Survival Instinct- Forces of Change

by Sandi Gamble

  Dedicated to my wonderful husband Shaun who makes all things possible.

  For Humanity

  SURVIVAL INSTINCT

  FORCES OF CHANGE

  SANDI GAMBLE

  SURVIVAL INSTINCT – FORCES OF CHANGE

  Published by Ambitions Publishing 2018

  Copyright © 2018 Sandi Gamble

  All rights reserved.

  This is a work of fiction. Characters, names, places, brands, media, incidents and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is unintentional and co-incidental.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission from both the copyright owner and publisher.

  Original cover concept by Karen Baumanis

  Book cover design and formatting by Book Cover Cafe

  ISBN:

  978-0-9922846-3-3 (pbk)

  978-0-9922846-5-7 (hbk)

  978-0-9922846-9-5 (ebk)

  Visit: http://www.sandigambleauthor.com

  CONTENTS

  CHAPTER ONE

  The Event

  CHAPTER TWO

  The Academy

  CHAPTER THREE

  The Academy/Aptitude

  CHAPTER FOUR

  The Academy/Aptitude

  CHAPTER FIVE

  A “Visit” to the Past

  CHAPTER SIX

  The Purge

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Advanced Combat; Occupational Test

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  That Day, and What Ensued

  CHAPTER NINE

  The Ministry Meeting

  CHAPTER TEN

  What about them?

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The Mission

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  The Truth

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Survivors

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  The Negotiations

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Talking with Her Heart

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Important Events

  Other Books by Sandi Gamble

  More about Sandi Gamble

  CHAPTER ONE

  THE EVENT

  Even now, all these years later, I can still feel the sensation just as I felt it that day. The terror is buried deep in the marrow of my bones, though to show fear would be weak, even after all that has happened, I still find myself reaching out for Jace’s hand and not finding it. You’d think that time would have tempered these things, these memories and feelings. Perhaps it has. But coming back here… has brought it all back to me. Confusion sets in as I try to sculpt two worlds into one. It is so strange, to be sitting here now, in this place. This very place. For all this time, I had considered this place to be a sacred place. A holy place. A once innocent sanctuary where many times Jace and I had spent time together. Often, I had considered making a pilgrimage here, but I never found the… the what? The courage? The will? Only heartache.

  Whatever had been lacking in me simply remained lacking… until now.

  So strange. My memory of that day still seems so fresh, yet the day itself seems distant and unreal.

  With mixed feelings, I entered this place with trepidation. I had longed to return each and every day that had passed. In so many ways, I considered it my spiritual “home”. And yet I could not feel “settled” here. I paced back and forth like an animal. I was edgy. Skittish. I felt a cloud of uncertainty and threat all around me. Every noise made me tense. Every movement made me shift my attention. Everything put me on edge. But slowly, my body began to relax. I could feel myself become more accustomed. Not safe. No, I would not say I felt safe, but I felt comfortable enough to settle myself down and sit cross-legged on the ground in the warm sand, to breathe slowly and steadily; to rest my hand protectively across my belly and to allow my thoughts to return to that day and the days that followed.

  * * *

  If I was still that girl, the girl that I was before my world was turned upside down, then perhaps I would weep. But that girl is as much a stranger to me as this place has become, as the world that I knew has also become. Recognizable and fresh to me in memory but not in reality. So my eyes remain dry as they dart back and forth, watching, watching, watching.

  “Watching for what?” I wonder as I let my gaze fall to my hands that now rest in my lap. I grip my hands into fists and study them closely. These hands… they are not the hands of a young girl; they are the hands of a warrior, calloused, torn, rough. They are scarred from the battle, and too much blood. I release my hands from tight fists and study my palms. The lines crisscrossed there tell me no secrets. Shaking my head, as if in disbelief of what had happened, I hang my hands down at my sides and comb the soft white sand next to me. The sand’s rough texture and warmth against my stiff fingers both pleases and surprises me.

  I remember the feel of this sand. So true. So real. Like every other aspect of that day. But one. There is only one piece of that day’s puzzle I struggle to find. A missing piece lost somewhere in my emotions and heart. No matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to conjure up Jace’s face.

  So much is crystal clear to me. The battles I’ve fought. The battles yet to be fought. Why can’t I see him? Why can I remember him only by his absence and not by his presence? Why does his name remain such a talisman to me and yet his face eludes me? My memory of him is wistful. I have only myself to blame, Jace had warned me. If only I were not so tempestuous. I can only remember the remembering of his face, not his face itself.

  As my body continues to relax, my weariness takes over. I am so tired. My head feels as if it weighs a hundred pounds. Keeping my eyes open is an effort. Thinking is an effort. Even relaxing is a greater effort than I have the energy for! I am beyond weary and yet I cannot rest. My body aches in every muscle and joint. Even so, that ache is dwarfed by the ache in my heart. My longings and memories torment me.

