Dance with Deception: Scandalous Secrets, Book 1 - Exclusive Edition (Scandalous Secrets - Exclusive Edition)

by Tracy Goodwin

  “Arrogant? Patronizing? Infuriating?”

  He tilted his head to the side. “All of the adjectives listed and then some?”

  “Apology accepted.” Gwen consented to his help as she dismounted then quickly stepped beyond his reach.

  “I looked for you and couldn’t find you.” Sebastian’s tone was now devoid of accusation.

  “If I wanted you to find me, you would have,” Gwen answered with cool defiance, turning on her heel.

  Sebastian caught her arm and pulled her closer to him. “Not so fast.” His tone was gentle as he encircled her with his arms.

  She struggled to break free from his grasp without success.

  “I’ve waited all day to see you.” His tone was patient, further infuriating her.

  “Now you’ve seen me,” Gwen said before sticking her tongue out at him, acting every bit the child he was treating her like. “Have you seen enough?”

  His laugh was deep and rich, as if only she could do something so juvenile and manage to look captivating. Releasing her, Sebastian pressed his hand against the small of Gwen’s back.

  “Walk with me,” he suggested, handing the reins to the stable boy with his free hand.

  Gwen closed her eyes and exhaled a long breath before asserting, “I don’t wish to speak to you.”

  “Avoiding something doesn’t make it easier to face.” His tone was brimming with understanding as he led Gwen to the gardens. Although Sebastian was well aware that Gwen had learned terrible news there the day before, he hoped that returning to the place where all had been revealed and seeing it in a different light would help heal her open wounds.

  When they reached a grassy knoll, he laid his jacket on the grass and offered his arm for her to lean on while she sat.

  He then joined her on the grass. “I know I hurt you and I am so sorry for that.”

  “I just wish you would have been the one to tell me,” she murmured.

  “God knows I wish I had been.” He stroked her smooth cheek, his confidence strengthened by the fact that she didn’t pull away. “I was afraid you wouldn’t forgive me.”

  She averted her eyes from his. He followed her gaze to an orange and black butterfly resting on a wildflower. Her voice wasn’t much louder than a whisper. “I would have done anything for you. When I think of how gullible I was. The things I did with you—”

  “That wasn’t wrong, Gwen. None of what we experienced together was wrong.” His voice was strong and unapologetic.

  She tipped her head up toward the feathery white clouds floating above them, remembering how she used to study the clouds with her brother when they were children, each searching for shapes within the clouds. She recognized a dragon floating above her, the memory of her brother his and recent actions with Sebastian leaving a foul taste in her mouth, as did her memories of her conversation with her husband the night before.

  “I thought a great deal about what you said to me last night,” she still stared at the sky, squinting in the bright sunlight.

  “I said things I didn’t mean.”

  “No, you were right,” she admitted, turning to face him. “I am guilty of romanticizing you and believing you to be my savior.”

  Sebastian pushed a stray curl away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “I liked seeing myself through your eyes. I wanted to be your champion.”

  “Perhaps you expected too much from yourself?”

  He remained silent. The more he considered it, he knew she was correct.

  “I thought you could fix everything in my life and gave you too much control over my happiness.” Gwen plucked a blade of green grass then began to shred it with her fingernails.

  “Relying on your husband isn’t wrong.”

  Her brown eyes were solemn. “It is when you don’t know who you really are.”

  “Where do we go from here?” Fear knotted in his abdomen. He couldn’t believe he was groveling. “Tell me we can fix this.”

  “I want to.” She reached for him, tracing his smooth jaw with her forefinger. “But there are things I need to accept before I can attempt to move forward with you.”

  Sebastian’s gaze softened with understanding. “I know what you’re referring to.”

  Gwen sat upright, fear in her eyes. “What?”

  “Your mother’s journal was lying open on your desk.”

  She glanced at her hands, which she placed in her lap. “Then you know about Colin.” She stated it as a fact, not as a question.

  “Yes, I do.” He caressed her cheek. “I’m sorry you found out that way.”

