I never saw Gabriel, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t there. I became paranoid about his invisible presence, and I would usually leave a room if I thought he was watching me or if I got a whiff of pine needles.
My thirst grew worst. It stayed muted for only a day, and then it blazed and burned and made me want to scream.
When I woke up on the sixth night, one hand automatically went to my throat while the other covered my mouth so I wouldn’t scream. I knew I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I could not concentrate on anything but my thirst.
All I had to do was go to Gabriel’s room, and knock on his door. He would answer. I wouldn’t even have to ask him. All I would have to do is look at him, and he would know. He would expose his neck, and my fangs would come out. . . .
I snapped myself out of the moment of weakness.
I didn’t want to wake Inola, so I got out of bed very slowly. I put on a pair of jeans, a black T-shirt, and a pair of gray running shoes. I wrapped a stake gun around my wrist as a precaution before slipping out of my room.
I passed Christopher and a female vampire named Cassidy in one of the hallways, but I said nothing to them, and they only acknowledged me with a nod. I came to the front door of the mansion, opening it and peering out into the night. I swallowed against the fading fear of the dark.
That was one thing that had surprised me—the night no longer seemed so ominous. It seemed almost . . . welcoming. Safe.
I went out the front door and shot into the forest. I effortlessly scaled a tree, crouched on a branch, and waited.
I refused to think about what I was doing. If I thought about it, I wouldn’t be able to go through with it. I also ignored the fact that it was most likely pointless.
I loved animals so much, but choosing human blood over animals . . .
I blended in with the night perfectly. Minutes later, a squirrel scuttled near the branch I perched on. My hands moved quickly, and I caught it easily. It bit and scratched at me, but it couldn’t wound me no matter how hard it tried. My fangs came out of my gums, a short burst of pain accompanying their appearance.
Just a little blood. Only a little to take the edge off. I wouldn’t kill it—I just needed a little.
The dam around my heart cracked a bit further as the squirrel squeaked, and my eyes almost grew misty as I bit into its neck. The blood flowed into my mouth, and I immediately gagged. The taste was so bad I dropped the squirrel. It ran away, squeaking in pain.
I coughed up the blood. Ugh, it was so nasty! It tasted like how sewage smelled. Only a little managed to go down my throat, and it did nothing to soothe it.
I punched the tree in frustration, sending splinters of wood flying everywhere as I jumped down. I landed silently and listened. The squirrel had been a bust, but maybe a different animal would work. . . .
A twig snapped. I whirled around and grabbed at a ball of fur. A rabbit squirmed in my hands.
My fangs brushed my lips. I leaned down toward the warm life thrashing in my arms. . . .
I set the rabbit down gently. It sprinted away, crashing into the underbrush.
My breathing hitched, and a dry sob echoed around me as my fangs slipped back inside my gums. I wiped desperately at the blood drying on my chin; it looked almost black in the silver moonlight.
Then I heard a different heartbeat, one that was slower than the animals around me. A heartbeat in perfect synchronization with mine.
I aimed the stake gun toward the sound. “Stop, or I’ll shoot,” I warned.
“Go ahead. I have a feeling you’ll miss your mark.”
My ears roared, and my heart lurched. “How dare you follow me out here?” I hissed.
Gabriel materialized out of the shadowed moonlight. “Forgive me for being concerned.”
My eyes narrowed. “You just want to make sure I don’t leave my pretty prison.”
“Forgive me for wanting you safe,” he said, his words dripping with sarcasm.
“You have never kept me safe!”
He stopped, and his eyes glazed over with sorrow. His next words were soft and sincere. “Forgive me for failing you.”
I tried to shoot him. I wanted to shoot him.
But I didn’t want to kill him. Angry and bitter as I was, the thought of killing him made me sick. To my eternal shame, I had already tried to kill him once upon waking as a vampire, so confused and filled with rage I hadn’t been thinking clearly.
