by Sheng Keyi
When she received a flowery clip as a gift from Xiaohong, she sat at home pondering for a long time, then took a look around her empty house and went back to Xiaohong’s. In an unthinking manner, she heaped fierce praise, laced with a tinge of envy, on Xiaohong. When she had finished, she sighed and tragically added, ‘Aiyah. Everything costs money, even education. I can’t afford to do anything. I’ve got a daughter at home and she has never lived up to expectations. Her results are poor, and the money we spend on her studies is wasted. All she does is sit at home every day. My Little Hong, take her to Shenzhen with you to work and earn a bit of money, OK?’
The woman was shameless. She had gone round telling everyone that Xiaohong was a prostitute in Shenzhen and here she was pushing her own daughter into the fire.
Aunt Chun wiped her eyes and pretended to be sad as she muddled through her request. Xiaohong tried to tear her away from the topic. Pretending to be surprised, she said, ‘Aunt Chun, your eyes are still acting up every time the wind blows. I’ll check when I get back to Shenzhen to see if I can find any effective medicine to bring back for you next time I come home.’
Aunt Chun replied, ‘My Little Hong, you’re so thoughtful! To tell you the truth, though, these old eyes are beyond fixing. Nothing can be done. But about my daughter… remember to help me.’
‘Alright, Aunt Chun, if you’re sure you can entrust her to my care.’
‘If I can’t trust my Little Hong, who can I trust?’
She stood there currying favour without even blushing.
‘When I get back to Shenzhen and have checked things out, I’ll write to you. You just wait for my news,’ Xiaohong assured her.
Aunt Chun turned her rump towards Xiaohong and went home, where she promptly packed up a dozen eggs and brought them over.
‘My Little Hong, the hen at home lays eggs too quickly! Do me a favour and help me eat them up. Would you like some dog meat too? I can get someone to come over and slaughter the dog, if you want.’
‘No! Please don’t kill the dog. I’ll be heading back as soon as the festival’s over. I’ll cook the eggs, but please don’t do anything else. You’ve already gone to too much trouble.’
II
It was on the day of the Dragon Boat Festival at the dining table that Xiaohong saw her brother-in-law. Lunch was a typical holiday spread. Her father ate, feeling depressed, mostly because Xiaohong was leaving the next day, but also because everyone in the village thought his daughter was a prostitute in Shenzhen. He had lost face.
‘This household is not penniless. Why would we resort to something like that?’ He drank a little wine as he voiced what was on his mind.
‘If others say that about me, it doesn’t matter. If none of you trust me, then there’s no hope! I’m not hungry anymore.’ She threw her chopsticks down. ‘Jie Jie, Brother-in-law, don’t you believe me either?’
Her sister sat there as silent as a vegetable while her brother-in-law chewed his food like a donkey, neither saying a word. He stole a glance at Xiaohong from the corner of his eye and found that she looked foreign, suddenly very far away from him. It was as if a bird he had held in the palm of his hand had taken flight and was now gone for good. He decided to go to Xiaohong before she left and he planned to do it that very night. He just had to be with her one more time.
Unable to eat another bite, Xiaohong sat weeping silently. Her heart had turned cold, along with the rice and vegetables on the table.
‘On my mother’s grave, I might as well go back to Shenzhen and ‘sell’, if that’s what you all think,’ Xiaohong suddenly blurted out and left the table. She hid in her room, intending to have a good cry. But after letting it simmer for a long time, not even one tear boiled over. She realised she wasn’t even sad. In all honesty, she didn’t care what others thought, including her family.
The villagers only cared about two things. One was money and the other was sex. Everything they talked about was somehow related to one of these two things. Of course, money and sex are two cornerstones of life, basic elements of comfortable living, so in one way, the villagers were not to be blamed. This sort of simple life might be worth continuing to live for them, but to hell with it if it had anything to do with Qian Xiaohong!
When she realized that she was not actually sad, she also discovered that she had already drifted away from this village and had no intention of returning to her roots.
