“Marriage?” I interrupted him. “You do realize I’m not Amish—though my appearance might tend to say different,” I chuckled.
“I am only proposing a courting period so we can get to know each other again. I am asking your permission to court you—and the children,” he said all with one breath.
“You mean you want to court me, and spend time with my children too?” I asked, surprised.
“I want to get to know them too. It isn’t quite the same as it was when Elijah courted you—now there are children involved in the process. I look at your family as a packaged deal, so I wouldn’t want to exclude them. If you will consent, may I get the children’s opinion, too?” he asked.
After pondering his unusual request, I decided that it would be nice to have the affection of such a handsome gentleman and he had always had a place in my heart. Besides, I knew my children already liked him, and would most assuredly be open to the idea of having him around on a regular basis. Still, he wanted to consult them, so I called them from the kitchen duties to join Bradley and me on the porch. Once they had settled onto the rail of the porch, Bradley formally addressed them.
“I would like to ask you children something of an unusual nature. Your Mam and I have discussed the possibility of my courting her, but I would like the permission of you children to court your Mam,” he said, using their name for me.
I watched as they all looked wide-eyed at each other, then, at me. Abigail and Elizabeth snickered, while Simon made the usual set of faces that he puts on when he doesn’t know how to react to a situation.
“Mam needs a husband, and we need a new Papa, since we lost ours,” Eli spoke up.
I momentarily wanted to protest, thinking his statements to be untrue, but I held my tongue. I didn’t feel I was in need of a husband. I thought that I had done well for myself and for the children without Elijah. Why he thought I needed a husband was something I wanted an explanation for, but not until later.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Abigail beat me by asking him.
“I don’t mean it in a bad way. It’s just that since Papa died, we haven’t been quite as happy as we have today with Doc Bradley here.”
He was correct in saying that. However, it still left Bradley’s question unanswered.
“I agree,” spouted Jakob.
“Me too,” Eva joined in shyly.
“Do we all want Doc Bradley to court Mam?” Eli asked the remaining children.
“Yes,” they practically shouted.
Smiles abounded on every face—especially Bradley’s. I still felt a little nervous, but if my children were that eager, I would put my fears behind me for their sake. I was attracted to Bradley, so I knew that having my old friend as a new friend could only be thought of as a blessing. The children asked to play a little in the yard, and I consented since they had worked in the kitchen for half an hour already.
“I suppose you want my answer now?” I asked quietly after the children were out of earshot.
“I’m praying it will be as positive as the children’s answer,” he admitted.
“I like the idea, and if my children are happy about it, then I am happy. I would never do anything that would upset them.”
“Nor would I,” he said sincerely.
“What happens now?” I asked.
“Well, I don’t want to invite myself to dinner all the time, and I don’t want you thinking you have to cook for me all the time. So, I would like to cook for you and the children next time. I took cooking classes in college and haven’t had the chance to try my recipes on anyone other than my mother so far. Are you up to something like that?”
“It sounds wonderful! I like the idea of getting a night off from the cooking. Will you be able to work with the wood stove?” I asked.
“My buddies and I went camping during the summers, and I did the cooking over an open camp fire. It didn’t always turn out, but I was just learning then, so I think I can handle it just fine,” he said with enthusiasm.
“How should I bring this up to my mother?” I suddenly asked.
“They know I’m in town. Your mother even invited me to dinner on Tuesday evening because that is my short day of rounds.”
“Mam invited me to dinner on Tuesday also. She didn’t know that I was having you over today because I wasn’t sure how to tell her. I made Nadine promise not to tell her, so she probably thinks she’s gonna fix us up,” I giggled.
Bradley let out a hearty laugh as he took my hand and led me down the steps of the porch and into the yard where the children were playing. Eli playfully tagged him, and hollered that he was now “it”. Bradley, standing next to me, tagged my arm and said the same to me.
“That’s not fair,” I shouted. “I didn’t even say I was playing. You can’t tag somebody that isn’t playing, “I complained playfully.
“You’re “it” now, Mam,” Eli said. “So I guess that means you’re playing,” he laughed.
Bradley took off in a sort of half-skip run, so as to accommodate the braces on his legs. The children scattered, as they teased me from afar, saying I couldn’t catch them. Abigail and Elizabeth each took one of Eva’s arms and ran with her to get her far enough away from me that she could run on her own. I turned around to see where each one went before deciding which of them looked closer to me. Simon was the closest, and teasing the most, so I picked up the bottom of my skirt and ran after him until Bradley got a little too close, so I attempted to tag him back. Unfortunately, I had run so fast that I slammed into him, bringing us both to the ground. We stayed on the grass where we landed and I laughed until my sides were sore. The children came over complaining that we were too clumsy to play and Simon officially kicked us out of the game. We didn’t mind, we merely remained on the grass laughing, as we watched the children happily playing their game.