Out of morbid curiosity, I tested the invisible force infused within my cells that protected my creator’s life. The sensation was strange and indescribable. No matter how hard I tried, my body refused to aim at his heart. I was actually physically incapable of it.
I lowered my arm after aiming it toward his shoulder. If I wounded him, I would give in, and indulge in his blood.
“I can never forgive you. Not now,” I said.
He ignored my words and inclined his head toward my shirt. I looked down to see a drop of blood on the hem, small enough that it would have been invisible to the human eye, especially against the black fabric.
“Animal blood cannot quench a vampire’s thirst. You know this,” Gabriel said.
I turned away from him and walked toward the direction of the mansion. “It was worth a shot.”
“There are plenty of blood bags inside. We have many connections to ensure we never run out.”
It was hard to concentrate on his words because of the pain. “What do you think I’m heading toward?” I snapped.
“I can help you.”
I stopped, although I refused to turn around.
“I don’t want your help,” I said.
He was right behind me. His presence was equally angering and intoxicating.
“I know you do not want my help, but I can make your pain stop. You don’t ever have to feel the pain of thirst,” he said.
“You just want my blood so you don’t have to be thirsty,” I scoffed.
His hands gripped my upper arms, and he whirled me around, pulling me to him and applying just enough pressure so that I couldn’t escape.
“I would never drink your blood if it was not what you willed. Even if for every single day of eternity you denied me your blood while I gave you mine, I would respect your wishes and refrain from drinking yours,” he said.
I wouldn’t look at his eyes, so I stared at his shoulder. “You drank my blood when I didn’t will it, Gabriel. You drank from me when I needed you the most.”
He trembled against me.
“Look at me,” he said in a hoarse whisper.
“No.”
“Kara, look at me.”
I closed my eyes.
One of his arms snaked around my back to keep me in place while his other hand gripped my chin and forced my face up.
“Look at me now, or I’ll kiss you. I’ll kiss you and break down every fragile barrier you have managed to build, and then you will not be able to deny me any longer.” His voice became unimaginably soft. “I know you do not want that.”
My eyes opened. His gaze was green fire, and now he wasn’t the only one trembling. His touch, his eyes, his nearness, and my thirst made me horribly aware of the losing battle I was fighting.
“I do not even know what I can say, my heart. I know I broke you, and it’s my fault you are this way. I do not know how to earn your forgiveness when I have failed you so many times. I promised to keep you safe, but I couldn’t. How can I earn your forgiveness after everything I have done? Please, tell me what I can do. Anything you want, just tell me, and I will do it.”
I was going to shatter. My fangs snapped out.
His eyes blazed with hope. “Go ahead. I want you to. I want you to do it so badly, Kara.”
Gabriel’s vulnerability made my heart throb. But even so . . .
I shot the stake gun. The wood found its mark in his thigh, making him stumble away from me. As soon as the tang of his blood hit the air, I ran.
Away from his empty promises. Away from his blood. Away f
rom him.
***
In my worry that he was not far behind me, I bit my wrist and made my blood flow onto the ground, and then I went the opposite way of the blood.
And I ached. It was a dim echo behind my protective wall, but it was there.
I hated hurting him. I hated making a false trail, but the alternative was worse. I had given in to my feelings for Gabriel as a human, but I wouldn’t as a vampire.
I ran until I no longer knew where I was.
The forest was hours behind me, and there was not much cover anymore. There was no salt in the air; I had moved away from the coast.
And a huge problem was emerging. The sky was lightening and was free of clouds.
Weakness filled my limbs. Inola had told me the other day to be careful when going out on cloudy days. Even if clouds hid the direct sunlight, there was still enough sunlight filtering through to weaken a vampire.
I now understood. Dawn was going to break any minute, and I already felt like I’d been poisoned. I made myself run faster through the thinning trees on the side of the road.
I could make out a small town in the distance. I looked toward the sky. If I didn’t hurry . . .
