Steel Heart

by R. J. Blain

“We’re used to a whore of a wolf,” Lauren replied with a shrug. “We don’t mind an honest whore, truth be told. It’s men like Ferdinand we don’t want. We’re like sisters now, and while we didn’t like the wolf, I wouldn’t mind remaining a family. A herd would let us do that. But with a good man this time, not…”

  “Not Ferdinand.” I nodded. “I expect a lot of people will be coming, and it wouldn’t surprise me if Todd comes along. He’ll want to bring you into his herd right away so you can settle and have stability. He won’t want your babies to be stressed, and if you’re used to a pack or herd environment, he’ll want to sustain that. Without Ferdinand, will the pack bonds survive?”

  The women shook their heads.

  “The pack is already falling apart,” Rachelle admitted. “He had to bite us once or twice a week to sustain the pack’s bonds.”

  That helped explain part of why Ferdinand had gone after my throat so often—not because he thought he lacked control over me, but trying to force me into his pack so he could control me even more.

  I regretted having killed the man so mercifully. A thousand more deaths might have balanced the scales. Undoing his plans would have to be good enough.

  With so many Starfall stones to identify and deal with, I’d have my hands full for the next few days. I considered the documents, which likely consisted of evidence of Ferdinand’s wrongdoing. The entire lot would have to go with us until someone could read it all.

  That someone would be me until Nate, the Secret Service, and my family arrived.

  Having a family who cared for me still confused and unsettled me.

  When would I feel worthy of them? Would I ever feel worthy of them?

  Life had been easier before I’d discovered what it meant to be loved by someone—and to love them in return.

  I shook my head to clear it, crouching beside the papers and stacking them together to make sure none were missed. “Then that settles that. We’ll wait for them to arrive, and we’ll play it by ear. Find something we can carry these papers off in. We’ll try the pack house first, and if that isn’t safe, we’ll figure something out. We only have to hold out until tomorrow.”

  Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

  Ferdinand’s death took a toll on us all, and while we managed to transfer all of the paperwork out of the house in a bunch of boxes in one trip, exhaustion stripped us of our ability to do anything more than make dinner, take care of the goats and chickens, and find somewhere to sleep. Returning to my closet bothered them, as there was nothing preventing me from sleeping somewhere more comfortable.

  I simply smiled and promised I’d grown used to the space, and that I was too tired to move the bedding.

  One day, I would tell them all of the various flops I’d occupied over the years as I’d roamed, and how I’d crossed most of the United States on foot or horseback. I would regale them with tales of the time I’d caught a tiger by his tail in a bar in Miami, resulting in the poor bastard chasing me all over the United States because I hadn’t had the sense to accept I had worth.

  I woke to breath on my throat, which startled me into roaring. The roar led to swipes and growls, and the growls led to snapped teeth and blood. Anatoly’s chuckle rumbled in his chest, and the bastard tiger sank his feline fangs into my shoulder near my neck, one of his favorite spots for nipping and nibbling.

  It hurt, I bled, and while tigers couldn’t purr, he did his best to imitate the sound. “Good morning. How is my tigress doing?”

  “You just took a chunk out of my shoulder, and you’re asking how I’m doing?”

  He licked the fresh wound, and he chuffed his pleasure. “I want to bite you a hundred times and leave my marks all over your skin, a claim no one can refute. I want to keep you close so no other man can look upon you without hearing my warning growls. A leash might work, but I’m willing to endure being handcuffed to you.”

  I yawned, surveying my nest within the closet, which realistically lacked the room for both of us, although he’d done his best to invade my space. Unlike Ferdinand’s bites, Anatoly’s had already faded to a minor discomfort. “You can’t bite me a hundred times right now.”

  “Right now implies you would allow me to do such a thing.”

  “If you bite me that many times, I’m biting you that many times.”

  Todd stuck his head through the closet door and shook his head. “And people wonder why Siberians maul each other. Apparently, extended courtship reduces tigers to mindless sex fiends worse than even equines. There are a lot of upset people downstairs wondering if you’re all right, as everyone here heard you roar before it fell deceptively quiet. I was sacrificed to come up and investigate. Should I report there was a mauling or flirting?”

