his head, giving her a knowing wink. “Mine’s better.”

  She sighed in defeat, “I know, yours always were. You have a good imagination.”

  He leaned forward, “I wanted to put that imagination to good use this morning before we were interrupted.”

  A blush quickly rose on her cheeks. He loved how she was always blushing around him. He loved seeing the physical evidence of how she responded to him.

  “Well, we still have tonight.” She smiled as she got up and swung her leg over the side of her bike.

  His pants were suddenly very tight, and it occurred to him that he had no idea how in the hell he was going to ride a bike with a raging hard-on.

  --- ~ ---

  Chelle pulled the chicken out of the oven and flipped it before returning it and closing the oven door. She set the timer for another 15 minutes. She stirred the rice as she checked on the veggies she was steaming. She wasn’t the greatest cook, but Riley had made her breakfast every day that he had been there and she wanted to return the favor.

  She knew that this afternoon, when she had put off their talk, she was only delaying the inevitable. But, why not put it off? She already knew she wasn’t going to like what he had to say.

  She just didn’t want things to be awkward between them. She didn’t want him to feel like he had to let her down easy. She wouldn’t be able to stand it if she saw a look of pity in his eyes.

  Chelle didn’t want to be 'that girl' to him. The one that got attached. The one who got clingy. The one he would have to avoid from then on.

  She had seen it happen time and time again with women and her brother Eddie. He hadn’t wanted anything serious since Emily’s mom Lacey had left.

  He had tried to date casually, but women always took it for more than what it was. She had seen him try and let them down easy, to try to be kind but firm. That worked about eighty percent of the time. But, with the other twenty percent, he had to end up being downright cruel, or to just try and avoid them at all costs. There was no other way, because they simply refused to get a clue!

  She didn’t want to have that ‘talk’ with Riley.

  WWSD (What Would Samantha Do), hmm?

  That’s it, she thought!

  Samantha would probably let him off the hook first, beat him to the punch. Proactive was always better than reactive, right? She was sure she had read that somewhere.

  Good, so the plan was to make sure that Riley knew that she was aware of the situation, which was - this was just for fun. Temporary. Noth
ing serious. She may have to backpedal a little, since she had told him several times the night before (at his insistence, but whatever!) that she loved him. Whoops!

  But, hey. He probably wouldn’t bring that up. He was a guy! If there was one thing you could count on a guy for, it was to be willing to gloss over an emotionally charged topic if it meant shortening – or avoiding – an uncomfortable, intense conversation. So she was sure that they could just sweep the whole 'I love you' thing under the rug.

  Right?

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chelle sat across from Riley trying to build up the courage to have The Talk.

  “This is amazing,” He took another bite of the chicken, “You didn’t have to do this.”

  “I wanted to.” She smiled and she immediately saw that look he got in his eye whenever she smiled. She liked that look. She was going to miss that look.

  Okay, talk time! Just start talking, she told herself. There was one tiny problem with that...she had no idea what to say. What did she remember Eddie saying to women?

  He told them he didn’t have room in his life for someone other than Emily. Yeah, well that wouldn’t work for obvious reasons.

  He sometimes reminded them that he had told them he didn’t want anything serious before they had ever hooked up the first time. Well, damn. Also not going to work, since she (like an idiot) had professed her love to him before they hooked up.

  At times, he had also used the good ole’ faithful ‘not ready for a relationship.’ Now, that one might actually get some traction. She had just gotten out of a serious relationship. It would make sense that she wasn't ready to just jump right into another one. Yeah. That could actually work.

  DAMMIT! Why did this have to be so hard? Why couldn’t she just tell the truth? You know...say something like, ‘Sure I’m in love with you, but it’s no biggie! I know that you don’t feel the same, and that's cool. But, here's the thing - I really like having sex with you...SOOOO...this friends-with-benefits thing is just fine and dandy with me.’

  If only life were that simple.

  “I can practically hear the wheels churning. What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

  “Nothing.” She smiled to try to deflect. No way was she going to fess up that she had been thinking about them.

  “Chelle.” His tone made it very clear that he was not buying what she was laying down.

  “What?” she asked innocently.

  “I think we need to talk.”

  Crap, he beat her to it. Well, since she couldn’t come up with anything to say anyway, maybe she didn't even deserve to go first. She might as well hear him out. Pssshhh.... even though she would bet her last dollar she was not going to like what he said.

  She looked up into his hazel eyes…nope, not one little bit.

  “I care a lot about you…”

  Not a good start! She wanted to crawl under the table and hide.

  “I want you to know that I wish things were different…”

  God, she wanted to throw up.

  “I wish I could be what you need, what you deserve…”

  Whoa, she needed to stop this train and fast. It was headed straight into Humiliation Station and Chelle did not plan to still be riding it when it pulled in.

  Think, think, think!

  Perfect! WWSD to the rescue!

  “What I need is just this. No strings. No expectations. I just want to enjoy our time together while we’re here.”

  Please please let it be at least a few more days, she said to herself.

  She continued, “When I go home, I return to reality. And reality is that in Harper’s Crossing, we are just old friends. You’re my brother’s best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. This is my break from reality. You are my break from reality. That’s what I need.”