  “Did you know?”

  He shook his head. “No. My father had many affairs throughout his marriage to my mother, but I never considered that he and your mother—”

  “I always wondered what caused Colin to leave us behind, but I never expected some gruesome family secret.” She squinted in the afternoon sunshine. “No wonder he never looked back.”

  “I am sorry, Duchess.”

  “How does it feel?” Gwen turned to face him again. “Knowing that you have a brother out there?”

  Sebastian paused before answering. “I have yet to assimilate it.”

  A forced smile tugged at her lips. “I bet you wish you’d never gotten involved with me. Your world would have remained the same and you wouldn’t have had to face any of these horrid truths.”

  He leaned into her, brushing his lips against hers. Relief washed over him when she didn’t recoil from his kiss. “Nothing will ever cause me to regret loving you.”

  Sebastian meant it. Months ago, weeks ago even, he would never have wanted to fall in love. Now he had, and he could never return to that dark place that had been his heart.

  “Do you think your mother knew?” Gwen asked, closing her eyes so her long, dark lashes cast shadows upon her cheeks.

  “I’m certain she didn’t.”

  Gwen lounged backwards, lying half on his jacket while the rest of her body was cushioned by the thick lawn as she gazed at the sky. “Dear God, this is such a mess!”

  Sebastian’s heart filled with wonder as he stared at his wife. Even after the terrible truths she learned in the course of one day, Gwen still appeared innocent. Her hair fanned out, accentuating her serene countenance while her lips and cheeks retained their usual pink hue.

  He joined her, reclining on the lawn as his attention turned toward the same crisp, light blue sky that Gwen studied. “You never told me where we go from here.”

  “I don’t know,” she shrugged. “All my life, I’ve been part of someone – first Tristan’s twin, then Lachlan’s daughter, and now your wife. I suppose I need to discover who I am.”

  “Are you sorry that you married me?” He didn’t dare face her, opting instead to hold his breath, awaiting her answer.

  She rolled onto her side and propped her head up with her right hand. “No, but I do regret that our marriage began with a lie. If I’ve learned anything from reading my mother’s journals, it’s that one lie begets another and then another. Each is stacked upon the next until they crumble around you.”

  This time he turned toward her, mirroring her own position. He wanted to look her in the eye, to convince her that he was being truthful. “I believed that I was saving you from a loveless marriage.”

  “I know you did, but you also benefited from your own duplicity. It was a means of getting what you wanted.”

  Sebastian understood too well. He looked away from her, at the many blades of grass separating them. “Can we get past this?”

  “I hope so. I’m trying to. I just don’t know if I can ever be the same trusting girl you married.”

  “I’ll love you no matter who you are.”

  Sebastian leaned into her and gently kissed her lips. He proceeded with caution, not wanting to scare her away. His kiss was slow and seductive, soft and intimate. He wanted his kiss to prove to her just how much he loved her.

  Gwen pulled away from him, her eyes searching his and Sebastian h
ad his answer. It was in those beautiful brown eyes that he knew better than he knew himself.

  She would forgive him.

  “I need time, Sebastian,” she spoke in a whisper.

  “You may have as much time as you wish.”

  She breathed an audible sigh of relief.

  “But,” he traced the outline of her heart-shaped lips with his fingertips, “that doesn’t mean I’m will stop wanting to kiss you.”

  His fingers traced a path from her lips down along her jaw then across the bare skin of her décolletage. Sebastian heard the catch in her throat before his fingers halted their descent just above her cleavage.

  “I’ll wait for you to come to me.” His fingers brushed, albeit slightly, the fabric above her breasts. “Please don’t keep me waiting too long.”

  Gwen swallowed hard, visibly shaken. He could tell that she wanted to rush into his arms, but she couldn’t, not yet. She needed time to trust him again and Sebastian was certain he would make her do just that.

  As if realizing she was incapable of promises, Gwen offered him one simple truth. “I do love you.”

