Northern Girls: Life Goes On

by Sheng Keyi

  And so Plaits was like the disconnected pager number, cut out of existence just like that.

  XIV

  When Wu Ying was in a good mood, she would often bring her three-year-old son, whom everyone called Sparky, to work with her. As soon as he arrived, excitement would boil over at the hotel. Xiaohong was very fond of the adorable little guy. In fact, all the girls at the hotel were fond of him, calling him ‘Handsome’, and the handsome fellow enjoyed being with the girls. As was customary here, he called all of the unmarried girls Jie Jie, or ‘Big Sister’, and all those who were married, Auntie. With his endless stream of big sisters, a world of happiness was written across his face. But he had a special liking for Xiaohong.

  This beautiful, clever child was Wu Ying’s only consolation in life, like decent, warm clothes in which to wrap herself. Wu Ying, with a mother’s sacrificial heart, gave Sparky all the joy and happiness she could shower on him. But on Wu Ying’s face – that face that was once so beautiful – were signs that she had weathered a horrendous storm, turning her features hard and mottled in the process. Her eyes were often red from crying.

  After Weimei left, Xiaohong was left partnered with Wu Ying for duty. Xiaohong and Ah Xing both knew all about Wu Ying’s situation. Her husband, Yan, had nothing much to commend him, apart from a tall stature. He was ugly, his eyes were set too closely together, his head was angular and he had a sallow complexion. No one could quite imagine how Yan had managed to get such an attractive woman as Wu Ying to marry him. According to Wu Ying herself, Yan had a little substance to him. That was easy enough to comprehend, or how else could he have become a plant manager? Wu Ying had looked for a guy with substance and his appearance was not really that unbearable. If one could only see that substance, surely it wouldn’t be so hard to believe they were together.

  One thing that was clear, though, was that Wu Ying was not happy. In fact, she was suffering. Ever since Yan had begun an affair with another woman, Wu Ying had been having her affair with loneliness.

  One day, Wu Ying slipped Xiaohong six hundred yuan, along with a smattering of small notes.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Xiaohong blurted out, dumbfounded.

  ‘Dividends. Didn’t Weimei used to give them to you?’ Wu Ying said, rubbing her eyes. She had never been a selfish person. Xiaohong shook her head. As she did, she caught sight of Weimei’s little mirror, which had apparently been left behind. She saw the familiar face reflected back at her, looking especially charming in the warm golden glow of the hotel lighting. Xiaohong hesitated, turned to have a better view of that face, chuckled, then took the little mirror in her hand and turned her head back and forth for a closer inspection.

  ‘Hey! You crazy or something? If you don’t want it, I’ll take it and buy dinner.’

  ‘Go ahead. Get something nice for Sparky to eat.’

  ‘Ah Hong, you really don’t want to know where this money came from?’ Xiaohong was fascinated by her own reflection, so Wu Ying snatched the little mirror and, waving the money, lowered her voice.

  ‘Is it stolen?’ Xiaohong’s eyes opened wide.

  ‘Of course not! You know how we can give the guests discounts? If you collect the full price from the customer, you can count the balance as a bonus. As long as Mr Pan doesn’t notice and signs off on the accounts, it’s fine. Once every couple of weeks or so. You really haven’t ever done that?’ Wu Ying handed the money to Xiaohong.

  ‘I haven’t seen a single penny! That bitch Weimei pocketed it all herself. Greedy little thing. I asked why she was always opening the cash register drawer when there wasn’t any reason to, shuffling the cash around. Six hundred! That’s a month’s salary! And don’t we have to work hard to get it? But then sometimes, it just falls into your lap.’

  Xiaohong was really excited, and a new, deeper bond with Wu Ying was born. She hugged Wu Ying tightly, saying, ‘When are you bringing Sparky again? I’ll give him a big treat!’

  ‘Hey, behave yourselves. You’re in public!’ Li Xuewen suddenly appeared in front of the counter carrying a couple of fast food containers. His glasses were thick and he squinted through them at the two girls. It was as if he had been on the road for a long time, and now his eyes were unfocused. Ever since he and Ah Xing had got together, he always looked tired. She, on the other hand, enjoyed an expansion of her feminine energies. The two were quite a contrast.

  ‘Ah Xing still sleeping? Can’t you stop trying to fatten her up?’