  I can hardly stand the burden I carry and yet I know I will not be free of it, not as long as my days stretch forward into the future.

  Look at my legs! Scarred and bruised, covered in dried mud, my skinny legs might still be mistaken for the legs of a young girl. But they will never again belong to a young, innocent girl. And the bruises and still open wounds will take time to heal, perhaps more time than I have left. Who knows what the future now holds for me?

  The snap of a limb above me gains my attention. Although I cannot see anything there, my body is once again on high alert. I cannot stay here any longer. I cannot stay in any one place long. Not if I am to survive. And survive, I must. For I am not the only one who has suffered. I am not the only one who has lost. I am however the one who has broken every sacred law that I am obligated to uphold as a global citizen.

  I am not the only one for whom innocence is a distant, mocking memory.

  For we have all lost and sacrificed much in the pursuit of our goal, our goal together as a global community.

  I am also not the only one who has lost the man that I loved. I am simply one of the very last who might be able to still act.

  * * *

  We have not properly met. My name is Arianna, Arianna Vay. But I go by Ari. Six years ago, when the world changed, I had just turned twenty-one. I felt then no different than a child. Now, at twenty-seven, six long years since, there are moments when I feel like I might be a hundred and twenty. But it has been only six years. Only!

  When I am able to rest and think back, it is astonishing to think of the girl I was. I remember hurrying excitedly to the door at the sound of his familiar arrival. Jace
had arrived to pick me up so that we could “paint the world fantastic” as he’d so cheerily said; so we could celebrate.

  Five years before that, we had both entered Military and Further Education Studies at the Pandec Military Academy. Both graduating with honors after our thorough education, we were set to start work at the Ministry on the following Monday.

  I swung the door open with a big smile on my face. My smile widened even more when I looked over Jace’s shoulder and saw his brand new vehicle. “Oh my, Jace…” I said, my eyes widening. “It’s amazing…”

  He grinned then turned and looked behind him. “Oh that?” he said with exaggerated weariness. Then he laughed. “My parents gave it to me for graduation,” he said, clearly more than a little pleased by his gift. “So, m’lady, shall we?” he asked, extending his arm to me. “Your carriage awaits!”

  Jace was never one to boast about himself, but I understood how proud he must have been. The gift that his parents gave him would have required many credits. It was not something to be done lightly. However, it demonstrated how much he meant to them and how proud they were of his success. Jace respected his parents for their thoughtfulness.

  I giggled as I extended my arm into his. He could be so charming and silly when he wanted to be. Despite his absolute seriousness about his studies, and his determination to be the best he could be, Jace was absolutely fun.

  “Where to?” I asked when I was seated in the cabin.

  He glanced over at me and smiled. “I thought we might begin with a quick walk along our favorite beach.”

  And romantic. Did I mention, romantic? We had both looked forward to this day for the longest time. Our course of studies and the examination period were harrowing. There were days when we had barely enough time to glance at one another across a classroom, or a lab, or in the library where we spent our downtime hours. We would simply smile at each other and once again place our attention back on our studies.

  But we had done it! We had graduated with the highest of honors and were ready to take on the bright future ahead of us both. And the future before us did seem bright indeed. Our positions at the Ministry would allow us to accomplish all we were trained to do. We would have real responsibility and autonomy. We would no longer be interns or students.

  Jace input the destination and before long we were pushing away from the curb.

  What I did not know as Jace pulled away from the front of my house was that, in addition to the things he was carrying in his pack, he had tucked into his pocket something else, something special. He carried with him a small box that contained a wedlock ring.

  How could I have known that in his mind and heart, our celebration that day would include a proposal? Had I known, I would have understood the reason he glanced over at me the way he did, the sly smile he gave me as we headed towards our beach, and the reason why his eyes glittered with happiness and joy.

  He had such wonderful plans for that day. But his plans, like so many plans at the time, were destined not to come to fruition.

  As we walked along the shoreline, with the sea lapping at our feet, we talked about how we had come to this very beach hundreds of times since we were children. For us, it was a place of happiness and sanctuary. A place where memory returned us to when we were just children and splashing through the waves together was innocent fun. As we walked, he bent down and teasingly splashed some sea water my way.

  I laughed easily as I danced out of the way of the water.

  Everything was always so effortless when I was with Jace. So comfortable and safe. But, even in that safety, I knew something had changed. In the past months, our time together had taken on another aspect; an edge. I could not deny that when I saw him now, I no longer saw just a dear friend but someone who awakened deeper feelings in me. Sometimes, I was surprised to find myself feeling awkward around him. Other times, I felt shy and coltish. There were times I wanted nothing more than to have his hand in mine and yet other times when I shocked myself as I imagined what it might be like to kiss him!

  And then there was the evening when we did kiss for the first time.

  All these moments and hundreds of others played in my thoughts as I skipped away from him; he scooped up more of the tide as it gently rolled to the shore, laughing as he chased me and showered me in the white froth.

  “Enough!” I cried, giggling from the game. “I surrender!”