  Even though he knew she did, his heart nonetheless soared when she spoke the words aloud. Those four words would sustain him until she returned to his arms and his bed.

  Husband and wife walked back to the residence in silence, each satisfied with the progress they had made. They joined Victoria for dinner, hoping that her conversation would sustain them.

  Both were sorely disappointed.

  “Victoria, what is it?” Gwen asked with a tone of concern. “You haven’t touched your plate. Are you feeling well?”

  Victoria shrugged as she traced the fleur-de-lis pattern in the tablecloth with her fingernail.

  Gwen turned to Sebastian, giving him a look that conveyed it was now his turn to reach his sister.

  “Tori,” Sebastian tried with much difficulty to keep his tone light. “Why don’t you tear your attention from the marvelous pattern on the table linens and tell us what is bothering you?”

  Victoria turned her attention to the wall instead. “I’m not hungry.”

  Gwen stood and walked toward her. She then bent down, clasping Victoria’s hands within her own. “Please tell us what is wrong.”

  Tori’s firm stare held Gwen’s. “Why aren’t you happy here?”

  “Oh darling,” Gwen embraced her sister-in-law’s petite form. “I am happy.”

  “No, you’re not.” Tori pulled away. “You were but now you’re not. Not since your father’s visit. Why?”

  Gwen didn’t answer at first, as if she hadn’t been prepared for this line of questioning so Sebastian intervened. “It’s complicated, Victoria, but it’s nothing to concern yourself with.”

  Victoria turned toward her brother, her intense gaze unnerving him.

  “What did you do?” Her stern tone stopped his heart. “What did you lie about?”

  This time, Gwen interceded. “Tori, none of this involves you. You have no reason to be upset with your brother.”

  “You’re not denying it because it’s true.” Tori surveyed her brother through narrowed eyes.

  Gwen turned toward him and the sight made her chest ache. His complexion had turned ashen while his eyes betrayed his pain.

  She did the only thing she could think of. Gwen lied. “Tori, your brother didn’t do anything—”

  “Stop protecting him!” Victoria’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “I heard your fight last night. I know he did something horrible to chase you away.”

  She turned toward her brother again, anger emanating from her every word. “I know you lied to her. I know you hurt her.”

  “I didn’t mean to. I thought I was doing the right thing.” Sebastian rose, rushing to his sister before stroking her back. “Everything will be all right. I promise you—”

  “You are a liar!”

  “Tori, don’t say that.” Gwen’s eyes narrowed. “Your brother has been nothing but honest with you.”

  “Stop protecting him!” Tori leapt to her feet, tears streaming down her cheeks as her chair slid backwards slamming into the wall behind it. “And stop treating me like a child!”

  Gwen reached for her, but Tori stepped away.

  “Victoria,” Gwen pleaded, “please listen to me”

  “I’m sick of listening! I wish I never heard any of this! Perhaps the next time you have a fight that I’m not supposed to know anything about, you’ll do so at a lower decibel. Then I can ignore it as you clearly want me to.” With that last retort, Victoria fled the dining room.

  Sebastian started to run after her but halted under the arch of the door. He raked his fingers through his hair. “I don’t even know what to say to her.”

  Gwen reached for his arm. “Give her some time to calm down. Then you’ll be able to straighten things out with her.”

  “How do I defend my actions when even I find them to be inexcusable?” He turned toward his wife.

  “Allow me to speak with her.” She squeezed his hand. “I’ll make certain Victoria understands.”

  “Do you think you’re impartial?” he asked, a grin tugging at the corners of his full lips.

  His jibe was welcome. Gwen found it far easier to accept than his earlier wounded expression. “Who better to speak with her than the woman who has already forgiven you?”

  “You have?” Sebastian reached for her, cupping Gwen’s face in his hands.

  “I know you weren’t malicious.” She placed her hand over his. “Forgiving you was easy. Allowing myself to trust you again is what is so damn difficult.”

  “Was that supposed to make me feel better?”

  “As we are both painfully aware, the truth hurts.” In contrast to her words, her tone was surprisingly light, almost humorous.