Faint regret washed through me. Why did I never think anything through? What if Elias was nearby, his lust for revenge not yet sated? I wanted to go faster, but I was now running significantly slower.
I wasn’t going to make it. Instead, I went toward an old building on the outskirts of the town.
I jumped a rusted metal fence, the barbed wire tearing my jeans but leaving my skin unscathed. The first rays of dawn streaked the sky at the exact moment I dove into the shadow of the back of the building.
I took in my surroundings. A sign near the road indicated the place used to be an old-fashioned candy factory, but it looked as if it had been unused for many years. I could see no windows above me, and there was no door. The only windows and doors I had seen in my haste were the ones on the front side, the side that was now being bathed in the morning light.
I moaned, remembering how I had burned before. I couldn’t feel that pain again. . . .
“Ok, think quickly,” I whispered.
I put my ear to the bricks of the building. The place looked abandoned, but I needed to be sure. I heard nothing. Nothing human, anyway. I definitely heard the scurry of rats and the buzzing of bug wings.
I went to the right edge of the building and peeked around the corner. No windows or doors on that side, either.
Fear bashed against the numbing dam. What if the other side was the same?
I looked around the left corner and let out a sigh of relief. Windows dotted the upper story, and the sunlight hadn’t quite reached the last three windows near me.
I scaled the building and held the ledge of the closest window. It was covered by metal bars, but I knew I was strong enough to tear them away.
I grabbed a bar, surprised it didn’t budge when I pulled at it.
I had gone too long without blood. Not only that, but the sunlight was only inches away. I was pathetically weak right now.
I pulled again, every ounce of strength behind my actions. The bar pulled free from the window. It took me twice as long to rip out the next one, and I hurried to work on the third bar.
I tugged it from the wall just as the sunlight kissed my body. I screamed and dove through the window. The glass rained down around me as I fell down the two stories.
I landed on a pile of wooden pallets, my heavy fall shattering the aged, rotted wood. Shards of wood protruded from my body at various angles, and the pain rivaled my thirst. A strangled cry left my mouth as I crawled on all fours away from the death trap.
I pulled the piece of wood closest to my heart out first, and drops of bright vampire blood painted the dusty floor. My screams echoed throughout the empty factory as I pulled the wood out of my body. The one I pulled from my thigh caused my blood to shoot out and spray a nearby stack of moldy boxes.
I stared at the gory, crimson mess. I hadn’t had blood in days, and now here I was with severe blood loss.
Gabriel’s blood frenzy had happened because of blood loss. . . .
I felt the dam burst inside my chest. All of my emotions crashed together at once, and I screamed until I went cold.
Amidst the storm of pain, something dark clawed its way to the surface. An entity linked to me, but it was somehow separate at the same time. A frightening force I could not fight.
The monster inside of every vampire. The blood frenzy.
I felt myself slip away, as if I’d never even existed.
The Kara I knew was finally gone.
Chapter 11 Blood Frenzy
I could smell the humans in the town. They all smelled different. Some smelled sweet, and some smelled almost bitter. I could smell who was young and who was old. I could even tell if someone was male or female by their scent.
But they all had the tinge of iron. Sweet, invigorating, thirst-quenching blood.
And it was going to be all mine. I was going to rip their throats open and drink them dry. Every last one of them.
I couldn’t wait to kill them all.
I bit harder into the rat and sucked the last bit of blood from its unmoving body. The taste was rotten and wrong, and it did nothing to soothe my thirst, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was weak, warm, and good practice for hunting.
Anticipation swelled within me. The sun couldn’t go down fast enough. The wait was pure torture.
My throat hurt. It hurt so badly. I just needed it to stop. I needed blood. All of the blood. Every last drop.
I streaked across the small room, clumsily banging into the wall in my haste. I grabbed a baby rat by its tail from underneath a cracked mop bucket.
I bit into it. There was barely any blood inside at all. Disgusted, I tossed the thing to the ground when the blood was gone.
