THORN (A Brikken Motorcycle Club Saga Book 4)

by Debra Kayn

  "I work on motorcycles at the garage on Brikken property." He reached out with both hands and buttoned her shirt. "You're distracting me."

  Pleasure settled low in her stomach. She caught her lip between her teeth and stared at his broad hand and thick fingers brushing the skin on her chest. Her top wasn't indecent. She showed a little skin, but that was because she received bigger tips if she went out of her way to dress more appealing. She needed the extra money for the attorney she wanted to hire to help her keep Ed away from Nikki permanently.

  "Miss?" A woman's voice came from behind Jessy.

  She turned her head. The woman looked straight at her.

  "Yes?" Nikki said.

  "Is he bothering you?" The woman gazed at her intently, raising her brows.

  "He?" She looked back at Thorn, caught the irritated expression on his face, and almost laughed. "Um, no. I'm fine."

  "You're sure?" asked the woman.

  "Positive." Fighting to keep the amusement out of her voice. "Thank you."

  The woman walked away, glancing over her shoulder, glaring at Thorn. Jessy turned her back to the front of the building and leaned closer to Thorn, finally letting quiet laughter out. "What was her problem?"

  Thorn grunted. "Look at us."

  Understanding dawned on her. She patted his vest. "Bikers have a bad rep. I was guilty of thinking anyone wearing a leather vest and riding a motorcycle had to be into drugs, fighting, stealing, especially after Ed joined Brikken."

  A man in a suit and a woman in a black skirt and blazer walked past them. She held her tongue, not wanting to embarrass Thorn in front of others.

  The man stopped, walked back to her, and said, "Is this your dad?"

  "Who?" she blurted, hitching her thumb at Thorn. "Him? No."

  The man looked at Thorn and jerked on the cuff of his sleeve before meeting her eyes. "If you're waiting for a ride you should stand over by the front of the building. It's safer."

  Shocked, she nodded until the man joined the other woman and walked away. Her neck warmed and she was sure her cheeks had flushed.

  "That was rude," she whispered. "I'm sorry you heard that."

  "Not your problem," he muttered. "People need to mind their own fucking business."

  She looked everywhere but at Thorn. The way people acted, she wondered if that was the reason for him keeping his distance as he protected her in case Ed came back. Though, at the Brikken clubhouse, he'd stuck right by her. No one questioned the reasons why she was hanging around him. Even Thorn's family members made her feel as if it was normal for her to come and spend the day with him.

  Uncomfortable for him, she sighed. "I should get back inside and wait for Nikki to finish with the doctor."

  He dipped his chin. She stepped away, looked back, and tried to make the last ten minutes go away. She understood judgmental people, but those strangers acted like Thorn was going to kidnap her.

  She gasped, her stomach sinking. Outside the doors, she turned and looked back at Thorn. His gaze remained on her. She couldn't read his expression or feel the heat coming off him, but she'd bet everything that it was there and the others had seen how he was looking at her.

  After spending time and getting to know him, she'd forgotten how much older Thorn was than her. To outsiders, they weren't viewing a questionable biker. They were accusing an older dangerous biker of being intimate with a twenty-one-year-old.

  She would need more than brownies to make up for what Thorn went through protecting her.

  Exhaling in frustration, she turned and went inside to wait for Nikki to finish her appointment.

  The receptionist spotted her, rounded the half wall and approached her. "Dr. Logenberg would like you to come back to his office."

  "Oh, sure." She hurried after Maddie. "Is Nikki okay?"

  "She is now." Maddie knocked on the door and then swung it open. "Go on in."

  She stepped inside the room. Her chest squeezed, stealing her breath. Nikki sat in the oversized blue chair with her knees drawn up and her head buried in her arms, soft cries signaled her distress.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jessy walked out of the medical center carrying Nikki. Thorn's body tensed at the pitiful cries coming from their direction. A sealed wound in his heart reopened.

  He got off his motorcycle and made it to them in ten strides. "What the fuck happened?"

