She opens her mouth, but Cole speaks. “He told me at dinner the other night.”
“What?” I snap. Why would he tell him that? Cole and Celeste are obviously close. But how close are he and my dad? As far as I know, he hates him as much as I do.
“I won’t let that happen,” Celeste assures me. “And I’m the only one the school contacts. So we just won’t tell him.” She bows her head and sighs.
I glance at Cole, and he’s staring at me with disgust. Like I’m some charity case he took on. As if I asked to be part of his little twisted group.
My eyes go back to Celeste. “I don’t care. Let him send me back.” That’s what I want, right? It would get me away from Cole and his friends. It would get me out of all his fucked up scams and blackmail. I turn my attention to Cole. “Not sure why you do.”
“Austin?” Celeste starts, but I ignore her and pull my cell out of my back pocket.
I go to my contacts and find Bruce. Then hit call. Placing it to my ear, I tap my foot on the Persian rug, hoping he still has the same number. It has been four years since I’ve called him.
“Austin?” he growls in answer.
“I got suspended,” I say without wasting a second.
Chuckling has me looking up, and I see Cole. He has his hand over his mouth trying to hide a smirk. His eyes meet mine, and he shakes his head like I’ve lost my mind.
“Austin!” Celeste snaps, taking a step toward me to yank my phone from my ear, but I place my hand up to stop her and take a step back.
“What?” he barks through the line. “What the hell did you do?”
“Pulled the fire alarm.”
He lets out a growl of annoyance. “How long?”
“Three days.”
Celeste throws her hands up and storms out of the room, and I look back at Cole. He is no longer laughing at me, but he does have a smirk on his face.
My father clears his throat. “Well …” He pauses. “Will it affect graduation?”
I frown but say, “No.”
“Okay, then. Don’t do it again,” he snaps and then hangs up on me.
I place the phone in my back pocket, my eyes never leaving Cole’s. “He’s not sending me home.” He arches a brow. “Just wanted to know if it would affect graduation.” His smirk grows to a full smile, and my eyes narrow on him. He wanted to ship you back to your mother’s the other day with twenty grand. “Did you have something to do with this?” I demand.
He reaches up and rubs his lips, his eyes on mine. “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
I take a step toward him. “What did you do, Cole?”
“Insurance,” he says simply.
It’s the same thing he said to me before he sliced my arm open. “I know you’ve done something,” I snap.
“I dare you to prove it.”
I run a hand through my hair, unable to play mind games right now. I can’t take it anymore. “I need some air,” I mutter. I shove open the door to the terrace and take off. I run because it feels good. I run because that’s all I’m allowed to do. I feel like Eli’s sister’s husband. That hamster in the cage. Unable to do anything. Unable to go anywhere. I make it to the top of the hill, and the cemetery comes into view, but I don’t stop. My lungs tighten as I try to suck in a breath. My side hurts, but it’s something I did. It’s my choice. Fuck them! And their rules for me. Screw …
I’m hit from behind and thrown to the ground. “What …?” I look up to see Cole on top of me. “What are you doing?”
“What are you doing?” he snaps.
“Trying to get away from you. Now get off.” God, he’s relentless.
I shove him, but he grabs me and pins my wrists down. I growl.
“You are so frustrating,” he says, his blue eyes looking down at me, a smirk on his face. He’s enjoying this.
Bastard!
“Fight me,” he orders.
“Cole,” I snap. Not in the mood for his shit.
“I dare you to fight me.” My eyes narrow up at him, and he arches a brow. “Show me what you got, Austin.”
I buck my hips, kick my feet, and try to yank my hands free of his iron grip, but nothing works. I arch my back and scream.
He lowers his head to my neck, and I can feel his heart racing against my chest. “Let it out, sweetheart,” he whispers. “Just like you did that night I had you pinned. The night I decided you were going to be mine.”
“Stop.” I hate how he says mine. As if he really wants me to be his. No one has ever wanted me like he does, and that thought makes me a little nervous and excited.