III
There was a sudden booming of drums coming from the long, narrow boat slithering over the water like a snake emerging from its hole. Xiaohong remembered she had arranged to meet Sijiang at the river. With a sudden lurch, she left the bed that had bred so much sorrow and ran towards the sound of the drums on the Zijiang River. She did not know how long the river was, but the area where she lived was the liveliest section. Every year, the Dragon Boat Championship Race station was located here, the crowd of human bodies snowballing as it trailed along the banks behind the boats. From a high point near the river, one could see for miles. Seeing dozens of boats drifting like leaves on the emerald face of the water, the view gradually widened to take in the sounds of drums far and near as the boats seemed to emerge from the horizon, drifting slowly towards the crowd. Every patch of ground on nearby hills was covered with people as they grabbed a moment of respite from the heat and the exhaustion of dashing about.
Seasonal rains from the previous day had swelled the river to a self-assured, abundant flow. It set the perfect mood for the festival, a spirit of fun and joy best captured by the boats. Red flags inserted into buoys on the river fluttered, as if pushed by the distant vessels.
Everyone was brightly dressed and in high spirits, despite the rusty hue that tainted their skin. It was a fine day and they all wore caps or carried umbrellas to shelter them from the sun, readily parting with their money in exchange for ice lollies to suck on and gain a little relief as they sweated in the heat. It was a festival, a time to free their hands from their daily toil. Grandfathers carried grandchildren on their shoulders and boys carried girls on the backs of their bicycles. The young walked aimlessly about, filled with a youthful hope. Upstanding middle-aged citizens put aside their regrets for it was the Dragon Boat Festival. And thus the people came together at the Zijiang River, watching the same rickety vessels they had been watching all their lives. The sun was brutal and the ground bravely stood against its heat, baking people’s trouser legs between sun and soil. Xiaohong, sunglasses donned, strode through the swelter, sweat creeping down her cleavage like a worm. As she stood amongst the crowd in the pavilion, she could not quite locate the feeling of Dragon Boat Festivals from years past. She looked at the crowd, she looked at the river and she found it all quite dull. At the jetty, after looking here and there, she saw Sijiang walking anxiously toward her, a little boy she held by the hand trailing along behind. ‘This is my cousin,’ she announced.
It was hard to tell if the right side of Sijiang’s apple-shaped face was swollen or if the left side was shrunken, but Xiaohong felt that something was not quite right.
‘Sijiang, it’s been days now. How the hell you been?’
‘I don’t think there’s any point to it all. When we were getting ready to come home for the holiday, I was so excited I could hardly sleep. Now that I’m back, there are some things that really piss me off!’
They sat on the stone steps in the shade beside the pavilion close to the river. The Zijiang seemed wide and open. Sijiang had to get her cousin an ice lolly before he’d settle down.
‘Ah Hong, I gave my family three thousand yuan – nearly half a year’s salary – and they turned on me really savagely. Once I’d put it into my dad’s hands, he really laid into me. I’m just a piece of crap, completely worthless!’ Sijiang picked up a stone and tossed it into the river. The drumbeats on the dragon boats intensified.
‘Over my mother’s dead body, you know better than that! You aren’t worthless. If other people don’t believe us, I really don’t care. But when those in our own
houses don’t believe us, it hurts. Shit, I come home and I feel like a stranger here. I don’t know when I’ll come back for another holiday.’
Xiaohong’s stomach began to rumble. The starting gun sounded and the dragon boats took off. Everything broke into a frenzy. The air was filled with voices screaming, ‘Go! Go!’ Sijiang’s cousin, having devoured his ice lolly, could not sit still. He grabbed Sijiang’s sleeve, pulling her towards the crowd.
‘Ah Hong, I’ll take him to watch the boats race. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know if I could’ve got out of the house. My dad won’t let me go,’ Sijiang said helplessly.
‘What? Sijiang, you mean you aren’t planning to go back to Shenzhen?’ This was a terrible shock.
‘I’m worried. Of course I want to go back.’ Sijiang once again looked confused.
