Far-out Show (9781465735829)

by Hanna, Thomas

  Nerber considered the translation of that for a moment before he asked, holding out a hand and turning the palm from up to down, “Those are not the flip of the flop?”

  “If she sees us but I don’t see her she could cause trouble and I wouldn’t know I needed to take emergency escape action.”

  Nerber nodded that he got that distinction.

  * * *

  For her part Regimentator was frustrated all over again. If there were not the possibility of a good payoff and the bragging rights of efficiently using Krinkle despite his efforts to lose her, she would have called it quits and gone home and never mentioned stepping outside her door today to anyone.

  “I’ve lost him. I’ll punch out anybody who laughs or cheers.”

  She pulled around a wide right hand curve in the road and then immediately turned farther right into the parking lot of a medical practice group. Here she stopped in a slot in the second line of parked cars. From here she could see the highway without being obvious from it.

  She turned off the engine and slid down in her seat a bit to watch as a local police car whizzed by on the highway at reckless high speed, chasing a reported speeder.

  Thinking about the police report that would say the supposed speeder had simply disappeared she wondered aloud, “What’s the chance he really has an E.T. in the car with him and that thing can make his car turn invisible? It’d be a great idea to build into a story but how could I take pictures of an invisible car? Only useful to me as embroidery on the facts to make any pictures worth more by giving an interview with them. But no top dollar for my pictures, no crazy stories that only get my name in the paper, no dollars in my pocket.”

  She got out a book of local street maps and flipped through the pages to find the one that corresponded to this general area. “Where the heck can he have gone? Almost anywhere’s the only true answer since I don’t know a thing for sure since I saw his car parked near that sleazy motel. Who can I blame this on? Somebody has to owe me that I missed my chance. But don’t anybody misquote me, I did not say I messed up my chance. I might pray for help finding him but I’d be more repulsed by the hypocrisy of that than anybody else. Poor me.”

  Then she jerked in excitement and, except for her safety shoulder harness, might have thrown herself face-first against the windshield. His car was passing on the highway! Going slow enough that she had a good look at him and the stranger beside him. She was back in the game!

  She started the car and pulled out after him. “I don’t know where he was or how I lost track of him but he’s just ahead of me now and I won’t lose him this time. He’s going so slow that my problem’ll be staying patient enough to stay behind him.”

  Seeing a city bus coming up behind her she pulled into the left lane, let it pass her, then got behind it. That would be perfect camouflage. She only needed to stay alert for him turning off on any cross street or into any parking lot on the right. That simplified things.

  So she drove on behind the bus pretending to be in no hurry. She pulled into the left lane every block or so to check that Krinkle was ahead, then back out of sight when she saw that he was.

  She hoped they wouldn’t go very far since this bored her and her always limited supply of patience was already pretty much used up and not recharging.

  Chapter 19

  Krinkle stopped in a suburban shopping center parking lot, well away from any other vehicles or the pedestrian traffic areas. A line of three parked tractor-trailers blocked the view of half of the area which suited his purposes.

  “There’s a line of cars at the bank ATM so I’ll wait here where no one will pay attention to us until that clears. The costume store’s over there and a hardware store over on the other side. All close by and open for business.”

  Nerber looked around getting oriented to the area while Wilburps hovered high enough to see and record it all out the car windows.

  “Maybe we should take one more little precaution,” Krinkle said. “Why don’t you get in the back seat until I’m done at the ATM. There’ll be a security camera taking pictures of me there and you’re less likely to show in those. Just in case they ever trace us this far. And maybe tilt your hat forward a bit so the camera can’t see your face. It’s probably not needed but it won’t cost us anything and it might help. Is that all right?”

  Nerber nodded his agreement and made that change of seats.

  In the back seat Nerber casually leaned against the carton holding the jammer. He was startled when the carton moved, jostling him since he was in contact with it.

  Since this was the first time he had made actual contact with the box he didn’t know if this movement was a normal part of its functioning so he decided not to mention this but edged away from it.

  Wilburps announced, “The news summary is that much of the planet is reported to be near panic because of reports of an unidentified object near your moon. The official leaders are promising strong action to protect everyone while various groups accuse one another of being the cause of the end of life on this planet.”

  “That's typical,” Krinkle said in a scornful tone. “The extremes have a hay day when there's something scary and not easily explained. Various religious groups will insist this can’t be Armageddon or their equivalent of the final time because their texts don’t mention space invaders. But others in those same groups will insist the texts can be interpreted to fit this situation and will do so. Dissention, confusion, and charges of heresy will run rampant.”

  Nerber said, “Report on your status, Wilburps.”

  Wilburps replied, “I am glad you made an asking for that, Nerber. I was preparing to report that I still cannot contact Whizybeam when the full range and force of contacts was just reestablished. I also now detect signals going from me that I did not know about before. I may have been sending messages for some period of time but neither of us knows it.”

  “You told me how its design can let that happen,” Krinkle said. “How big a problem is it?”

  “There is no for truly sure way to know yet. Precautions were possible,” Nerber replied. “Wink wink if maybe you are capturing the moving with the flowing that I make.”

