My Sisters And Me

by Lisa Dickenson

  ‘Christmas TV adverts start?’

  ‘Halloween, for god’s sake,’ said Rae. ‘So I was thinking… We’re going to have a party!’

  ‘What?’ said Emmy.

  ‘When?’ asked Noelle.

  ‘Halloween. We’re going to throw Maplewood a Halloween party.’

  Emmy was completely bemused. ‘Who would come to a party at our house? Jared, Gabbi, Jenny, and…? Did you forget that everyone here hates us?’

  ‘We’d invite everyone – especially the people that hate us. Don’t you want them to see another side to us, finally?’

  ‘By having them snoop around our house? No! I don’t care if they never see any side of us, in a few more weeks we’ll be done with this place.’

  ‘Emmy, you’re never “done” with this place, don’t you realise that?’

  Emmy blinked at Rae. ‘What does that mean?’

  ‘You carry around your childhood growing up here like it’s a sack full of stones. Like it defines everything about you even though you refuse to look at it.’

  ‘I do not.’

  ‘Actually, you do, Rae and I talk about it all the time,’ Noelle added.

  ‘You do not! Do you?’

  Rae continued, ‘You’re so broken about how living here made you feel about yourself, but I want you to literally face your demons by partying with them. Don’t you think the teenage Emmy would have loved to have hosted a party?’

  ‘Absolutely not! It would have terrified her and probably made her miss Doctor Who. And what’s all this “you need to get over it, you’re so broken” stuff – you’ve been stomping around since you got back, wanting to pick a fight with anyone that gives you a turned-up nose.’ Of all people, it stung to have her sister be so flippant about her feelings.

  ‘You’re right,’ Rae shrugged, and Emmy was taken aback. ‘I need to get over it too. When I’m angry and stomping around it’s only hurting me, not anyone else. I’m pretty chill when I’m at home. And a lot of that is Finn, but a lot of it is because a group of small-minded people from a small market town don’t even cross my mind. Look, it’s not fair and it’s not right that we would be the ones holding out the olive branch, but let’s just do it. Let’s show them all they’re wrong and then get on with our lives.’

  Emmy was quiet for a long time, watching Vicky and making snorty little huffs through her nose while she thought. Rae and Noelle stayed silent, letting her work through the shooting stars of emotions.

  Eventually, she said, ‘Isn’t it more waving the white flag than offering the olive branch?’

  ‘Surrendering?’ Noelle clarified. ‘No, I don’t think so. I think what Rae’s suggesting isn’t giving in. Giving in would be leaving, running away or going back to hiding ourselves away from the town centre any time we come and visit Mum. This is just growing up, I guess.’

  Rae nodded, watching Emmy closely. A few more snorts, but she was relenting. ‘The carpets won’t be down until afterwards, so we wouldn’t need to worry about spillage,’ Rae coaxed.

  ‘So we’d be telling people it was a proper Halloween party? With decorations?’

  ‘Oooooooo!’ With that, Noelle was on board.

  ‘All the decorations you want,’ agreed Rae.

  ‘And costumes? Would people dress up?’

  ‘We can certainly put it on the invite.’

  ‘Would we dress up?’

  Uh-oh, Rae saw where this was going. She internally struggled for a few seconds before relenting. Rae had never given in to this request in the past, but if this was what it was going to take. ‘Yes, we can dress up as the three Sanderson sisters from Hocus Pocus.’

  ‘You can’t come? Oh balls.’

  Rae was on the phone to Finn later that night, talking quietly so she didn’t disturb her sisters. She leaned against her bedroom window watching the silhouettes of the trees swaying in the gusty wind.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Finn said, his voice sad. He sounded genuinely gutted. ‘I really wanted to make it down next weekend but this project is overrunning like nobody’s business. Believe me, I would much rather be with you. I miss being with you.’

  ‘I miss it too.’ She too was gutted. She missed her husband and had been counting down the days to seeing him at the midway point. ‘Don’t forget me up there, will you?’

  ‘As if I ever would. I’ll be down as soon as I can.’

  ‘Do you think you’ll make it here for the Halloween party?’

  ‘I hope so. That’s what, two and a half weeks away? Hopefully I can come down for that, stay a couple of days, then bring you back with me for your show.’

