by Sheng Keyi
‘I stand by it. After beating the crap out of him once, I’ll happily keep on doing it until we finalise the divorce.’
‘Well, you have my support. Why don’t you come and stay in the dorm and save a little rent money?’
‘No, he’d come to the hotel looking for me, and I don’t want this to become everyone’s gossip. I can still afford the rent.’
‘Anyway, if you need anything, just let me know. Oh yeah, did you know Ah Xing’s pregnant?’
‘Yeah. It’s not a good time for them to get married, so Li Xuewen went with her to the hospital for an abortion. It seems like there is an epidemic of pregnancies and abortions this year. It’s becoming as common as the flu. Be careful, Ah Hong. It’s not good for the body.’
Xiaohong sniggered and said, ‘Just about every girl will have the flu at some point, and after they’ve had it they realise how much better it feels to be healthy. Only then do they take better care of themselves. Which reminds me… I have to get in touch with Liao Zhenghu. Maybe there’s some erotic potential there.’
Liao picked up the phone and in an official tone asked whether or not there was any word of Zhang Weimei. It was the same old nonsense – if anything happened, let him know immediately. After a few minutes, he called her back and said, ‘There were a lot of people in the office just now. It wasn’t convenient to talk. I’m calling you from my mobile phone now. I hope you don’t mind.’
Xiaohong answered, ‘Whatever you say, Ah Sir, I wouldn’t dare cross you!’
‘Never mind. Up for a cup of tea when you’re free?’
Xiaohong laughed. ‘Tea’s always good. You mean you have to be especially ‘up’ for that?’
Liao didn’t say anything, as if he were flummoxed by her words. There was a dry rasping sound in his throat as he took a deep breath and said, ‘How about tonight?’
‘I’ve got nothing better to do, shouldn’t be a problem.’
At first, Xiaohong thought of asking Julia along, thinking that the pair of them could surely put Liao into a spin, but Julia was on the night shift. It was obvious the sex-crazed little fiend was nursing other desires and clearly was not interested in such things as tea. She simply said, ‘Ah Hong, when you drink tea, you’ve got to look for a little variety. Don’t suppress adult impulses or ignore your natural urges. Remember, it’s just human nature!’
Armed with Julia’s encouragement – or rather, instigation – she could see right through Liao’s motives. So, within a few minutes of meeting him in a teahouse called The Storm Shelter, she looked over all the most important parts and decided that Liao was a man with plenty of physical strength. There was none of the silly nonsense of him wearing his police uniform to take a girl out for tea and this pleased Xiaohong. His sturdy form hid a shy manner. His narrow eyes remained focused on Xiaohong’s face, avoiding her chest. This purposeful avoidance made his expression somewhat wooden, like a zombie out of a Hong Kong movie. All the same, Liao was a talkative person, strictly logical and full of all sorts of theories. He seemed to be a guy with a bit of depth. Everything from the surge in shares five years previously to the price of a working girl’s virginity, from the time he left college to a life of hard work in Shenzhen, all the way up to his present situation of relative ease – he poured it all out to Xiaohong. Liao finally revealed the hidden anguish that lay behind the whole discourse. Xiaohong came to the vague understanding that he, like her, was suffering from sexual frustration.
‘You don’t have a girlfriend?’ Xiaohong asked.
Liao shook his head. ‘In this city, the ratio of females to males is seven to one. All these women walking along the streets and not one of them is mine. It’s a bit unfair. I know that young working girls think going to bed with a cop is a thing to be proud of, but I can’t let myself be seduced by such things.’
Liao didn’t seem to be putting on a show. Or if he was, it was a good one. She said, ‘Then don’t be seduced. Just pick one of them and settle down with her.’ He picked up the fine, tall, slim silver teapot with his large, rough hand, like an eagle catching a small prey.
‘This tea is good. You have to sip it a bit at a time,’ he said, carefully pouring more tea into Xiaohong’s cup. ‘You girls definitely don’t have it easy. You drift like clouds and the wind could change direction at any time. If you need anything in the future, just call me. A temporary residence card or a border permit or whatever.’