  “Now you tell me,” he quipped. “Thank you for defending me to my sister.”

  “I owe you at least one rescue, maybe two.”

  Sebastian’s hands still cupped her face. He knew he could kiss her and he wanted to. From the expression sweeping her cherished countenance, she wanted the same thing. He didn’t kiss her, though, opting instead to wait for his wife to come to him, now certain that she would soon do just that.

  Gwen pulled away. “I should check on Tori.”

  Sebastian waited in the doorway as he watched his wife ascend the grand staircase. She forgave him. That in and of itself was a miracle, but he knew something else, something he was certain his wife hadn’t yet realized.

  She was beginning to trust him again.

  The little seeds were planted within his heart at the way she jumped to his defense with his sister and the way she clutched his hands when she knew he needed her. Time would heal her wounds. He believed it to be true.

  “Sebastian!” Gwen shouted from the top of the stairs. “Sebastian, she’s gone! Victoria’s gone.”

  His heart stopped. “What do you mean?” He bounded up the stairs two at a time, striding to his sister’s room.

  “She’s not there,” Gwen explained. “Did you see her come back down?”

  Sebastian called to his butler. “Winston! Have you seen my sister?”

  The butler straightened. “No, your Grace, I have not.”

  “Do you think she took the servant’s stairway?” Gwen asked.

  “If I may, Your Grace,” Winston’s expression was apologetic. “I just came from there and didn’t see her.”

  “See if she left a note while I check the stables,” Sebastian instructed his wife.

  Gwen ran to Tori’s room in search of any clue where she may have gone while the butler followed his master. “Is there anything I can do, Your Grace?”

  Sebastian darted down the main staircase, issuing orders over his shoulder, “See if any of the servants witnessed Victoria depart or saw where she was headed.”

  His heart slammed in his ribs. If anything were to happen to his sister, Sebastian would never forgive himself.

  Escorted by her faithful puppy, Vi
ctoria departed from Kellington Manor cloaked by the darkness of night. She chose to trek through the woods, convinced that her feet were the best mode of transportation. If she’d taken a horse from the stables or summoned a carriage, her brother would have caught up to her and that was something she couldn’t allow. No, she needed to teach him a lesson, and in doing so, bring Sebastian and his wife closer together.

  Well aware that Sebastian would never have approved of her late night jaunt, Victoria reveled in his disapproval. Within the past twenty-four hours, she’d seen her brother in a new light. It was a blinding glare that hurt her eyes.

  Her hero had fallen.

  Victoria’s mind returned to her solemn journey. She gulped in an attempt to control her stammering heartbeat. With her home now out of sight, she began to doubt her logic.

  Although the rain had been brief and had subsided a couple of hours earlier, clouds hovered in front of the silvery moon, leaving her path dark. With the ground slippery, Victoria’s Russian leather boots were already caked with mud and the bottom of her skirts were damp.

  Victoria maneuvered through dark shadows, grasping her cloak tighter. In doing so, she tripped over a protruding root, which caused her puppy to bark.

  “Shush,” she beseeched her beloved canine.

  By and large Victoria enjoyed her furry beast’s talkative nature and felt safe under her protective gaze. Tonight, however, Molly’s bark strained her last nerve.

  Victoria’s heartbeat quickened and seemed to skip on occasion as her eyes darted through the darkness. Clouds flitted past the moon, offering her a brief respite from the deep black night.

  Molly nudged her mistress’s legs with her wet nose and Victoria spared her a sweet grin. The dog had been growing by leaps and bounds, and with her increased physical strength and maturity, came an increased loyalty toward her mistress.

  Victoria paused to stroke the soft fur around the canine’s collar, the mere touch steadying her nerves.

  “You’re a good girl, Molly,” she whispered as her fingers worked their way behind one of the dog’s ears. “We’ll be there soon.” Her tone was reassuring, more so to convince herself than the canine.

  Darkness enveloped them again and Molly nudged Victoria forward as if she were eager to reach their destination as well.