Apocalypse Coming

by William Dunaway

  She paused, cleared her throat again and continued, “I love you Vince.

  Now, I know we can’t have what I would want in a different reality, and I know this is the most I can ever expect. Like I said, I’d never do anything that would hurt Kim. I love Kim, and she’s been so good to me. She has taught me a lot, and I consider her one of my best friends. I would never betray her.

  I also know how in love you are with her, and you wouldn’t do anything that would hurt her like that.

  But with the way the world is going, I just thought it was time you knew how I really feel about you. I love you and always will.

  Now, I pray that this doesn’t cause you to change any. I know we’ll never have more than we do now but I’m willing to make that sacrifice of not having you completely as long as I can be a part of your life.

  Trust me; I know what some people probably think and say, and I don’t care. All I care about is what Kim and you think. Anybody else’s opinion is irrelevant. They need to worry about their own lives, not everyone else’s. Anyway, people like that don’t understand what love, trust, and respect truly are. They think everyone should think and live like they do, whether they’re miserable or not.

  I also want you to know that Kim and I had a long talk about this. I’ve also talked to Mia several times and believe it or not; she understands how I feel and supports my decision. She told me that as long as Kim didn’t have a problem with it and it made me happy, then she didn’t see a thing wrong with it.

  My sister, on the other hand, thinks I’m a nutjob but I know she’s just watching out for me.

  She then paused for a few moments, and a serious expression came over her face, “Now if I would’ve seen even a hint that Kim had a problem with this, I would’ve just disappeared. I truly mean that.”

  Then with a sigh, she continued, “Before I talked to Kim about it, I wanted to tell you about a hundred times, but I was scared it would change things. Then, when I talked to Kim, I was convinced it would change you and I don’t want that.

  Like I told Kim, what the two of you think of me is very important and I don’t want to mess things up. Again, the only reason I’m telling you is who knows how things are going to be a week from now.”

  Then, after another short pause and with panic in her voice she pleaded, “Now, please don’t allow this to cause any distance to come in between us. PLEASE! I don’t want things to be any different. I just wanted you to know the truth.”

  She stopped suddenly, paused a few moments, and said, “Now you can talk.”

  I rode for a couple of moments, then stopped Lucky and turned towards her.

  “Carmen, I want you to know that you are very special to me … but I won’t ever let these feelings come between Kim and me.You know how much I love and cherish her. She is very special and almost one of a kind.

  You know, Kim just recently told me that you admitted to her how you felt about me. She told me while you guys were flying out here. She also told me that she suggested that you not tell me how you felt because she felt it would change me and cause me to be uncomfortable around you and she was right. At the time, I wouldn’t have known how to act, and out of guilt, I would’ve avoided being alone with you. But I’ve had a lot of time to think about this.

  I agree with your sister. I think you’re nuts for feeling the way you do about me. I mean, you could have almost any guy you want.”

  She started to fire up and to tell me to quit saying that, but I stopped her and said, “Now you be quiet and let me talk.

  As I said, I’ll never understand how you can love me so much, but I can’t deny how special you are to me. And it’s not because of your looks or personality, even though that sure drew my attention. But I can feel your love, and you’re a part of our life, and I don’t want to lose that, and Kim feels the very same way. Kim trusts you, and she trusts me. She doesn’t feel challenged or threatened by our feelings. I think maybe the reason why is, she’s been a part of it as it developed. She knows that nothing was going on behind her back, and a lot of the reason is because it’s you. She even told me, if it was anyone else, she would have a serious problem with it. But because she trusts and loves you so much, she doesn’t.”

  With sudden disgust starting to come into my attitude and tone, I continued, “As far as what other people think, I can tell you that neither Kim or I give a damn. It’s nobody else’s business. We’re not breaking any of God’s laws or doing anything behind Kim’s back. Anyone that would think differently is just being self-righteous.

