Book Read Free

Listen Here

Page 48

by Sandra L. Ballard


  singing in their metal chairs.

  The bathhouse that night was silent,

  young Baptists moving from shower to sink

  with the stricken look of nuns.

  Inside a stall, I stripped, slipped my clothes outside the curtain,

  and turned for the faucet—

  but there, splayed on the shower's wall,

  was a luna moth, the eyes of its wings fixed on me.

  It shimmered against the cement block:

  sherbet-green, plumed, a flamboyant verse

  lodged in a page of drab ink.

  I waved my hands to scare it out,

  but, blinkless, it stayed latched on.

  It let me move so close my breath

  stroked the fur on its animal back.

  One by one the showers cranked dry.

  The bathhouse door slammed a final time.

  I pulled my clothes back over my sweat, drew

  the curtain shut, and walked into a dark

  pricked by the lightning bugs’ inscrutable morse.

  BARBARA PRESNELL

  (April 8, 1954–)

  For generations, Barbara Presnell's family has lived in the rolling hills of Randolph County, North Carolina, where she was born and grew up. “Family,” she claims, “both my nuclear and my large, extended family, past and present, is perhaps the most important ingredient to my sanity and success, insanity and failure. My birth family and kin, though many are long dead, continue to inspire and limit me.”

  She completed two degrees in English from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro: a B.A. in 1976, as well as an M.F.A. in creative writing in 1979. She also earned an M.A. in English from the University of Kentucky in 1989 and has done additional study at the University of Iowa (1989), Lexington Theological Seminary (1991–1992), and the University of Minnesota (1998).

  In 1980, she married newspaperman Bill Keesler, and they have one son, born in 1985.

  She has taught expository and creative writing and literature in a number of colleges, including Hazard Community College, Lexington Community College, and the University of Kentucky. She has worked as an Artist-in-Residence for the North Carolina Arts Council and the Kentucky Arts Council. Currently, she is a faculty member of the English department at the University of North Carolina in Charlotte, North Carolina.

  During the years when she lived in Kentucky, she explains, “after nearly 20 years of prose writing,…I began writing poetry, and I don't think it was mere coincidence. Rather, I believe the richness of the land, the language, the stories, and the people—all familiar from my own home in N.C.—metamorphosed my writing into a new form, more natural and far more satisfying.” Settings for her work are usually in either her birth home of North Carolina or her “adopted” home of Kentucky.

  Her work has been supported by the Kentucky Foundation for Women (1987), the Kentucky Arts Council (1993), the Lexington, Kentucky Arts and Cultural Council, and the North Carolina Arts Council (2001–2002). She describes her first poetry chapbook, Snake Dreams, as “a collection of mountain-grown poems.” It won the Zoe Kincaid Brockman Award from the North Carolina Poetry Society.

  OTHER SOURCES TO EXPLORE

  PRIMARY

  Poetry: Los Hijos (2002), Unravelings (1998), Snake Dreams (1994), “Words Are My Only Way To Get Free”: A Celebration of Poetry (1990), “A Word Explodes”: Poems From the Mountains, A Collection of Works By Students in Leslie, Letcher, and Perry Counties, 1988–1989 (1989), “The Mountains in Winter are Like Mashed Potatoes”: Poetry in the Schools: A Collection of Poems by Students in Breathitt, Knott, Letcher, and Perry Counties (1987–1988) (1988).

  SECONDARY

  Annalee Allen, “Local Author's Poems Relate to Life's Common Situation,” The Dispatch (4 February 1999), A5. Juanita Bouser, “Catawba Professor Finds Poetic Bliss,” Salisbury Post (24 September 1995), B4. Jill Doss-Raines, “Mexico is Focus for Poetry” The Dispatch [Lexington, NC] (17 October 2002), A5. Claire Johnston, “UK Instructor Attempts to Bridge Literary Gap” Kentucky Kernal (27 April 1995). Ellis Normandi, review of Snake Dreams, Wind Magazine (1995), 97. Shelby Stephenson, “Presnell Poems Show Her Tar Heel Roots,” review of Snake Dreams, The Pilot [Southern Pines, NC] (27 February 1995).

  IN THE KITCHEN WE STRING BEANS

  from Snake Dreams (1994)

  They mound like a grave on today's front page,

  covering the news that a soldier was hung,

  strung up like a ham, in some faraway country.

  My mother, my grandmother, my aunt, me.

  We snip heads from beans,

  unthread their sides then snap the green flesh

  into finger joints we'll cook for supper.

  I listen as they talk of cancer,

  how suddenly it comes, how quickly it works,

  how Herbert Combs planted his corn

  on the slant of his hill two weeks

  before he died, how old Ethel,

  thin as a vine this Sunday at church,

  won't last long.

  The soldier's smiling face peeks at me

  through beans in my pile. His newsprint eyes

  dampen with dew that came in from the garden.