The other rats were in the part of the factory with the windows. I could hear them running about while I had to hide in the windowless janitor closet.
Once I was too impatient. Too hasty. I tried to leave my haven of darkness. I was burned for my mistake, so I crawled back into the shadows.
“Come here, little babies,” I crooned to the rats. I opened the door and jumped back quickly. “Come on insiiiiide.”
I caught three more rats before the sun went down. They all tasted disgusting.
***
As soon as it was safe, I ran for the town.
On the edge of the town, I spotted a neon sign for a bar. I could smell booze, sweat, and cigarette smoke surrounding the building.
Easy prey. All for me. All mine.
I ghosted into the alley beside the noisy bar. Next to the bar was a pizza place. Both buildings were packed with humans. I set one foot out onto the sidewalk, ready to burst inside the bar and kill all in my path, but a man walked out of the pizza place, texting on his cell phone.
My prey was coming toward me, and his heart was beating rich blood through his veins. It was begging me to take it.
I grabbed his arm and pulled him into the alley. He tried to get away, but I was stronger even at my weakest. My fangs sprang forth, and I bit into his neck, cutting off his screams.
Bliss. Blood.
I sucked greedily as he feebly struggled. His fear flowed into me, making me giddy. It wasn’t long before his struggling stopped. His fear also faded, disappointing me.
Where was the fight? The high of the kill—he was ruining it for me! I bit deeper as punishment.
So intent on my prey, I didn’t hear the approach.
Something stronger than me flung me off of the human.
I flew through the air and landed lightly, whirling around with my fangs bared.
It was Gabriel.
“Stop it, Kara.”
“He’s mine,” I hissed, going back toward the human. “Go find your own.”
Gabriel grabbed my shoulders. “If you take any more blood, it will kill him. You won’t be able to live with that.”
“I don’t care! I want to kill him! I want him to die.”
Gabriel’s fingers dug into my skin, and he shook me. “That’s the blood frenzy talking, not you. This is not you.”
“Yes, it is. This is me. I’ve never felt so alive! I’m so high right now, Gabriel. It’s amazing. It’s wonderful. I want his blood now!”
I flung myself toward the unconscious man, but Gabriel was too strong. He held me back while he bit into his wrist with his fangs.
Immediately, my attention left the dying human and went to Gabriel’s bleeding wrist. Only Gabriel’s blood mattered. It took over my entire world. The human’s blood didn’t hold the promise of this blood.
Gabriel held his wrist out to me. I closed my mouth over it and moaned in ecstasy at the indescribable taste, and by the look on Gabriel’s face, it felt as good to him as it did to me.
“Consume me,” Gabriel whispered into my ear. “No one else.”
His emotions poured into me. His love for me. His worry. His longing.
I felt myself coming back, the monster inside satisfied at last.
I was finally sated. But even though I was no longer thirsty, it was hard to pull away. For the first time since becoming a vampire, my thirst was truly gone. I was free of pain, but horror washed through me.
I took a few steps back. “What have I done?” I whispered.
“He will be ok,” Gabriel said, rubbing his fingers across my cheek. “Heal him, and then Control him to forget what happened.”
I was still in disbelief. “I-I couldn’t help myself. I was like a different person. . . . I wanted to kill him.”
“I know.” Gabriel’s agony washed into me, potent and piercing. It mingled with the human’s fading fear.
Jeffery. The human’s name was Jeffery. I shuddered at the name I had forcibly derived, shuddered at his form on the ground, his blood now revolting instead of inviting. I actually had the urge to vomit, but I knew I needed to keep the blood down.
I bit into my wrist with my fangs, clinging desperately to the pain in my wrist and gums as a form of punishment for my actions. I forced my blood into Jeffery’s pale mouth, carefully holding his head back. Soon enough his eyes flew open, and the deep wounds on his neck healed. His pulse sped up, and his breathing became fast and shallow.
Forever Stained Red (Violet Memory Book 2) Page 12