  I considered my two options. “Can it be both?”

  “It can be both,” Todd replied with a smile, one that promised everything would work out despite all that had happened.

  “Both. And I don’t want to hear any damned whining about bloodshed.”

  Todd chuckled. “I’ll let them know. Are you all right? Can we be selectively upset about bloodshed?” The stallion pointed at my neck, which hadn’t healed all that much since I’d passed out in my nest in the closet. “We’re all rather upset over that bloodshed.”

  “I’m fine. Is Cleo here? The pack needs him. Henry should help, too.”

  “He’s here with Henry. They just finished checking on my new herd of wolves. I can’t believe you suggested I add a pack of wolves to my herd, Jesse. Did you forget I’m a stallion?”

  “I picked you because you’re a stallion.”

  His smile widened to a grin. “The wolves will be all right, mostly.” After a moment of hesitation, his expression sobered. “Two will likely lose their pups. Cleo is going to help them as much as they can, but the pups are close to death, and it would take a miracle to save them at this point.”

  I wore a miracle, although I didn’t know how I might convince it to save two unborn children. “We could try the Hope Diamond. Do you think that might help?”

  “Nothing we try will make the situation any worse for the puppies. Cleo believes malnutrition and stress are the main factors. None of you are healthy, though despite having endured a mauling, you’re in the best shape.”

  “I’d be sorry, but I’m not. I played along to help them, just like I was supposed to.”

  Todd reached over Anatoly and ruffled my hair, just as I expected from him when he wanted to reassure me everything would work out. “Of course. That’s what you do. Thank you for requesting me. I’ve never seen so many women cry at one time just from being brought into the herd. I asked the mares to be prepared to welcome them. They did just that. The instant the ladies realized we were genuinely willing to take them in, they had a breakdown. Henry has been dealing with that and checking in on them while Cleo has been trying to figure out how to save those puppies. The women want them, so he’ll do whatever he can. Wolves and equines together will be interesting, but we’ll make it work. I’ve already promised both women I’d take them for a ride they’d never forget if they lost their puppies. They want to be mothers.”

  I hated so much tragedy, and I hoped I could make the intractable diamond locked around my throat do some good for a change. In the meantime, I could solve one problem. “I was thinking you might introduce Rachelle to Paulus.”

  Todd’s eyes widened. “I’ll be damned. Aren’t you just a clever little tiger today? Now, being serious. How are you doing? Cleo took one look at your throat and started cursing. He started counting the bites, and he stopped after thirty. I’ve never seen him quite so speechless before. Or so angry.”

  “I was angry, too. I took it out on Ferdinand’s throat. I won’t say I’m sorry because I’m really not sorry. Did you get to the papers?”

  “Your aunt is going over them now, and she’s making plans.”

  “And Randal?”

  “He saw your throat, pitched a fit, and has been fuming downstairs ever since. Gentr
y made him leave so you could sleep. Nate’s been guarding the doorway of your nest, but it seems he got tired of you resting. Henry said you were wiped out and needed more sleep—and that you’d appreciate Nate being the one to wake you. Henry’s upset that you were mauled, and so is Cleo for that matter. Considering how fast your wounds are healing, they should be gone by the end of the day. Cleo doesn’t think any of them will scar, as he believes you’re so damned stubborn you won’t scar unless it’s a scar you want to keep. I tried to tell him that wasn’t how scars work, but he kicked me. He then blamed the Hope Diamond. Then he blamed himself, should your stubborn pride and the Hope Diamond fail to do the job, he’ll take care of it himself—or coerce another mystic to take care of it.”

  “He should thank the Hope Diamond for making his work easier.” I’d abuse the damned rock if needed to make my claim reality.

  Given a few days, I’d feel sorry for the Hope Diamond, as it would have to put up with me at my worst.

  “I’ll make sure he knows that. I’ll go let everyone else know you’re busy flirting with your tiger and will need at least an hour to settle. No naps,” he ordered.