  His skin softens. He is a boy,

  my son's age, arms and legs

  like tender pods, plucking beans

  from stems before the season

  takes them to seed.

  We are a family of women

  who grow older than oaks.

  Every summer we string beans,

  slicing out the imperfections

  with a blade. Grandmother strings

  slowest of us all, for beans slip

  between her thick fingers too often

  for speed.

  I am waiting to die, she told me

  two nights ago. Now she says

  how good these beans will taste

  with a spoonful of grease and a

  bite of cornbread.

  CLARISSA AND THE SECOND COMING

  from Snake Dreams (1994)

  An ordinary woman, why her?

  she wonders. A sinner, even, not

  musically inclined, just one half-tuned

  ear and a taste for rock and roll.

  But there he is, night black

  hair that wind and rhythm wave,

  lip snarling when he smiles, eyes pure

  and blue as the sky over Graceland.

  She watches him, eight-year-old

  boy tight as an E string,

  riding his bike like any other boy.

  He doesn't know who he is,

  how he'll change the world,

  how already he's changed her,

  how at night while he sleeps,

  she kneels by his bed

  cradling his immaculate hand,

  whispering thank-yous for miracles

  to the moon and stars

  that stud the blue suede sky.

  WHEN YOU LOSE A CHILD

  from Snake Dreams (1994)

  At the shopping mall at Christmas,

  in a sheet cold hospital bed, or

  just to age,

  it doesn't matter when or where:

  first your breath will stop and

  you will think you are going to die.

  Your head and face will pound like

  someone pummeling you with years,

  and though you have been here

  a hundred times, you will not know

  where you are.

  You will gather your wits like deputies

  and say, we will find him,

  he isn't really gone.

  There, peeking in the toy store window,

  there, by the fountain,

  standing with those shoppers,

  moving quick as deer through

  red and coated crowds, his hair,

  his clothes, his face.

  You will imagine that someone else has him,

  some other kind mother,

  perha
ps, some criminal,

  you will picture him grown

  to manhood without you.

  You report that he is missing:

  there was a small boy, they tell you,

  by himself, in those same clothes.

  Your senses are as sharp now

  as they will ever be. Your eyes

  could see the scar on his chin in Africa,

  you could hear his voice calling you

  from Mars, and if even one hair

  of his arm brushed yours,

  you would know it.

  Then if you are lucky

  you will see him, squatting

  by the trains, staring down

  at the trains, and just like that,

  he will show you how they

  go round and round and tell you

  again and again how he loves them.

  But maybe he will not be there,

  and not in the toy store,

  not waiting on the sidewalk,

  not today, not this week, this

  month, this year. Still you search

  in the faces of children, you will reach

  for his hand as you walk,

  in the hollow night

  you will hear him cry,

  in your dreams, he will sleep

  against you, his body

  pressed to you, his perfect curve

  from now on the perfect curve

  of you.

  SNAKE DREAMS

  from Snake Dreams (1994)

  Last night I dreamed a rattlesnake

  moved into my house like

  it was his and he was home at last.

  In his slick belly a lump

  exactly the shape and size of a

  hummingbird throbbed like a heartbeat

  and I swear I saw a smile

  on those reptile lips. Even the cats,

  mean as mountain lions, ducked behind chairs

  when he trilled his tongue.

  Let's just let him have the place, I said.

  I've been wanting a larger house,

  a smaller house, whatever.

  But my sister stepped toward him,

  let him nudge her leg like a colt

  then strangled him with her fingers,

  pinching just below those green eyes.

  He played the tambourine until he dropped.

  Now I know there are many things in these mountains

  to be wary of besides rattlers.

  I know too what they say about

  snake dreams, that I am running from

  some man, or ought to be.

  But it was only yesterday I was thinking,

  Spring is coming to these hills.

  See how pale green splatters against

  winter-burned trees, red Judas bleeds

  like birth. Stand at the top

  where rattlesnakes are waking up

  and look down at the twisting North Fork,

  how it yawns and stretches then coils,

  pulsing with the overflow of the season,

  see how it spills out and moves in,

  brown and venomous.

  RITA SIMS QUILLEN

  (September 8, 1954–)

  Poet Rita Quillen's roots go five generations deep in the hills of southwest Virginia. She was born in Hiltons, Virginia, and grew up on the family farm in Scott County first settled by her great-great-grandparents. She received both her B.S. (1978) and her M.A. in English (1985) from East Tennessee State University. Married to her “high school sweetheart,” Quillen has two children.

  Her M.A. thesis, Looking for Native Ground: Contemporary Appalachian Poetry, published by the Appalachian Consortium Press in 1989, remains an indispensable reference work. Other contributions to Appalachian literature include her work as associate editor for A Southern Appalachian Reader (1988) and her bibliography “Modern and Contemporary Mountain Poets,” published in Appalachian Journal (fall 1985).

