Psychosis_When a Dream Turns Deadly

by Roger Bray

  “Did you want me to come up as well?”

  Steve thought for a moment, as tempting as the offer was, and as much as he would love to get Alice relaxed up in a tranquil wilderness, he declined.

  “Maybe next time, for the first day it will be all army talk and tall stories while we get drunk.”

  Alice was disappointed at first and then thought that it was probably for the best. She had things that she needed to get done and looking into Alex’s case again had made her let work slip. There were a couple of apps that needed work as some software updates the big two systems had brought in had caused a couple of glitches, nothing major but she couldn’t afford to let them go. One of their bestselling apps was now using too much memory when it had always been frugal, something she had always prided herself in her tight code writing. It was nothing that most users would notice but it was only a matter of time before some geek noticed and made some cutting comment about their bloat-ware. Once that started they might get a reputation for sloppy coding and that was something she didn’t want.

  She had also found that working with Steve, being with him almost constantly had made a major difference to the patterns of her life. Her sleep was often quite broken, with depressive thoughts and she slept fitfully and woke in darkness with feelings of total despair, loneliness, and depression. Now when she woke, she found herself in a warm glow of another dream about Steve, sometimes naked but mostly being with her, sitting at her kitchen table. The connection she felt with him was starting to edge her life back to some sort of normalcy that she hadn’t felt for years, probably since the first couple of years of her marriage.

  Some nights she woke with the warm glow of self-satisfaction she had experienced when they had first met, and she could fall back to sleep feeling safe and connected, other times she woke with the exciting thought that she would be seeing Steve again in a few hours. Whether he felt the same way, she didn’t know but when she considered this she realized that even if their relationship didn’t develop the way she hoped, she was still happy with the moments that she was having. At long last, a friend and potential lover in whom she could confide and who seemed to be on the same wavelength as her. If their investigation into Hazel’s murder came up short and they could never prove what had happened, she didn’t know if their friendship could develop or even last, but for the moment, she knew she was the happiest she had been in a long time and was content to enjoy what they had while they had it.

  “How long will you be gone?”

  “A couple of nights at least, I’ll give him a ring tonight and see if it’s OK that I head up there tomorrow, it’ll take me three or four hours straight up i5, I’ll spend a couple of nights, so I’ll probably be back Thursday lunchtime. I’ll ring you and let you know what he says and if he’s coming.”

  “Hazel’s mom said she would send me a letter of authority for us to go to impound and look at the car, what should I do with that?”

  “Email it to me, I’ll print it off and give it to him if he agrees to come down.”

  “When might that be?”

  “Him coming down?”

  She nodded.

  Steve shrugged his shoulders, “I have no idea, I will try to get him interested enough that he wants to come and have a look as soon as possible but I would be happy if it was in a week or two.”

  Alice nodded, wishing that she had the courage to give Steve a hug and a kiss before he headed for the door.

  Chapter Six

  Standing on the front porch gazing out across the valley, Steve couldn’t believe that he had woken so early and with no hangover after the seven beers and four Wild Turkey chasers he had drunk with Phil the night before. He actually thought that he had got up before Phil until he found the note on the kitchen worktop.

  Gone into town for some provisions, back in a couple of hours, help yourself to whatever you like.

  He hadn’t heard Phil get up or leave so he had no idea if the couple of hours was starting or ending. He found a jar of instant coffee and made himself a cup and was sipping it when he heard, then saw Phil’s truck come past a large stand of spruces that shielded his property from the road. The Jeep came to a stop near the front steps and Phil jumped out, pulling a couple of bags out.

  “Breakfast?” Phil asked, as he climbed the few steps to the porch.

  Steve nodded but before he could say anything Phil pushed the screen door open and went inside to get the stove fired up.

  Once breakfast was over Phil leaned back and lit one of the Dutch Masters cigarillos that he couldn’t quite give up but had cut back to one a day, after breakfast or, two, the second in the evening while enjoying a beer as he had done last evening. Steve had to admire his will power, he knew when he had smoked his promise to himself to cut down would always disappear into the bottom of his beer glass. He could admire Phil’s ability to smoke the bare minimum for his enjoyment, but he supposed any number of doctors would disagree with the idea.

  Phil smiled as he blew a small stream of smoke out of the corner of his mouth. He picked a wayward piece of tobacco from his tongue before saying, “Good night last night, it was good to reminisce, about the funny times anyway.” Steve nodded as Phil continued “I’m glad to be out of it, picking up society’s dirty underwear, but still good to talk.”

  He drew on the cigarillo and blew out another narrow stream of smoke before asking, “What about you, Steve, you’re doing law you said?”

  Steve nodded.

  “And what about your love life, anything happening there?”

  Steve laughed, knowing that Phil had a lot on him as far as his conquests and disasters in the past were concerned.

  “No, nothing. Well there’s a woman, and she’s lovely but at the moment, I don’t think it could work out.”

  “Why not, because of you or her?”

  “Circumstances.”

  “But you like her?”

  “Yes, I do. I would love to see something develop between us, long-term but, for the moment her head and her heart are somewhere else, and I don’t want to put any extra pressure on her, I like and respect her too much for that.”