  Jessy's wild gaze met his. "Language."

  "Talk."

  She continued walking toward her car. "I can't."

  The hell she can't. Whatever happened inside, he'd undo. If that meant going nose to nose with a fucking quack, he would. Nikki was thriving and becoming more secure about herself. There was no reason a doctor or therapist or whoever should upset her.

  Jessy opened the car door and grunted, trying to extract Nikki from around her neck. "I'm taking you home. You'll need to let go of me, and I'll get in the front seat and be in the car with you."

  Well-hidden tears roughened Jessy's voice. Thorn stood behind her, holding on to the frame of the door. Nothing should upset his girls.

  His girls.

  Damn right, they belonged to him.

  "Deep breaths, Nikki." Jessy pulled the seatbelt around her daughter. "We'll be home in five minutes."

  Nikki straightened and shut the door, instantly opening the driver's door and sitting down. Thorn moved with her. "Keep your attention on the road."

  She started the car and threw him a desperate look over Nikki's cries. He stepped backward toward his Harley, jogging over and preparing to ride. Instead of following her, he broke traffic, letting Jessy exit the parking lot and get on the street.

  The last thing he needed her to do was race home and put her and Nikki in danger.

  By the time he reached the apartment and parked, Jessy had Nikki back in her arms. He followed them to the door, unsure if he was thankful the wailing had stopped or fearful of the blank look Nikki held on her face as she tucked her head against her mom's shoulder.

  He wanted to reach out and cup the child's head, assure Nikki that she was safe and he wouldn't allow anyone to hurt her but he was afraid of scaring her more. Something inside the doctor's office freaked her out. It didn't take a fucking genius or Ph.D. to figure out that getting a five-year-old into such a state of panic wouldn't help Nikki move forward or put her abusive past behind her.

  Inside the apartment, Jessy went straight to the couch and sat down, holding Nikki to her chest. He quietly sat in the chair across from them.

  "You are my sunshine..." Jessy swallowed and closed her eyes. "You make me happy when skies are gray."

  The song sung barely above a whisper soothed Nikki the longer Jessy sang. Hypnotized by the mother-daughter scene in front of him, Thorn's throat closed. He could remember his mom singing that song to him. Being the youngest, he also remembered Jett and Olin making fun of him for being babied when he got hurt.

  Surrounded by brothers and a father that was president of a motorcycle club, he'd quickly shrugged away any pampering and learned to man up. Those softer moments were lost until something brought them back to the surface. Like, being around Nikki and Jessy.

  After three more renditions of the song, Jessy opened her eyes, calmer than she'd been when bringing her daughter to safety. "She's asleep."

  "Do you want me to lift her off you," he whispered.

  "I'll just lay her on the couch. She hasn't eaten yet." Jessy sighed. "Can you get her pillow off her bed and the Barbie that's tucked under her blanket."

  He walked into the bedroom, surrounded by pink and purple. The twin bed took up most of the room, and he quickly found the doll and grabbed the pillow with the Barbie pillowcase. He paused, taken back by how normal the bedroom appeared. A well-loved child lived here.

  Yet, despite the love, the comfort, the beauty, Nikki had carried life-long abuse on her little shoulders that no one knew about until he'd found her. His fingers dug into the pillow. He often wondered how many times he'd been close to h
er as he searched the area outside the clubhouse for the sound that haunted him.

  If he'd only found her sooner.

  Returning to the living room, he put the pillow at the end of the couch. Jessy placed Nikki down. He set the Barbie beside her.

  Jessy hugged her middle looking down at her daughter. He rubbed her back. Her body continued to shake, the vibrations traveled up his arm.

  "Let's step outside," he whispered, used to Jessy going out on the patio to have privacy while being within hearing distance of Nikki when she slept.

  He barely stepped onto the concrete pad, and Jessy turned and pressed herself against his chest. Wrapping his arms around her, he absorbed her tremors.

  He kissed the top of her head. "Let it out."

