by Murray, Dean
The rest of the meeting went downhill from there as first one, then another of the Council members realized that the reason that Cindi was making such an unusual request was because she was scared of the boy.
It was Per'ce who finally stood and irrevocably killed Cindi's request. "What is it about the boy that terrifies you so? Why do you push for his candidacy when you are so scared for him?"
Cindi shook her head. "It isn't a matter of fear, just that our natures wouldn't be a good match for sponsorship."
It was a half-truth at best, but On'li could see that everyone else viewed it as a blatant lie. The mere fact that Cindi was more scared of Va'del than of looking like a fool told the tale. The old Cindi would have married whoever happened to be available and sponsored him herself after a challenge like that. All just to prove she was right. The fact that she wouldn't do that now, with Va'del, was more telling than any other argument Ja'dir could have come up with.
"Why? Why is it so important to you that he be sponsored?" Per'ce's normal reserve had completely vanished, and his dark green eyes flashed as he all but yelled at the trembling woman before them.
"You don't understand how incredible his potential is. He's the answer to our prayers. The Goddess is trying to help us overcome our ever diminishing numbers."
Per'ce shook his head. "We've heard much the same statement from On'li, but his potential power isn't why you are afraid of him. It does, however, make your fears all the more important. I don't know exactly what kind of evil you're asking us to place next to our hearts, but I for one will not condone doing so!"
##
Mar'li handed her sister-wife a glass of tea as the older woman wearily strode into their sitting room.
"Powers, you look bad. I take it that the petition you were nervous about this morning turned out to be worse than we expected?"
On'li nodded. "Bless you, my heart. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through those meetings is the knowledge you'll have tea waiting for me when I get home, that on particularly bad days I can have more than one cup if I want, despite the expense, and that if I were to resign my position on the Council, you'd probably refuse to ever enter the kitchen again."
Sinking down into one of the low chairs that were situated throughout the room, On'li kicked off her light indoor shoes and buried her toes in the thick, brown gurra-fur rug that covered most of the floor. "The meeting was so bad that Javin headed straight for the practice area to work off some of his frustration. I almost feel sorry for whatever poor guardsman ends up as his sparring partner. Whoever it is will no doubt pay for the new tricks he learns with more than a few bruises."
Mar'li seemed to flinch slightly at the mention of weapons training as she'd sometimes done for as long as On'li had known her.
"As for why the meeting went so terribly, the petitioner was Cindi of all people, and she was trying to do Va'del a favor by requesting he be granted candidate status. She ended up doing more harm than good."
The younger woman looked confused as she sat back down in the chair where her weaving was arranged. "I don't understand; she's from Ma'ark's bloodline. Having someone from one of Ja'dir's closest allies break with his position that the boy is dangerously unstable should have helped immensely."
"It would have, except she must have said something to Ma'ark, or more likely his wife, beforehand. They were ready and waiting, and they knew exactly how to kill the petition. For all that Cindi really does believe Va'del should be made a candidate, she's scared to death to link with him again."
Mar'li shot On'li a look of disbelief, seemingly at a loss for how anyone could be scared of linking with a young man as kind and thoughtful as Va'del.
"You haven't linked with him. In fact since you've never linked with anyone other than Javin, you probably don't realize how unique you are." On'li waved her sister-wife back into her seat and poured her own second cup of tea. "You and I, and all of the Stephens women, are much more comfortable with violence than almost any of the Guadel from the other bloodlines. Even Va'ma represents a group that accepts violence more because it allows them to cover themselves in martial glory than because they believe in violence like we believe in violence."
"I guess I was pretty scared by what I saw in Javin's mind the first time we linked."
Something about Mar'li's statement didn't ring true, but On'li knew from long experience that her shy sister-wife was likely to clam up or run away if questioned, so she didn't probe.
"I remember. And that was after you'd known him for a year, and firmly believed he was the Goddess' gift to women."
Mar'li blushed, but didn't deny that she'd been just as smitten when she'd first married Javin as On'li's words indicated.
"The thing about it is, even your faith in him, or my faith in him the first time I linked with him, wouldn't have been enough if we hadn't seen, either through our eyes or his, the kinds of terrible things that people do to each other. Ignorance can be cured, but when people hurt the innocent out of simple malice, sometimes violence is the only legitimate response."
The younger woman looked for a second as if she wanted to cry, but she managed a smile and nodded at On'li. "I guess I shouldn't judge Cindi too harshly then. She doesn't have either of the advantages we had in dealing with that kind of potential for violence."
"No, she doesn't. Not only that, but unlike you or I when we first met Javin, she knows the difference. Old Oh'scir was about the most peaceable fellow I've ever met. He pretty much had to be for their marriage to work. She's gone from that kind of link, to a link with a boy who makes even I'rone look placid in some ways."
Mar'li gasped, and On'li held up a hand. "You could always tell that I'rone would kill someone at the drop of a hat if he thought it was necessary, but Betreec used to tell me just how badly he would beat himself up after he scared some poor village guardsman into backing down. I don't know that there is a single person I've ever met that hated killing more than he did. The fact that he never flinched away from it if he felt it his duty is part of what made him so special, but that's why both of his wives were made of pretty stern stuff."