  “It’s not like you to hold back there, Stevie Boy, you would have been all over that a few years ago, head and heart be damned.”

  Steve half smiled at the truth of his friend’s statement.

  “Probably, but this lady is different and special. When we first met, I thought she was a bit strange, maybe a bit stuck up and pretentious but then I found out about her and her story and I know that what I saw was her trying to protect herself. She’s a bit fragile because of the crap she has been through in the last few years, but since I’ve spent a lot of time with her recently, I can see that there’s a strong and independent woman under all that. She needs to get a few things resolved to be able to put her past behind her and move on.”

  “Then you’d get together with her, bring her up here, you can see how beautiful it is. Is she outdoorsy or a bit high maintenance?”

  “Not high maintenance at all, she’s a natural beauty, easy on the eye and I’m pretty sure that she’d love it up here.”

  “Well bring her up here then, between nature and my charms, we should be able to persuade her that you’re not a total drop-out.”

  “Oh, thanks for that,” Steve said laughing.

  Phil leaned forward and stubbed his cigarillo out before continuing, “Seriously, if there’s anything I can do to help then you know that you just need to ask.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Of course.”

  Steve smiled and explained to Phil about how he and Alice had met.

  “Hell of a date there, man.”

  Steve smiled again and continued, telling Phil what he had learned to this point and where he hoped to see the investigation going. Although he had to admit that it was all speculation at the moment.

  Phil saw where this was going, “What do you need looking at?” he said, smiling.

  “I thought you’d neve
r ask,” Steve leaned back, glad how the subject had come up and that Phil had more or less volunteered his services.

  “Hazel’s car is still impounded, and I have the forensic report from the investigation.”

  “Don’t tell me; I don’t want to know what was in it.”

  “Fair enough, but I think what’s more important is what’s not in it. It doesn’t seem thorough enough to me.”

  “Where is the car?”

  “Eugene.”

  “How about I drive down tomorrow? I can certainly get a preliminary look done in a few hours, take some samples if needed. The results will take longer though.”

  “Tomorrow? That soon? Yeah, man, that would be great.”

  “Done deal, you still staying the night? We have some of that excellent beer you brought up and the second bottle of Wild Turkey.”

  “We don’t have to drink it all you know.”

  “We do, it’ll go off otherwise,” Phil joked, and Steve could see a second big night ahead.

  “This girl of yours, does she have a sister?”

  Steve laughed, “No.”

  “Bum. Any friends?”

  Steve shook his head while smiling broadly. “How about you help us get her brother out of jail, then I’ll see if she can fix you up with a date.”

  “OK, sounds like a plan.” Phil decided, “Fancy a hike over to Riffe Lake, blow out the cobwebs, we can be there and back in five or six hours, build up an appetite for the ribs I bought this morning, then crack a few beers again while we grill.”

  Steve thought, “No, actually I wouldn’t,” but nodded and went off to find his boots and dress for the trail, seeing a repeat of the previous drunken evening, but this time with sore feet.

  Chapter Seven

  Hazel drove up the short driveway and saw Nicholas’s E-class parked at the front door, a sure sign that he’d been in a hurry, normally meticulous with the upkeep of his vehicles had his mind not been elsewhere he would have parked the Mercedes in its place in the ten-berth, air conditioned garage. All the lights on the lower level of the house and the outside lights were on as well. Welcoming or not, she wasn’t sure. Was it a welcome, or was it security to ensure that no one could approach the house without being seen, least of all by the cameras arrayed around the perimeter.

  The crunching noise that the Volvo’s wheels made as they went across the gravel didn’t allow for anyone to sneak up quietly anyway and by the time Hazel had parked next to the E-class and begun to get out, Nicholas was standing at the front door. He didn’t come down the steps to her but stood at the top looking rather forlorn as he waited for her to come up to him. She sighed and her elation of earlier was a little subdued as she climbed the six steps to the door and him. He smiled a little glumly at her but stood back and opened the door fully for her.

  Hazel followed him into the kitchen, inwardly laughing at the importance that kitchens were suddenly taking in her life.

  “Coffee or a drink?” Nicholas asked, opening the wine fridge to take out a bottle of whiskey he kept in there.

  He put three cubes of ice into a glass and topped in off with four fingers of whiskey while Hazel looked on. She waved her hand, “Neither thanks, Nicholas.”

  With a shrug, he took a drink and topped off the glass again and left the bottle on the kitchen bench, a sign that he probably intended to finish it off that evening rather than put it away again.

  Hazel made a decision, get this out of the way, pack and leave before Nicholas got drunk. He wasn’t an angry drunk, not that she had seen, but then she had never seen him drunk, not drunk the way he was going to be in about an hour if he continued to drink like this.

  “Nicholas, I’m sorry—” she started.

  “So, it’s the end then?”

  She nodded.

  “Did you ever love me, Hazel?”

  Hazel lowered her eyes and whispered, “No.” She looked up, “I’m sorry but, no, I didn’t, like, fond of, sure, but never loved.”

  “Honesty eh, the best policy.”

