THORN (A Brikken Motorcycle Club Saga Book 4)

by Debra Kayn

  "You don't think it's too feminine?" She wrinkled her nose and looked around the room. "Thorn told me to decorate and paint how I want things, but he has to live here, too."

  Sydney waved her hand. "He's not going to care, and I think it's a great mix of you and him...being the black. You've seen my kitchen. Trust me, the Stanton men only care about getting fed in the kitchen."

  She groaned. "It's been so long since I've been able to feed Thorn."

  The kids ran down the hallway and disappeared around the wall. Jessy smiled, loving the extra room the new house provided.

  "How much longer does he have?" asked Sydney.

  The back door slammed. Jessy waited to hear any cries of someone getting their fingers shut in the door, and when silence came, she said, "Three months." She motioned ahead of her. "Let's go sit in the living room."

  At the front of the house, off of the entryway, a large room looked out to an empty field across the road. With only her old couch and chair as furniture, her voice echoed to the delight of Nikki who would stand in front of the windows at night and sing songs she'd learned in school.

  "I'm hoping...though I don't tell Thorn that, he gets out early. I've been looking online at work about different ways sentences can be reduced. Good behavior is one, and he hasn't been punished for fighting in the last several months." She crossed her legs.

  "I don't know, Jessy." Sydney sat down beside her on the couch. "The court system doesn't treat Brikken members the same. Jett had to do all four years of his sentence, and you can ask Johanna, but I think Chief had to—"

  "Don't tell me that." Jessy sat forward, unable to stop her curiosity. "None of them received early release?"

  Sydney lowered her brows and shook her head. She slouched on the couch as Arik walked into the room.

  Both of the women looked at Sydney's son. Something had happened to break him away from the other kids.

  "Are you getting hungry?" Jessy asked Arik, knowing she might not have a chance to ask Sydney her questions today because of the children being around.

  "Gunnar won't let me outside. He's holding the door closed." Arik folded his thin arms.

  "Do you think he'll let you if you take the cupcakes out and pass them around?" She grinned. "Maybe we can tempt him to play with everyone."

  She stood and crooked her finger, motioning for Arik to follow her. It only took the offer of food to get the door open.

  Jessy walked back into the kitchen and carried the pitcher of juice and plastic cups outside. Once the kids were situated on the blanket she'd spread out on the lawn earlier, she stood back giving them privacy to be children.

  "You're good with kids," said Sydney, eating one of the cookies from the kitchen.

  She laughed. "You have no idea how out of my element I am. Even having Nikki, she's only one child. But, I do have to say your kids are easy to be around. They're friendly and easy going."

  "You're kidding. I know my children, and how they can battle each other from the time they get up and sometimes, I swear, I hear them arguing while they sleep." She lifted her chin. "Look at them. If I didn't know better, I'd think they were little angels."

  Pleasure filled Jessy. She smiled. "I didn't have any siblings, and with Nikki, well, it's just been her and me."

  Sydney brushed the cookie crumbs off her hands. "It was around this time last year that she met Chee. I can't believe how those two hit it off from the first day. You've done wonders with her, especially after everything she's gone through."

  Besides Thorn and Nikki's doctors, she'd never sat down and explained the horrors her daughter had lived through. She bit her lower lip. It shouldn't surprise her that Thorn told his relatives. He would've had to explain why he was arrested and sent to prison.

  "That's behind her now," she said softly.

  "Thanks to Thorn." Sydney shot forward and caught Cora before she could dump her juice over Chee's head.

  Jessy crossed her arms and held her elbows. She was thankful to Thorn for many reasons. If Sydney knew she'd killed Ed, would she have the same opinion of her? Would she want her around the children?

  "Mommy?" Nikki stood from the blanket. "Chee wants a cookie, too."

  "Why don't you run in and bring out the container and let everyone have one." Jessy trailed her hand over Nikki's hair as she ran past her.