THREE
FAITH MOVES MOUNTAINS
On Tuesday, Mam insisted that I come to dinner even though I filled her in regarding the time that I’d already spent with Bradley. After speaking with her for nearly an hour about the subject, she had me convinced that she was trying to secure a new husband for me.
It made me angry that she refused to accept that I needed some time to adjust to having a man in my life again, or that I was capable of making up my own mind regarding who I would choose for my companion. I knew she meant well, so I humored her for as long as I could manage the conversation. When she began to push a little, I panicked slightly, as though I were dealing with the mother that I had known her to be in my growing years.
“Mam, I appreciate your efforts toward getting me a husband, but I need to do my own choosing, I said letting out an obvious sigh.
“I’m sorry, Jane. I don’t mean to meddle in your love life.”
I hugged her, feeling a little removed from her for the first time in years. She held me tightly, leaving me wondering if she would ever let go. When she finally released me from her grasp, I looked into her face and saw that she had been weeping quietly. Tears spilled over from my own eyes, as I gave in to the release from the tension that had momentarily come between us. I didn’t like the feeling that had come over me before our hug—I’d hoped that manner of dealing with one another had been left in the past, but it had sneaked up on us unaware. Mam grabbed both of my hands and began to pray a soft prayer of repentance for her harsh attitude and the control that she had taken up again. We both wept some more and held each other in a way that was like the first time she held me after she had received salvation.
“Well let’s get dinner cooking, Bradley is due to be here in less than an hour,” I said cheerfully.
She smiled at me as we went to the kitchen to cook the meal that would bring an old friend into the circle of newness in our family.
****
At dinner, Mam kept the things that she had spoken earlier to herself. I was grateful that she didn’t embarrass me the way she had when I was a child. Bradley couldn’t believe the change that our family h
ad undergone since the last time he’d spent time with us. He and Mam actually had a great conversation about the day of her salvation, which she attributed to his influence in my life. She thanked him for giving me the Bible that I’d used to read to her during those early months after I prayed the sinner’s prayer with her. She got teary-eyed when he asked her to give her full testimony of her life before turning her life around. I suddenly wanted to bolt from the room, feeling unable to relive the pain that I had endured as a child. Bradley took my hand in his and held it gently, as my mother began to confess her past to this eager gentleman. Surprisingly, I felt no pain from her allegation against her own character. Instead, I felt relief that I could hear her speak about it, without giving my own “version” of how she had been as a mother when I was growing up. She, in fact, admitted everything, which caught me so much by surprise that I could not refute any of her statements, nor did I have the desire to do so. Though she was brief and discreet, so as not to frighten the children, she was bold in her declaration, leaving me feeling proud that she was my mother.
When dinner was over, Abigail offered to clean up with Mam so Bradley and I could take a walk together along the path before it became dark. I picked up my sweater before walking out the side door of the house I had lived in as a teenager. There was a familiarity about walking out that side door with the giddiness that quenched my stomach. Having Bradley beside me instead of Elijah did not feel awkward for the first time—maybe because I had put aside my worries over walking the same paths and having similar conversations with this new man.
****
On Sunday, Bradley sat with the children and me at the church meeting again. I felt a little uneasy, wondering what the talk might be among the local women. I knew better than to worry myself over what people might think of my situation, but it didn’t make it any easier. Just knowing that I would be talked about made me squirm in my seat. Bradley put his arm behind me and rested it on the back of the bench. I quickly gave him a look to remove it—I had already informed him that the public display of affection within the community was looked upon with disgrace. He merely winked at me and left his arm in place. I nudged his ribs with my elbow, but his arm remained behind me. Eva looked up at me with a slight frown as I slipped in a little closer to her. Bradley leaned over then and whispered in my ear.
“I’m sorry if this is difficult for you, Jane, but you knew when you agreed to court me that I was not Amish and would have difficulty in keeping with some of the rules that you have grown used to.”
“It’s not a problem. I was having more a problem with my pride and worrying over what the women folk would say about me,” I confessed.
He smiled. “Maybe they’re jealous.”
****
Fall arrived in full color, creating a picturesque countryside. Bradley and I had begun to take walks in the evenings when he was through with his rounds, and the wonderful array of color that clothed the trees was always breathtaking. People in the community had begun to talk about the company I’d been keeping, and even wondered if we were courting. At first, I feared our new commitment would lead to banishment from Elijah’s family, but the children continued to take their usual visits with their grandparents.
I had felt somewhat apprehensive of the situation because of Elijah’s family. I knew deep down that the Zook’s would not disapprove of my courtship with Bradley, and that they only wanted to see me truly happy again. Bradley was extremely patient with me in my dealings with Naomi.