  In 1987, Quillen's chapbook, October Dusk, won favorable reviews. “Rita Quiilen's poems are the result of her craft chipping away imaginatively at her experience,” said Jim Wayne Miller. “Coming on one of her poems is like finding an arrowhead turned up in a freshly plowed field.” A second collection of poetry, Counting the Sums, elicited praise from Robert Morgan, who said, “Rita Quillen has a voice you will not forget.” Fred Chappell observed that “Rita Sims Quillen shines with truth, even in her darkest lines, and what she says is as true as the world's unceasing breath.” In her review of Counting the Sums, George Ella Lyon says, “She looks at life and herself through the lens of birth-family and marriage-family, building to a conclusion about her job as a writer, the one between generations who must speak for and to them all.”

  Quillen lives in southwest Virginia and is on the English faculty at Mountain Empire Community College in Big Stone Gap, Virginia. When asked to describe herself, Quillen says, “I can flatfoot, shoot well, burp extremely loud for a girl, have really, really good teeth, and hope I don't look like my driver's license photo.”

  OTHER SOURCES TO EXPLORE

  PRIMARY

  Poetry: Counting the Sums (1995), October Dusk (1987). Autobiographical essay: “Counting the Sums,” in Bloodroot (1998), ed. Joyce Dyer, 219–24. Essays on poets and poetry: Looking for Native Ground: Contemporary Appalachian Poetry (1989). Recorded interview: Tell it on the Mountain: Appalachian Women Writers (Appalshop, 1997).

  SECONDARY

  George Brosi, “Booklist and Notes,” Appalachian Heritage 26:2 (spring 1996), 74. Joyce Dyer, “Rita Quillen,” in Bloodroot, 218. Don Johnson, “Staring at the Wind: A Conversation with Rita Sims Quillen,” in Her Words (2002), ed. Felicia Mitchell, 220–34. George Ella Lyon, review of Counting the Sums, Appalachian Journal 24:1 (fall 1996), 76–77. Barbara Smith, review of October Dusk, Appalachian Heritage 15:4 (fall 1987), 67.

  JULY 18, 1966

  from Counting the Sums (1995)

  In the days before air conditioning

  we lay in the muggy dark

  smelled our own sweat

  no hope of sleep

  while the fans roared

  drowning the night chirp away.

  In the next room my mother

  lay swollen and weak

  with her last child;

  my father slept heavy as death

  under a blanket of summer heat.

  My childhood summers

  are not memorable

  just images

  of swimming in coffee-colored water

  sitting like a moth on the front steps

  answering my neighbor's cattle call

  riding and riding my bike

  and long, long nights of heat

  staring at the ceiling

  trying to accept the idea of eternity

  touching myself

  fantasizing a life

  where I was the star, a hero

  not a secondrate extra.

  And this:

  the sound, an eerie sound

  in the night six weeks

  before my sister was born

  of my mother crying in her bed.

  How could my father not hear?

  I heard no voice of comfort

  I imagined his breath

  steady as his will

  her tears blown away by the fans.

  On July 18, 1966

  I learned this

  about women and their crying:

  tears belong to the nighttime

  you must comfort yourself

  your daughter will do her own weeping.

  WOMAN WRITER

  from Counting the Sums (1995)

  Spending the days attending to bodily functions

  our own and everyone else's

  gives us a handicap.

  Words crawl into the laundry basket

  hide among the socks

  circle and scream in the toilet

  hang in the closet and beg

  for freedom.

  While my son warm
s in my arms

  a line that could make me famous

  leaps up in my face

  spits and leaves by the back door.

  I cannot throw down my baby

  and chase into the air

  I am too tired anyway,

  too tired.

  I dream words that have magic

  I dream lines that make my heart

  beat faster in the heat of recognition.

  Today

  a poem becomes a morning song

  a psalm almost

  but dies after a few verses

  drowned in the everyday.

  A lost poem swirling down

  blurred like the face

  of a childhood friend

  lands on my doorstep.

  In the morning

  I open the door

  and step on the poem.

  Writhing, gasping words

  try to cry out,

  get off the page.

  My children come to hover

  while they watch my face

  just watch and wait.

  I USED TO BE A TEACUP

  from Counting the Sums (1995)

  I used to be a teacup

  bone and gold-rimmed

  thin-lipped and light

  slim-handled

  easy to hold.

  Then I became a mug

  heavy and practical

  people warmed their hands on me

  warm steam rising

  scented the air

  with home and good.

  If I live I'll grow to be

  a gravy boat

  sailing around

  smug and self-satisfied

  filled with an imperfect, lumpy mixture

  comforting and familiar

  only brought out on special occasions.

  DISCOVERED

  from October Dusk (1987)

  A skinny girl with cornstalk legs

  and hair like straw

  was mocked by her classmates

  for her Goodwill clothes,

  her self-pitying seriousness.

  While they attended ballgames

  and worshipped Max Factor,

  she hid safely in her room

  reading big thick books

  full of questions

  and very small print.

 

‹ Prev