As Sijiang led her cousin away, Xiaohong shouted after the retreating figure, ‘Either way, I’ll be there on time, waiting for you at the South Station!’
IV
Night came quickly and the Dragon Boat Festival faded into the darkness. All was silent, in contrast to the excitement of the daylight hours. It was like a dream, not quite real. Anonymous insects set up their ethereal orchestra and everything went on as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
The night was moonless, the sky grey. The shadows of trees covered the ground like ghosts. Any time, those branches might rub together and join the whispering chorus of the wind running through the leaves. There was not a peep to be heard from bustling traffic, no neon lights in the town centre, no one hurriedly coming or going. The trees and the insects alone hummed a lullaby, singing the village into a slumber as deep and silent as the grave.
Xiaohong stood on the balcony for several minutes. It suddenly hit her that she had already weighed her anchor and turned her course towards Shenzhen.
She finished packing, gulped down a cup of water, and decided she would depart early the next morning. She would wave her hand and slip out without disturbing anyone. She rummaged around to find some paper and a pen to write her father a note. A cool breeze blew the door open. Her brother-in-law stood in the doorway, eyes sparkling brightly.
Frightened, Xiaohong’s chest began to pound. Pushing the paper and pen away, she said, ‘What’re you doing sneaking in here like a ghost? You trying to scare me to death? What the hell are you doing here?’
‘You’re leaving tomorrow morning. I came especially to see you, to keep you company.’ He stood there in a white tank top, trousers and slippers. He casually closed the door, locking it with a swift thud.
‘Hurry up! It’s been a long time. If your sister comes in and finds us, it’s going to be a big hassle!’ he said, unfastening his trousers. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a handful of free condoms that he had picked up at the town’s family planning office. He threw them on the table and continued frantically undressing.
‘Put your clothes on! Are you crazy? What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ Shocked, Xiaohong spat the question at him.
‘What the hell am I doing? The thing I haven’t done with you for a long time, that’s what! If I don’t do it today, I don’t know when I’ll get to do it.’ His hand moved a little more slowly. He stood holding onto his trousers at the fly, not quite sure what to make of Xiaohong.
‘You still want to do that with me? You don’t reckon you’ve already done me to death? On top of that,’ she said, pointing at the condoms, ‘you think I’m a hooker in Shenzhen. You’re such a piece of shit!’ Furious, she thought of how many times she had been done by her brother-in-law and a burst of nausea flooded over her. She could feel him in every pore of her body, a filthy dumb animal. She wished he would jump into the Zijiang River, cleansing himself once and for all.
‘You think you’ve been mistreated here? I haven’t given you the cold shoulder. What the hell are you going off at me for?’
His words enraged her so much she thought she would choke to death. She lunged at him and with a loud pop slapped him in one lightning-quick move. ‘You fucking prick! You’re nothing to me! Don’t expect to even hear me call you ‘brother-in-law’ anymore!’ She pulled herself up, her eyes wide as light bulbs.
He raised a hand, hesitated, then shoved her and said in a muffled voice, ‘You hit me.’ Knowing Xiaohong was not easily pushed around like her sister, he backed down.
‘You listen to me. You better be good to my sister. If there’s any more womanising, you better watch it or you’ll find your balls cut off and thrown to the dogs.’ Xiaohong accompanied the threat with a chopping gesture. Seeing the action, her brother-in-law gasped and involuntarily covered his crotch.
‘My Little Hong, y-y-you… you’ve only been away for just over a year. How come you’ve become so wicked?’
‘A year ago I was a stupid little twat. Now, I don’t want any more of your bullshit. Get the hell out! I just want to sleep!’ Her chest rose and fell dramatically. Her brother-in-law put the condoms in his pocket and, looking at her questioningly, turned and walked out, a shadow of his former self.
But how could Xiaohong sleep? She took out the paper, gritting her teeth against the stab of pain her brother-in-law had caused. Tears of humiliation dropped down her cheeks as she continued to write her letter to her father.