  “I never wanted this, Nick, you should know that. If you’re feeling betrayed I understand, but you need to know that I never, ever wanted that.”

  “Did we ever have a future?” he held his free hand up, “Don’t answer, I already know.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s Alex isn’t it, I’m assuming that was where you were this evening, but you could have been giving him the same talk we’re having now.”

  She frowned, “No, it’s Alex, my husband that I’m going back to.”

  “So, I was a what …?”

  “A friend, a good friend when I needed one.”

  “With benefits?”

  “That’s not how I saw it.”

  The conversation was taking on an edge that Hazel didn’t like. A few wrong words and another glass of whiskey and it could all go wrong so quickly, she didn’t want that.

  “Nicholas, I’ve said that I’m sorry, I’m trying to be honest, I’ve told you I’m going back to Alex. I don’t know what else to say.”

  Hazel, he would have married tomorrow without the pre-nup that his lawyer had begged to him draw up when he married Beverly or, the parasite, as he had taken to thinking of her. He hadn’t had a pre-nup drawn up for her and even though he had been well and truly bitten he wouldn’t draw one up for Hazel either.

  Because he was stupid? Probably, but stupidity caused by his growing love for her. With the parasite there had never been anything approaching the feelings that he had for Hazel, and if it had been allowed to continue and grow, he would have thrown all caution to the wind, regardless of the inevitable screeching down the phone from his attorney.

  This is how he felt about this woman standing in front of him, he would do anything to keep her, to love her.

  “Is there anything I can do to make you change your mind?”

  Hazel smiled sadly and reached out touching his cheek. He closed his eyes as she softly said, “I’m sorry, Nicholas, there’s nothing. I’m going to go and pack now, OK?”

  He nodded as he opened his eyes and saw her sad smile as she turned and walked out of the kitchen.

  He drank again and reached for the whiskey bottle. For a moment he considered if it was a good idea before deciding that at some point later in the evening he wanted to collapse into a dreamless sleep. He didn’t like tablets, and whiskey worked better, less guilt and more flavor, so he poured another two fingers into the glass with another couple of ice cubes.

  But he did sip from the glass this time, slower more reflectively but still determined to get a bit drunk but not stupid drunk and say or do something that he might regret. Nicholas Rowe was a calm and rational man; he was not prone to outbursts or anger, he had been angry, extremely angry, once in his life and that was at school when he had witnessed a smaller kid in his class being bullied by an older and much bigger kid. The bigger kid was bigger than Nicholas as well but was quickly knocked out by a rapid left-right from an indignant and angry Rowe and that was it, one time in the face of a bully and an unfairness that cost him a brief suspension from school. But he was proud of the stand that he had taken and that he could think and act rationally in the face of adversity. Even the parasite’s attempts to fleece him hadn’t made him angry, a little sad and definitely pissed off, but not angry.

  But what was it that he was feeling now? He tried to rationalize where this was going and, as his grip tightened on his glass, he knew the answer was nowhere. Could he do something about this? No, should he try? No again. Should he be angry, angry enough to do something stupid, probably, but with a sudden release, he relaxed and allowed himself to breathe deeply. He looked at his glass and took a small sip and with a small smile decided what he would say when Hazel came downstairs.

  Hazel quickly filled the opened suitcase that was lying on their bed, she didn’t have that much at Nicholas’s house and a couple of trips to the walk-in wardrobe saw her clothes folded and packed. Her toiletries and makeup she put into a
small vanity bag which she placed on the bed next to the main bag and within ten minutes she was finished; only a small pile outside the suitcase remained, and she didn’t quite know what to do with it.

  It was everything that Nicholas had given to her during their time together, quite a lot but not as much as it could have been had she not reined him in and got him to promise to not buy her expensive gifts. She had told him in time as he was about to buy her a new SLK with personalized number plates, which Hazel would have been mortified to drive, but even so, the pile on the bed represented a gift or a couple of gifts for each week they had been together. Perfume, jewelry, and lingerie which she couldn’t decide what to do with.

  Nicholas would expect her to take it all, he certainly didn’t want it returned, and she suspected he would be hurt if she left it behind, a little pile of memories at the end of the bed, but she couldn’t take it with her either. There was no way she could take it back to her house, Alex might feel she was rubbing his face in it and she wanted a fresh beginning, or at least a do-over from the night before she left Alex. If such a thing were possible it wouldn’t work if she were wearing Nicholas Rowe’s perfume or jewelry or lingerie when she went to bed with Alex.

  She found another small bag and put all the items into it and managed to wedge the smaller bag into the bigger one, she could decide later, but she felt that dropping them all off at a goodwill would be the most fitting solution. Maybe they could make a little money from her folly.

  Satisfied, Hazel closed the suitcase and placed it on the floor, and extended the handle; she picked up the vanity bag and put it onto the case and wheeled both to the top of the stairs where she swapped hands, picked the case up and carried it downstairs to where Nicholas was waiting at the bottom.

  Hazel sighed, hoping that this didn’t mean that Nicholas wanted to continue on from the kitchen. It could develop into an argument or with him begging her to stay and she couldn’t decide which one of those would be worse.