Breakout (San Francisco Strikers Book 1)

by Stephanie Kay

  “Could’ve gotten more, but you wanted that no movement clause.”

  “I want to stay here. My family’s here—”

  “Penny’s here,” Sam interrupted.

  “Yeah, she is.” He didn’t care how wistful or smitten he sounded. He wanted to take her home with him tonight so they could celebrate his news, but he had to be on a plane in an hour.

  “So, this is real?” Sam asked, disbelief in his eyes, and Ethan bristled.

  “Yes, it’s real. How could you doubt it?”

  “Because I’ve known you for years and settling down was never your thing.”

  “People change.” He hated having to justify himself to anyone, his agent included.

  “No they don’t. They pretend to change but it never lasts. Can’t teach an old dog new tricks isn’t just a myth,” Sam said.

  “You’re an ass, you know that? And who’s to say that I haven’t changed?”

  “Sure, you aren’t the same guy who was caught with Ivan’s wife. But settling down? Never thought I’d see it. But she is the perfect girl for you to date. Stable job. Not a puck bunny. Not your typical type. Looks great on paper. Probably not solely interested in your money and celebrity. I couldn’t have picked someone more perfect to get management to see that you’re not the party boy you once were. I’m sure the owners loved that you were settling down. They fought the bigger deal a lot harder before you started bringing around your good luck charm. Guess she’s good for all aspects of your game.”

  Ethan glared at the guy. He was skating on damn thin ice. “Dating her has helped my game, I can’t deny that, but—”

  A gasp cut him off before he could say anything else and he spun, his heart freezing in his chest as Penny stared at him in horror.

  Oh, fuck.

  Chapter 23

  Perfect girl to date. Looks great on paper. Ivan’s wife. Bigger deal. Dating her has helped my game.

  The words rattled around in her head as her heart stopped, unsure of how to process each crushing comment she’d heard. She’d known everything was too good to be true, and Ethan not refuting anything his agent had said just drove that point home with brutal clarity.

  How could she have been so stupid, and so naïve? She hadn’t missed the scorn in Sam’s voice when he’d joked about Ethan settling down. And who the fuck was Ivan? Did he have anything to do with Ethan’s abrupt trade? Ethan never told her what exactly caused the move.

  “Penny, how much did you hear?” Panic was clear in his eyes. Panic, not remorse. Well, maybe a little remorse. He moved toward her, and she stepped back.

  “Enough,” she croaked out. Her eyes welled with tears, and she needed to escape before a single one fell. She’d thought he was different. She spun on her heel, clutching her book to her chest, armor to hold in her breaking heart, and bolted.

  “Shit,” she heard him shout, his voice fading as she pushed through the side door, into the stairwell, and then paused. She had no idea how to get to the parking lot, and she was not going back to find someone to ask. She headed up the stairs, hoping it would put her on the correct level to get the hell out of there.

  She concentrated on each step, her vision blurry, the possibility of faceplanting a real dilemma. Fuck. What had just happened?

  The door slammed below her, his voice echoed around, and she wished she could disappear. She didn’t want to talk about it, to hear his excuses. She’d heard them before. From Michael. Not that he had any place in this moment. But there it was, proof again that she was a horrible judge of character.

  “Penny, stop,” he said, his steps pounding behind her. She wasn’t sure how she heard them over her rapidly beating heart.

  He finally reached her, grabbed her hand and forced her to turn and face him on the landing just outside the door to her hopeful salvation. She’d been so close. “Ethan, please. Just let me go,” she said.

  “Sam was being an ass and none of what he said was the truth.”

  “But you agree with him,” she said, hating the pain in her voice. She refused to look at him and yanked her hands from his. He released her easily.

  “Penny, please. I was just about to tell him to shove it. He was out of line and I am so sorry you heard any of that.”

  “Why? Because you didn’t believe anything that he said or because you didn’t want me to hear the truth?”

