Texas Gift

by RJ Scott

  All apart from the ponies, of course.

  Robbie said every child should have a pony, qualifying it with the extra, every child whose parent worked with horses on a ranch and had the money and access should have a pony. Eli let him have that one thing.

  Riley visited briefly, with Connor and Lexie, but Louise held back a little even when Jeremy joined in the impromptu game of tag in the yard. She was watchful and careful and Riley’s heart broke for her.

  The ponies were what broke the impasse. As horses do, they were unashamedly demanding of treats and nuzzles and as Connor and Lexie showed the two newcomers how to do this or that, or what to touch, and what to say, Louise began to relax.

  By the time Riley left, with a grateful glance from Eli, Louise was reading to Jeremy on the sofa, and leaning against Robbie.

  This little family would be great, would be the best for each other, and Riley hugged Eli on the way out. He couldn’t have wished for a better ending for his friend.

  And carefully, and slowly, the families who called the D their home grew by another two.

  Chapter 12

  “Colorado isn’t that far,” Jack said for the fifth time that week as the days counted down to Hayley leaving. Riley didn’t know who was Jack trying to convince; Riley or himself. “Not much more than an hour by plane,” he added.

  “Uh huh,” Riley said, because he’d lost the ability to talk about Hayley and college at the very moment she’d made her final decision on what college she would be attending. Once he’d gotten over the pride that she wanted to learn what he loved, that geology was her choice, it then fell on him just how much her leaving meant to him.

  During the rehabilitation on his neck, and when Jack was home from Houston and the floods, there were moments he could forget she was leaving. Times when all six of them sat at the table, or under the table, where Max was concerned, and everything was just peaceful and right.

  He and Jack couldn’t have been prouder of their daughter, but it didn’t stop either of them fretting and worrying.

  “I know, but it’s not UT, it’s not somewhere she can come home anytime she wants to.” Riley had become fixated on the idea that there were colleges a lot closer than Denver, even though he knew Denver was the best place for everything Hayley wanted.

  Jack sighed. “Seriously? Do we really want her to compromise and not go to the college she wanted?”

  “Of course not,” Riley said. Jack was making sense, as usual. An uncharitable thought crossed Riley’s mind that maybe when the twins were ready for college then Jack wouldn’t be so calm, and as soon as the idea arrived fully formed into his thoughts, the air left his lungs and he sat down.

  Hayley was their daughter, the twins were theirs. Whatever biology was involved in creating them. Abruptly he wanted to apologize to Jack, to Hayley, hell, to the twins, but Jack crouched between his legs, his hands on Riley’s knees.

  “I’m going to miss her so much,” Jack said, his voice gruff with emotion. “You know that, right?”

  Riley nodded, placed his hands on Jack’s and they laced fingers. Now it was Riley’s turn to reassure Jack.

  “It will be okay.”

  Jack smiled at him. “You could always buy her a jet.”

  Riley considered the thought for a moment, he had the money, and they could… It hit him that Jack was only teasing and that Riley was an idiot. Hayley might possibly need a car, but not something new, or so they’d been told quite categorically. She didn’t want to stand out, and Riley could understand that now.

  Way back, before Jack, he’d happily flash his cash, be the big man, drink a thousand-dollar bottle of champagne and spill it everywhere. Now, value was something he put in family and love, not in money. Jack must have seen each individual emotion pass over his face and he waited for Riley to talk.

  “Well, shit,” Riley finally said.

  Jack nodded. “Yeah, that.”

  They continued putting away clothes and tidying up the desk area; their chore this morning. Jack had left books on the side of the desk, Riley never really did pick up clothes properly, and when Riley had tripped over his own discarded pants last night they were determined to make their room less dorm room and more of a space belonging to responsible adults.

  “Dad? Pappa? May I ask something?” Hayley said from behind them.

  They turned and she was in the doorway to their bedroom. She was dressed in jeans and a plain T-shirt, with her long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. Riley could easily see the little girl who had landed on their doorsteps all those years ago. She didn’t seem upset, as if she’d overheard their parental breakdowns over her leaving, so that was one thing.

  “What’s up?” Jack asked as he stood from piling books in what he deemed a useful and appropriate corner to pile books, and brushed at his jeans.