  I hissed at him.

  “No naps,” he repeated.

  Anatoly’s position over me kept me from biting the stallion as a rebuke for trying to tell me what I could and couldn’t do. Laughing, Todd retreated, leaving me alone with my tiger.

  Anatoly pinned me beneath him and wiggled the rest of the way into my closet. “You can’t escape me now.”

  Between his weight and the closet’s confines, he was correct. The situation put him in nibbling range, and I began with kissing my favorite spot on his throat. Touching his skin soothed me as nothing else had since Ferdinand had gotten his filthy hands on me. I skipped the rest of my nibbles and nips and went straight for a bite.

  While I’d forced my hands to shift before, I hadn’t figured out how to force my fangs to make an appearance. My teeth ached, Anatoly sucked in a breath, and I tore into his skin deep enough he bled. My tongue likewise underwent a transformation, and I dragged the roughened surface over his skin to capture every last drop of his blood.

  “Is my tigress hungry?”

  I growled and licked him again.

  “I’m taking that as a yes.”

  Once the bleeding stopped, I sighed, wrapped my arms around him, and held him close. “We should take a nap.”

  “I want to, but I really need to get you downstairs before Randal loses his mind. Everyone else is bordering on losing their minds, too. The only reason I won the right to wake you up was because you’re mine, and I threatened to have a temper tantrum of the likes they’ve never seen before. They’re just going to have to learn to deal with that.”

  After losing Simmons, I didn’t have to wonder why Randal was at risk of losing his sanity. I’d worked through most of my grief for my agent already, with acceptance coming on the heels of a solidified plan of vengeance for his senseless murder.

  His memory still hurt, but I thought it would be an easier burden to bear in the upcoming days.

  “All right. Let’s get this over with so we can go take a nap. I’m so tired.”

  “You’re tired because you’ve been fighting Ferdinand’s attempts to bite you. I bit you solely to make sure any of his attempts to lay claim were fully erased. You’re mine.”

  I was, but he was equally mine, too. I nipped him to make it clear he was my tiger. “As if I’d let some stupid wolf mate with me.”

  “And for that, I’ll forever be grateful.”

  Randal and Anatoly fought for the right to curl around me, and the pair, both sporting fur coats, rolled through the pack’s sitting room, destroying the table and several of the chairs while they battled to be the supreme male. I observed, too tired to stop them.

  I regarded my aunt with a raised brow, yet another yawn slipping out. At a loss of how to deal with them, I gestured towards the pair.

  My aunt huffed. “Your tiger has been tying himself in knots. Your agent, as soon as he was recovered enough to comprehend he’d lost his partner during the fight and you were taken, has likewise been tying himself in knots. When they haven’t been conspiring to escape and find you on their own, they have been fighting with each other. Nate has been trying to convince Randal that he holds no actual responsibility for what happened to his partner, and Randal has been trying to convince Nate he was actually responsible, and that Simmons might have survived if we hadn’t separated then. Basically, your agent keeps groveling to your tiger, and your tiger isn’t having any of it. They both forget you’d planned to be taken in the first place. Losing Simmons wasn’t something any of us expected, although we lost a lot of good men and women that night.”

  Unless I took care of the problem, they’d keep fighting. Despite my exhaustion, I waded in, grabbed my tiger by his tail, and seized my agent’s scruff. “Enough, both of you!”

  Anatoly roared at me, and Randal did a good impression of a dog’s whine.

  “Idiots, both of you. Idiots! You can share.” I sat, crossed my legs, and patted my knees. “Share nicely. I’m too tired for your posturing.”

  After an exchange of swipes, the cats cooperated, and the pair used my knees as their chin rests. Once they settled, I scratched them both behind their ears. Randal purred and closed his eyes. Anatoly bit my finger hard enough I bled, and then he licked me. Once satisfied I wouldn’t bleed to death from his bite, he closed his eyes, too.

  Within moments, the pair slept.

  “Are you all right, Jesse?” my aunt asked, and she gestured at my healing throat.