  ‘Yeah, you two really know how to enjoy life, eating Western food every day!’

  Xiaohong and Wu Ying each took their shots at Li Xuewen and he swaggered happily on his way. Going out of the front door, he turned back to look at them both and said, ‘When are you two free to come to the theatre and sing? We’ve spent more than a million on new speakers. It certainly gives your confidence a boost to sing there now.’

  ‘You’re not afraid Ah Xing will be jealous if you ask Ah Hong to go? I’m old, so I don’t have enough energy to sing,’ Wu Ying said, laughing.

  Xiaohong noticed Li Xuewen’s eye flickering as he looked at her, as if he had something stuck in it. She couldn’t be sure, but he might even have been winking at her. She giggled and said, ‘Xuewen, when Ah Xing puts you out to pasture, you’ll know better than to play around.’

  XV

  In the afternoon, bored to tears, Xiaohong bought a few of Sparky’s favourite snacks and went to Wu Ying’s house, a rental place down a back alley. If she had never been there, she would never have guessed – and having been, could hardly believe – that a woman as bright as Wu Ying and a child as lovable as Sparky lived in a place like that. How could they come from such darkness, passing each day there? The flat was a place of eternal night lit by a single fluorescent bulb during the day. The ground was uneven and covered in a layer of grime that coated the feet of anyone who stepped on it. The bedroom was so narrow that one could not turn around inside it. The double bed with its black mosquito net took up virtually all the space.

  ‘Wu Ying, you… all three of you sleep here?’ Xiaohong hesitatingly asked her direct question.

  ‘His dad basically lives at the factory. It’s rare that he comes back.’ In her dejection, Wu Ying’s face was darker than the dirt in the room.

  ‘Daddy hasn’t been home for a long time,’ Sparky echoed brightly. Xiaohong picked him up. He said, ‘Jie Jie, come and play every day!’ It was clear that his words expressed his mother’s sentiments as well as his own.

  There was a sound of footsteps outside the door, and Yan’s tall form stepped into the house. ‘You’re all at home?’ he said. Sparky shouted, ‘Daddy! Daddy!’ Yan patted the boy’s head and smiled at Xiaohong, who returned the silent greeting.

  Yan explained his presence, saying, ‘I need to pick something up,’ and went into the bedroom. After a brief moment, he said, ‘I’ve got to get back to work.’

  In and out in less than ten minutes.

  Tears trickled down Wu Ying’s face. She turned, smiling sadly, and said, ‘Ah Hong, now you’ve seen everything. He hasn’t been home for two weeks. When he does come home, this is how it is.’

  The whole house seemed to fill with an even more depressing air and the ceiling seemed to have crept a few inches lower. Xiaohong was uncomfortable. What could she say? How could she comfort Wu Ying? First Sijiang, then Plaits and now Wu Ying. How did women always seem to find themselves in these sorts of circumstances? Xiaohong almost blurted out the word ‘divorce’ but, guessing that Wu Ying was seven or eight years older than her and was not an unassertive woman, she kept her mouth shut. Wu Ying must surely have her own way of coping.

  ‘Wu Ying, if he really doesn’t want this home, the way things are dragging on is bad for you.’ Xiaohong looked around the house sympathetically.

  ‘I’m hoping that maybe he’ll come home one day. Ah Hong, wait till you are my age, then you’ll understand.’

  Xiaohong nodded her head thoughtfully.

  ‘There’s more to it than y
ou realise, Ah Hong. You can spend the last drops of your youth at the hotel. You’ll be sought after while you’re in your late teens and early twenties. But after a few years, even a dog won’t take a second sniff at you. Learn something. Pick up a skill. Don’t be passive like me. The girl living with him is no older than you. He forgot all about this home long ago. He doesn’t even care about his son. He spends all his money on that woman. I’ve seen her. She’s a worker from Jiangxi. She’s got it pretty rough, too.’ In her raging anger, she was becoming a little incoherent, but still she understood and accepted the realities of life. She swallowed noisily, like a dog.

  ‘Xiaohong, I know you’ll give me an earful for this, but to tell you the truth, when I was your age, I was as idealistic and proud as you. Even now, I still feel Yan and I are interdependent. A day of marriage is months’ worth of bliss, and the ties of kinship cannot be erased.’ Wu Ying’s tone was coldly desolate.