He pulls away and looks down at me. “I’m gonna hold you here. Pinned to the ground. Helpless.” My eyes narrow on him. “And you’re gonna fight me until you have nothing left. Until you’re weak. Worn out. Until you realize I’m stronger.”
“Please,” I growl the word. Unable to say it otherwise.
“No,” he says simply.
“I hate you,” I snap.
He frowns as if that hurt his feelings. “You hate yourself, Austin.”
“No …”
“You hate that you’re powerless. You hate that you have nowhere to go.” He looks up at the cemetery and sighs. “I was once like this.” He looks back at me. “I once had no control too, Austin. But I picked myself up and fought. Now fucking fight me,” he orders.
I try once again, kicking my feet and digging my heels into the ground to throw him off. Jerking on my hands but nothing works.
He lowers his head to my neck and laughs. He fucking laughs at how weak I am. “I can do this all day, sweetheart …”
I turn my head and sink my teeth into his neck.
His left hand releases mine, and he lets out a growl from the pain. I ball my fists, swinging. I hit him in the side of the head, and his body jerks back. I dig my heels into the ground and lift my hips, throwing him forward over my head. I roll out from underneath him. He recovers quickly and lunges for me. I stick out my leg, kicking him in the chest and knocking him back. I crawl on top of him and straddle his hips. I wrap my hands around his wrists, pinning them above his head. I’m panting. Heart racing.
He has a cut on the right cheek. His bottom lip is bleeding, and he’s got a big smile on his face as he looks up at me. It’s the first real smile I’ve ever seen from him. And even though I know how evil he can be, he looks absolutely gorgeous.
“You think you’ve got me?” The amusement in his voice lets me know he’s indulging me.
I lick my lips. “I’m the one on top.”
He chuckles softly. He pushes his arms out wide, and it forces me to release his wrists. Before I can plant them by his head and catch myself from falling, his hands are on my face, and he flips us over and pins me down.
“We need to work on your speed.”
“We need to work on your attitude,” I tell him.
“Oh, yeah?” he asks, arching a dark brow. That smile still on his face. It’s so bright it’s blinding. It almost makes me forget all the shit he’s done to me. “Why do you say that?”
“’Cause I’ve known you for three weeks, and this is the first time I’ve ever seen you really smile.”
It drops off his face like he didn’t know it was there. And just like all the other times, he places that mask on that hides him from the world. I knew he’d do that. But I wanted him to know that I noticed it.
I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips. Letting him know his fuck you look doesn’t intimidate me anymore.
I’ve got you, Cole Reynolds.
His hands are on the grass on either side of my head, holding himself up. “I’ll fight you, Cole. I’ll play this game even though I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. But I dare you to smile for me. I dare you to show me something that nobody else sees.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
COLE
I STAND AT the clubhouse with my arms crossed over my chest and wearing a scowl on my face. Her words from earlier in the ce
metery gnaw at me. She fought. She showed me she has a little more in her. But then she had to go and ruin it by pointing out that I was smiling. That I, for once, was genuinely happy for a second. Nothing else mattered. It instantly pissed me off.
She’s getting to me. Not good.
I shouldn’t care. Actually, I should call the whole thing off. Call Bruce and tell him to send her ass back to her mom’s. That would be the smart thing to do. She’s clouding my head, and I need to think clearly. One fucking sentence was all it took to twist my mind. I dare you to show me something that nobody else sees.
What the fuck is that? What does she want to see? There’s only me. The hate. The rage. The fuckups. I’ve got nothing else to show.
Shane walks in and sits down on the couch next to Austin. She is texting on her phone. We haven’t spoken since that moment in the cemetery three hours ago. After she dared me, I got up and walked back to the house, leaving her lying on the ground. Then I got in my car and left. Shane sent a mass text an hour later that we all needed to meet. I sent her a text to drive yourself. She didn’t respond, but I knew she read it.
