Forever Beach

by Shelley Noble

  “I left Pete downstairs with Ms. McKinney and took the stairs to the White apartment on the fourth floor. The police met me there.”

  She clicked on the first photo and flinched as the picture filled the screen. The two individuals sprawled on a sagging couch, surrounded by unspeakable filth.

  Click. A close-up of beer, drugs, and drug paraphernalia.

  Click. The living room. The kitchen. The doorway to the second room.

  She slowed to let everyone get the full effect of the photos. At least that’s what she told herself. But it was really to give herself time to prepare to relive those horrifying moments over again. Only today it would be even worse, because today she already knew exactly what she’d find.

  “The room was dark and hideously hot. The smell was—” She swallowed.

  Click. Jerome on the filthy bed, too weak to move.

  Her hand was shaking so much she could barely click on the next photo. The crib filled with clothes.

  The courtroom was completely silent except for her own breathing. Twenty years of triumphs and tragedies, successes and failures, and the faces of hundreds and hundreds of children and parents paraded through her mind.

  “I found the baby underneath the clothes. He was unresponsive, but still alive.”

  She felt the courtroom exhale. It was her undoing. She managed to grab the back of a chair and sit down before she fell. Next to her one of the guardian ad litems took a tissue from her purse and handed it to Reesa. Used another for herself. And blew her nose.

  Even Judge Whitaker looked stunned. Pete, Jerome, and Baby White had ceased to be just another docket number in a slew of docket numbers.

  “The children were removed to the county hospital where Pete was given a full physical and psychological evaluation and checked into the hospital. Jerome and the baby were checked into critical care.”

  The testimony continued. The lawyers for the two parents put up a minimal defense. They were both in jail.

  The judge ruled in favor for permanency for all three boys.

  All those involved in the case were excused.

  Reesa shoved the stack of papers into her briefcase. So much paperwork for such small boys. But today she didn’t resent it. She knew as well as most, they hadn’t found a better way to run the system. And in its way, the mountains of paper helped them cope with the brutality of their job.

  But not for Reesa. Not anymore.

  The parties involved in the next hearing exchanged places with those who had just finished, and who for the most part made their way up the aisle toward the coffee shop to wait for their next hearing.

  She slid her laptop into her briefcase and lugged it up the aisle to the courtroom door.

  A man was standing at the back and opened the door for her. She looked up to thank him.

  It was Michael.

  “Michael. What are you doing here?”

  “I got a job. Temporary but a job. I called your cell, but you didn’t answer.”

  “They’re not allowed in the courtroom.”

  “So I called your work. They said you were here.”

  Reesa didn’t know what to think or how to react. “I’m glad you found work, Michael. I am.”

  She stepped through the door and kept walking.

  He caught up to her. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I had no idea what you went through every day. I’m sorry.”

  Reesa kept walking. She was just so tired. She’d reached the street and stopped to wait for traffic to pass.

  “I want to come home.”

  “No one is stopping you.” She stepped off the curb and headed toward her car. She just wanted to get out. She didn’t want to deal with Michael or the problems with their marriage. She needed to get to the center, no, she needed to go to the beach. Breathe the clean air. Feel the pull of the waves. Why did they never go to the beach?

  “I know I’ve been an ass. I was hoping you’d forgive me.”

  “I quit my job, Michael. I’m not going back.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  She stopped. Looked at him. “No, I don’t. I don’t have to do any of it.”

  “Including me?”

  “Including you.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “That this isn’t about your not having a job or about the job I’ve had.”

  “Then what?”

  Reesa took a breath. “The job thing is a part of it, but it just made me realize that it’s about us, Michael, and has been for a while.”

  “But you could give us another chance.”

  “I could. But I’m not going back to what it was.”

  His brow furrowed. She did love him, had for a long time, but she’d just lost it in the other stuff. But you might be able to find love again. It might be possible.

  “Just say you’ll think about it.”

  “I’ll think about it.” And she walked away.