  His eyebrows arched. “Surrender?” he asked, his eyes glittering with mirth. “And what terms shall I demand?”

  I stopped giggling and, feeling suddenly serious, said, “Any that you care to make!” And I meant it. His face suddenly became serious, and then he smiled again. His perfect smile!

  If only that day could have remained as perfect as it had begun! We continued to play along the shore, laughing and talking, making plans, thinking of the future, sharing thoughts about our classes and our professors as well as what our fellow graduates would soon be doing. In short, we were imagining the world that we would inherit.

  We had learned enough to know that it would be far from perfect, but with the training we’d received we were confident that we would be able to do what was required of us to make it what we needed it to be. Our training had made it clear that the dangers were real and close by, but manageable. With vigilance and skill, we would be able to place our mark on the world that would be handed to us.

  Little did we know how foolish and short-lived that confidence would prove to be? The sun shone down on us as we continued to walk along the familiar shoreline. But then, in a turn that will forever cause a chill to form in my soul, the sky suddenly clouded over.

  This then was the day, the day the earth – our world – changed; the day that the world as we knew it was taken away.

  “Was there a change in the forecast?” I asked Jace lightly, hearing in my own voice a hint of fear. “I thought it was to be sunny all day.”

  Jace pressed his hand against his eyes, shielding them from the sharp shafts of sun glare showing between the rapidly gathering clouds. “No,” he said. “I checked just before I left my house. There was no suggestion of clouds…”

  His voice trailed off as if we both understood that, forecast or no, these were not ordinary clouds.

  “What is happening?” I cried out. “Jace!”

  He turned to me. “What is it, Ari?” he asked, as he gripped my hand tighter.

  “Look!” I shouted, staring out toward the ocean.

  I don’t know if he started to speak, but if he did, what presented itself to us at that moment choked back whatever he might have said. Not ten minutes earlier, we had been frolicking in the gentle surf. The sea-blue waters struck the soft sand and turned to foaming white bubbles. But now, as the sky above us darkened, the color of the sea did as well. Far from the beautiful sea-blue it had been, the ocean became an angry blood red.

  “What is happening? What does it mean?” I asked Jace.

  It would not be the last time I would cry out those questions, nor the last time my questions were met with dumbfounded silence.

  Neither of us knew what any of it meant, only that from the moment of its outset, it filled us with fear and trembling. Only Jace’s presence next to me kept me from bolting from the shore, although in which direction and for what purpose I could not have said. All I knew was that I wanted to run, run as fast and as far as I was able. But contrary to that desire, my feet were planted in the sand as the blood-sea rolled over them.

  I turned and looked at Jace, the bravest person I’d ever known and what I saw on his face just then shocked me. His expression was a mask of fear, of confusion; his face showed him looking out at a world turned upside down on a moment’s notice.

  Fear was not an emotion or feeling that I had much familiarity with. We did not inhabit a world that evoked fear. Our world was safe, protected, controlled.

  At least, it had been.

  “What’s happening, Jace?” I screamed again.

  He was frozen, his fac
e that horrible mask, his grip on my hand so tight that I nearly cried out in pain.

  And then there was the heat. All around us, heat suddenly weighing on us like a heavy blanket.

  “Jace! Jace!” I screamed, pulling on him, dragging him further onto the beach and away from the water. “We have to go home!” I shouted. I knew that my father would know what was happening.

  But each step was a struggle. Moving Jace was like moving a stone statue.

  “Jace, Jace!” I cried, hot tears burning my cheeks. “Please!”

  What had happened to him? Why was he so frozen? Was it something within him, or was it some bitter magic in the air? And what was this crawling, unrelenting heat that seared our skin? This was not a familiar sensation at all. Climate was controlled in our world.

  I worked to calm the panic rising within me. “Think, Ari! Think!” Although there was nothing in all the books and lessons, I’d ever learned that had prepared me to understand what was happening, at least one part of my training was helpful – all the exercises that helped me not to panic! But even with all the training, I could feel that I was fighting a losing battle, this was no normal circumstance though.

  “Ari!” I shouted out loud to myself. “Focus!” I turned my attention away from the sky and the sea and looked directly at Jace. “Breathe!” I shouted at him. To my great relief, he seemed to respond. His chest rose and fell a bit more rhythmically. Somehow, I managed to pull my hand from his grip. I shook my hand a couple of times to try and get the circulation moving in it. When I could feel my fingers without pain, I pressed them against his wrist, trying to assess his pulse.

  It was easily one hundred and fifty beats a minute.

  “Jace! Jace! Relax!”

  He did not seem to respond. Not knowing what else to do, I raised my hand and brought it across his face, slapping him. His cheek reddened slightly, but his expression remained unchanged.

  “Jace!” I grabbed him by his cheeks and pulled him toward me. I kissed his right cheek and then his left cheek. “Jace, please,” I begged. “Come back to me. Don’t leave me alone like this!”