The day Bradley decided to ask me to marry him caught me completely off guard, though I knew the question was eminent. The truth was that I felt a little too happy, yet nervous at the same time. I couldn’t quite figure out if it was due to making the commitment, or the fear of possibly losing Bradley the way I had lost Elijah. All I was certain of was that I felt like a teenager again, and Bradley was responsible for this happiness.
Maybe it’s time I gave Bradley an answer, I chided myself. After all, he did ask me a week ago and I do love him. I knew when I consented to courting him it would eventually come to this. Still, it feels sorta sudden.
In all reality, I was waiting for Penelope and her family to arrive, so I would have a diversion and more time to think about it. Although I had asked Nadine and Hannah their opinions, I wanted to get counsel from someone who had been friends with Bradley and me as children before I made the final decision. The whole thing was scary and exciting at the same time.
The children had been begging me to make up my mind ever since I told them, leaving me wondering if I should have kept it to myself until I decided. They had come to love Bradley, and already thought of him as part of the family. They knew just as well as I did how much he was wanted and needed in our lives. We had become so close in the months during our courtship that it seemed as though we had been a family from the very beginning. My biggest problem was learning to accept the fact that God had blessed me with a wonderful godly man again. I knew I was not to waste this opportunity, but I lacked the boldness that I needed to accept Bradley’s offer.
****
One sunny, October afternoon, I walked down the long stretch of the worn path that led to the main road where the row of mailboxes stood. I kicked up dust as I trudged along; letting my thoughts wander to Bradley and what our wedding would be like if we were to have one. I felt my cheeks flush as I wondered about the possibility of having other children. It was something that hadn’t crossed my mind until that moment and, admittedly, made me nervous.
When I reached the long row of rural mailboxes, my eye caught the lettering on the boxes. I read the names of each family member on each box in the row. The first one read; Abraham Zook, then Benjamin Lapp and Jack Reeves, followed by David Yoder and Mitchell Reeves, then at the far end of the first row, Elijah Zook. It suddenly felt strange to see my deceased husband’s name still on the box, especially since he no longer received any mail. I traced the letters with my fingers, then, began peeling his first name from the box, leaving the letters of my last name. It had been more than a year since Elijah’s death, yet no one had thought to remove his name from the box. Maybe we had all become so accustomed to seeing his name on the box that it didn’t seem that important that it remain in place. As I finished peeling of the letters, however, it felt to me like the final phase of putting my husband to rest and leaving the past behind me once and for all.
I tucked the sticky letters in my apron pocket and opened the box to get my mail, realizing for the first time that my last name would no longer be Zook when I married Bradley. I had been a Zook for almost eighteen years, and it suddenly made my stomach flutter at how much would change when Bradley and I married. I pushed the negative thoughts from my head, determined to be optimistic.
My heart lightened when I saw that the letter I was expecting from Penelope was among the mail. I opened the letter and read it as I walked back slowly toward the farm.
Dear Jane,
It was so exciting to get your recent letter. I was so happy to hear that Bradley asked you to marry him. Did you already tell him yes? In your letter you seemed to be unsure of whether you would agree to be his wife. I hope it isn’t because of Elijah, but if it is, it’s OK to move on. I thought it was the most wonderful news, and you are so lucky. I pray that you will tell him yes very soon, and the two of you will plan the wedding to take place while we are visiting. I talked it over with Jonathon, and we decided to stay the entire month of November just as you requested. By the way, don’t most of the Amish have their weddings in November? (Hint, hint!)
If all goes well, we should arrive November first. Write back soon to confirm our plans, since, we only have a few weeks to prepare for the trip. I also need to know how long our stay will be, so I can plan accordingly for the children’s homework since they will miss a month of school if we stay on that long.
In other news, Jonathon just purchased a mini-van, so we will not need to take the train. Besides, I would like the opportunity to go to the Shipshewana
Flea Market once we arrive in Indiana to look at antiques.
Our cat, Tootles, has been missing for three days and the children want a new one! I think he ran off and found himself a nice girl cat! I had a tough time explaining to the children that we would have to wait until we returned from our visit with your family before we could consider getting another cat. Why is it, children seem to have such a difficult time understanding the concept of time?
Hope all is well with your family. I look forward to your next letter soon.
Love to all,
Penelope
By the time I finished the letter, I wasn’t even halfway home. I walked so slowly while I concentrated on reading the letter, that Eva had run down the lane to greet me. She ran to my waiting arms as though she hadn’t seen me in a long time. I boosted the dirty child up on my hip, struggling to hold her up with one arm while I read the letter over again. I knew I would need to take care of some things quickly before I wrote back to her because time was running out.
****
Dinner with Bradley had become so regular, that I saw him nearly every day. The children worked hard at providing an atmosphere for the two of us to have some quiet time on the porch after dinner. We would take our dessert on the swing and Bradley would talk of potential plans for our future.
The Taming of a Wild Flower: Book Three (Amish Fiction/Romance, Christian Romance) Page 3