Xiaohong’s belly gurgled, too full of fluids. She felt she was going to drown.
‘Border card? Oh yeah, that. How do you get one? How much does it cost?’
Liao smiled coyly and said, ‘Did I say I wanted your money?’
‘Then you want me?’ She gave him an unruly look.
He replied sternly, ‘That’s not what I meant. That’s a separate matter – and if it happened, I wouldn’t refuse.’
XVII
Ah Xing was in bed for nearly two weeks, enjoying the treatment of a woman in post-natal confinement. Li Xuewen already treated her as a prospective wife, bringing her chicken, fish, pigeon, ginseng and, the delicacy, bird’s nest. Reversing the normal order of things, he watched her as she ate, nursing her back to tip-top condition. When Ah Xing came back to work, she was in fine shape. She turned the whole unpleasant business into a thing of beauty to which others might aspire.
‘Well, each of us lives a different sort of life.’ Xiaohong secretly felt that it was not fair on Sijiang, who had been keeping her whereabouts something of a secret lately. Her shifts were not the same as Xiaohong’s, so even though they both worked at the Qianshan Hotel, they did not get to spend much time hanging out together. Sijiang gradually came to mix more with the staff at the café.
At first, Xiaohong thought of the Ci Hai that Zhu Dachang had given her as a brick that might, at a pinch, serve as a pillow, but later she placed it on the desk, rustling its pages from time to time. Everyone who saw the book was shocked. They would gasp in amazement and say, ‘Xiaohong, you’re reading such a thick book. You’ve got quite a promising future.’
As she casually flipped through it, she would unconsciously scan the words and so gradually developed a habit of reading the Ci Hai. Julia often said ironically, ‘You are so skilled at opening that book. But you’d learn more if you’d go and gain some more experience in the bedroom. Studying is just a load of crap!’
‘You really are twisted. Even reading a book can be a shameful act to you. Aiyah, what a life! You must have a master’s degree in interpersonal relationships, Dr Love!’
‘You’re wrong. I already have a PhD, I’m an expert on men!’ She was very flirtatious and men could always idle away hours at a time just soaking up her presence.
On a breezy, sunny spring day, Xiaohong finally got the chance to go to the park with Sijiang for an afternoon of skating. Sijiang rushed to buy their entry tickets and pay for rental of the skates. In her wallet, mixed in with the yuan was a very eye-catching assortment of Hong Kong dollars, which Xiaohong noticed immediately. ‘Eh? Sijiang, what you doing with Hong Kong dollars? Who’d you get those from?’
Sijiang stammered, ‘It was a little tip from a customer.’
‘Such a huge amount and you call it a little tip? No, you’ve been sneaking around lately. Is there something new going on?’
The skating rink was crowded and the music was loud and intense, accompanied by the rhythmic swish of the skates. Sijiang’s reply was lost in the noise and Xiaohong couldn’t really be bothered anyway. The two plunged into the joy of gliding over the rink, the wind whistling past their ears. Sijiang grinned and opened her arms wide, sleeves fluttering in the breeze like a flag. It was an otherworldly feeling.
And then she fell.
There were several girls about her age, carrying backpacks as they glided easily, some even carrying ice cream cones as they went. They called to a table of boys, something about a particularly nasty essay they were all working on, adding comments about their English teacher’s funny way of talking. They were l
ike a flash of blinding sunlight in Sijiang’s eyes.
‘Sijiang, look at them. You think we could study while we work?’
‘How can we study? Where would we go? And what would we study? I’ve lost touch with everything I ever learned at school.’
‘Don’t worry. We can find out about all that. I can ask Liao Zhenghu, or we could go and have a look around for ourselves sometime when we don’t have anything else on.’
‘They look really happy,’ Sijiang said wistfully, gazing after the group of students.
‘Kind of regret it now, huh? We should’ve worked harder at our studies when we had the chance.’