  Do you know, there are 128 scriptures in the bible condemning judging other people and being self-righteous? Christ made it pretty clear that we don’t have the right to do that. Sure, we have the right to evaluate people whether we want them to be a part of our lives, but we don’t have the right to judge them for their personal decisions. People that do judge others, in reality, think they’re superior. As you said, those people need to worry about their own lives and not stick their noses in everyone else’s. Those are the kind of people that are just full of hate, and they’re the kind that we didn’t have anything to do with. Those that claim to be Christian and use it to justify their hate, are the ones that give Christians a bad name, and someday they’ll have to answer for it.

  Anyway, with everything that’s happened, we don’t have to worry about those type of people any longer. If we ever allow more people into our group and they turn out to be that way, they’re out of here. I’ll hand them an MRE and a bottle of water and tell them to hit the road. I know that sounds cold-blooded but people like that just bring disharmony. Nothing will cause division among a family, or a group, faster than some self-righteous gossip, and that’s all they really are….gossips!...... And don’t get me started on those that have the audacity to try and use the name of God to justify their self-righteousness. I won’t put up with people like that.”

  I paused for a moment realizing that I was really getting fired up. So, I regained my composure and cleared my throat.

  “Sorry. Nothing pushes my button faster than those type of people. I’ve just seen too many of them.”

  She laughed, “You don’t have to apologize to me. I feel exactly the same way.”

  Now, as far as our relationship goes, knowing this isn’t going to change me. If anything, we’ll be a little bit closer.

  I’m really happy you told me and that I was able to tell you. The world is going to hell, and honestly, I don’t think it’s coming back. I honestly believe this is the beginning of the book of Revelations going on but if you really want to make that sacrifice and we stick to our guns, knowing this will only make us closer.”

  She teared up and with that famous smile of hers and said “Thank you. I wanted to tell you so badly, but I was scared it would mess things up. I feel like a ton of weight is off of me now.”

  I then chuckled, “You do know that I’ll tell Kim all of this, don’t you?”

  “I knew that before I started and I’m glad because that means after you tell her, I can talk to her about it as well.”

  Then after a long pause, she looked at me and very sincerely said, “I want you to know that if I found out that the world was coming to an end tomorrow, I’d just be grateful for the last couple of years; the time with you and Kim…and every moment I got to spend around you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  When Carmen and I got back, I immediately went back to blading the runway that we’re building. I was anxious to start using the airplane for reconnaissance. We’d be able to check the nearby towns and cities, with a lot less risk. We’d also be able to spot supplies that we could use. Maybe something like a Walmart truck that had been abandoned.

  As I was working, Paul and Mike had awakened and came walking out to me to see when I would be done with the tractor. Mike had an idea.

  He wanted to dig the spider holes but with the hard ground, digging with a shovel would be backbreaking.

  “How far away are you from being done
?”

  “I’m pretty well done now. Why?”

  “You know how we need the spider holes? Well, I thought that we’d use the bigger auger on the posthole digger to dig them. Two or three digs from it will make 90% of the hole, and then we can just trim it up.”

  “That’s genius. Good job. Get on, and we’ll go do that.”

  Paul and Mike got on the fenders, and I drove over to Mo and Tag.

  “It looks like you guys are almost done. Hell of a job!” I said.

  Mo replied, “Yeah, it went better than we thought. We threw a chain once but no real problems. At least we got a good head start on cutting the firewood.”

  “Yeah, we can hook the log splitter to the jeep and bring it out here. We can cut and split at the same time.” Tag commented.

  “Outstanding!” I then told them Mike’s idea, and Mo gave us a thumbs up.

  We drove up to the house, switched augers on the post hole digger and put it on the tractor.

  Within an hour, we had dug twelve spider holes. Two for each corner of the perimeter that Mike had laid out and one on each edge. After that, Mike and Paul grabbed some shovels and started trimming them up. By the time they were done, every hole was perfect for a rifleman to stand in and stay pretty well concealed.