  Krinkle looked in the rear-view mirror as Nerber leaned forward and winked at him, probably blocked by his hat brim from the zerpy’s visual sensors.

  “If Wilburps isn’t cut off by the interference any more that must mean your people…uh, guys have found a way to get around the effect of the jammer. That could mean the Army can get a fix on our location by tracking its signals. I’ll leave the jammer on for now in case it slows my people up though. Always lots of things I don’t know for sure that’d make big differences.”

  Nerber gave a little faked cough and asked, “Do you think I will be well treated and not just autopsied if captivated? That is what your entertainment shows are about in some times.”

  “Forget that trash, the alien autopsy shows were faked. It is true that humans...” Krinkle lost his train of thought as he glanced toward the stores, then leaned forward for a better look, a concerned expression darkening his face. Two dozen scared people were milling around inciting one another to something but were too far away for him to hear them.

  * * *

  Regimentator almost drove right past this shopping center but she stopped and pulled in when she noticed activity that might yield salable photos, even if not the big item ones she was looking for. A panel truck marked Sisboom Fireworks Company had malfunctioned on the highway here and the young driver had barely been able to pull into the parking lot before it died completely. He got out, kicked a tire in his frustration, and stood there calling for instructions on his cell phone.

  The mob of several dozen fear-crazed people stumbled silently and steadily toward the truck and its driver like the zombies in half a dozen films he had seen. Only the blood dripping from their mouths was missing but when he looked around and saw them he feared that touch might be about to be added. He screamed and ran for his life, darting a
cross the highway to put distance between him and them, hoping that being hit by trucks might slow them up.

  But those people wanted the wares in the truck, not him or even a snack. The truck seemed like a God-send since a radio talk show guest had just repeated the claim that nearby explosions would make any aliens visible “as their true selves”. A few did the math and the others did what they always did and followed without bothering to question or think for themselves. Firecrackers would produce explosions; explosions would reveal the enemy among them; no enemies among them meant safety.

  Reggie stood near her car and happily took a bunch of photos as those people opened the unlocked truck and hauled out boxes of firecrackers. With no news vans in sight she had an exclusive on this story until the inevitable phone camera pictures surfaced but she would beat those to the paid punch by actively hawking what she had. A digital camera with a zoom lens was such a good investment.

  She looked around for other elements to fit into the story. As the line of tractor-trailers that were partway down the large lot drove away they exposed the view of mostly empty parking area – and a car that looked familiar. She focused her camera on that and used the zoom lens to get a better look at the occupants. Yes! She had found crazy Krinkle and his special buddy.

  And the mob with explosives looking to deal in the good old American way with invaders was more than she could have hoped for. She needed to get into position to take lots of clear pictures of the alien being dragged from the car by the mob and probably killed right here. She verified that she had two more memory cards for the camera ready in her fanny pack since there should be a ton of great reaction shots if that slaughter was as gory, gross, or unexpectedly dangerous as she hoped. This day would make her rich and therefore so very happy.

  Regimentator moved close to a parked semi where she expected to be safe from the mob without inhibiting them. She muttered, “Oh yeah, let the alien elimination event begin!”

  * * *

  In the car Nerber asked, “Are you detecting anything new or that seems significant, Wilburps?”

  “Uncertain is my proper response,” the zerpy said. “The signals to send messages to the home planet being secret with them piggy-backed are back. Is for true a word here as some hints seem to make of it a maybe piggy-backed?”

  “Yeah, it means one on the back of the other so they act like a single unit,” Krinkle said.

  Wilburps said, “There are jumbled all together bits of comments and conversation that I will save and process for to analyze if they make sense when close up examined but at this time they are only chit-chat with no meaningful information. Some from Whizybeam, some from Ormelex. All maybe are about you but do not have the likeliness they were intentioned for you to know of.”

  “What can that mean?” Krinkle asked Nerber.

  Nerber said with a shrug, “Plots and playing the games. Several groups make the profiting from me being here. Each has the desire to get the most of benefitting. It is for satisfying a nastiness only that each makes the trying to reduce the profiting of the others.”

  “Gotcha. Business as usual. Screw the others even if it doesn’t help your own position.”

  At that moment Nerber was violently jerked around. His reaction and expression made it clear he had no idea why. He had leaned against the jammer as he tried to see out all the windows but he now moved as far as he could from that device since that was what had moved and taken him with it.

  Krinkle saw that vigorous movement in the rear-view mirror but interpreted it as this very foreign species’ shiver of fear so he didn’t mention it when Nerber didn’t. The man did ask, “What’s the latest on the radio news, Wilburps? Can you pick up a local station?”

  Wilburps replied, “There are reports of people blowing things up after someone said this will make any aliens among them visible as their true selves.”

  “What means this blowing things up? It is huffing like into those balloonies?” Nerber asked.

  At that moment a large firecracker exploded near the mob in the near distance as they all watched one another carefully. They then shook hands and embraced since they felt they had proven none were aliens hiding among the group undetected.

  “That's blowing things up,” Krinkle said. “The destructive, explosive part, not the relief.”