‘My family didn’t have any money. Thirty yuan didn’t cover tuition fees, so they were overdue every semester. I couldn’t bear to face my classmates and teachers, especially wearing the hand-me-downs that had already been passed along my cousins before they got to me. I wore my cousins’ old clothes and worn-out shoes. I looked like a sack of grain that had already been through the mill. I was afraid of how the boys at school would see me when I grew up and wasn’t willing to go through that sort of shame anymore.’
‘Sijiang, you’re still a talented girl.’
A couple of boys slid over to them, hoping for a bit of fun. Xiaohong pulled Sijiang to another part of the rink but the boys followed them, so the two girls left.
When they got outside, Xiaohong paged Liao from a phone booth. She asked him if it was possible for them to study. Liao was on duty nearby. He soon arrived on a motorcycle with a sidecar and whisked the girls away to the Cultural Centre.
There were brochures everywhere for activities such as computer training, arts courses, evening classes, self-study for exam preparation and so many other options that it made their heads spin. They read for a long time, carefully looking over the information, giving serious thought to the practical value of each course. Finally, with Liao’s guidance, Xiaohong and Sijiang reached a consensus: self-study for exams. They reasoned that when they had finished these studies, they would have a nationally-recognised diploma, and that the programme fit their needs. Unlike the other courses that put emphasis on a single profession and required a regimented schedule of classes, this course only required an exam twice a year. But when it came to the choice of major, the two girls had divergent opinions. Sijiang was born to deal with money, so wanted to study finance. She felt maths was another good option, since it was easy to pick up. Xiaohong liked to rely more on rote memory, so wanted to choose something that required memorisation and recitation.
Liao said, ‘Choose what you like. This is a question that doesn’t require agreement. It’s like you two both want to fit into one pair of trousers. Both of you want a qualification, so you each need to walk the path that suits you best. Take all of this information away with you, think it over and then decide. Once you pay the tuition fees, it’s not that easy to change courses.’
The next day, they went back with their fees and registered. They took their time to do everything properly, while Liao’s sturdy frame stood by. He smiled coyly and said, ‘You two have some sense of the crisis that can come to those without education and knowledge, and you realise how important studies are. That’s already half the battle. Put your youthful energy into work and studying, and life will repay you in kind. I can’t wait to see you two in a few years.’ He sounded like a teacher, talking a lot of general nonsense. But his preaching did not bother the two girls. They smiled, looking like a pair of mature women, and likewise turned their eyes towards a bright future.
XVIII
Xiaohong harboured a feeling of nostalgia for Jimmy Chan, longing to sit in his Ferrari one more time, imagining her first orgasm with him, wishing they could do in the flesh all the things she had described to the police in a single impassioned encounter. Maybe it was her physiological cycle but her sex drive was at a high point recently. It was so strong that she even had a thirst for the sounds of Julia and West Gate Guard. But Julia had not seen much action recently and her guard appeared infrequently.
After a few days, Julia shifted her interest to target the East Gate Guard. He also had a friend who followed him everywhere. Julia asked Xiaohong if she had any interest in spending her free time entertaining him. She could guarantee he was clean, maybe even a virgin.
The nature of Julia’s part-time work outside the hotel was something she never talked about. Only one mantra was ever on her lips: ‘suffer for a few years and be happy for a lifetime’. Xiaohong didn’t quite understand what she meant by this but it seemed as if it were no big deal. Julia maintained a cheerful outlook and nothing got her down. The more things that snagged on her, the higher she flew.
Lust is no dirty thing, though the actual transaction can be shameful. It’s like any other physical urge. When you’re hungry, you eat. When you’re tired, you sleep. It is all very ordinary. The different sorts of hunger are actually all quite similar. A diner partaking of fine delicacies at a banquet is like an emperor with three thousand concubines. But eating mantou or a bowl of noodles at a simple roadside stall, that’s like the lowest forms of rutting. It’s passable and, though mantou and noodles do have their own sort of excitement, it can’t measure up to the upper-class lifestyle. Having sufficient food and wine is like the pleasure of having a steamy affair. But for the lower classes, when they fulfil their sexual desires, they do so only as to take care of a basic physical need. And so, the lower classes take what they can get – begging, borrowing and stealing – so that their basic needs are fulfilled.