  “Hey, Rees. Want to go for a walk on the boardwalk tonight? Maybe catch one of the concerts on the beach?”

  Reesa stuttered to a stop. Turned around.

  “I know you’ve been going to the beach. We could go there together.”

  The beach? A concert? Michael? “That would be nice.”

  “Pick you up around seven?”

  “Okay.”

  He nodded, turned, and walked away.

  Reesa watched for a second then headed for her car. Maybe there was hope for them after all.

  THAT AFTERNOON RANDY called Sarah back. He was having trouble getting an information hearing scheduled. Like he reiterated, judges were out of town, a lot of the social service people were taking a much needed break. He finally got something for the beginning of September. Until then they would just have to make the best of it.

  Fine. Sarah just wouldn’t turn her over to Carmen on the following Saturday. She’d say she had a temperature or something. They couldn’t expect the kid to go for a visit if she were sick. That might work for one visit, but probably not more than one. She could take them away—not run away.

  Like Wyatt said, that would be hard on everyone, not to mention illegal. But they could drive to Cape May, or Florida for hell’s sake. But she’d have to petition the court to be allowed to leave, and that would be more paperwork, and with so many people on vacation it would probably take weeks.

  She began to get frantic.

  WHEN THE MAIL arrived Wednesday morning, Sarah gathered it up without thinking, then she saw the official envelope. Her world turned upside down, and dread rose in waves of nausea up her body. What could it possibly be this time?

  She tore open the envelope, like a bandage on a healing wound. Show no mercy, snatch the skin away when you pull.

  It was a court order: a stay on the unsupervised visits. Sarah read it twice. Looked at the date to make sure it hadn’t been lost in the mail for months and was out of date.

  A stay on visits until the next hearing. Randy had come through, after all. She’d maligned him, and she should have trusted him.

  She called to tell him so. “I just received a stay for the unsupervised visits. I don’t know how you did it. But thank you.”

  “What stay? What are you talking about?”

  “From Judge Whitaker.”

  “This is the first I’ve heard of it.”

  “You aren’t responsible?”

  “No.”

  Was it some kind of sick joke? Sarah looked at the paper again. It looked official.

  “You haven’t been sent a copy?”

  “No. But my mail hasn’t come yet today.”

  But then who? Danny maybe. But did he have the clout to get a judge to reverse his decision, even if only temporarily. Reesa? She might have the judge’s ear. Could the judge have possibly done it himself, but why? He didn’t know about the last Saturday visit. Maybe he had learned something to Carmen’s discredit.

  She didn’t want to wish the woman ill, but Sarah had had enough. She’d been patient, she’d cooperated, no
w she wanted to be Leila’s mother.

  Well, whoever it was, she thanked the person with all her heart. Sarah and Leila had a reprieve, at least long enough for someone to investigate Carmen’s most recent activity.

  Sarah called Karen and told her the news. Then Reesa. But she had to leave a message because her call went to voice mail. She didn’t even know who else to call. She wanted to call Wyatt, but she was afraid to welcome him into their lives again because it was just a momentary stay.

  It wouldn’t last. And she didn’t think either of them could handle another rift. So she kept quiet and hoped he would drop by. He didn’t.

  Sarah imagined him diving with Caitlyn, who knew how to swim. Her hair probably didn’t even look bad when it got wet.

  So she didn’t call. She just breathed a huge sigh of relief, stuck her tongue out at the wall calendar as she walked by. Then she went back and pulled the sticker off next Saturday’s box and took Leila for ice cream.

  Her phone rang while they were sitting at one of the tables outside the ice cream parlor. It was Reesa. Maybe she’d heard the good news.

  “Hey. I guess you got the notice.”

  “What notice?”

  “The stay from unsupervised visitations until another hearing is scheduled. I called to thank Randy for managing it, but he said he didn’t. He couldn’t even get an info hearing until the end of the month.”

  “Wow. That’s interesting. That’s great. I wonder.”

  “Wonder what?”

  “Nothing. I just called to ask if it would be possible for Ilona Cartwright to meet Leila tomorrow? Around three when she gets home from school.”