  “None of that was the truth,” he repeated, but it sounded hollow in her ear. She was tired of excuses.

  “Please. It’s just a game to you. Everything is about the game, and playing a game. And who’s Ivan? Why were you traded?” She couldn’t stop herself from asking, but she didn’t want to know. Not if it was going to crush her heart even more. Had he been a cheater? Were all men cheaters? She started to shut down, wishing she could curl up in a ball and wake when the nightmare of falling in love with another liar was over.

  He grasped her hand again, and she tried to pull back, but he held strong. “I’ll be honest, my trade was because of a misunderstanding. The trainer’s wife threw herself at me, and her husband walked in on us. But I never started anything. I would never pursue a married woman—an attached woman. She kissed me, that’s it. You have to believe that.”

  “Why should I? Your team didn’t.” Her chest clenched in pain. Why hadn’t she questioned the trade? Why hadn’t she done more than just a cursory search online when she’d discovered who he really was? She would’ve known to steer clear, regardless of how many times he claimed that most of what was online was false. Rumors started from somewhere, a kernel of truth that exploded into the ridiculous in some cases, but there was always some truth in most rumors.

  “It was an excuse they used to trade me. They needed the cap space for one of the guys coming out of his rookie contract. I was easily expendable because my numbers sucked and my behavior caused a lot of grief with PR. But I didn’t pursue this woman, and the truth eventually came out. Penny, you know me. I would never do that…”

  “Do I? Until this moment we never talked about your trade. You never wanted to tell me what happened. Was it because you were ashamed? Did she really throw herself at you? Did you really pursue me because I looked good on paper?” she asked. He sounded so sincere, but was it a game? How could she trust him?

  “I was pissed about the trade and since the story wasn’t out there, I didn’t want to rehash it and tell you about it. They swept most of it under the rug when they found out what really happened, so it never hit the media, but I swear to you, nothing happened. I’ll give you Ivan’s number. He’ll confirm it if you don’t believe me. But I need you to believe me. I’m not proud of who I was, but I’ve worked hard to fix my image this season.”

  She wanted to trust him. To look into his blue eyes and believe the sincerity and hurt they currently held, but she’d been played before.

  “Maybe you’re just dating me to get back at me for leaving you in Italy. I should walk away before you hurt me even more.” There. She’d said it. That idea that had niggled in the back of her brain, that called out to every doubt she’d ever had.

  “How could you think that of me? After all this time? You’re panicking, so you’re grasping at anything, no matter how ridiculous. Sam was talking out of his ass,” he said.

  She ignored him. “So you didn’t date me to get a better contract? Pretending you’re settling down didn’t help your career? I’ve seen the pictures online. You never stay with the same woman for very long. It was only a matter of time for us.” With each word from her mouth, her heart tightened a bit more. Had she learned nothing from Michael?

  “That had nothing to do with it. I love you.”

  Her heart stopped, and she took in a quivering breath. He looked so earnest. But how could she trust him? Trust herself?

  “Now you say it? Of course you say it when we are fighting. Where were your words before? You could’ve told me last night. This morning. Any. Other. Time. Saying it for the first time during an argument is a guilt mechanism, not an
actual feeling.”

  “That’s total bullshit. I was waiting for the right time. I’d planned to tell you tonight, when I gave you the key to my house and asked you to come over whenever you wanted. Maybe move in, if you wanted.”

  “I don’t believe you. It’s too convenient,” she whispered, hating the pain in her voice. This wasn’t supposed to happen again. And so soon.

  “I don’t want to do this now. You’re reading way more into that conversation than was there. Sam was an ass. Yes, I have a track record that isn’t the best. Yes, I did things in New York that I’m not proud of. But I’m not that guy anymore. And you’re different. You’ve always been different.” She would not acknowledge the pain in his eyes. It was easily faked.

  “I’m sure you say that to all the women who question their importance in your life,” she shot back, refusing to back down.

  “There’s no one else I ever wanted to say that to.”