  As if she needed permission, she crumbled, clinging to him. His chest swelled, holding her closer, he wound his hand up into her hair and palmed the back of her head. He would do anything to take away her pain, make Nikki whole, and give them the life they deserved to live.

  She shouldn't be working herself to exhaustion to afford a special school, a therapist, and the most basic roof over her head.

  Jessy sniffed, shuddering. "I'm sorry," she mumbled into his chest. "I'm just so tired of dealing with what Ed has done to her coming back to hurt my baby every single time I think we've moved forward."

  "Brikken will not let Talbot back in her life." He inhaled deeply, cocooning her in his arms. "I won't let him hurt our girl."

  Jessy raised her head. The tears still marked her face. "Our girl?"

  "I've been living with her cry branded in my heart for the last four years and have spent those four years searching for the reason behind such a sound." His fingers palmed her head. "And, through Nikki, I got to know her mom. I haven't made it a secret that I want you in my life. I want both of you in my life."

  She moistened her lips. "Kiss me."

  "Don’t ask me to do that." His jaw ached from holding back. "I need you to see what's in front of your face. I'm not some twenty-one-year-old boy. I'm not interested in dating you. If I kiss you again, it's because you're my woman."

  She raised to her toes. "I want you to kiss me."

  "Can you ignore all the assholes in the world who are going to think you're in danger because you're with me? How about those that will mistake you for my daughter?" His hands shook, wanting her. "The only people that are going to accept you being with me are on Brikken property and within the family, and that means Nikki will be at the place that scarred her."

  "Last time, she adapted. She played with Chee and the others. When we're not there, it's been you who has convinced her to eat every night at dinner. She's gained two pounds." Jessy's eyes cleared, and she held on to him. "I don't care what other people think of me. I've heard the disapproval in people's questions and seen the judgment in their eyes since I was a pregnant teenager and it continues as a single mom. I get that you're older than me and yeah, at first it stopped me—when you kissed me. But, I know you better. You've become a part of my life. I can't imagine not having you here and this...it's not enough. I want you."

  "There's more to what I want than being a provider and supporter." He forced himself not to claim what she was handing him. "I want inside you, and to remind you every day that you belong to me. I want to touch you when I want to—not when it's convenient or only when we're alone. You will belong to me, and I'll make sure nobody and nothing touches you so that you regret being with me. To have that, you need to trust me." He bent his knees, gazing closer into her eyes. "To love me."

  "You want a committed relationship?" She caught her bottom lip between her teeth. "Now? Why Ed is out there and hasn't been punished for what he's done?"

  "What I feel for you has nothing to do with him, and you're not a fuck-for-fun kind of girl...woman."

  "No." She sucked in air. "You're right."

  "Then, what's the problem?"

  "I don't think there is one." She blew out her breath. "This...what's happening between us is so big. It's not normal. I've grown to love having you in my life and over the time I've known you, you're the first person I look for when I have a thought enter my head or want to share a part of my life—good and bad."

  He waited for more. She needed to understand there was no changing her mind or walking away. If problems came up, they would need to work through them and come together.

  "When I think about you someday walking away from me, it scares me." She looked up at him. "You really want me?"

  "More than anything," he said.

  Her gaze dropped to his chest before rising again to his eyes. "Is it wrong that I want you, too?"

  His body stiffened. He fisted his hand and dragged her up by her hair, losing control. Capturing her lips, he forcefully opened her mouth, seeking. She gave him her tongue, then shyly stroked him.

  Her tentative exploration teased him. His balls ached. She was so fucking young. Even with having a kid, Jessy's sexual experience equaled an amount he could put in his pocket.

  And, damned if her innocence wasn't a fucking turn on.

  Jessy's arms came up, and she slid her hands up the back of his neck, pulling him down. He took one more taste and retreated. She needed guidance. It was too easy to get out of control with her.

  "I'm in your bed tonight." He smoothed her hair off her forehead.

  She lowered her hands. "I don't have a bed."

