Lost in You

by Jules Bennett

  “I don’t share bedtime stories.”

  For a moment he had no clue what she was going to say, how she was going to react. But then she stepped forward and placed her palms on his bare chest. When she tipped her head up, parted her lips, and stared at him with such intensity, Liam had to seriously concentrate on remaining perfectly still. From the corner of his eye that lace against her shoulder continued to mock him.

  “Then what would you be willing to share?” she asked.

  Anger continued to course through him. He reached up and gripped her wrists. “I’ve told you before to stop this. I’m not other men.”

  “No, you’re not. And I’m not other women. Maybe I won’t let you hide behind your past or your scars or any other part of your life that prevents you from living.”

  “Macy,” he warned with a growl.

  “What? Maybe I’m done wondering what it would be like for you to kiss me, for you to actually admit that you have an ounce of feeling for me. Maybe I deserve—”

  Liam’s mouth slammed onto hers and the second their lips collided, she melted against him.

  Not enough. Not nearly enough.

  He needed her closer. He released her wrists and framed her face as he stepped into her, lining their bodies up perfectly. Macy’s slender arms came around his waist, her fingers dug into his bare back.

  She was everything he’d fantasized about and so much more. Since coming back he’d done his share of thinking of exactly this moment and absolutely nothing in his thoughts touched the amazing reality of Macy’s kiss.

  The tip of her boots hit his feet, but he didn’t care. She was here, in his arms, and he was finally tasting her.

  Just one more second. He only needed a bit more, though warning bells were sounding in his head. A second more wouldn’t hurt.

  But then she sighed, ran her hands up his back, and threaded her fingers in his hair. Her touch was something he could get used to, and just one kiss, potent as it was, could get out of control so fast, and he would be utterly powerless to stop. He lifted his head, but one look at her closed eyes, her parted, wet lips, and Liam went back in. He wasn’t a saint, never claimed to be. He was selfish and human.

  All of the reasons this was a bad idea vanished from his mind. Macy was in his arms, kissing him, clinging to him, and any other thought ceased to exist.

  When her fingertips traveled over his shoulders, he trembled. When her hands framed his face, he jerked away.

  The second he stepped back, a chill took over. Macy stood only inches away, hands at her sides, her body taking in deep breaths.

  “This was a mistake.” One he couldn’t regret, but wouldn’t make again.

  “Kissing me was a mistake?”

  “One of them,” he confirmed, hating that he needed to be noble and brutally honest. “Moving in here was probably my first mistake. Bringing you into my room was another.”

  Slowly, Macy ran a hand across her mouth. “I see.” She jerked the knot from her flannel, loosening it from her waist. Shoving her arms back in, Macy adjusted the material around her shoulders and left it unbuttoned. “I’ll make sure not to come around again. You can just give your rent checks to Zach to pass along. He’s in the store often enough. And you may want to get Sophie started on finding you another place. She knows of several rentals, since you clearly don’t want to set roots here.”

  There was no warmth in her tone. She’d have more emotion leading a board meeting to discuss a toilet paper campaign. He’d done that to her, but he couldn’t let her leave without something of an explanation.

  He backed up, blocking the doorway. “You have to know why this is a bad idea.”

  “Do I? Because moments ago you had your hands all over me and everything felt like a great idea.”

  He’d remember the feel of her beneath his palms for the rest of his life and that would be his penance for losing control.

  “We want different things, Macy. We’re night and day.”

  Bright eyes narrowed, then she threw her arms out. “You know what, forget it. Forget I came by, forget everything that happened in here. I thought we were making headway. I trusted you and opened up to you more than anyone else. I’ve wanted to kiss you since I was sixteen. But I didn’t know how bad I would feel after. I didn’t know you’d regret it.”

