“Man, after all the favors you have done for me in the past, don’t think twice about it. I’ll have it over there within the hour.”
“You’re a good man Blake. See you in a bit.”
When I got off the phone, Kim stated, “Well I’m going to clean the house.”
The house looked fine to me, but anytime we were about to have company, she would automatically go into cleaning mode.
I have to admit though, I got a little into that mode myself and went out to mow the yard.”
I had finished the yard and had started mowing our shooting range that Mike and I had built. We put up permanent targets at seven, twenty-five, fifty and one hundred yards. We also built a portable wood target for Mike to practice at three hundred yards.
As I was mowing, I had observed an older (probably from the 60’s) flatbed, three-quarter ton dark green Ford that had driven very slowly past our house four times. Now the truck stopped next to the driveway, and two individuals in the truck were looking down the driveway.
I left the mower running out of sight of the truck and slipped into the house and grabbed my Glock 27 putting it in my back pocket and walked out the front door. The two individuals who had seen me come out suddenly sped away. I walked around the house to see what they were looking at, thinking maybe there was a herd of deer out in the field that I didn’t notice while mowing.
Many times, in the past, someone would drive by and then slow down and even stop sometimes to view a large herd of deer that was out grazing on the soybeans in the back field.
I looked out in the field, and there was nothing out there. Then suddenly, it hit me. They were looking at the 500-gallon gas tank at the end of the driveway. I kept the tank locked and had solar security lights at different locations around it and all the buildings including the house itself.
I also had perimeter alarms set up at the driveway entrance and at the garage, which also covers the gas tank. They would pick up any movement of someone or something at those locations and set off an alarm in the house. A couple of times they had awoken us in the middle of the night because the neighbor’s horses got out and came up to our place, I guess to see our horses.
Years earlier, there was a rash of thefts going on in the area. One night, I just happened to wake up and caught a couple of guys in the process of loading one of the boy’s dirt bikes into the bed of their truck. As soon as they saw me, they sped off so fast that the dirt bike flew out of the back of the truck. I shot in the air three times while they were driving off and after that, we didn’t have too many problems.
Still, the Sheriff’s office was 13 miles away and at night, Cass County only had a few deputies patrolling the entire county. So, that’s when I decided to set up the lights and perimeter alarms.
In the past, when thinking of different scenarios, I knew the gas tank would need to be kept a close eye on, but with everything happening for real, so quickly, I had forgotten all about it.
“This is definitely going to be a concern.”
Just then Blake pulled into the driveway. After telling him about the guys in the truck, he responded, “That doesn’t surprise me. We’ve had a strange vehicle driving up and down our road late at night as well. I think it’s only going to get worse.”
We set up the trailer about 30 yards to the east of the house.
“Blake, I can’t thank you enough for this.”
“Hey, it was just sitting in my driveway taking up space. You keep it as long as you need it. Now, I had better get back because I don’t like leaving the house for too long these days.”
“If you have any problems over there, don’t hesitate to call me. I’ll be there in 5 to 10 minutes.”
Kim came out as Blake was leaving, “I just got off the phone with Carmen. They’re still being told the same story about the fuel. She sounded really scared though. I calmed her down the best I could, but I think she really wanted to talk to you,” Kim smiled, “She needed to hear her knight’s voice.”
“Yeah, Yeah! I wish you’d stop saying that,” even though I knew she wouldn’t. “I have to admit though, I’m a little worried about them, and the fuel’s going to cost them a lot more than they were told. Aviation fuel is a lot higher than gas for a car. We may have to end up driving down there to pick them up.”
“Vince, I’m serious. I think you ought to call her back as it will make her feel a lot better,” I looked at her puzzled just because of the way she was acting. She continued, “I promised that I wouldn’t tell you this because we didn’t want you to start acting odd, but under the circumstances and with everything happening the way it is, I think it’s time.”
“What?” I asked a little frustrated trying to get to the bottom line.
“You just don’t see it, do you? Can’t you see that Carmen is starting to care for you a lot more than just close friends?”
I was stunned. There’s no way she could feel that way for me. Sure, I knew we had a special relationship, but actually developing stronger feelings for me?
“Bullshit! You’re crazy! How can you even say that?”
Kim laughed, “Well, number one, anyone other than you can tell it by just watching how she acts around you. And number two, she admitted it to me.”
“What? When?” I questioned. This situation was starting to scare me a little. Where is Kim going with this?
“Their last visit. I can tell you the exact conversation, almost word for word. Remember when you took Mia out to the range to practice shooting?”
“Yeah, I think so. Was it when you and Carmen were on the patio tanning.”
“That’s right. Carmen went in to change into her bathing suit, but she didn’t come out for some time. I went in to see what was taking her so long and I could hear music playing in their bedroom. She was playing “Run to You” by Whitney Houston. I walked up to the door, and she was just staring at your picture crying. You know that picture of the four of us on the beach? Anyway, I stood there until the song was over, then cleared my throat, which made her jump out of her skin.
I asked, “You have it bad for him, don’t you?”