“Where the fuck is Deke?” I snap. The time he is spending with Becky is really getting annoying.
“On his way,” Kellan answers. I don’t miss his eyes gliding over Austin. She avoids looking in his direction.
“Fuck! That man gets some pussy, and everything else goes to shit,” I snap.
Just then, the door opens and in he walks. A smile on his face and licking his lips as if they were just between Becky’s legs. “Let’s get this over with.” He rubs his hands together. “I’ve got plans.”
Shane stands up and walks over to the table, not wasting another second. He places a laptop on it.
“Whose is this?” Bennett asks.
Shane smiles like a fucking idiot. “Jerrold’s.”
I stiffen. “What?”
He looks at me. “It was pretty awesome.” He turns and looks at Austin who still sits on the couch. She’s smiling as if proud of herself. “We walked in. And no one even questioned us …” I fist my hands. “She pushed her tits out and went into his office, asking about the bathroom. I’ve never seen a guy move so fast. He took her down to the lower level to show her the nicest restrooms they had.” He rolls his eyes. “And I slipped inside and stole his laptop. Then on the way out, I pulled the fire alarm so it would take longer for him to notice it was missing …” He trails off. “Told you she’d be perfect,” Shane says, looking over at Kellan. That smile still on his face. Those reservations he had last night about her, long gone.
“Seriously?” Deke asks surprised “But how did you …?”
“How did she even know who he was? Or where he was?” Kellan snaps, interrupting him. “How much have you fucking told her?”
I cross my arms over my chest.
He growls. “Cole …”
I look at her, and she throws me a smile. Like I just got caught in some big lie. “That night we killed Jeff. Remember when we heard something? It was her. She was there, and she watched us.” I haven’t told them because they never asked about where she came from or how I found her.
“Jesus!”
“I blackmailed her.” I glare at Austin. “Had Deke call my cell with hers. I took the knife and cut her arm.”
“Stitches …” Shane whispers to himself, starting to put two and two together.
“Then I took the knife and stabbed Jeff with it. Told her if she went to the cops, they could link her to the body and she’d be a suspect.”
Bennett looks amused. Shane runs his hand through his hair nervously. Kellan looks pissed, and Deke, he’s texting on his phone. “She sent me a video later that night of her burning the body.”
“What the fuck?” Kellan barks.
“Told me there was no evidence to pin her with. The following day, I took her to his work and explained why we killed him.”
Deke smiles down at his phone but speaks to me. “Good one.”
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell us all this?” Kellan demands.
“I haven’t told anyone,” she snaps at him.
He turns to face her, and I bow my chest, ready for a fight. If he goes for her, I’m going to take him down. “You need to leave,” he snaps.
She stands from the couch, her green eyes full of rage. She gives him a sinister smile, like this was her plan all along, and then her eyes meet mine. “Gladly.” She turns and heads toward the door.
“Don’t you dare walk out that door!” I shout, and she stops. I look at the guys. “Everyone out except Austin and Shane.”
“Cole …”
“Get the fuck out!”
They all look at one another for a long moment, and then their eyes go to her. She’s got her chin lifted and a fuck you look in her eyes. One by one, they start to walk out, no one speaking.
Austin stays where she is at, and Shane comes to stand in front of me. “I didn’t know what she had planned, man.”
She rolls her eyes at him ratting her out. But all of them will do that. They owe her no loyalty.
“Why did you go to him?” I ask her.
She doesn’t answer.
I turn to Shane again. He speaks without me having to ask twice. “She said she knew what it was like to have a man put his hands on her and not be able to stop it …”
My eyes shoot to her, and she is drilling holes into his head.
“Stop.” I hold up my hand to cut off whatever else he was saying. I walk over to her. “Who has hit you?” I demand. I can take a hit, she had said, but I never gave much thought to it. Not until now.
Her hard eyes meet mine. “This isn’t about me.”
“Bullshit!” I snap.
“I just wanted to help Eli’s sister.”
“She’s dead,” I snarl.