  Even though August weather is pretty stingy with the rain, we did have to worry about any downpours that may come, and these needed to last for several months. A heavy rain would fill the holes with water. So, Paul came up with the idea of making a small mound of dirt around the top of each hole and then use a weighted piece of plywood to set on top of the mound. It wouldn’t keep all the water out, but it would stop a lot.

  For the rest of the day, Kim and the girls worked the garden and then cut up and canned all the green beans they had picked.

  Wit and Red made a couple of runs and came back with 40 gallons of gasoline, four car batteries, and found a man that had 100 new 2x4s and 35 sheets of new plywood. He was willing to trade the wood for 120 rounds of M-4 ammunition, two cases of green beans, 8-quart jars of deer meat, and two oil lanterns and a bottle of oil.

  Wit, Red, Tag, and I drove over to the man’s house and made the trade, with the stipulation that we would get the canning jars back. I wasn’t too concerned with the man not keeping his word as there were several items we showed interest in and said we would gladly trade more deer meat in the future.

  Due to the weight of the wood, we had to make two trips to pick up it all up. By the time we got done, it was 6:00. As usual, Kim and the girls had dinner waiting for us. Burritos with homemade tortillas, Spanish rice which Mia made, and fresh milk from the neighbors.

  After dinner, we were all sitting in the living room, exhausted. Lulu asked if we wanted to play a game and Mo said, “Not tonight Lu. I think everybody is too tired.” Lula had a sad look come over her.

  I looked around at everyone’s faces. We all looked like we just ran a 10-mile marathon in the heat. I realized that everyone had worked their tail off the last couple of weeks and no one complained about it, so I made a decision.

  “You know what. I just realized that except for Lulu and the other kids, none of us have really used the pool yet. So tomorrow, everyone is taking the day off. We’re going to have a pool party, and if you don’t like to swim, you can do whatever you want but no work.”

  There was stunned faces and silence for a couple of moments until Lulu yelled, “Yes! A pool party!” Everyone broke out in cheers and comments saying thank you.

  “I don’t want anyone talking about work or even thinking about it. Tomorrow is a party and rest day.

  Wit said, “Well, with one exception. I told the Jones’ that Brandy and I would be down tomorrow to check on her foot. We were going to do it when we took them dinner.”

  “Ok, that’s understandable, but besides that, I want you guys to have some fun.”

  “Mike, starting tonight, I want the night watch cut down to four hours. I know it’ll take two extra people to do it, but in the long run, everyone will get more rest. By the way, put me on the 2nd shift tonight.”

  “No problem, I was planning on changing the shift to that when we implemented the road guards but consider it done tonight.”

  “Ladies, tomorrow you guys aren’t cooking. I’ll get up and fix breakfast for everyone and then for lunch, we’ve been saving some KC Strips for a special occasion. Well, I think this is it. I’m not worth a damn at it, but I’ll grill the steaks.”

  Mo jumped in, “I have you covered buddy, I love grilling.”

  “Good because I suck at it.”

  Tag rubbed his hands at Lulu and said, “Do you like steak?”

  “I love it,” she responded and started rubbing her hands together as well.

  “I think we even ought to make Margaritas too. They may not be frozen Margaritas, but they’ll have ice.” I stated.

  Everyone cheered about that also and then there was a steady chatter of voices.

  I saw a sparkle in everyone’s eyes that wasn’t there 5 minutes earlier.

  Carmen asked, “What about the farm patrol on horseback?”

  “Nope. If anyone wants to horseback ride, that’s fine, but in this heat, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to give them the day off as well.” I formed a sly smile, “You only have one job tomorrow, Carmen.”

  She knew I was up to something, but after giving me a very suspicious look, she asked, “What’s that?”

  I tried to say it seriously but started laughing, “You get to show everyone why you were a top swimsuit model.”