  “Will you make sure that Max is there when I FaceTime from college?”

  Riley nodded, although getting Max to interact with some nebulous talking picture of his big sister was always going to be hard. Last time they’d tried it, Max had run screaming from the room, flailing past Connor who ended up on his butt on the floor. “We can try,” he said.

  Hayley appeared thoughtful. “I think if we do it every time then he’d get used to it.”

  “We promise to try,” Jack interjected.

  “And Connor, if he forgives me?”

  “And Connor,” Riley said, “and he’ll be fine as soon as a couple of days have passed.”

  Although Riley wasn’t sure that it would be quite that quick. Connor was all over the place at the moment. It seemed like his seven-year-old brain was firmly fixed on the concept of Hayley leaving and never coming back. Lexie was much more pragmatic, explaining with all her vast superiority that Connor was stupid. That was an interesting fight that Riley had happened upon; ending up with both twins crying in his arms and him trying not to lose it himself.

  “Keep telling them I’ll be back for Christmas,” Hayley said, the almost permanent worry on her face making Riley’s heart hurt. She should be going to college thinking her parents had everything in order and that her siblings understood what was happening.

  “We’re failing as parents,” Riley half-whispered after Hayley had gone.

  Jack finished buttoning his shirt and frowned at Riley. “How so?”

  “I remember when I went to college I didn’t have anything to worry about except maybe leaving Eden, but even then she was balls to the wall and didn’t take crap from the family.”

  Jack cradled Riley’s face, and for the longest time, Riley stared into his husband’s blue eyes. He could get lost in those eyes, lose himself forever in the promises they held.

  “Riley, you weren’t leaving a loving home, you were leaving hate and violence and age-old family secrets that made the environment toxic. Of course you didn’t care about leaving because you were running away.” He pressed a kiss to Riley’s lips, and Riley gripped Jack’s dark shirt. “On the other hand, Hayley is leaving a family that loves her, that lives together with laughter and all the sweet stuff in life. She’ll be sad to leave because between all of us we’ve made a life here that is kinda impossible to leave even for a day.”

  “We haven’t failed then,” Riley murmured. The explanation made sense, but he was still worried. “We want her to be strong and confident, don’t we?”

  Jack chuckled, and this time the kiss was deeper and way more thorough. Enough so Riley was hard in an instant and contemplating exactly how to get Jack horizontal. Or vertical. Or whatever. Only they couldn’t.

  “She is strong.” Jack eased away. “She’s half of you and all of her own woman.”

  One more kiss and Jack left the room, and Riley stood still where he was, staring right at the wall of photos that charted the years he and Jack had been together. He felt a tug on his pants and looked down into Max’s earnest gaze.

  “Hey, Max,” he said, and sat next to him when Max scrambled onto his bed. They were closer to each
other, Max rambling about something to do with the color red and inspiration hit Riley. Without spooking his son, he reached over to his iPad and laid it on his lap.

  “There’s red in here,” he said.

  Max tilted his head and stopped talking, peering curiously at Riley.

  Slowly Riley opened the iPad and searched for strawberries.

  “Look,” he said. “Red strawberries.”

  Max traced the image with his fingers, not quite touching the screen, hovering above. “Red,” he said. His language skills were improving, and he saw a language therapist twice a week at the school he attended, but he still answered with single words, or sometimes by repeating a whole scene from the script of his current favorite—the Toy Story films. He stimmed with his hands, flapping them a little and staring at the screen. “Another stunt like that, cowboy, you going to get us killed,” he said, still flapping, “Don’t tell me what to do!” he added. Of course Riley had no idea of the relevance of that particular line from the films, or the fact that Max repeated it all twice, but he did what he thought was best.

  “I know.” He nodded, and soothed his son with soft strokes of his hand, until the flapping stopped, and the repeated lines became a wrinkle of his nose and a soft huff.

  “Hayley will talk to you in there,” he added, but that wasn’t a sentence that Max was listening to at all.

  “Hey little man,” Hayley said from the door, “I was looking for you. Want to go see the horses?”