“Yes, I fucking know that.” Her voice grows louder.
I cup her cheek, softening my voice. “Who hit you?”
She flinches as if I slapped her and pulls away. “My life is none of your business.”
My father said that her mother’s boyfriend was abusing her, but at the time, I thought he meant her mom. It was her. “It was your mother’s boyfriend, right?” Her jaw sharpens, and her eyes dart to Shane again. “Did she know he put his hands on you?” She looks away from me. “Did you tell anyone?” I demand.
She looks back at me. “Like I told people about you?” she snaps. “You blackmailed me. Twice.”
“That is different.”
“How? You offered me up to Kellan. You allowed Deke to undo my pants.”
Shane’s eyes widen, but I ignore him. “I’m talking about him hitting you.” My eyes narrow on her. “Has he touched you before?”
She bites her bottom lip and looks down at her black Chucks. “Austin? This is serious.”
She throws her head back laughing, but it’s forced. “What are you gonna do, Cole?” Her green eyes meet mine again, and she spreads her arms out wide. “Gonna go to California and blackmail him? Kill him?”
“So he has touched you?” I ask through gritted teeth.
She runs a hand through her hair. “I’m not gonna discuss this.”
“Yes, you are,” I snap.
She crosses her arms over her chest. “Talking about it doesn’t change it.”
“Did he rape you?” I demand.
Shane shuffles from foot to foot.
“No,” she answers, but that doesn’t ease the tightness in my stomach. “Look.” Her eyes meet mine. “I thought we weren’t going to do this?”
I clench my fists. She’s right, but Bruce is just waiting for the first opportunity to ship her back. I have a deal with him, but that doesn’t mean he won’t fuck me over at any given moment. “Just tell me what he did.”
Her narrowed eyes go to Shane, and he looks away from her, feeling guilty for throwing her under the bus. “No, Cole!” she snaps, her anger taking over. “This conversation is over!” She turns her back to me and starts to walk toward
the door.
“Austin!”
She spins around to face me, her long hair slapping her in the face while walking backward to the door. “I’ll tell you what, Cole, when you feel like sharing your secrets with me, I’ll share mine with you.” And with that, she spins back around and walks out, slamming the door shut.
Shane and I stand in the silence, and I fist my hands down by my side. I shouldn’t have made her drive herself here. Then she wouldn’t have been able to leave.
I spin around and yank my shirt off, walking over to the punching bag. It’s my go-to when I need to relieve some anger.
“I’m sorry, man,” Shane says, clearing his throat.
“Don’t repeat what you heard tonight,” I say before I start pounding the bag, imagining it’s her mother’s boyfriend’s face, until my shoulder is screaming from the pain.
_______________
Tuesday morning, I sit in fourth period as kids put their stuff in their bags. The bell getting ready to ring, and I look over at her empty seat next to me. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I tossed and turned and imagined her as a kid—what her mom’s boyfriend did to her—and it made me think of Lilly. How evil this world is and how many men would take advantage of a little girl who couldn’t defend herself. Who has no one to protect them. It made me furious. Austin is a perfect example of that. I’ve been taking advantage of her ever since I laid eyes on her.
I got up and crawled in bed with Lilly. I held her close and kissed her hair. The thought of someone hurting her makes me sick, but nobody cares what happens to Austin.
While I laid there trying to figure out how I can protect Lilly from evil, my mind went back to Austin. I hate that she refused to tell me what her mother’s piece of shit boyfriend has done. How old was she the first time he hit her? Touched her? Did her mother protect her?
I haven’t heard from her, but the urge to pick up my phone and text her has been strong.
The bell rings, and I walk down the hallway, into the cafeteria, and sit down at our usual table.
Becky comes in with Deke on her arm, and they laugh like they’ve got nothing but jokes to tell. For the first time, I envy my best friend. He can turn it off like a switch. He can go from murderer to a fucking comedian in an instant. Not me. I hate the world. I hate myself. And I hate Austin.
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