  At the risk of more torture to himself, Liam reached out and grabbed her shoulders. “I don’t regret a thing that happened. I regret the fact that I can’t be what you need in your life. I regret that you had to face a monster all alone and then felt there was no one to turn to. I regret never asking you out to begin with because maybe our lives would’ve turned out differently.”

  Macy placed a hand on his chest and gave a slight push. “Everything happens for a reason. I can’t look back. I can’t let my past define me.”

  “And you think you’ve moved forward?” he countered. “Because the other night when I found you downstairs, you freaked out when I grabbed you.”

  Her eyes wavered slightly as she glanced away. “I’ll always have memories, Liam. I can’t change that, but I can’t let them run my life.”

  Risking so much, walking a fine line, Liam gripped her chin and forced her gaze back to his. “So when are you going to finish that degree and stop letting those bastards steal from you?”

  When her chin quivered, he knew he’d pushed too far. He’d crossed a line he had no right to. But damn it, she’d let some assholes rob what she’d worked so hard for. He knew she’d had a softball scholarship, so if she never returned, she’d obviously forfeited it. Yes, her mother had passed, but Liam fully believed Macy would’ve gone back to school had she not been attacked.

  The thought still sickened him.

  “Move,” she whispered. “I need to get out of here.”

  She was upset. Keeping her here was only making things worse. “I want to be your friend, Macy. I want you to know you can talk to me. I just can’t do anything else.”

  A humorless laugh escaped her lips as she swiped her damp cheeks. “A one-way friendship? I tell you everything and you keep your secrets locked tight inside? I can admit I have feelings for you and you can ignore yours? No thanks. I have enough friends.”

  When she put it in those terms and shoved his words back in his face, he had to admit she was right. He didn’t know much about relationships. He’d barely had any to refer to, but he knew that whatever was happening with Macy wasn’t over.

  “You can walk out of here, but we’re going to have to talk sometime.”

  Macy stepped back out of his hold. “If you want to talk, then do it. Otherwise we’re done. I’m not playing games with you.”

  Raking his hands through his hair, Liam wanted to get back to that punching bag. “I don’t know what to do here. I have no idea and it scares the hell out of me. Is that what you want to hear?”

  Macy jumped as his voice echoed in the room. “I just want you to be honest with me, with yourself.”

  “You don’t want honesty,” he countered. “Maybe you should go. Because if I open up with all the mess that’s in my head, you’ll wish you’d left when you had the chance.”

  A soft smile tipped up the corners of her mouth. “Or maybe you’ll find the freedom you’ve needed by letting someone else in.”

  When he said nothing, Macy tucked her stray hair behind her ears and eased past him. Liam shifted aside to let her through and waited until the door leading to the back steps opened and closed.

  Shutting his eyes and leaning against the wall, Liam pulled in a deep breath. Macy was going to shatter the little bit of sanity he had left. If he let her in, they’d form a bond he wasn’t ready for. Bonds led to relationships and he sure as hell wasn’t looking for another.

  Tomorrow he’d follow up on that call about Magnolias. Liam needed to get out of Haven and forget all about Macy. Though that kiss and the feel of her body beneath his hands might very well be permanently embedded in his mind.

  Chapter Six


  Cora stepped into the kitchen, led by her seeing-eye dog, Heidi. “Please tell me that glorious smell is something I can sample.”

  As if he could make the guests food and not have extras. Liam pulled the quiche from the oven and set it next to the fresh baked bread he’d gotten out only moments ago.

  “I’m sure I can scrounge you up a plate,” he told her, removing his pot holders and setting them aside. “Busy day planned?”

  Holding on to Heidi with one hand and reaching out with her other, Cora encountered the bar stool and easily slid on. Liam was always amazed at how well she adapted to being blind. She rarely ever asked for help and had gotten the layout of the resort down rather quickly before they ever opened.

  Braxton was quite protective of her, but with him back to teaching at the local university, he had to let her have her space. Cora was definitely an independent woman, reminding Liam of another extremely independent woman who’d walked out of his room the other night because he’d all but pushed her away.

