Far-out Show (9781465735829)

by Hanna, Thomas

  “We only know this because of our snooping so we’re under no obligation to do anything about it for now. But the governors may be disturbed when they find out. The consequences if the audience feels cheated or played for bigger fools that is standard practice are surely never far from their minds. If the governors learn that we knew and didn’t immediately bring them up to speed they may decide to punish us,” Delmus noted.

  “That’s when we throw themselves back on them. It was their guys who chased the investigators away from the trail of his identity. They protected his secret so we, docile, prudent and loyal citizens took that to mean they wanted no notice paid to the discrepancy of a name.”

  “Good thinking, Ackack. I’ll be sure to let you tell them that is our analysis since you state it so emphatically.”

  “Sooner or later you have to push back. Knowing this much about him makes a lot of speculations possible. Too bad we won’t have some secure and peaceful days to speculate for a while yet. For instance, does he have a secret agenda? Did he maybe go there intending to set himself up as king of that planet? Or did he expect his fame from being the first of our kind to step on another planet to make him so popular he could take control of Ormelex, probably keeping the governors on but only as his tools? It could be fun to think about it.”

  “Whatever his agenda, and I assume that if he survives this mess we’ll hear what that is, he must have state-of-the-art tech help. But is that only from devices or are some of the crew or others here on Ormelex working directly with him?” Delmus said.

  “See how much fun speculation can be. We can amuse ourselves again and again with his maybes even when we know which are his truly actuals. But let’s be practical since that’s our standard position. How do we get the maximum profit from him? By featuring him in shows is an ‘Of course’. By featuring him as the topics of shows even if he doesn’t survive or won’t cooperate on our terms is a ‘Sure, we’ll try that’. But is he worth more to us as a hero with a dream or as a bad guy who tried to confuse our beloved guys with lies? That’ll need some careful weighing. He’s usable for either depiction.”

  “In fact with different presentation guys we could air two shows, one praising him to the upper limits, the other booing at and scorning him for distruthing and misleading. No matter how I look at him I see him as our special moneymaker.”

  Ackack got solemn as he said, “There is the maybe that he will be so hated when this is over that we won’t dare to even mention his name to keep the public from remembering they saw him and became enthused about him on a show we aired. We need to go slow so we don’t tie ourselves tight to him until we’re sure he’s not going to become poison overnight.”

  “Thinking that way maybe we can blame all the bad on him.”

  “That would make us sad and to be thought of nicely as victims rather than as open exploiters. With good promotion we could probably sell that as the way things were. At least if we don’t hold back or tolerate any doubts that he was a clever guy who sneaky-sneaked by all our careful protections. We’d have to pretend we’re not as smart as we know we are but... Hey, that’s it! All the wrong decisions were made by less smart than us underlings. We trusted them while we focused on critical other business matters and they let us down. Nerber lied to them and they let him slip through the screen-out-the-fakes process. It could work,” Ackack said with enthusiasm.

  “At the least we need to make plans about how to make shows with him as a too-late-detected bad guy. Being with preparations-made is for success the way to go,” Delmus said.

  “Do you thing he knows about new devices like Parbam’s Sproingy?”

  “That has been in my mind too. We have no evidence to say yes or no for sure. I am good with keeping it as yet another maybe in the list of things I want to exploit him about,” Ackack said.

  “Always thinking like a business person.”

  “How else?”

  There is a soft musical tone. Ackack checked the small monitor on the console then said, “We have to go for a walk.”

  Delmus looked at him with a confused expression for a moment, then gave a little jerk. “Oh, that’s the special code phrase. They want us to meet again?”

  “Yes. Thanks so muchly for saying that loud and in the clear to give it all away. That’s was why we agreed to that code phrase. This is convenient though, I was thinking we need to talk-talk to them some more but again out of sight.”

  “Sorry. These meet... uh, walks, these walks are such a new thing that I’m still startled by the idea.”

  “But obviously not startled into silence,” Ackack noted.

  Chapter 29

  Not much later Delmus, Ackack, Gopgop, and Uldene stood and moved around in the same empty space they had used earlier.

  Uldene said, “We're not gonna dance around it, we know you got more downloads than you've aired or acknowledged. What do you make of it? How can you use it?”

  Ackack feigned innocence as he said, “More downloads? What do you mean?”

  Gopgop shrugged. “Have it your way. We offered to work with you guys to defuse an impending major social breakdown but you want to go it alone. Let that be the thing then, we’ll let the governors deal with you. They probably know every detail anyway. Come on, Uldene, we have better things to do.”

  Delmus stepped over to Gopgop and gestured apologetically, “Excuse Ackack, he misunderstood your question. Yeah, we got more messages but they're badly, badly, distorted. It's impossible to say based on them what's going on at the planet they call Earth.”

  “Is there good reason to think the situation isn't as bad as the clear messages from the producers hinted?” Uldene asked.

  “Sadly the honest answer's no. We don't know the details but it's bad,” Delmus said with conviction.