  Carmen’s face turned four shades of red this time, and she acted so embarrassed. Kim and Mia both broke out in heavy laughter, and Mia said, “Look at her face.”

  Kim continued to laugh, “Carmen, you had pictures of you taken on television and several magazine layouts. Why are you so embarrassed?”

  Carmen, in a low voice, said, “Well, it’s different in front of all you guys,” she looked directly at Tag and Wit, “The cameramen don’t whistle and make comments like I know you guys will.”

  Wit and Tag both gave a look like, “Us. We wouldn’t do anything like that.”

  Mo burst out with his famous laugh, looking at their expressions.

  Then Carmen said, “Maybe we ought to put Vince into a Speedo.” Everyone laughed and started making comments.

  I just sat there and acted completely normal and said, “Make sure you do it after eat because I’m sure that sight will ruin everyone’s appetite.”

  That’s when the laughter really got out of control, and I heard Tag say, “Ain’t that the truth.”

  “Well guys, like I told you earlier, Mia and Kim aren’t slouches in their swimsuits either and Brandy, I’ve never seen you, but I’m willing to take bets that you’ll turn some heads.”

  That time Mia threw a sofa pillow at me. Brandy, on the other hand, gave me a dirty look and acted seriously offended. I stopped laughing immediately and started apologizing. We all kidded around so much; I didn’t even think about her getting offended.

  Suddenly, Brandy burst out laughing, “I got you. Oh, your face was priceless,” she kept on laughing, “I was only kidding.”

  I blew air out of my mouth in total relief.

  Mo spoke up, “Angela can hold her own as well.” We were all shocked as we didn’t know how Angela would react, even with Mo saying it.

  Angela acted totally normal as well and came back with, “Carmen, when you find that Speedo for Vince, get an extra one for him.” Again, the laughter continued.

  After talking awhile, everyone that hadn’t taken their showers did so and headed off to bed.

  When Kim and I went to the bedroom, she looked at me, smiled, and gave me a kiss.

  “What was that for?”

  “For reading everyone well enough, to see that your idea was exactly what everyone needed.”

  “They did seem to perk up a bit, didn’t they?

  Listen, I need to tell you something. Carmen and I had a heart to heart tod
ay. She admitted to me how she really felt about me. She said she finally wanted to tell me the truth because of everything that’s going on.”

  “I’m not surprised. That would be hard to keep bottled up inside all the time.” She paused, “Did you tell her how you feel about her?”

  A great stabbing of guilt hit me, “Yes.”

  She looked at me, seeing the guilt I was feeling in my face, “What’s wrong, feeling a little guilty? Did you realize that you had stronger feelings for her than you thought?” She chuckled a bit and then continued. “Are we going to have to go over all of this again? Listen, did you make love to her?”

  “No!”

  “Did you passionately kiss her?”

  “No!”

  “Why not? You certainly had the opportunity.”

  “Well, because, I’d never do that. You know me better than that.”

  “Exactly! Do you think Carmen would’ve if you would’ve come on to her?”

  I thought for a moment, “I really don’t think she would’ve. If I would’ve passionately kissed her, she may have kissed me back, but I don’t think she would allow us to go any further than that.”

  “I know she wouldn’t have. She would’ve wanted to, but she wouldn’t have allowed it to go on. Now, one last question. You’ll have to use your imagination on this one. Let’s say, it was six months ago and you and I would’ve had a major fight. I mean a knockdown, hateful, feeling hurting fight. You know, the kind that we had a couple of times back in the “hell years,” where we acted like we hated each other during the fight.

  Now at the same time, Carmen calls you and admits she’s in love with you and wants you to run away with her and all her money. Would you have run off with her?”

  I smiled and acted like I was fantasizing about it, “Well……, let me sit here and daydream about it a while, or should I say lust?”

  She laughed, “The point is, I know you wouldn’t have and I know Carmen wouldn’t either.”

  “You’re amazing, do you know that?”

  “I’ve been trying to tell you that for years.”