On'li continued with a frown. "Va'del on the other hand doesn't feel that kind of regret. He's not bad, and he doesn't kill capriciously, but he never expressed one bit of sorrow over the bandits he killed during the fight when I'rone and his wives were killed. With a good wife or two to make him consider his actions, he'll never really go wrong, but linking with him had to be a shock for poor Cindi. Jain probably would have been in a pretty bad way too, but she's not very powerful, so the link is correspondingly less invasive. Between that and the fear of what would happen if the mage killed him, she may have never gotten a really good feel for some of those kinds of things. That or maybe she trusts him so implicitly it didn't matter to her when she did see what he's capable of."
Mar'li's fingers had stopped operating her loom, and she looked up at On'li with tears in her eyes. "How did you do it? How did you link with him?"
Those aren't just for Va'del, this is about Javin too.
"You know that most of the Guadel don't have children, it seems like there is always too much going on for any of us to slow down long enough for that. Most of the healers do though. My best friend the whole time I was one of the Daughters became a healer about two years before I married Javin."
On'li knew that her sister-wife must be abuzz with questions, but if so, the younger woman did a good job keeping her silence. The poor thing was always struggling to be brave, but On'li knew Mar'li sometimes wondered if Javin could possibly love his second wife as much as his first. It was a natural fear considering the decades of history that had occurred before her marriage to them and nothing that On'li had been able to do had made things any better.
"She was a year older, and the training for healers is shorter, so she was married and had just given birth to a little girl when I married Javin and thought my world was going to fall apart."
Mar'li started at the information, obvi
ously surprised to hear that Javin and On'li hadn't always been as happy together as they were now.
"I was deeply disturbed by what I saw in his mind. I kept trying to change him, to make him less violent. The fact that I was so obviously disapproving of such an integral part of Javin made him just as miserable as I was. Who knows what would've happened if our patrol hadn't taken us to my friend's village."
It was obvious that she had Mar'li's attention, so On'li continued. "We were sitting there watching her baby sleep when she told me that she'd been wrong all along. She had only thought she was a pacifist. If it came to protecting her little girl, she'd kill someone in a heartbeat and never look back. I think I realized then that almost all of us have a capacity for violence. It is just that certain people, like Javin, like Va'del, are more honest with themselves about it all."
Mar'li was in tears, and it would have been obvious now to anyone that her question hadn't been about how On'li could stand linking with Va'del. "I try to link with him, but it's so hard. The violent texture to his mind makes me think about what happened to me when I was little."
On'li was kneeling before her sister-wife now, arms wrapped around the younger woman. "Is that what's pulled at you all these years, what's kept you from ever completely trusting him? It's okay. He understands and he doesn't love you any less for it. Just remember that he isn't your father, and although he does have a bit of a temper, the only time he's ever done violence was to stop something bad from happening."
Her sister-wife nodded, and On'li felt more than a little hope that the one small barrier that had remained between the three of them for so many years was finally about to come down.
Chapter 5
Jain thought once again about retreating to her room to study, but knew each time she did so it was that much harder the next time to stay out and endure the silence as the rest of the Daughters continued to ignore her. Actually, now that she thought about it, having the Daughters just ignore her had been relatively pleasant compared to the constant, sniping attacks Mali had instigated since she returned.
Speak of the Dark Powers.
Mali walked over with one of her friends, and the pair just happened to sit in the two chairs closest to where Jain was trying to make it through a text outlining the very dry, unimportant history of the smaller towns established within the last two centuries.
"I know; I only wish I'd been there to see it. Be'ter said that Va'del tried to run away. That's why the clumsy coward got hurt. Of course Be'ter really did try to pull his blow, but how could anyone possibly have expected for their opponent to suddenly turn their back on him like that?"
Mali giggled and tossed her long, black hair in response to some comment from her friend. "I guess since we are talking about him, maybe Be'ter should have expected as much. I just wish I could have been there to see it all. Be'ter's so brave. I mean, it's a stain on all our honor that Va'del is able to take classes with the candidates, someone needs to stand up to him. Especially after he beat Be'ter in that honor match by using such underhanded, sneaky tactics."
Jain was seething inside, the breathy way that Mali said Be'ter's name was almost enough to make her sick, but she flatly refused to let the two girls know they were getting to her. The way Be'ter was constantly bullying the younger candidates into doing whatever he wanted should have been enough to warn even Mali off, but she instead seemed more and more smitten with him by the day.
Jain tried, unsuccessfully, to ignore the rest of Mali's conversation, which revolved around Be'ter's many supposed virtues, all of which ended up being compared to Va'del's lack thereof. Under other circumstances Mali's gushing might have been humorous. The stupid thing couldn't even decide whether Be'ter would have craftily tricked the bandits into surrendering without spilling a drop of blood, or whether he would have single-handedly cut them all down, showing no mercy because of the many crimes they'd committed.