  “But we can fake it through since nobody else has any feeds from there either,” Ackack said. “I don't think. Do you guys have sources we don’t know about?”

  Gopgop was firm. “No. We would share those with you if we did because keeping the peace is critical to the future of us all.”

  All three others turned aside to smirk and roll their eyes at that silly claim but none said anything.

  “What should you tell the audience about the destruction or the capture of the contestants and the equipment?” Gopgop asked. “They won't think in terms of this making it harder to colonize that planet, only in terms of the violent scenes they could have witnessed.”

  “They don't know and don't need to know of any agenda except their amusement in what's been done,” Delmus replied.

  “As long as we work around the edges of the governors’ agenda we can play it up for the thrills of not knowing the outcome and the excitement of watching it happen as if you were there,” Ackack said.

  “What about the doubts about its authenticity?” Uldene asked.

  “Play it up big enough and keep it moving fast enough for a while and the masses always get caught up in the excitement and the desire to be part of the crowd,” Ackack said. “They won't care how fake it might be as long as we don't actually say it's fake. They want to believe they're seeing life and death on a far away planet. Don't bother them with facts.”

  “But can A.D.U. do that?” Gopgop asked.

  “We know how to adapt,” Delmus assured him. “Before this mess we'd have dragged the story out over many months but clearly the new demand is for a fast and furious story told straight through in a minimum time.”

  “With lots and lots of reruns,” Ackack added.

  “I'm still worried that the masses won't buy into it if it's not real,” Gopgop admitted.

  “I hate myself for it but I'm worried about exactly that too,” Delmus conceded. “It’s my concern about my future that won’t let me avoid this any longer for fear we won’t deal with what could be a critical matter. We arranged to have a special zerpy put aboard that ship without the crew knowing it and we know at least one other group did the same. Now we’re wondering if that zerpy co
uld be causing some of their malfunctions. We think it would be best overall to turn off all the parts of that device to see if that helps get them home with the show material intact. Are you Peepees one of those other groups?”

  During that Ackack, taken a bit by surprise, had lowered his head so his expression wouldn’t give away his confused and near panic thoughts. Gopgop and Uldene exchanged quick glances, then each of them lowered his head so he wouldn’t broadcast his concerns and thoughts until he had reached a solid decision about how to proceed. Each felt that this topic needed to be dealt with but had been reluctant to be the one to bring it up in case his partner denied his own admission or the others denied having any involvement with the secret zerpy.

  There was a long silence. Delmus looked from one lowered head to the other and worried that he had done the right thing and ruined himself in business as a result.

  Gopgop looked up, raised his chin to show he was proud to do what needed to be done, and said, “Yeah, we control part of the zerpy Foxpat put aboard and we’ve been thinking the same thing. That it’d be worth the loss of whatever control we still have to remove a possible cause of their technical problems.”

  Uldene and Ackack both looked up but struggled not to show any emotion or reaction. This admission probably needed to be made but it was important to stay aloof so they could claim to have been forced into this exposure and concession against their better judgments if this didn’t help. Not that either believed making that claim would have any effect on his partner or other business guys but it felt right to cover their backends.

  “We can talk-talk about what your part or our part of the device is or isn’t doing and if each could turn off only certain parts of it,” Delmus said. “What we’ve heard about what’s going on the far side of the snaggiewarp means that time is running out fast though. Will you promptly shut down your entire part of that zerpy – and actually do it?”

  Uldene prepared his objections and qualifications to be voiced before the others could respond.

  Ackack prepared his objections and qualifications to be voiced before anything more was said by anyone.

  Gopgop said, “Yeah, we’ll do that if you will. It’s not worth the risk of losing everything by losing them and ending up on the bad side of the governors because we didn’t do what we could to salvage things.”

  “Now wait,” Uldene said. “The governors don’t know...”

  Ackack cut him off. “Weren’t you awake when we had a surprise visitor the last time we met here? We don’t know what and how much they know so it’s safest to assume they know almost everything.”

  “So we agree to turn off our part of the secret zerpy as soon as we can get to our offices?” Delmus asked to make this definite.

  “We can talk about how to deal with Foxpat at a later time since his technology might be the cause of this problem,” Uldene said. It felt good to have a target for the aggression he was feeling but didn’t dare to focus on the nearby three targets.

  “We can consider that when and if we’re more certain than I am right now that he doesn’t have special governors’ protection,” Ackack said. It felt good to be able to verbally slap back at somebody to relieve some frustration.

  “The new threats to the ship and its crew, not just to a single contestant on the planet, call for rethinking a lot of stuff but in the meantime we have a restless population to pacify. Now, do we tell the audience about the capture or destruction of the ship and our other hardware?” Delmus asked. “It’s our decision at A.D.U. but I’m interested in your opinions since you Peepees are part of the overall business.”

  Ackack turned and stepped away to collect his thoughts.

  Gopgop said, “Can you maybe make these new threats the basis of a new show to drag it out? It is a different slant than the contest show and it’s full of real threat and real danger of real violence. That should make it a crowd pleaser.”