  ‘Then I’ll just have to come back here for about one more week, and it should all be over!’ Looking around her room it was hard to believe that would be possible. The purple and silver were still there, though the window was new. Her belongings had depleted, but not disappeared. But they would get there.

  She left the window and snuggled under her duvet. She needed some non-Maplewood conversation for a while. She loved her sisters, she liked reconnecting with Gabbi, but she missed her home – the home where her heart was, with Finn. ‘Tell me about work,’ she said, and closed her eyes, ready to hear his soft, melodic voice. ‘Tell me about everything you’ve been doing, and make sure it sounds dull so I know you’ve missed me.’

  Chapter 15

  ‘Does anyone mind if I take the morning off?’ Noelle asked over breakfast the next day. ‘I want to go and meet Jenny for a coffee.’

  ‘You go, girl,’ Emmy nodded through a mouthful of cereal. ‘That’s not cool from my lips. You go for it. You won’t be able to do much to the outside of the house in this weather, and I think we’re running to pretty good time inside.’ The rain had finally stopped, though the decking and grounds squelched underfoot, and a low mist hung over the woods, enveloping their house.

  ‘Actually, I was going to chuff off for a couple of hours too, if you don’t mind,’ Rae said. ‘Gabbi’s working at home this morning so asked if I fancied coming over for more of a catch-up now her niece has gone home.’

  ‘Fine, fine, leave me to do all the hard work,’ Emmy joked. But once they were out the door, Emmy found herself unmotivated. She wandered from room to room, looking at what needed to be done and then sauntering away again. During her third trip back to the living room, she realised what the problem was.

  She’d never spent time alone in the house since moving away.

  ‘I’m on my own,’ she said aloud to the living room. Her words echoed against the walls, which were bare of the usual furniture. It had all been pushed into the middle instead, and covered in sheets, except for the sofa and chairs which were uncovered so the girls could still climb over and sit on them during the evenings. ‘Hello,’ she said, her voice sounding alien.

  When she was alone in her house in Harwell, it was rare for Emmy to talk to herself. Not unheard of, but rare.

  All of a sudden, she imagined her mum, and wondered if she ever talked to herself. Did she ever talk to Emmy’s dad?

  ‘Dad?’ she tried, barely above a whisper.

  Nothing happened.

  Face your demons, she told herself, and then said aloud, ‘Sorry, Dad, not calling you a demon.’

  Emmy went over to her dad’s chair and climbed in. She sat for a while prodding the arm rest. She cleared her throat and spoke again, pushing away the feelings of silliness; she needed to stop caring so much about what other people thought about her actions, especially when there weren’t even any people in the room.

  ‘Dad, sorry I didn’t come and visit more. I hope you…’ She took a pause to collect her thoughts, and a couple of small tears dropped on to the worn leather of the seat. ‘I hope you know you were a really lovely dad.’ And with that, she cried for a while, unexpectedly, unashamedly.

  ‘Thanks for meeting me,’ Noelle said, overly chirpy, as if she were afraid Jenny would have reverted back to anger.

  ‘Thanks for the invite. I haven’t been out for coffee fo
r what feels like ages.’ Jenny beamed, putting Noelle’s mind at rest.

  Bonnie wandered over with a ‘Hiyaaaaaaa! Girls’ day out, love it. What can I get you?’

  ‘Cappuccino for me, please,’ Jenny requested.

  ‘I’ll have a mocha, and maybe some of that brownie. No, the shortbread. No, the brownie.’

  ‘I’m gonna bring you both.’ Bonnie sat down on the arm of Noelle’s chair. She spoke through the side of her mouth. ‘Did you guys, like, think about the whole article thing at all?’

  ‘I’m sorry, we haven’t spoken about it yet. I’ll talk to my sisters when I get back later.’

  Bonnie nodded. ‘I am low-key so excited that you’re even considering it. Guess who came in yesterday.’

  Their order wasn’t going to be coming any time soon.

  ‘Who?’ Noelle asked.

  ‘Maisie Bradleigh.’

  Noelle looked blank, as did Jenny.

  ‘Like, Tom Bradleigh’s wife. She was in your sister Rae’s year at school.’

  ‘Right…’

  ‘So she was in here talking about Emmy, and that she’s hooked up with PC Jones since she’s been back! Swipe. Right.’