  “This is the last day for the ladies from the church group in Charleston. I’ve got them all down for a full-body massage before they leave this afternoon.”

  Liam went to the sideboard and pulled out a plate with a floral pattern around the scalloped edges, a design Sophie had chosen. Everything about this place screamed feminine . . . which was the entire point, but still. Between the florals, the chatty, giggly ladies, and the overabundance of perfume mixtures filling the place, Liam was getting crankier by the day.

  Or maybe he was just cranky because he was so torn from too many different angles. He hadn’t seen or even heard a sound from Macy in four days.

  “Then you better eat up,” he told her as he scooped out a healthy portion of bacon and feta quiche. After he slathered herb butter on the whole grain bread, he sat her plate in front of her. “Juice or coffee?”

  “Both,” she said, laughing.

  Liam gave her all she needed before placing the individual quiches on a platter and taking them into the dining room. He made sure to keep this room just as perfect as his kitchen. Sophie had ordered cloth napkins and found some antique silverware at an estate sale. The room had tall, narrow windows adorned with bright yellow curtains tied back with a matching cloth. The old windows were the originals from the Civil War period. Zach had actually done a stellar job of restoring this home to the true value and charm it once had without sacrificing too much.

  He’d managed to salvage the hardwood floors with a sander and stain, and unsalvageable spots were easily covered with decorative rugs. Sophie had worked extra hard to find deals during home sales when people were downsizing. Braxton had even taken a semester off to aid in the renovations. Even Brock had been on board from day one.

  A tug of remorse kicked in when Liam thought of how this was a family affair. Chelsea would absolutely love how this had all fallen into place, from the home itself to the guys all working together. Another reason Liam had guilt for wanting to leave. But he couldn’t stay. This wasn’t his home and he didn’t feel like he fit in.

  After taking a bowl of fresh berries along with the butters and jams into the dining room, he filled the coffee carafes and made sure everything was in place before eight when breakfast was scheduled.

  By the time he went back into the kitchen to start planning the lunch menu, Cora was finishing her last bite of bread.

  “You are amazing,” she stated, taking her napkin and wiping her mouth. “I’m pretty sure I can get through my day now.”

  When she came to her feet and grabbed her plate, Liam reached across and took it. “I’ve got it.”

  “I can clean up after myself, you know.”

  Yeah. Stubborn woman. Apparently that’s what attracted the Monroe men. “I realize that,” he stated. “But I would’ve cleaned up after anyone in my kitchen. Besides, you need to get to your room and get ready for the masses.”

  “I’m going to need a really good dessert from you later,” she warned as she grabbed onto Heidi’s collar. “Something with plenty of chocolate or those strawberry macaroons you made the other day. Dip those in chocolate, okay? I should be done about four today.”

  Liam laughed and nodded, though she couldn’t see him. “I’ll see what I can do for you. I know some people who ship me the best chocolate.”

  Cora was one of the world-renowned Buchanans who dominated the chocolate importing business. They kept Liam fully supplied in anything he needed, from dark chocolate to white to even chocolate wine, which they’d just recently added to their roster.

  When Cora reached the doorway, she turned. “Have you talked to Braxton since yesterday?”

  “No, why?”

  A wide smile spread across her face. “Ask him. Just make sure you keep your calendar clear for the next little bit.”

  Confused, Liam rested his hands on the island. “For how long?”

  “Just talk to your brother.”

  And then she was gone, her soft shoes and Heidi’s nails echoing down the hallway. What was going on? Now Liam wouldn’t be able to concentrate until he spoke with Braxton, who most likely was in class.

  Liam pulled out his phone and shot off a quick text to Braxton to call when he was done with class. Considering Cora’s sweet smile, nothing was wrong, but still Liam would have liked to know why he needed to keep his calendar clear for the next little bit. How long did a “little bit” actually entail?