  "Yeah, well, I'm going to change that tomorrow. Tonight, we'll figure out a way we can both fit on the couch."

  She stepped back. He tugged her against him.

  "There's Nikki." She rubbed her forehead. "I can't let you sleep here while—"

  "I'll be out of here before she wakes but soon, she's going to have to realize I'm a part of her life from now on." He reached over and slid the screen door open. "You need to go wake her up, feed her, and then I need to run back to the clubhouse for a few hours. Cash and Freddy will be outside if you need anything."

  She stepped back inside the house. "But, you're coming back tonight?"

  "Yeah." He patted her ass. "I think we both need a breather."

  She caught his hand. "Why does it feel like you're running away?"

  He kissed her and knew he was making the right decision. "If I stay, I'm going to freak Nikki out when she finds you naked on the floor underneath me."

  Jessy's eyes rounded. He chuckled quietly. "Take care of your daughter. I'll be back."

  He walked out the front door. Outside, he retrieved his cell phone and called Cash to come and relieve him for a few hours. Then, he called Chief to borrow his truck tomorrow. His woman needed a bed underneath her for what he had planned for her.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Perched on the edge of the couch, Jessy leaned over the arm and peered into Nikki's bedroom. Because she'd taken a nap after the doctor appointment and picked at her dinner later than usual, her bedtime had come and gone an hour ago.

  The shadow of Nikki playing with her Barbie continued to dance along the wall. She slouched on the couch. Thorn would be coming back, and if Nikki wasn't asleep, she wasn't sure what she was going to do. She couldn't invite him in with her daughter awake.

  She had a hundred and ten reasons why listening and believing in Thorn and what he wanted in his life was a bad idea. It was too easy to want the same thing. Most importantly, Nikki needed a stable home life.

  Thorn flipped her life upside down every time he was with her. She pressed a hand to her stomach. What had come over her?

  He'd been here for her when she needed him after the doctor appointment. He was always here when she needed support dealing with Nikki. The comfort of knowing someone was watching to make sure she was parenting right brought her more comfort than she'd ever imagined. So many times, she wondered if she was screwing up Nikki's life. From the moment she became a mother, raising Nikki was filled with trial and error. Nobody taught her in school—before she quit—how to raise a child.

  She believed children were born perfect. Taki
ng care of a baby was all about feeding, changing diapers, and providing a safe environment full of love. How foolish she'd been.

  Nobody told her there would be nights where she sat on the floor beside her daughter's bed, crying for how unfair life had been and worried about what tomorrow would bring.

  It took monumental strength to focus on the good and provide a positive environment when life was filled with hardships.

  Nikki was a normal child who refused to talk. Selective muteness was a handicap and made things difficult but not impossible. There were ways around verbally communicating. She could tell when her daughter was worried, happy, scared, angry. But, she had no idea what went through Nikki's head and without being able to fight her demons for her, she failed as a mother.

  She leaned over and peered into the room again. The shadows on the wall had stopped. Making sure Nikki slept, she tiptoed over to the doorway and peeked inside. More than looking forward to having adult time with Thorn, she was relieved that in sleep, her daughter had peace.

  The rumble of a motorcycle mixed with the passing cars outside took her away from the bedroom. Used to the loud sounds of living within the city limits of Tacoma, she was glad Nikki could tune everything out when she slept.

  When the soft knock came, she flipped the lock and opened the door.

  Thorn stood in front of her, gazing intently at her. Caught between wanting to throw herself at him or retreat, she stepped back holding on to the doorknob.

  He stepped inside and dropped his duffel on the floor. She stood beside him, her thoughts whirling. She needed...no, she wanted to share with him what the therapist told her about Nikki having a breakdown today during her appointment. She also wanted him to hold her and tell her that she could dream of a future with him and it wasn't the craziest thing to have ever happened to her. She wanted to know if she'd be okay and if she was making a decision that would eventually bite her in the ass.

  "Do I need to take the time to talk you out of worrying or can you kiss me and mean it?" whispered Thorn.

  There was no hesitation.