“Who?”
“Don’t play dumb.” She started to open her mouth, and I continued, “And before you answer, remember, the reason I trust you so much is because as far as I know, you’ve never lied to me. Don’t start now.”
She started to panic and said, “Kim, this is not a threat to you. I would never betray you that way. I’d never do anything behind your back.”
I looked at her a for a moment, “So, you are falling for him?”
She started crying, “Yes, but not like you may think.”
“I’m not thinking anything, yet … How long have you realized it?”
“It started about a week after he saved me from those jerks up at the casino. I thought it was just a little hero worship, you know just because he saved me, but it just kept growing.”
That’s when she broke down crying and kept saying, “But Kim, I would never hurt you like that. Please, I love both you guys. I don’t want you to hate me.” She then paused, looked down, and timidly said, “Kim, what you think of me is very important to me. I really mean that.”
That’s when I felt bad for her and went over and gave her a hug.
If it had been anyone else but Carmen, I would probably have a problem with it, but I just couldn’t with her. I mean, Mia and Carmen are very special to us. We do have a bond for some reason. Even though I consider Carmen a dear friend, I feel a little closer to Mia and in the same way, you and Carmen have that same bond, but in Carmen’s case, her feelings kept growing.
After I thought about it a while, I realized it would be stupid of me to be mad because she’s developed some deeper feelings for you. She can’t help how she feels. The heart does what it wants to do. I know you’d never be unfaithful to me and I honestly believe that Carmen wouldn’t betray me.
Speaking strictly as a woman, do you know how many women ruin their lives because of jealousy
? Once they let jealousy possess them, I guarantee they are the ones that end up chasing off their husband or boyfriend. They can try to blame everyone else, but when it comes down to it, they’re the ones that ruined their relationship, and all because of obsessive jealousy.
Why would I want to lose my best friend in you and a dear friend in Carmen? I don’t want her out of our life, and I know you don’t. So why would I want to sabotage our happiness? Because of pride and control? That would be insane. I love and trust you, and I trust Carmen. That’s all that matters.
Vince, I’m very secure in our relationship. I know how much you love me, and we both know it was God that brought us together. Am I going to doubt our relationship now because her feelings have grown for you? I trust you more than that. Plus, would you love me as much as you do if I was one of those women that every time a good-looking woman past by and her husband glances at her, she becomes jealous and suspicious? That’s not how you and I are. If we were, we wouldn’t be as close to each other as we are.
Also, as I stated, I consider Carmen, a dear friend. What kind of person would I be if, all of a sudden, I wanted to cast her out of our lives? Like I said, I’m not that insecure. I pray to God that I’ll never be that way. Those are the kind of people I can’t stand. They treat their spouse like property, not the love of their life. What’s so different now, anyway? She’s the same person. She’s just developed feelings for you. If I needed to worry about your love for me just because of that, that would mean we weren’t that close in the first place, and I know better than that.”
I stood there, still stunned, and then after a short pause, she continued. “But I did have to find out if I could trust her. So, I looked her right in the eyes and asked, “Have you ever had thoughts about what it would be like to have sex with him?”
This time she looked at me with a lot of panic on her face, so I cocked my head, meaning, “Don’t you lie to me.”
She finally said, “Yes, I’ve thought about what it would be like before, ... but Kim, I would never do that to you, I promise, and we both know Vince wouldn’t either.”
I thought about it a moment and then replied, “Ok!”
She looked at me with a very puzzled look, so I chuckled saying, “I’m not saying ok to you having sex with my husband, of course, but if you would’ve told me you’ve never thought about it, I would know you were lying, and I would never be able to trust you. But, by you admitting it, I realize I can trust you. It’s all about honesty.”
She sat there and thought for a minute and then reached up and gave me a hug and said, “I love you Kim. I promise, I would never seriously think about anything like that, and I won’t let him know that my feelings have grown this way.”
I told her, “Well, I think that’s a good idea. I wouldn’t tell him but not for the reason you may think. If you tell him how you feel, it will change things. He’d feel guilty, he’d change his behavior, and he’d be doing it to try to prove to me that he would never be unfaithful. I know he loves you. You’re very special to him but if you tell him flat out, trust me, he’ll change, and I don’t think either one of us would like that.”
“No, I don’t want things to be any different.”
Kim then formed a sly smile and continued, “The curiosity got the best of me, and I had to ask her.
“Carmen, why Vince? I mean, I know why I fell in love with him, but that was years ago. You could have any guy you want. I mean with your looks, your personality and my gosh, you even have money. Again, why do you want to hang out with Vince?”
She had a painful look on her face and said, “Kim, I almost feel like an evil person talking about this to you.”
“No, go ahead. I’m just really curious.”
“I’ve thought about this a lot, and it’s like I don’t have any control over it. I’ve never been into older men. The oldest guy I dated was only five years older than me. I’ve even dated guys younger than me. You’ve heard me speak of Carlos before; you know the relief pitcher for the Dodgers? Well, he was three years younger than me. What I didn’t tell you was he asked me to marry him…but after a year or so though, I realized what he wanted was a “trophy wife.” Someone to sit in the stands and cheer for him and then stay at home when the team was out on the road. Oh, and if I even said hi to another ball player or any guy, he would become obscenely jealous. He acted as though I was his property. Can you imagine living with someone like that? Anyway, the relationship ended up ugly.