  Wilburps announced, “There is garble from afar but I am unable to make sense of it.”

  The mob noticed the occupied car and headed for it. A man threw a firecracker this way and they all hesitated, staring.

  Not satisfied by that test the mob continued this way.

  Nerber scrambled out saying, “That space garble could be the producers trying to trigger my self-destruct. Or these blowings up could do that. Gotta go.”

  He pulled Wilburps from the back seat. A small stack of loose old newspapers on the seat came with the zerpy but Nerber ignored those in his state of near panic.

  Krinkle thought about driving up to the mob to distract them but changed his mind when they began to shout and shake their fists in the air. He jumped out to wave off them from this spot shouting, “It's okay. No problem. Be cool.”

  He was startled and confused when everyone in sight stopped and stared at him. At least they had stopped shouting and making threatening motions.

  As the people pointed at him and made comments he couldn’t hear to one another, he wondered what that was about. Then he looked down at his special costume of the day and muttered, “Uh oh. To them I don’t look like a geek, I look like an alien or his promoter. Note to self, keep two changes of plain clothes in the car at all times.”

  Not everybody in the area was fixated on the scare of the hour though. The truck Regimentator was hiding behind as she eagerly took pictures pulled away, leaving her out in the open.

  Krinkle cringed aside but held his ground when a thrown firecracker exploded in the air some yards away.

  He glanced quickly behind him to try to see where Nerber was taking shelter without focusing the mob on the alien. But Nerber could hardly have been more conspicuous. Seeing people running this way from several directions now, he grasped Wilburps in his arms and turned in a circle, at a loss about where he could escape to.

  As he scrambled partway into the back seat of his car Krinkle said to himself, “Maybe the jammer’s still keeping some of their stuff from working. Maybe if I turn it off they can beam him up or whatever they do.”

  He flipped the switch which turned the device off. It fell back onto the seat which made him aware that it had been hovering several inches off it. “Whoa, I don’t know what that means but I’ll have to ponder it when I have some leisure time. That is if I survive to ever have any of that again.”

  In full panic now Nerber grabbed Wowseyla off his hat and touched it to Wilburps as he turned in a full circle looking for a safe route away from here. After a moment Nerber twitched as if feeling something happening to him. He pressed Wowseyla to the side of Wilburps, then released Wilburps so the zerpy wasn’t touching him but was hovering at the height it had been.

  A large lit fire cracker landed near Nerber and the pile of loose paper that was sliding slowly along the ground in the slight breeze so it was accidentally staying near him.

  There was an explosion and a puff of smoke and shredded paper. Instantly Nerber and Wilburps were gone without a trace.

  Krinkle ran over and dropped to his hands and knees frantically sorting through the paper debris for pieces of the visitors but couldn’t find anything he recognized. “Did the self-destruct device he was worried about do this? Did he trigger it himself rather than be taken alive? Always the damned questions I can’t answer. I should stop thinking about interesting stuff, it’s too frustrating.”

  Beyond him the mob backed away, unsure what had happened but determined not to accept any responsibility if it was bad.

  Krinkle was startled when Regimentator came running at him shouting. “You spoiled the biggest money shot! You were in the way so I couldn’t focus o
n it right when it went kaput. I’m gonna make you pay for always interfering you stupid...”

  Now it was her turn to be startled. Krinkle shouted and pointed at her, “There she is. My magic suit worked. This outfit is designed to attract alien beings and she’s the one who went to a lot of trouble to find me, unable to help herself, a slave to her alien nature. She’s the invader! Catch her and turn her over to the Army.”

  She thought that claim was pretty lame until she glanced around and saw the mob rapidly reforming – and definitely focused on her. The fact that Krinkle continued to run at her and shout to attract attention had some effect too.

  Two large lit firecrackers were thrown in her direction as more people rushed over to join the group intent on saving the planet from invaders who looked as pathetic as this one.

  Realizing what the thrown items were, she turned her back and braced herself. The firecrackers exploded close enough to shake her.

  Now she was pissed off and she wasn’t one to take any abuse quietly. She turned to let out a verbal blast. She found three dozen people moving at her, some going to the sides with the obvious aim of boxing her in. Many of them carried tire irons, cans of Mace, and other items that would give them at least a fair chance in a fight. In a mob scene they definitely would prevail.

  She turned and ducked as two more firecrackers came flying at her. Those explosions momentarily stopped the mob, who weren’t dumb enough to walk in front of such things. The fact that the only obvious effect of the near explosions was to make her cringe bothered some of the attackers. They started to whisper among themselves, which stopped the whole operation since few were willing to go closer except under the guise of being part of a group decision and effort.

  If anyone noticed that Krinkle had stopped some distance away to watch but not participate they didn’t point that out to the others.

  Regimentator made a tactical decision. From the sounds of their sirens police cars were getting close so there would soon be an official effort to restore order. As long as she stayed intact until then she would be okay. But as the one accused of being an alien invader she could expect to be taken into custody to protect her, if for no other reason. The Army would inspect her and her things. That meant they would inspect and then confiscate her camera and the pictures on the memory cards.