  “Even Julie?” she scoffed.

  “Julie has no place in this conversation. And we were kids when we dated. She was never as important to me as you are. I never had feelings as strong for her as I have for you. You have to believe that. Believe that I truly love you.”

  “I just don’t know,” she said, trying to tug free, but he held on tighter.

  “And now I have to get on a fucking plane, and I don’t know how to fix this. I’m not just trying to save face here. I love you.”

  She looked away. “I don’t know if I can trust you, Ethan. I’m not like the women you’ve dated before. I’m just me. And you’re a star athlete. Why would you settle for me when you have so many options?”

  “I was never settling for you. I settled for them. They were never what I wanted. Goddammit. I want you, Penny. Why can’t you believe me? Trust me?”

  “Because I don’t want to get hurt again,” she said, stiffening when he pulled her close.

  The shrill ring of his phone echoed through the concrete walls and he angrily swiped it on.

  “Give me a minute. I’ll be there,” he barked into the phone before ending the call.

  “Fuck. And now I have to get on a plane with this—with us—up in the air.”

  “Just go, Ethan,” she said, breaking free from his hold.

  He tugged her back, locking his arms around her. “This is not over. Don’t think for one minute that we aren’t going to figure this out. Trust me, Penny. Trust us. This started between us when we didn’t know who the other person was, how intertwined our lives already were before that first kiss in Italy. That has to count for something.”

  “I can’t do this now,” she said, a sob breaking free, and he cursed again in pure frustration.

  “This isn’t over. And we are going to talk about it when I get back. Don’t push this aside because of what you thought you heard, what my stupid agent said, that I didn’t agree with. I never agreed with his statement.”

  “And you never disagreed,” she whispered, finally breaking his hold.

  He reluctantly let her go, and she pushed through the door, giving him one last look before it closed behind her. Tears ran down her cheeks and she tried to catch her breath as she made her way out of the arena.

  She wanted to trust him, to trust her own gut, but it scared the hell out of her. What if she was wrong again? She’d survived Michael’s betrayal. She wasn’t sure she’d survive Ethan breaking her heart.

  He needed to punch something. Preferably Sam. And now he had to get on a damn plane, and he wouldn’t be back to fix this mess for four days. He headed back to the scene of the crime to grab his bag. Sam was seated at the table. He stood when Ethan walked into the office.

  “Did you talk to her? Everything good?”

  “Nope,” he bit out, clenching his fists at his side to resist giving into his urge to inflict bodily harm to the man in front of him.

  “I’m sorry, man. Sorry for mentioning New York. And, I had no idea you actually cared about her.”

  “Seriously? I was never that bad.”

  Sam snorted. “Yeah, you were. But you were single and the women knew upfront that it was never going to be anything more. Guess you didn’t have that conversation with Penny.”

  “No. It was always more with her,” he said, his shoulders slumping for a brief second, before he straightened up. He refused to believe it was over. He’d get her to trust him again, no matter what he had to do. Fuck. This was a disaster.

  “I am sorry about what I said. Should I talk to her?”

  “No. You’ve done enough. She probably wouldn’t listen to you anyway. I’m going to fix this. I have to.”

  He grabbed his bag and headed to meet up with the team. The chartered bus was leaving in a few minutes for the airport, so he had to hustle.

  “Let me know if you need anything. Apology, booze, a face to punch,” Sam called out.

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, walking down the hall, moving further away from his car and the overwhelming urge to say fuck it and go after her. But he had a job to do, a team to support. She had to understand that.

  The key he had made for her burned a hole in his pocket. Maybe if he’d waved the thing in her face, she would’ve believed him.

  ***

  By day four, he was a healthy combination of nervous, disappointed, and pissed. Mostly pissed. He’d told her he loved her. Why didn’t that count for anything? He’d only told one other woman that he loved her and that woman had turned around and married his brother. And Penny thought she had trust issues.