As far as my feelings for Vince goes, the more I tried to fight it, the worse it got.
Remember that long period of time when I told you guys that I had to stay in L.A. because of all the photo shoots they had scheduled? Well, that was only partly true. The real reason was, I was fighting these feelings. I just didn’t know what to do, and I sure didn’t want to lose what the four of us have together.”
She started to cry again and said: “Oh man, I’m so sorry Kim, I’m screwing up everything for everybody.”
I calmed her down again saying, “No you’re not Carmen. You're just being honest about your feelings. I mean, I’m really not surprised. We have a unique relationship. Is my response typical? No, but I trust Vince, and I trust you. You just always tell me the truth, and we won’t have a problem and to be honest, I don’t want to lose what all of us have together either.”
She looked at me with that sweet smile of hers, “Are you sure Kim? I feel so terrible about this.”
“Carmen, relax. Like I said, as long as you’re always honest with me, we’re fine. Anyway, it may be fun watching Vince handle all of this….. Now tell me, what do you find so appealing about him?”
She could see I was sincere, and replied, “Well first, he’s so genuine. You can feel the love from him. I can feel his love for you. I don’t know; I just feel safe and content when I’m around him.”
She laughed a little saying, “I know this is going to sound lame, but I do love the way he talks about living life with honor. You were the one that said, if Vince gives his word, you can take it to the bank; it’s so true. There are just very few like him. He doesn’t put on any shows to try and impress people. He’s just himself.
God, I can’t believe I’m saying this stuff to you.”
I then told her, “I understand what you’re saying. Much of what you said is why I fell in love with him. He does have a way about him, doesn’t he?
But trust me, he has an ego, and he tries to impress. Just not in the same way a lot of other people do.”
“Kim, I fought this. I really did. That’s why you caught me crying. I do care for him, but I know I can never have more than we have now. So, I decided I would accept that fact and just spend as much time around you guys as I could. It’s nice to be around a man you can look up to and trust. Like I said when I’m around him, or both of you, I feel safe, and I can be myself. I don’t have to keep my guard up. I feel free and at peace. Even having this conversation would be impossible with anyone else. That’s why I love you so much.”
I laughed and asked, “Yeah, but not in the same way you care for Vince, is it?”
She just got an embarrassed smile on her face.
Then she continued, “After a while, I learned to chew guys up and spit em out the second they treated me badly. I got tired of being burned and lied to. Especially in the Hollywood area, no one is truly honest. Everybody is out for themselves and what they get out of life. Vince is not that way. I know this is lame, but Vince is just so sweet.”
I laughed when she said that and I was honest with her. I told her, “Yes Carmen, he is, but he can be an asshole sometimes. You just haven’t seen it. He’s got a temper, especially when he feels someone has betrayed him or lied to him, and he can be downright vicious to an enemy. He also can’t stand self-righteous people that think they have the right to judge others. He won’t put up with them.
Vince, well, really both of us, are the kind that we may not like someone’s behavior or attitude, but as long as it’s not a
ffecting us, our family, or friends, or even some innocent stranger, it’s none of our business. We don’t have the right to judge them. Now, if they’re hurting someone or their actions could affect our way of life, then that’s another thing.
I know you already knew that part about him, but I wanted to let you know that Vince does have a temper and when he’s in his soldier mode, he’s not necessarily the sweet guy that you know.
He does make a person feel safe, though. He’s always trying to protect me, and he does the same for you and Mia as well.”
She smiled, “I know he does,” Then after a pause and with a serious look, she said, “Kim, I want you to know I’m not trying to steal him from you and I’ll never betray you.”
I gave her a hug, “Just be yourself, ok?”
She nodded her head and that’s when we came back out and started tanning.”
Kim said all of this and then waited for me to respond. I sat there with my mouth open. I was stunned.
“Vince, let me put it this way. I realized that she wasn’t a threat. I love and trust you. I love and trust her. I’m not going to condemn her because she adores you and her feelings kept growing for you.”
She then just looked at me with a sweet, tender smile on her face.
I stood there still in shock. I wasn’t sure what to say or how to even react. Finally, I muttered, “Well maybe I should discourage it and start avoiding her. You know, put a stop to it.”
Kim, showing some anger, “Oh no you won’t! Didn’t you hear what I just said? That would crush her and break her heart, and that would change everything with all of us.”
She then calmed right back down, “I want you to be yourself. I want Carmen to be able to be herself and trust me if it bothers me, I’ll let you and Carmen know, and there will be no doubt in anybody’s mind. So, until that time, just be yourself.”
She then paused and laughed, “For the meantime, Mia and I will have some fun with all this. It’s going to be fun watching you two maneuver through this. To be honest, we’ve already been having fun with it.”
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