  I pointed at Anatoly’s fresh bite. “This one is a good bite. I like this one. The rest will heal without scarring.”

  “Scars don’t work that way, Jesse.”

  “They do now. You can pay the bill if they don’t cooperate with my wishes. I have plans for the Hope Diamond that involve a hammer if it doesn’t cooperate with my wishes.”

  “I see you’ve decided you’re getting your way even if you have to go to extreme measures. I suppose scars do work that way when I’m footing the bill and bullying my mystics into making it happen. Please don’t try to smash the Hope Diamond with a hammer. While I should be upset over you dictating what I’ll do, I’m rather proud you’re being assertive without one of us having to pressure you into it. I’ll take progress where I can get it.”

  Knowing my aunt, she wouldn’t be happy until I took over the entire world, which went directly against how a good assassin operated. On the other hand, claiming a Clan Council member for my mate would end my days as an assassin—for the most part. Jobs would still come my way, like the unofficial one that had resulted in Ferdinand’s death. The Water Viper would appear often enough to remind people of my deeds, but no so often I’d be easy to track.

  It would do.

  I wouldn’t miss much about my life as a killer for hire.

  “They’re sleeping on me,” I observed, stroking my hand over Anatoly’s head. “How bad has it really been?”

  “It’s been pretty bad. If I thought I could put Randal on leave for a while without it breaking him, I would. Simmons had been partnered with him for a very, very long time. It’ll be hard finding someone who can take his place. I butted my head into the Secret Service’s business and told them they’d wait until you were found before searching for someone who might mesh with him—and with you. But I did get a concession from Nate to cope with a pair of agents.”

  Hell had frozen over within the last month, and I’d missed the show. “How did you sell that to him?”

  “I told him his agents would also be available to help you. That convinced him.”

  Of course. I should have known. “How bad was the attack? I only saw part of it, and then I slept through the rest. What happened to my sword?”

  “It’s with us, and it wasn’t damaged. I had it checked over, and Nate’s been carrying it around like a lifeline. We lost a lot of good agents, but all of the principals survived,
which we’re considering a miracle at this point. Rebuilding the damaged sections of the palace has already begun, and we’ve identified most of the conspirators. We haven’t caught them all, but we had identified Ferdinand and Marie early on. As expected, Todd took the news hard. He was particularly concerned you would overreact should you deal with Marie. Which you have, and he’s relieved he won’t have to deal with her himself. He even admitted he was being a coward, but he didn’t want to kill someone he’s loved a long time. You spared him a great deal of anguish, for which he is grateful. Anyway, we were aware of forces gathering in the cities you’d mentioned, but we hadn’t realized their goal, which the papers you found revealed.”

  “What is their goal? I mean, beyond killing you and taking over the United States. I’d figured that part out on my own. Obvious, really.”

  “To weaponize nuclear energy. That’s the power source mystics use to provide electricity to Charlotte and many other cities. The mystics limit how toxic that method of power generation can be. I don’t really get how it works, but I’ve been promised it isn’t an issue as long as it’s properly contained and mystics maintain the system. So, we believe they’re trying to weaponize that toxicity. The symptoms Miracle suffered through match what the mystics predict would happen to horses when exposed. It’s different when humans are exposed to it. So, she was probably used to transport this weapon and was left to die like the other horses.”

  The thought of my little mare hurt, especially as her coat had only barely begun growing back in. I didn’t even know what color she would be when she fully recovered. “Are my horses all right?”

  “They’re fine, even Miracle. She’s turning out to be a gorgeous little chestnut, possibly a buckskin. Her coat is coming back in patches, and it’ll be slow going. Right now, she’s mostly gold, but the few hairs of her mane and tail that have come back in seem dark. Nate wanted to bring your horses with us, but it would’ve taken too long to get them boarded, and we’d already delayed the train enough. We got Miracle boarded, but that’s it. She’s under guard at a nearby stable, so you can see her later. I asked for someone to bring your other horses along on the next scheduled train out, so they should be here tomorrow. Up for telling me what happened?”