People that blinded by love should have a sword put through them, a dull, rusted one.
About the time Mali started in about how handsome and tall (without being too tall like Va'del was certain to become) Be'ter was, the time sphere sitting on a shelf opposite the doorway completed its slow change between colors, and Jain got up and left.
Thank goodness Ah'bi gave me a reason to be out of the dormitories after curfew. Extra assignments indeed.
Jain had just left the dormitories when one of the newest candidates came barreling around the corner and ran into her. Luckily the boy was so small that even running full tilt like he was, the impact only sent them staggering into opposite walls rather than knocking them both over.
The boy threw a muttered apology back over one shoulder as he sprinted off, a folded scrap of paper clasped tightly in his little hand, leaving Jain to stare bemusedly after him. It was more than a little unusual for one of the younger candidates to wander the area just before curfew. A moment's thought placed him as the newest arrival to the Capital, a shy boy named Tim'i, who Jain would have expected to cut off his own finger before knowingly breaking a rule.
The rest of the trip to the cavern where Va'del had originally come to soak his feet after a day of harassment by the other apprentices and trainees was as uneventful as expected.
Carefully making her way around the last few dark corners, Jain was happy to hear Va'del's breathing, but surprised when she realized it was coming from the very edge of the shelf they used as a bench.
"Are you soaking your feet again?"
Va'del groaned slightly as he shifted to make room for her. "Yes, it turns out that a large number of the trainees have become incredibly clumsy again now that Alir has been kicked out of the Guard."
Jain felt disbelief wash over her. "I don't understand. After all that's happened, after the things you've done, they've started that kind of petty harassment again?"
Va'del hugged her and then nodded. "I suspect everything that's happened probably makes things worse. They look at me and tell themselves I'm not anything special, that it was just luck, or favoritism, that got me where I am. Most of them probably think it should have been them in that cave cutting down bandits so they could return home to a hero's welcome. The fact that Be'ter then proceeded to wipe the floor with me means that none of the candidates are scared of me either, especially not while I'm still weak and recovering. They'll probably start in on me soon too."
"I suppose it completely escapes them that the only welcome you got was being thrown into a cell without food or heat."
There was a slight splash as Va'del pulled out one of his feet and put the other one in the hot water of the pool. "I guess not."
Jain could hear the discomfort in Va'del's voice and consequently didn't protest when he changed the subject.
"Not that I'm unhappy to see you, but I thought you weren't going to be able to come visit me anymore."
Jain opened her mouth to tell him the lie she'd spent the last several days preparing, but found she couldn't get the words out. She'd never been anything but honest with him and wasn't sure she really wanted to change that now. Even assuming she was ready to lie, she wasn't sure she could actually lull him to sleep. All the things that could go wrong as a result of being honest with him flashed through Jain's mind, but she still found herself telling him the truth.
"I have to tell you something."
Feeling Va'del stiffen beside her, the teenager rushed on before he could assume something worse than the truth.
"One of my instructors sent me here. Supposedly I'm in her rooms receiving supplemental help as a result of a 'sudden deterioration of my classroom performance,' but that's just a cover so I can come here without getting in trouble with the Mistress."
"Which one?" Va'del's voice had the distracted sound of someone who was grasping at inconsequential details in an effort to avoid thinking about what he thought was coming.
"Ah'bi. You know, my law instructor, the one who is married to Fi'lin."
Va'del's sudden start revealed that he hadn't known
the last piece of information, and Jain wondered if that was because the boys didn't gossip as much as the girls did, or if it was just the result of the way the other boys shunned him.
"I was there helping when Ah'bi and the healer patched you up. Fi'lin was there for most of the time too, and he was angry about what happened. Not the yell and throw things around the room kind of furious, but he was definitely mad. I didn't understand most of what they said, but he seemed really worried about what your loss would mean to discipline among the candidates."
Jain hoped that Va'del's silence was a good sign and pressed on. "He said he'd all but given up hope on most of the class as a result of Be'ter's influence and bullying until you came along and gave them an example of someone who successfully stood up to him. It seemed like he figured your loss would lead to things going back to the way they were, so he asked Guadel Ah'bi to make sure that you would have better odds of winning the next time you faced off against Be'ter."
"What do you mean?"
"You told me that Jasmin made it easier for you to put on muscle. It wasn't an augmentation that came with the link, but a permanent change to your body, kind of like what they did to make you able to survive outside where the air is thinner. We did some things like that so that you'd have a chance to beat him next time."
"So none of you thought I could do it on my own?" The bitterness in Va'del's voice momentarily surprised Jain until she made a conscious effort to place herself in his shoes.
"No, it wasn't that. I mean it was, but not like you think. We all knew that you weren't fully recovered from everything, but the kind of changes we did to you are things that Be'ter's sponsors must have already done to him while they were out on circuit. I don't think they were supposed to, at least not until they had approval from all of the instructors. Based on how mad Fi'lin was, I don't think they ever got that approval."