  “She doesn’t— Why does she want to meet her?” Sarah asked, suddenly suspicious.

  “Because she’s her legal ad litem. It’s customary to do so. It is usually a good idea for her to get to know the child . . . and see how she’s living. It could work in your favor.”

  Sarah doubted that.

  “I’ll accompany her, if you like.”

  Sarah considered. “All right, tomorrow at three. Oh, how did your hearing go?”

  “Good; well, as good as could be expected. All three boys go on permanency. The baby might even have a chance of a decent life. Gotta run. See you tomorrow.”

  “Right.” Sarah hung up. Maybe she should hurry home and clean. She stopped herself. Her cottage was clean enough. It was a good place to live, and she had a feeling no matter how much she scrubbed, Ilona Cartwright would make her own conclusions and they’d be based more on her hatred of Sarah than on any state the house was in.

  STILL, THE NEXT morning Sarah cleaned house. She sat Leila down and explained how Reesa was bringing another lady over to say hello and that she would probably ask some questions.

  She watched as Leila went from calm to wary.

  Sarah took a breath. Dare she tell Leila she wouldn’t have to go to Carmen’s on Saturday? She was just on edge enough, just superstitious enough to be afraid that it would blow up in her face. She took the chance.

  “And you can spend Saturday here instead of going to Carmen’s. Would you like that?”

  Leila narrowed her eyes at Sarah, and for a moment Sarah was afraid she was going to say she wanted to go. But the moment passed.

  Sarah made sure Leila took a nap so she wouldn’t be cranky and skittish when Ilona came, though the lawyer was enough to make anyone cranky. Sarah took the time to work on an old pocket watch that had been wound so tight that the mainspring had broken. Wyatt’s words. Clocks broke when they were wound too tight, and so did people.

  She pulled the jeweler’s loupe over her eye and went to work. The repair went quickly and Sarah found herself reaching for Mrs. Bridges’s violin clock. Sarah managed to realign the mechanisms so that they lined up correctly to the brass plate. She carefully screwed the mechanism to the plate, and it slid neatly into the cavity of the clock. Holding the plate steady with one hand, she secured it in place.

  The doorbell rang. Sarah looked up. It was only 2:30. They were early. Damn. She quickly finished attaching the mechanism so that it would not shift until she could give it her full attention. With any luck Mrs. Bridges would have her clock back by the end of the week.

  She turned off the work lamp, pulled off the loupe, and hurried to the front of the house. The bell rang again.

  Leila was still napping. Damn. She would be shy and groggy when Ilona met her. Well, she’d have to offer them tea or something while she woke Leila and gave her time to be fully awake.

  She opened the door. “Sorry, I was in the—”

  “Where’s my baby? Where’s Leila?”

  Carmen Delgado pushed past Sarah, stopped in the middle of the living room, and called, “Leila, Leila, honey, Mama’s here. I’ve come to take you home.”

  “Carmen. You can’t do this. You really need to leave.” Sarah reached in her pocket for her phone to call 911, then realized it was on her worktable in the back room.

  “I want my baby.”

  Carmen’s words were slurred. She was either drunk or on drugs. Back where she started. And Sarah felt almost as sad for Carmen as she was relieved for Leila and herself.

  Carmen started toward the bedrooms, but the drugs had made her cumbersome, and Sarah beat her to the doorway. She braced her hands on the doorjambs to bar the way.

  “Carmen, listen to me. You can’t take her this way.”

  “I want my baby.”

  Sarah felt Leila come up behind her and press her body into her side. “Go back to your room,” Sarah said as gently as she could muster. Leila didn’t move.

  “Come here, baby. Mama loves you. We can go home, just come with me.”

  Sarah felt Leila’s head shake; she started to tremble.

  “Please, Carmen. You’re scaring her. We can talk about this later.”

  “No talk. They sent me a letter. You’re all against me. Come here, Leila.”

  Her slur was getting worse. Whatever drugs she was on were taking effect.