  Sydney returned and plopped down in the grass. "Come on, sit down. The kids can manage for ten minutes. I hope."

  Jessy crossed her ankles and lowered herself to the ground. The grassy patches were dried and brown. She didn't even own a lawnmower having lived in an apartment the last six years.

  "Mommy? Is this mine?" said Nikki behind her.

  She glanced over her shoulder at the present Sydney brought over. "Sydney's mom brought that to us to congratulate us on moving into the house."

  "Nikki, bring it over, and you and your mom can open it." Sydney leaned back and braced her hands on the ground. "It's actually for both of you."

  Jessy patted her thighs. "Sit here, and you can help take off the gift wrap."

  While Nikki worked at ripping off the edges of the paper, Jessy mouthed, "Thank you."

  "It's just a little something," whispered Sydney.

  Nikki pulled out one of two picture frames and turned it over. "Thorn!"

  Her daughter hugged the present to her chest before Jessy could see what was inside the frame. She picked up the other picture. It was Thorn, sitting on his Harley, looking off into the distance with a grin on his bearded face. The corner of his eye crinkled in amusement. He looked happy and peaceful.

  Her throat closed. He was such a beautiful man.

  "Can I keep it?" asked Nikki. "Please?"

  "You get one, and your mom gets one." Sydney picked up the paper that had fallen off Nikki's lap.

  "I'm going to put him in my room." Nikki jumped up and ran back into the house, forgetting about the cookies she promised Chee.

  Jessy's throat spasmed. She tried to swallow and found herself close to tears.

  Sydney rubbed her back and softly said, "I didn't think you had any pictures of him and thought you'd like this to put in your new house."

  She trailed her finger over the picture, down Thorn's body. "Thank you."

  "It's nothing—"

  "It's everything." On impulse, she leaned over and hugged Sydney. "Thank you. I'm going to go put this in the house, so it doesn’t get broken."

  Sydney smiled in understanding. "Take your time."

  She hurried inside and straight to the bedroom she'd share with Thorn when he came home. Making room for the frame on the T.V. tray beside the bed, she propped the picture up so she'd be able to see it wherever she was in the room.

  "God, I miss you," she whispered.

  Chapter Thirty One

  A group of inmates in general population sat at the table talking while playing with make-shift cards of some demon game in front of them. Thorn stood with his back against the wall and the phone to his ear. A war battled inside of him.

  The sweetness coming over the phone and the threats in front of him from being in prison forced him to keep listening to all conversations, knowing there wasn't a damn thing he could do to relieve the ache in his balls.

  "I just want you here in bed with me," said Jessy softly. "I want you to touch me and make me forget everything."

  His chest pounded. "Sweetheart..."

  "I know. I know." A vulnerable whine to her voice came over the phone, clear as a bell to him. "I've never felt this way about another person."

  "Same," he said, forcing air into his lungs.

  He wished he had the freedom to talk. To give her what she needed. To take what he wanted.

  A crackle came over the phone. He tensed.

  "What was that?" he asked.

  "Thunder." She sighed. "All evening it's looked like it would storm. It's so dark."

  He looked around the common area. There were no windows. The cement made it impossible to know what was going on
outside.

  He stretched his shoulders. "Do storms scare you?"

  "No, it's the opposite. It makes me antsy." She sighed. "I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin, you know? I can't lie still. I can't sleep. I can't relax. I don't know what is wrong with me."

  He knew. If he were there, he'd settle her down.

  If he had the freedom to let his guard down, he'd comfort her over the phone. But all he could do was listen. Her problem couldn't be solved by calling one of his brothers or buying her something to distract her.

  She needed fucked.

  She needed loved.

  She needed validation that he was walking out of prison in two months and would spend the rest of his life with her.

  "It's starting to rain," she said. "Did you know the farmhouse has a tin roof?"

  "Does it?" He barely remembered what the house looked like.

  Chief had several houses he rented out to Brikken members and a few properties he kept as investments for the future. He'd bought the place from his dad simply because Jessy wanted to make it their home.