  Riley was quiet. He looked as though he was battling with what she was saying. He didn’t look quite convinced that she was telling the truth.

  She was so ready for this conversation to be over! She just wanted him to drop it. Not knowing what else to do, she stood and cleared the plates.

  As soon as she did, Riley stood and started clearing the rest of the table. He looked conflicted. She hated seeing him like that. He had had enough conflict in his life.

  She wanted him to be able to look back on these few days they had spent together with nothing but fondness. Nothing but happy - or, better yet, HOT - memories.

  A bell went off in her head. Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner! That’s exactly what she needed to do! Make more memories of the HOT variety. She could do this. She could be bold.

  She stripped out of her shirt and began walking towards the bedroom door while unbuttoning her pants. She heard nothing but absolute silence behind her as he stopped clearing the table. She could feel his eyes on her.

  “I’m gonna take a shower, care to join me?” She didn’t look back, her heart was pounding out of her chest.

  She heard the clatter of plates being dropped back on the table, and then Riley's footsteps as he moved to follow.

  She breathed a sigh of relief as she realized that, in fact, this was going to happen after all. She really didn't want to leave things with Riley on this note of angst. She wanted to experience at least one last night of bone-shattering ecstasy. She wanted to put just one more memory of pleasure, of their bodies connecting, into her consciousness before this beautiful time came to an end.

  In addition to that, she felt pretty proud of herself. During their previous encounter (well, encounters – plural, if you wanted to get technical – it was four times!) Riley had been the one driving things. Now she was taking the initiative, and she liked the little rush of excitement it gave her.

  She had never thought of herself as a particularly sensual person before, or a particularly sultry one. She'd never thought of herself as being especially sexy, per se. It wasn't that she didn't have a good idea of how she looked – she realized she was reasonably attractive. She didn't have low self-esteem or anything – she liked her face, and she liked her body.

  It was just that she had never thought of herself as one of those women that exuded sex appeal. Some women just did, it poured off of them effortlessly, in waves. Like her friend Amber – that girl walked into the room, and even 90-year-old guys dropped their jaws to the ground and said, “Hubba hubba.”

  Chelle had always kinda wished she was that way. It was why Samantha was her favorite one on Sex and the City! But, since she was far more of a Charlotte in real life, she had resigned herself to the fact that it was never going to happen. She was always going to be the pretty one, the cute one – but never the sexy one.

  But now – With Riley – she felt like the sexiest woman that had ever lived. She did feel it coming off of her in waves. It was like a power that she stepped into, like a certain magic that she was only able to channel when he was in the room.

  It was the way that he looked at her, she decided. It was a hunger in his eyes as they raked over her body. It was the fact that, when Riley looked at her, he thought about sex - she could read the unabashed lust in his eyes. The fact that she saw a sexy woman reflected back in his eyes when he looked at her made her feel like that sexy woman - and she was enjoying playing around a little bit with that knowledge!

  When she walked into the bathroom, she stepped slowly and seductively over to the shower and turned it on, adjusting the water to be as hot as she could stand it. She turned to Riley and saw that he was lounging in the doorway, one shoulder leaned against the jamb, watching her with undisguised carnal interest. She smiled as she released the ponytail holder that had been keeping her hair in place. As her hair began to fall to her shoulders she shook it loose. Riley remained leaning casually against the doorway, seemingly unaffected, but when her eyes traveled down his body, she could see she had a big effect on his lower region.

  Her smile widened as she slowly peeled off the rest of her clothing and stepped into the shower, immediately positioning herself underneat
h the powerful spray of hot water, wetting down her hair and letting the steaming droplets stream over her skin.

  She slowly ran her hands back through her newly wet hair and down the length of her body, enjoying watching Riley watch her. His undivided attention and hungry gaze was turning her on more than she ever thought was possible. His eyes greedily roamed the length of her body before meeting hers, when their eyes locked she asked playfully, "I’m glad you’re enjoying the show but are you going to join me?"

  She didn't need to ask him twice. Without a word, he stripped down and had a condom on faster than she would've imagined possible. Unlike her sensual striptease, his movements as he disrobed were purely practical. He was aiming for speed, not style.

  Still, even though he was not calculating his movements to be seductive, she still got a pretty intense erotic charge from watching each piece of clothing being pulled from his body, revealing his hard and muscular physique beneath. He was perfection.

  As she watched him roll the condom onto his erection, she did not realize that a groan of anticipation had actually escaped from her throat until she saw him looking up at her, a wicked smile on his lips. Then, and only then, did she become aware enough of her surroundings to hear the sound that she was making. Until that point, she had been so caught up in the haze of lust that the sight of his body created in her mind that she might not even have noticed if they had been engulfed in one of San Francisco's famous earthquakes. She might have just mistaken it for the quaking that the sight of Riley's naked body caused inside of her.

  She couldn't help it! He was just so sexy, and the charge between them was so electric, that when she saw his bulging erection all she could think about was him being inside of her, thrusting into her again and again, until she screamed with release. The image was powerful, it caused a physical reaction in her that she had not even been aware of, and could not control.

  She smiled. The difference between this sex-image of Riley Sloan that flashed through her brain and the majority of the rest of the thousands that had proceeded it over the course of the years was that this one was about to really be happening!