  “Give me my baby.” Carmen threw herself at Sarah, knocking her backward. Leila screamed and ran past Carmen. Carmen grabbed for her, but Sarah regained her feet and lunged to stop her.

  Sarah knew Leila wouldn’t be able to get out of the house. The doors were childproofed. From the corner of her eye she saw Leila veer to the left. Sarah knew where she was going. To hide behind Sam’s chair.

  “Bitch, you steal my baby.”

  “Carmen, you can’t take care of her right now. You need to get yourself straight. You can visit anytime you want.” She hoped to hell Leila wasn’t listening to this lie. “I’ll take really good care of her.”

  Carmen twisted out of Sarah’s grasp. “Leila, get out here. We’re goin’ home.”

  Sarah could hear Leila whimpering behind the chair. So could Carmen.

  She grabbed the back of the chair and dragged it out of the way. It toppled over, leaving Leila exposed.

  “No!” Sarah cried. She rushed at Carmen. Carmen turned, her arm extended, and hit Sarah across her shoulders. Sarah flew back, her head cracked against the wall; she heard the tinkle of glass as a vase hit the floor and the world went black.

  Chapter 29

  Reesa and Ilona pulled into a parking space outside Sarah’s cottage. They’d gone to interview Carmen first but were told she hadn’t shown up for work that day. Her supervisor was pretty angry. The company had given Carmen a chance on the recommendation of the Child Protection and Permanency staff.

  He was upset. Reesa was worried.

  Ilona suggested they go to her apartment, but Reesa convinced her to go straight to Sarah’s. They were a few minutes early.

  “She may be at the bus picking Leila up, but if she hasn’t left yet, it will give you a chance to talk to her.”

  Ilona nodded.

  Reesa wondered what was going on.

  Ilona had been particularly quiet since she’d arrived. Sure, the two of them had not parted on very good terms, but it wasn’t like Ilona to hold a
grudge. They’d had differences of opinion before.

  Reesa had tried to talk about it and apologize for her own behavior though she didn’t really mean it. And she didn’t trust Ilona even today.

  Reesa got out of the car, and Ilona reached into the back for her briefcase. Reesa didn’t have hers today. Just as well, it would be her beast, to Ilona’s beauty.

  They went up the short walk to the cottage single file.

  The minute Reesa stepped on the porch, she knew something was wrong. The front door was open. Sarah never left the door open.

  She held out her hand to stop Ilona and stepped just inside the door. Sarah’s favorite reading chair lay on its side, a shelf had been overturned, and broken glass was scattered at its base.

  Sarah lay crumpled on the floor nearby.

  “Sarah!” Reesa rushed to her, fell to her knees, and felt for a pulse.

  Sarah groaned.

  “Thank God.”

  Sarah’s eyes opened, shut again. Flew open. “Reesa?” She tried to move, yelped, and fell back. “My head.”

  “I’ll call an ambulance,” Ilona said.

  “No.”

  “Too late.”

  Sarah bolted upright. “Leila.”

  Reesa looked around. “She’s still at school.”

  “No. She didn’t go to school. I took her out for the last two weeks. Leila.”

  “She was here?”

  “Yes. Carmen came. Oh God. Where is she?” Sarah struggled to get up.

  “Stay put.” Reesa motioned to Ilona. “Check the kitchen and the back workshop.”

  Feeling a dread that she thought she’d left behind, Reesa went to search the bedrooms. Leila’s room was neat, just a couple of books on the bed, but no Leila.

  She checked the bathroom, calling Leila’s name. She could hear Ilona calling from the other side of the cottage. When she went back to the living room, Sarah had somehow gotten to her feet and was leaning up against the wall. She saw Reesa and staggered toward her.

  “We’ve got to get her back. Carmen took her. She was high and getting higher. She kept saying ‘I want my baby.’ I tried to reason with her . . .” She trailed off, put a hand to her forehead, which was bleeding into her eye.

  Reesa uprighted the chair and sat her down.