  "It makes the rain louder." She paused. "I'm sorry."

  "What do you have to feel sorry for?"

  "I'm going on and on about myself and the house, and you're there," she said softly. "You must hate me."

  "I'd never hate you."

  "You should."

  He pushed away from the wall, and half turned. "Our situation is hard. But, it's almost over. You're not alone. Don't ever think I'm not right there with you. My family is yours. You take what you need from them now, and someday all this shit will be a bad memory."

  "It's the memories that scare me," she whispered.

  He blinked extra-long, soothing the pressure building inside of him to change the circumstances. He'd been there, thinking that he was responsible for the heartache of many.

  As a child, he believed he was alone. Nobody knew the struggle that shaped him.

  It was easy for him to forget that Jessy was only twenty-two years old because of all the responsibilities in her life.

  She needed to trust him that the agony, the loneliness, the guilt, would eventually be pushed back, and love, hope, and contentment would take place in her life. His experiences shaped him, and hers would do the same to her.

  "Cover up with the blanket, sweetheart. Put your head on the pillow and close your eyes." He cupped the back of his neck. "I need you to sleep. Okay?"

  "I'll try."

  She'd do more than make an attempt, she'd succeed. She couldn't recognize the strength inside of her yet. But, someday, she would.

  He lowered his chin. "I'll talk to you tomorrow night."

  "Okay. I love you."

  "Love you back," he whispered, disconnecting the call.

  He walked away from the phone and headed up the steel staircase to the second-floor cells. Knowing his cellmate was downstairs, Thorn used the empty area to shadow box in an attempt to dispel the anguish coursing through him.

  Working up a sweat, he imagined the thunder, the lightning, the rain.

  Chapter Thirty Two

  T-bone stood at the Cyclone fence, facing in the opposite direction. Thorn waited to hear the news he'd expected to come any day from one of the informants inside the prison who worked for Brikken Motorcycle Club. He only had seventy-two hours left until he could walk out the prison doors and go home after serving sixteen months.

  Anything could happen.

  Chief and Jett had both warned him of the dangers. The other inmates. Their enemies. They would all try and take him out. They wanted to fuck up his release and keep him on the inside.

  "The talk is Sparrows are meeting in Cell 3B an hour before lockdown." T-bone's hand brushed Thorn's side. "Take this."

  "I don't need anything." Whatever homemade weapon T-bone wanted to pass on to him would only get him locked up for longer if he was caught with contraband. That would keep him away from Jessy. From Nikki. From Brikken. "I'll handle whatever they bring at me."

  He had his hands. His head. His background of knowing there were enemies at every step.

  "Watch your back, man," muttered T-bone, walking away.

  He always had. There wasn't a day that went by when he closed both eyes or lost himself in his head. The days were long. The nights even longer.

  The only thing keeping him sane was the constant contact with those on the outside. He'd destroyed the smuggled phone he'd kept in his cell that he used for club business last night. His possessions were clean. As long as he survived the next three days, he was home free.

  FORTY-EIGHT HOURS LATER, Jett sat at the table in the visiting room. Thorn, surprised to find his oldest brother, took the chair across from him.

  "Are you missing me bad enough you couldn't wait until tomorrow to see me when you picked me up?" Thorn braced his elbows on the table.

  "Miss your ugly mug? I see you every morning as I catch a glimpse of my ass in the mirror." Jett lowered his voice. "I've contacted Sorenson and Creamer. They're going after Sparrows tonight. Stay far away."

  He studied his brother, unsurprised that he knew what was planned on the inside to fuck up his release. The fact that he was ahead of the game and had Brikken members to deal with their enemy, pleased him. He wanted to walk out alive.

  "Appreciate it." Thorn leaned back in the chair. "How's my woman?"

  "I think she's got enough talent to start her own construction team." Jett rubbed his hand. "I would've bulldozed the damn farmhouse down, but she has it looking like one of those places on the front of a magazine. She's done you proud, brother."