  This girl spoke another language. ‘Maisie was telling you this?’

  ‘Nup, I was eavesdropping while cleaning tables. I am, like, so good at eavesdropping.’

  ‘Well, no, Emmy and Jared – PC Jones – were childhood besties. They’re not hooking up, they’re just hanging out.’

  ‘Gotcha. Sips tea!’ Bonnie mimicked holding a teacup with a pinkie out. ‘I’ll get you those coffees ’n’ stuff.’

  When she’d left, Jenny looked at Noelle and laughed. ‘So that girl knows a lot about your lives.’

  ‘Oh yes, apparently she’s a “big fan” of all things creepy and paranormal. Enter: the Maplewood House in the Woods. And by default: us.’

  ‘You are causing a stir in the town. The amount of people who’ve said to me, “Did you know Noelle and her sisters are back?”’

  Noelle couldn’t understand it. They were the girls people loved to pretend didn’t exist – the stain on the community. If they hid away, as they’d done for the past decade, they were forgotten, like a mark on a sofa cushion that had been turned upside down. But if they showed their faces they got filthy looks, gossipy assumptions, name calling (and not just from the school kids). ‘People love a bad guy to blame things on I guess.’

  ‘You’re hardly the bad guys.’

  ‘We were the misfits whose parents were hippies. Me coming out hardly did me any favours, when the odds were already stacked against us.’ Noelle shrugged, then straightened up and smiled at her first love. ‘As far as I’m concerned, it’s all in the past. The bullies can’t touch me now, I am untouchable. But I don’t want to talk about me and my family – my whole life revolves around me and my family at the moment. I want to talk about you. I’ve missed so much and it’s selfish of me, I know, but there’s a Jenny-shaped knowledge gap I really want to fill.’

  ‘What do you want to know?’ Jenny smiled at Bonnie as she brought over their coffees and Noelle watched her face closely. Being back beside Jenny was unreal. She was a stranger now in so many ways, so Noelle couldn’t claim to still be in love with her. But her hand itched to reach out and wipe the coffee foam from the strand of Jenny’s hair like it was her own, and her natural desire to make contact had to be put in check.

  Noelle swallowed, finding her words. ‘What do you do now?’

  ‘I own a homeware shop here in town. It’s called Sunshine Life. Come on in, if you need anything decorative for the big refurb!’

  ‘You own that place? It’s gorgeous. I saw the things in the window, you know the things… with the dangly things?’ Noelle hadn’t made it inside yet, but she wanted to. There were a few places that had popped up in town that didn’t used to be there. Maybe she should be focusing more on the new, and out with the old. ‘And do you still live out by the river?’

  ‘I live above the shop, actually. Sometimes I feel like I’m spending too much time there because my home is decorated with all the excess stock, so I need to get out whenever I can! Mum and Dad still live out there though. That’s where I saw you in the car.’

  Noelle stirred at her mocha, the chocolate flakes marbling with the dark coffee. ‘And do you live with anyone?’

  ‘No,’ Jenny answered. Noelle looked up to find Jenny looking at her with a pained expression. ‘I don’t want to cross a line here; I’m glad we’re back in touch and I’d actually really like to have you back in my life again in some way. But I need you to know I haven’t been waiting for you, like a spinster Miss Havisham.’

  ‘Oh, I didn’t think —’

  ‘Maybe you didn’t think that at all, but I just wanted us to be on the same page. I have a really good life here. I rebuilt the relationship with my parents, Maplewood has actually become a lot more accepting and is a nice place to live. Mayor Reynold has done a great job on the town, which surprised a lot of people. And I know some of the townsfolk are going through some kind of an odd regression with you three being back, but it’s just the novelty, it’ll die away.’ Jenny paused to study Noelle’s face. ‘My point is that I didn’t decide to stay because I was waiting for you. I’m not not with someone at the moment because I was waiting for you. This is my life.’

  Noelle felt herself well up a little. She remained looking down, blinking often, until the feeling had subsided and she looked up. ‘I’m so happy to hear you say that,’ she answered, and she meant it. ‘All I’ve wanted is for you to be happy, and you are. I would love to get back to being your friend again, but if that ever takes away even a little bit of your happiness, I’ll back right off.’