  ‘I can’t stand this! You’ve lost your confidence, Wu Ying. You’re only twenty-five, but you talk like you’re an old woman whose sense of romance has long ago dried up. Honestly, I think you should leave him. He should take half the responsibility for raising Sparky and each of you should go out and look for your own happiness. There’s no reason for a woman to be locked away in an empty house.’

  The light suddenly went out and the house was shrouded in darkness and there was a surge of cold air. Sparky, in Xiaohong’s arms, began to cry in his fright, ‘Mummy!’ Wu Ying groped her way to him.

  ‘Is your electricity cut off?’

  ‘No, the fuse is getting old and the wires are no good. I’ll go see what I can do about it in a while.’

  ‘Wu Ying, if you are afraid, who do you call?’ Xiaohong asked in the dark.

  ‘If I’m frightened, I call for my son. As long as he’s here, I’m not afraid.’

  It was bright outside, and filled with the sounds of footsteps and laughter. A skinny ray of light slithered through the door but it did not reach far into the house, nor did it illuminate Wu Ying’s tears. Their eyes adjusted to the darkness, allowing them to see each other’s shadowy form and face. When they had sat a while in the muted atmosphere, Xiaohong had a proposal. ‘Wu Ying, let’s go. Let’s take Sparky to Li Xuewen’s place to sing.’

  Wu Ying responded softly, ‘You go ahead. I’ll stay here and help Sparky with his homework.’

  XVI

  After Weimei and her poster had run away together, a girl from Chengdu who called herself by the exotic-sounding name Julia Wilde soon arrived to fill the empty bed, bringing a tantalising new dimension to this small world.

  As for Xiaohong, she did not miss Weimei, nor did Ah Xing or Wu Ying. And of course, nor did the girl now sleeping in Weimei’s bed, having never met her. Julia Wilde often made vehement complaints about the smell of Weimei’s bed. Xiaohong said, ‘It’s perfume mixed with sweaty feet. The ventilation in the room isn’t very good, but there’s no need to make a fuss about it.’

  Julia was a woman of strong desires and she was not prone to hiding her wealth of sexual experience, constantly telling others the things she had done. She was always willing to make do with any old thing. Before coming to the Qianshan Hotel, she had been working in the service industry in a neighbouring town but the pay here was better.

  ‘You were right to come here. The Qianshan Hotel is a place you’ll want to stay. Everyone who works here manages to come across better prospects. Look at Weimei. She made big money and then went on her way. Our own Ah Xing found herself a promising man. Wu Ying has enough with her little Sparky to make us all envious for the rest of our lives. Maybe none of us will ever have a little guy like that.’

  Julia smiled broadly. ‘What about you? Where’s your boyfriend?’

  ‘Me? Oh, I’m convinced that he’ll be there waiting for me when I make it to the top.’

  Julia’s sensuality was not just on the surface. One afternoon when Xiaohong knocked off work, she opened the door to her room to see Julia’s bed rattling. She could vaguely see Julia through the mosquito net, her hands working her own body. The jittering stopped suddenly. Apparently, it was not quite enough, and the bed began to shake again.

  ‘What’re you doing in bed in the middle of the day? Why don’t you get up and do something constructive? Playing with yourself is no good for your health!’ Xiaohong yelled, turning to face the door.

  Julia sighed in exasperation. ‘That’s it, I’m done. You’re so bloody jealous of my pleasure that you had to go and screw the whole thing up! So are you coming in or aren’t you?’

  Xiaohong, wanting to wash her mind clean of all thoughts of what was going on behind the mosquito net, chuckled. ‘Comrade Julia Wilde, you little Jezebel, how long has it been since you’ve had some?’

  Julia poked Xiaohong’s side and said, ‘You little tart, you expect me to believe you don’t do it?’

  Xiaohong leaned against Julia. She wasn’t sure whether it was the other girl or herself that went limp but it was like two bodies of water flowing comfortably into one another. Julia grasped Xiaohong’s breasts and said, ‘I just envy you. These things are way more important than a pretty face.’

  Xiaohong pinched Julia in return. ‘Damn! You’re as bad as a hooker! You better not get me turned on!’