  Sure, he hadn’t picked the best moment to say those three words, but he’d panicked. And he hadn’t been lying. He loved her. More than he’d ever loved anyone else. More than he thought possible. And what had she done with that? She’d bolted. For someone so clumsy, she was good at running away.

  How could they make this work if she ran when she panicked? How could she trust him so little to not hear him out? Would she run every time things got tense?

  Those questions had played on loop in his head for the last four days. Four days of her ignoring his calls and his texts. Four days of him playing like total shit on the ice. They’d squeaked out a win last night, but had lost the first two games of the road trip. Luckily, one had been in overtime, so they’d walked away with three out of six points. He’d gotten a lucky bounce last night to win the game, but his head wasn’t in it, and that was a major problem.

  They’d announced his new contract the first morning of the road trip, and he’d repaid them by playing like crap. The league analysts were already circling, questioning if he deserved a deal that big, that long. He wasn’t getting any younger. It pissed him the hell off. He’d earned that contract, those guaranteed years of playing with the Strikers. His heart was messing with his head, and he needed to get it together.

  He’d never had a woman affect his play and that shit had to stop now. Yes, he loved her. And no, he wasn’t ready to give up on what they had, but he could only go so far. She had to meet him halfway. She’d thrown his trust, and his love, in his face. How many times was he willing to put himself out there for her?

  And he needed to focus on his career. He’d put that mindset into place last night, and it’d paid off. But he needed to do better than scoring one goal on a lucky bounce. He had to contribute, get back to how he’d been playing before she’d bolted. This was his job and if he had to push her aside, he would. She clearly didn’t care enough to fight for them.

  But right now he wasn’t thinking straight. He was exhausted from the long flight. They’d left Montreal in the early morning hours, and it was still morning when they landed in San Francisco seven hours later. He needed his bed and blackout curtains, but he hated getting on the wrong sleep schedule, so he’d try to stay awake at least until the afternoon. They didn’t have a practice scheduled until tomorrow, and no games tonight or tomorrow night.

  Monday was the first home game back. Would she be there? He shook his head. Why would she? He hated how melodramatic he sounded, but t
he ball was firmly in her court, and he resisted the urge to text her and remind her of that.

  She wouldn’t be able to dodge him forever. He’d almost called Robert. His uncle knew exactly how Ethan felt about Penny, but roping her boss in to help Ethan’s love life was not a good idea. She’d freak and bolt for good, so he’d held back.

  When the plane touched down, the guys exited to their waiting cars. Goodbyes were grunted, a few guys mentioned meeting up for dinner, but they steered clear of him. He hadn’t been subtle in his frustrations, and he wasn’t happy with the number of heads he’d bitten off in the last few days. They were giving him space.

  Even Baz hadn’t teased him. That was saying something.

  Chapter 24

  “Spill,” Amanda said when Penny opened her door that weekend.

  “What?”

  “You’ve put us both off for two days now, and something is going on, so we are ambushing you and demanding answers,” Amanda said.

  “And we brought pizza,” Lexi said, holding up the box when she walked in behind Amanda, shooting Penny a small smile.

  Penny had successfully avoided talking about it for the last three days since Ethan had left. Her shoulders slumped. Sam’s words. Ethan’s laugh. They echoed in her head, drumming up every doubt she’d ever had. She’d tried to find anything about Ethan and the trainer’s wife online, but nothing came up. At that point she’d begun to doubt her doubts.

  “I think I’ve made a mess of things,” she said, shutting the door behind them. She walked into the living room to plop down on the couch. They knew where everything was if they were thirsty.

  “I knew something was up,” Amanda said.

  “What happened?” Lexi asked, grabbing a bottle of wine and glasses from the kitchen.

  She told them about that night. About Sam and Ethan. About why he left New York. About Ethan running after her, trying to explain. She should’ve listened to him. After dwelling on it for a few days, and reading the texts he sent her each night, she’d known she was wrong to assume. She bit back her snort. What did they say about assuming?