At least, that was Xiaohong’s philosophy. But as she thought it over, she couldn’t decide which category she fitted into. Even as she stumbled into Liao’s dimly lit room, she had not worked it out. She only knew she was hungry and that she wanted a hearty meal. Liao looked rather appetising, his two big hands stirring up some warmth in her as they offered her a drink.
He used disposable cups to brew some tea, rocking back and forth under the light. He smiled, his face always betraying a lack of confidence, as if it were Xiaohong’s house and he were merely a guest who dropped in now and then. His police cap and uniform were on a hanger, looking like a person standing there. Liao sat down.
Xiaohong was not the least bit thirsty. She did not want a drink. She felt like a character on a movie set. She was the heroine of the tale who, not understanding a thing about sleeping with men, distracted herself with the act of drinking tea.
She began to feel the old hunger pangs in her belly. She casually glanced at Liao’s bed. It was wide, so wide one could roll over three or four times without falling off. The bedspread was as clean as an unspoiled maiden.
An hour later, the pair of them had thrown the bed into a state of chaos.
Seven
I
She’s back. Qian Xiaohong. She’s been away for over a year, and now she’s come home for the Dragon Boat Festival.
In this village, even without modern means of communication, news spreads like wildfire. Before a cup of tea had even flowed down her throat, people were coming to her door full of merriment. Some said she was thinner, some that she was prettier, touching her clothes and commenting on how different the style was. Once they had each taken a gift, they went away satisfied.
Her sister was the last to come and, at the end of the day, a big sister is still a big sister. She did not mention the past. When Xiaohong took out the clothes she had brought for her, she squinted at their dazzling brilliance and asked, ‘Where would I go in those things?’
Xiaohong said, ‘Wear them at home. Wear them when you go into town. Or just wear them when you go to work in the fields. I’ll buy you more later.’
Her sister, turning a long-suffering smile on her, replied, ‘Honghong, what have you actually been doing in Shenzhen?’ She shook her head and continued, ‘Don’t lie to me. Everyone in the village says you… you… you do that.’
‘I don’t do that. I don’t hook! I have an honest job! Jie Jie, others don’t have to believe me but do you lack faith in
me as well?’
Her sister continued to shake her head sadly. ‘That’s how it is. Girls go to Shenzhen and they always go down that path. Everyone knows it. Just look at you, so well dressed. Who wouldn’t have some doubts?’
‘You really don’t know how horrible it is to hear you say that.’
Xiaohong was beginning to get angry. Those who had just left the house laughing happily, they were enjoying themselves at her expense, behind her back. But after all it was Xiaohong who had made her way to Shenzhen and seen the world a little. She had not spent much time keeping in touch with the village, nor had she been back. Let them make irresponsible remarks, then. But what disappointed her was that she had lost her childhood friends. They shrank from her like they were avoiding the plague. They dodged her questions, giving cold replies as if afraid she would corrupt the high moral standards and purity of all the women in town.
‘Arseholes! Fucking arseholes! They’re so blind!’ she cursed quietly, looking down on those self-righteous pigs.
The first day she went round visiting as many of her neighbours as she could, despite the fact that her legs were a little unsteady after the overnight train journey.
Though Xiaohong’s return may not have been a flash of lightning, it was at least a glowing fluorescent light. And she did bring a breath of fresh air. Over the next few days, more and more people dropped in at Xiaohong’s house. Some came asking Xiaohong’s sister to intercede with her on their behalf, begging her to help their sons or daughters find jobs.
On this front, the most prominent case was Aunt Chun. She came to both pull strings for others and to bring her own requests. She had a long pair of tear stains from an eye infection, forming a triangle across her face. When the wind blew, her eyes watered. The sad fact was that she eventually became so affected by the winds that she believed every piece of gossip that blew in on them. Regarding the rumour that Xiaohong was living in Shenzhen as a prostitute, she went further and actually fanned the flames, helping to spread the fire. She just wouldn’t let it rest.