  Besides playing with herself and, of course, men, Julia most liked playing with her earrings, a pair of jade studs, smooth and cold. They were always there attached to her ears in the daytime. Then at night when she had finished bathing before bedtime, she’d always take them in the palm of her hand and play with them a while. This was the only thing she undertook with any level of seriousness. The jade pieces had been her grandmother’s grandmother’s, passed down from one generation to the next. No bigger than a pair of soya beans, they were nothing much to look at. But even though they might seem insignificant to others, and even though Xiaohong mocked her every day, she played with those small balls constantly, treating them like treasures.

  As if conjured up by their discussion of sex, Julia’s boyfriend, a security guard from the hotel’s west entrance appeared a few days later. He was a clean-shaven fellow from Sichuan and the two fell into their local dialect, whispering sweet nothings as they cuddled. At night, Julia said, ‘Xiaohong, I hope you don’t mind. It’s a long way for him to travel back. It’s better if he just stays here.’ She turned to the guard and added, ‘Dear, you’ll just have to make do with staying here for tonight.’

  So he did make do, and he did so often and happily. Sometimes he even made do for two weeks at a time. Julia said he had lost his job and was looking for another one. Xiaohong could not imagine what the fellow was capable of doing. He dressed decently, with a touch of idleness to him, like the sort who might be suitable to be some old woman’s kept boy. The beds in the dorm room were unevenly distributed, with Julia and the guard sharing one while Xiaohong took two for herself, but Julia made no suggestions of changing. All she said was, ‘Xiaohong, you might want to put cotton wool in your ears at night, or put your headphones on. Just make do, forty minutes at most.’

  One couldn’t help but admire Julia. Xiaohong picked up the tune where Julia left off. ‘You can do whatever you want.’

  The worst of it was that Julia’s creaky old bed was like her body – sensitive to every touch. It would hum and quiver, picking up its tempo in cadence with the increasing activity of the two on it. As for the cotton wool and the earphones, they were tried but not very true methods for dealing with the problem. They couldn’t remove the dark images that spread through the mind like cancer. Xiaohong finally found a perfect solution. She would lie on her bunk and make good use of her own hand. At first, she found the act had grown unfamiliar to her, having been abandoned long ago. However, she did manage to pick up the craft once again, eventually becoming quite skilful at the application of her handiwork. It went on like this for about ten days. But she found that her perfect solution was less than perfect – if she continued like this, she was likely to rub herself
raw.

  ‘You little Jezebel, look at how pale and haggard I am,’ Xiaohong said, facing her reflection in the mirror.

  Julia stepped up behind her and looked. ‘Yeah, you need some nourishment from a man.’

  ‘Fuck it, Julia! You just lend me West Gate Guard for a while and you sit there and listen. How about that?’

  Julia stuck out her fat tongue and said, ‘Ah Hong, I’m really sorry. Just hang on for a couple more days. He starts work at a bar next week. I’ll compensate you for your mental anguish then.’

  Having had enough of those two, Xiaohong channelled her energy into her work. Her breasts were a little bloated. She was thirsty, even though she was full. Should she look for a man herself? During the five minutes it took her to walk to the Qianshan Hotel, she seriously considered this question. What exactly were her goals?

  When the woman on duty reported to Xiaohong that a guy had been in looking for her an hour earlier, she almost believed that she had some sort of psychic powers. But her ego was quickly deflated when she saw that the number was Liao Zhenghu’s. She was bored with the police. She could no longer stand the crooked look of civil servants.

  When Xiaohong next saw Wu Ying, she noticed a dark shadow around her right eye, as pronounced as a panda’s.

  ‘Wu Ying, go home and rest. I can take care of things here.’ Xiaohong knew that Wu Ying must be having trouble with Yan but she couldn’t imagine what might have happened to prompt the patient, quiet Wu Ying to become involved in any sort of violence.

  ‘Nothing’s wrong. Absolutely nothing. I thought about what you said and you’re right. Yesterday, I went and told him I want a divorce. He didn’t agree to it and we tussled so hard that we even took it onto the street. Ah Hong, we really beat the crap out of each other.’

  ‘Oh Wu Ying, I don’t know whether what I said was right or not. I was just thinking out loud. After all, you’re the one who has to live with it, whatever happens. I’m so sorry.’