Dad,
I’m leaving. Today, I’ll go to Changsha and get tickets for the night train. It will be a long, drowsy night at the train station after the two-hour or more bus trip. Everyone has badly misunderstood me, as if anyone who goes to Shenzhen can’t possibly lead a proper life there. Others love wild speculation, and it’s fine if they don’t believe me. But my family thinks the same and that hurts. There are many things about Shenzhen that I don’t have the time to tell you and I know you’ll always be angry with me. I only have a few things I want to say, so I’m writing them here.
None of you have been to Shenzhen and you only go on hearsay. You hear bad reports but what you don’t understand is how hard it is to make a living there. In the factories, it costs half a kuai to eat a simple meal of instant noodles or boxed rice. It’s always endless overtime, working ten hours a day just so the monthly salary is sufficient. Even then, it’s only three or four hundred yuan. Eight or nine people squeeze into one room and all year long you’ve only got cold water to wash up in. The beds are narrow and people often fall out of the top bunk at night. Some have been injured. Even crippled! But the factory doesn’t take responsibility. No manufacturer is ever sympathetic to the plight of their employees. All they want is to see the workers live and labour like money-making machines. At a metalwork plant, a boy had his hand cut off at the wrist by a machine and the company only paid him a few thousand yuan – and that’s considered humane. Some manufacturers do nothing, even if you’re injured or killed and the labourers don’t even know where to go to report it. I’m doing alright, considered pretty lucky, in fact. People have helped me along the way. When I was in the factory, the hours were long but it was more relaxed than a lot of places. I worked there for a few weeks then went to a hotel as a front desk attendant. It’s a lot better than factory work.
Dad, even if some people do that for a living, I really pity them. It’s not as if they like doing it, they have a really rough life. Maybe it was just pushed on them. I know a few girls who have gone over from our home province who are very pretty and very nice too. One girl went and, in order to earn money to help her mother get some medical treatment, she went down that route and became one of those girls. Who are we to despise her?
And Dad, don’t just focus on your projects. Take care of Jie Jie. Take care of yourself too. Don’t worry about me.
Goodbye, Dad.
Early in the morning, Xiaohong quietly left the village. She made her way over some distance to the river and sat amongst the willow trees on its bank. She sat until her backside was just about flattened and her stomach was rumbling. Only then did she get up and run to the South Station. She arrived before eight and went to the spot where she
was due to meet Sijiang. She was more than an hour early.
She ate a bowl of spicy noodles near the station, watching people come and go. Her mind wandered. It was nearly time. She got up and walked to the ticket counter inside the station and waited for Sijiang. Uneasily, Xiaohong wondered whether Sijiang would be smart enough to find a way to escape. If she was even a bit careless, it was certain she would be locked in the house for the whole day. Quarter of an hour passed, then half an hour, then an hour. Xiaohong exhaled heavily. She felt like she was standing in the middle of a battlefield and her comrade had fallen. She was suddenly very alone.
She turned to the bus, still dawdling. She finally boarded in despair. Just as she went through the door, she heard a familiar voice call, ‘Ah Hong!’ Sijiang was running towards her empty-handed, a look of shock on her apple-shaped face.
‘Hurry up! Hurry up and get on! I’ll explain on the way!’ Sijiang pushed Xiaohong on, looking over her shoulder as if someone were in hot pursuit.
Eight
I
Any time a twenty per cent discount was given on a room, it required Mr Pan’s signature, creating a measure of inconvenience for the girls and presumably for Mr Pan as well. When Xiaohong had accumulated a stack of such bills – enough to warrant a name change from the Qianshan Hotel to the Twenty Per Cent Off Hotel – she found that this was going to be detrimental to their little arrangement in the long run, so she discussed the matter with Wu Ying, Ah Xing and the rest.
‘I have an idea. Say we forge Mr Pan’s signature on some forms. If we do that, we only have to get him to sign some of those that we collect our share on. Then we mix in the forged forms with the real ones and we hand them all in together. What do you think?’