  "It's livable?"

  Jett chuckled. "Everything but three of the bedrooms that aren't in use."

  "They'll be in use soon." He inhaled deeply, ready to give Nikki some siblings. "Everything else okay?"

  Jett shrugged. "It will be when you're back and behind the wheel."

  The wheel. The truck. The deliveries.

  "Who's driving?" he asked.

  "D-Con."

  "Son of a bitch has a lead foot." He shook his head. "I'll be ready."

  "I know you will." Jett stood. "I'll grab you some food, though looking at you, you don't need any."

  Thorn rubbed his stomach, amused at his brother. After losing weight after his incarceration, he'd used every bit of free time to build muscle. There was nothing else to do inside but workout. He'd spent his fiftieth birthday locked up, and he still had more strength than his brothers and most men half his age.

  With the news of why Jett had come to the prison at the last possible chance, Thorn slipped into silence for the next half hour. Only broken by Jett commenting on how their mom was doing and what stupid thing Stassi had tried to pull lately. Thorn finished the last Butterfinger bar his brother handed him and wiped his beard. The next time Thorn spent time with Jett, he'd be inside the clubhouse around family.

  The announcement came ending visitations. He stood and embraced Jett. His hug more confident and stronger than in the last year and a half.

  "Tomorrow," he said.

  Jett held Thorn's shoulders. "Watch your back, motherfucker."

  Energy coursed through him. Those were fighting words at any other time. Today, they meant the world because they came from his oldest brother.

  "Love you, too, fucker." He stepped away, turned, and walked across the room to line up in front of the guard at the door.

  Tomorrow, he would rebuild his life after his grandfather's image. A strong woman at his side. A child. And, Brikken Motorcycle Club.

  Part 3

  Chapter Thirty Three

  NIKKI DANCED BACK AND forth in front of Jessy. She sighed and untangled the hairbrush from her daughter's hair. "You're not going to have any hair left if you don't stand still."

  "I don't want a braid." Nikki turned around. "I want to go to the clubhouse."

  "I already told you Thorn wants us to stay at the house. He'll come home as soon as he can." She walked out of her daughter's bedroom and put the brush away in
the bathroom.

  Out of habit, she opened the top drawer in the cabinet. Thorn's brush, beard conditioner, and deodorant took up the small space. It wasn't until she'd moved into the house that she'd made the decision to empty his duffle bag that was left at her house when he'd been arrested.

  Besides the change of clothes that she'd washed, folded, and put in the Rubbermaid bin in the bedroom, she'd filled the drawer with his belongings.

  Until today, she couldn't imagine him coming home.

  Now, it all seemed too real.

  She closed the drawer and pressed her hand to her stomach. What would he think of her after a year and a half?

  It was easy for him to sit in prison and claim what he'd done for her was part of his need to protect and care for her as the man in her life, but he'd missed out on a big chunk of time. His sisters were beautiful and spreading their wings. His nieces and nephews were bigger, smarter, and more independent.

  She walked out of the bathroom. Even Nikki wasn't the same little silent girl she'd been when Thorn was around. She now talked non-stop, and Jessy feared she'd forget to breathe as she supplied conversations at home, school, and daycare.

  Thorn could come to regret making her his woman when reality set in.

  Even Johanna warned her Thorn could come back and be angry, moody, and closed off. It was what prison had done to him. But, what if it's what she'd done to him?

  She'd killed a man. Something she still hadn't worked through for herself. The guilt she lived with grew each day. What if Thorn remembered in the middle of the night and feared for his life as he held her?

  Would there be doubts about her love?

  Would he always be looking over his shoulder?

  Would he consider her dangerous?

  She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Nikki stood by the window, watching for Thorn.

  It was one thing for him to say he believed she hadn't meant to kill Ed. But it happened, and he couldn't ignore that she had blood on her hands. That she was capable of murdering someone.