  “Or show the earth creatures’ porno with lots of commentary to distract the masses until this other mess resolves enough that you can at least fake some filler to extend that Nerber story line,” Uldene suggested. “Oh yeah, right. That is if you really have that alien porno. We heard a rumor that you do.”

  Ackack made his decision. He tapped a code into his handheld device, then put that back in his pocket. The signal to activate and detonate the ship’s self-destruct unit was on its way with no chance to stop it. That was a final resolution he could live with. Too bad about those on the good ship Whizybeam but this was business.

  * * *

  Gopgop and Uldene rushed into the Power Players office, plopped down at the control console, and started pushing buttons and keying in commands.

  Uldene said, “Being out of touch for security reasons still means you can't do what needs doing fastest-most.”

  “I'm on it,” Gopgop assured him. “Our part of A.D.U. will be for sale to anyone with money to throw away in just two minutes. Before everyone learns the show and therefore the company are going stinko.”

  “I'm warning the governors that the contestant went into hiding but still may be found and cut up. This means Earth's too dangerous to visit again so forget about colonizing it. They won't like that news but they'll appreciate the quiet alert. It’s always good to have them appreciate your help.”

  “Tell them we support A.D.U. using the remotely controlled self-destruct units to keep the guys and hardware away from the aliens but we can't be certain they sent those signals and especially have no way of knowing if that worked.”

  “The audience won't care that the contestants got blown up, only that they didn't get to watch it happen,” Uldene said. “When I get a few free minutes I’ll mourn for the great show and the even greater benefits for us that might have been, but to me this kind of show seems done for for now and at least the immediate future.”

  “The masses will have to settle for a new generation of faked shows about Ormelexians having adventures in far places. It'll be the new hot genre so they won't have much else to watch,” Gopgop said.

  “If only I could shake the nagging doubts that this is an elaborate fake and we’re the ones being played instead of those pulling it off.”

  “I can’t give you any guarantees about that but my analysis of the evidence says get clear of this or we’ll get sucked down and maybe even under. I’m signaling all those who need to know that we’re immediately and totally cutting all ties with Bang-Boom Shows Certificated. Also that we’ve rethought our plans and are no longer interested in owning more control of the Amuse and Distract U company. I don’t need to spell out to these guys that we now think that company’s going to be a loser.”

  “I’m letting those who need to know what’s happening that we’re advising the governors that our earlier assurances were in error, the planet its inhabitants call Earth is too dangerous to visit again. I don’t need to spell out to these guys that our analysis of the suitability of the place for colonization was based on information provided to us through the governors,” Uldene said as he dispatched messages.

  “What’s your take on this contestant Nerber now that we’ve learned more about him?”

  “He’s clever, devious, and possibly unbalanced in his head. He’d be a fierce business competitor but so far there’s no sign he’s going to survive or that he’d go into business if he does,” Uldene answered. “The bottom-most lineage is that I don’t see him being able to pull off any action that will be useful to us. He might be convenient though if we can blame the loss of the ship and all the opportunity for appeasement of the masses – not to mention profit for us – on him. Maybe we can back a company that makes an entertainment series about how this one guy with a super zerpy could take over a whole planned show and cause disaster by being greedy and stupid but exciting to watch.”

  “Now that we know there are few secrets from the governors I can’t stop wondering if Nerber, or whoever he really is, has connections there. There’s speculation about a zerpy he must have to do what
he’s done. I keep thinking Sproingy and wondering if he’s connected to the top secret device development supported by the governors. Is he a lot smarter about tech stuff than we were led to think? And if so who misled us, the A.D.U. guys or the contestant himself? For me a bottom-most lineage is that if he survives and makes it back I should be first in line to maybe go into business with him,” Gopgop said.

  “Whatever it takes to wring the maximum profit from him.”

  They looked up at a signal tone. Uldene checked a monitor then said, “Our techs confirm that the A.D.U. guys have told the governors that they sent the self-destruct signal to the ship to, as they put it, ‘get rid of an embarrassing problem’.”

  “It was the best way to sidestep a mess of messes,” Gopgop agrees. “I’m okay with letting those guys present their planned defense if it all goes public. It was a fraud perpetrated against them and the guys of Ormelex. There was no space ship to a far planet and no actual contact with alien creatures. Some small and isolated group too out of it to defend themselves before they’re publicly executed and their belonging destroyed so no one can check what they had done will be blamed. That assumes of course that no one who went through the snaggiewarp survives and gets back. Messages can be denied and covered up, a living testifier is more of a problem although far from convincing no matter how much supposed evidence he has.”

  “It also assumes that the governors would allow those involved to make such a defense explanation. I’m so paranoid after what I’ve learned today that my thinking part is swirling around inside my head with worries and possibilities. If the contestant was their guy there might need to be new claims.”

  They looked up at a signal tone. Uldene checked the monitor in the console and said, “Our spy inside A.D.U. reports that they’ve lost all contact with the ship and that the last signals they received strongly suggest that the ship’s self-destruct unit detonated which would mean everyone was lost. There is of course no way to confirm that since everything was destroyed.”