  Jenny smiled back at her. They were going to be okay. A moment later she said, ‘I see Willow sometimes, you know.’

  ‘You do? No, I didn’t know.’

  ‘I asked her not to tell you, but I always thought she might have anyway. Your mum has always been so kind to me. I hope you don’t mind us staying in touch. I didn’t want you to know because in truth I didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of thinking I was stalking you or something.’

  Noelle laughed, and they ordered a couple more coffees – a good sign that they were okay to settle in for more getting to know each other. ‘That’s fair enough. I’m surprised she hadn’t told me though, she’s not great at keeping secrets.’ As soon as she said it though, Noelle wondered to herself, or is she?

  Over in the Poshville side of town, Rae was wandering about Gabbi’s living room looking at all the paintings. ‘Was it nice to have your niece over to stay?’

  ‘Yeah, it was lovely,’ Gabbi said in a very unconvincing tone.

  Rae raised her eyebrows.

  ‘It was lovely, I like her a lot and she’s a really easy-going kid. But bloody hell it made me feel grown-up.’

  ‘You run a town!’ Rae said.

  ‘Yeah, but this felt worse than that. It was like the old me wanted to leg it from the responsibility.’

  Rae could understand that. She wasn’t ready for kids either, and maybe she would never be. ‘So you were just given all of these?’ She looked back at the paintings.

  ‘Yep, some of them are gross aren’t they? I love the one of the Dartmoor ponies though, that’s cute. Do you want to take any for your house? Just kidding, I probably shouldn’t give them away.’

  ‘Talking about the house, guess what we’re planning for a couple of weeks’ time?’ She sat back down on the uncomfortable sofa and commanded Gabbi’s attention away from her paperwork.

  ‘An unveiling?’

  ‘No, not an unveiling. What, are you going to come and cut the ribbon? A party!’

  ‘Oh! Really? At your house?’

  ‘Yes, a Halloween party.’

  ‘Is this like a small housewarming that happens to fall on Halloween?’

  ‘No, Gab, a proper Halloween party, with decorations and scary pop-up skeletons, and everyone has to dress up.
We’re going to invite the whole town – well, some of the town – because what’s a better cure for hostility than laughter and alcohol?’

  Gabbi was watching her in the amused way she probably watched her niece when she was playing make-believe. ‘What?’ Rae demanded.

  ‘Tell me again why you’re doing this?’

  ‘To make people see that we aren’t who they think we are. Instead, we are awesome.’

  The mayor nodded. ‘Let me ask you this. How is a Halloween party going to prove to everyone you aren’t party animals and you don’t live in a haunted house and you didn’t grow up as witches?’

  Dammit. She had a really very good point. ‘All right, Debbie Downer, no wonder you’re the mayor,’ Rae said, stumped. ‘No, wait, this is still a good idea. We’ll be making light of it all, showing them how silly they’ve been. Perhaps we’ll go a little easier than I was planning on the decorations, let them see that it’s a beautiful house on the inside, not a dingy, grimy ghetto like they’ve built up in their heads. Yes, it shall be a classy Halloween party.’

  ‘That makes a little more sense,’ agreed Gabbi.

  ‘You’re coming, of course.’

  But Gabbi shook her head. ‘I can’t, I think it would look bad if I attended a private event like this.’

  ‘But it’s going to be classy!’

  ‘And as mayor, I can’t tell you how much I enjoy a tasteful event,’ she smiled sweetly before rolling her eyes. ‘I know that makes me sound like a bitch, and thank you so much for the invite, but I just really can’t. Jesus, I tell you, Rae. Sometimes all I want to do is go over to one of the parties the school kids are having and go absolutely wild. I want to drink all their booze, smash up a road sign, dance on a table. I’m bored of canapés and wearing suits to “soirées”. I want to wear a fucking miniskirt. And have my tits out. Not for any boys, for me.’

  Rae sat back, a huge smile on her face. ‘Gabbiiiiii, welcome back!’

  Gabbi composed herself. ‘But that’s not going to happen. Not here in Maplewood anyway, and not if I want my political career to continue. Maybe one day you and I could go out in London, incognito, but for now, I wish you a very pleasant Halloween party; I shall be handing out little bags of sweets to the trick-or-treaters, and anti-littering leaflets to their parents.’