  In no time, the chatter from the dining room filled the kitchen. So far every group that had passed through had been great. The feedback they’d gotten was more than they could’ve hoped for. Everyone was thrilled with their stay and a few had already made reservations to return in the fall.

  He had even survived the bachelorette party that left last night. They’d definitely been the most interesting group. They’d requested Wind Down with Wine to be their breakfast. Liam’s mind ran together all the guests that had come and gone. They’d only been open a few months, but the revolving door hadn’t stopped spinning. They were taking in guests and filing them out like an assembly line.

  So he shouldn’t feel guilty about his need to go back to where he was happiest. He’d filled in when the resort had been in a bind. Finding a replacement wouldn’t be a problem . . . he hoped. He’d never wanted anything more than for all of this to work out, for his plans to fall into place and the move to be smooth for everyone. That is, if he actually managed to get the restaurant.

  Liam started working on the potpie he was going to serve for lunch. No frozen food here. He knew his clients at the resort just as well as his patrons at Magnolias. An older church group would love something down-home and simple like a homemade potpie. And his crust was pure perfection, thank you very much.

  His mother had stressed the importance of doing all things from scratch. She’d always said, “When we have our restaurant, people aren’t going to want processed foods. They want fresh.” He’d lived by her standards, making him exactly who he was today.

  Liam mixed up the dough and rolled it out, using his mother’s old rolling pin. So many pieces of her life carried over into his. Nobody knew the old mixer he kept in his apartment had been hers, just like this rolling pin. He wanted to keep those memories of his mother, of happier times, locked inside where he could treasure them forever. He didn’t want to share her.

  Even though he’d been young when she passed, Liam had kept a box of a few of her items. No matter where he went, that box had gone with him.

  Liam’s phone vibrated on the counter. With hands full of gooey dough, he glanced at the screen.

  I’ll swing by your apartment later.

  Braxton was a man of many words. Couldn’t he just text him what this big hush-hush secret was?

  Seconds later his cell vibrated once again.

  Change of plans. Meet at Zach’s at seven.

  Liam blew out a breath and shook his head. Whatever was going on, there was a family meeting being called. Staring at his phone for another moment, Liam willed the dam
n thing to ring. If he hadn’t heard back from Mark by the time he left work today, Liam was calling back. Friction and bad terms weren’t going to keep Liam from pursuing his dream of owning his own restaurant. Surely his brothers would understand.

  Maybe he would know if the place was indeed for sale by the time the family meeting was called. Having Zach and Braxton together at the same time would make it easier to drop a hint and lay some groundwork, so that way when Liam left, it wouldn’t be so shocking.

  “Excuse me?”

  Liam jerked, his gaze landing on the doorway where a guest stood with a smile. Her eyes immediately went to the left side of his face. Instinct had him shifting slightly.

  “I’m sorry to bother you.” The sixty-ish lady with short, silvery hair smiled. “My friends and I just wanted to tell you how wonderful the food has been while we’ve been here. Whatever you did to that quiche was absolutely amazing.”

  Liam gave a brief nod and attempted to return the smile. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

  He stayed in the kitchen to avoid people, but he couldn’t be rude or standoffish when this was his family’s business and Chelsea’s vision. They all had to work together to make this a success. Stepping out of his comfort zone was something he knew he’d have to do when back in Haven, but that didn’t mean he had to like it or embrace it.

  “There will be a midmorning snack around ten and lunch at one,” he added, focusing back on his dough. “Cora said you’re all up for massages, so I’ll make sure to leave everything out in the dining room so you can come and go as you please.”

  “Sounds great. This is quite an amazing place you guys have.”

  Unease settled in his stomach. “Thank you.”

  Where was Zach? Wasn’t he supposed to be here this morning? Braxton only came by in the evenings because of his teaching schedule, but Liam really didn’t want to be left on his own. Sophie had a closing on a home this morning, but Zach should be here, damn it.