  Max scrambled down; Hayley and Max were so close; he wouldn’t understand where she’d gone when she wasn’t there at night for him. He already freaked when she couldn’t read him a bedtime story. Maybe they should never have got into that routine in the first place. Then, maybe, he would understand, and he might even be able to understand that Hayley was talking to him on the iPad. Riley never knew what he was thinking. No one did, not really.

  “Are you coming out with us?” Hayley asked Riley.

  “I’ll be with you in five,” he replied, watching her walk away, Max’s hand in hers.

  How was he going to do this? How was he going to handle their beautiful, confident, brilliant daughter, leaving for college?

  When he walked out into the kitchen he could see Hayley and Max at the fence looking at the horses, Lexie swinging on a gate, and focused, studious Connor reading a book at the table.

  Riley had to be the strong one here.

  Tomorrow was a big day for Hayley and he could do this.

  Right?

  Jack was driving, which gave Riley way too much thinking time, but as Jack knew how he would be, he cranked up some music and the three of them sang along. Hayley was excited, and nervous, and then excited again. She’d cried when they parted, but within half an hour she’d channeled Jack and was showing a brave face to her parents. She couldn’t do anything about Connor not wanting to let go of her hand, or Lexie pouting at her brother, or Max stimming, neither could Riley and Jack.

  “Being old enough to go to college sucks,” she said, and then didn’t say anything else. In fact by the time they stopped overnight in Amarillo all three were quiet. Riley had booked a suite at a hotel, and they played cards, watched TV, and had an early night.

  The rest of the journey was filled with music and stories, and Hayley’s hopes for the future. She wanted an office next to Riley’s, she wanted plenty of floor space to spread maps out. She wanted to live at home and maybe they could build a place on the D for her… On and on it went, including a ten-minute discussion on how Logan was so cool, and she couldn’t wait to meet up with him.

  The talking stopped when the GPS showed they would reach their destination in only twenty minutes.

  The rest passed in a complete blur.

  They found her dorm room, helped her unpack, and Riley fretted she had to share with someone they didn’t know. When they met Skye though, a redhead with a wide grin, she instantly won a place in Riley’s heart. She hugged Hayley and introduced them all to her parents who shook Riley’s and Jack’s hands and made no comments about the fact Hayley had two dads. Maybe it wasn’t something Riley needed to worry about, but sue him, he’d worried she’d be bullied or something for the fact that Riley and Jack were her parents.

  They’d already visited for orientation in the Summer, but they’d flown up, and it hadn't seemed real. This here, helping her hang up clothes and make her bed? That was real.

  They explored the campus and located the halls, rooms and labs, for her classes, found out where she’d eat and Riley had a debate with Jack over how much did a person need per day to cover food. His concept of just giving her a platinum card made Jack laugh and Hayley frown.

  The damned girl was determined to get a job and be independent.

  I should be proud. Right?

  The building that blew Riley away was the library; yes they had seen it on the tour in the summer, but now, they had the chance to explore and the geological sciences section was huge.

  And then, before Riley knew it, with a final hug and kiss they were leaving Denver and heading south.

  Home.

  Chapter 13

  Jack managed to handle the whole day without losing his cool.

  They stopped back at the same hotel in Amarillo, only this time there was no need for a suite. Hayley had already texted them over twenty times, with cryptic messages about her new best friend Skye, and the cute boys on her floor, and how none of them measured up to Logan, and how, to her horror, some of her floor mates had never ridden a horse. The rancher in Jack wanted to bring them all down to the D just so they could all get to ride a horse, and he could imagine Riley chartering a plane.

  Yeah, that wasn’t happening. Leaving Hayley had been hard, but she was already talking up a storm with Skye, and seemed okay. When they’d said goodbye she had cried, but there had been nothing in the way she’d hugged them that made Jack think that picking her up and putting her back in the truck was a good idea.

  They ate in the restaurant, both subdued, but at least they’d talked, and it was probably exactly what Riley needed, because he’d been so quiet in the car.

  “I think she’ll love college,” Jack said, because saying it out loud meant it was true.

  “I enjoyed it,” Riley admitted.

  “I never even wanted to go to college,” Jack said, “always wanted my horses, and the ranch.”

  “I just wanted to drink, and fuck around. Anything to feel good. As you said, college was an escape for me.”

  Jack had never really pushed Riley about what had things been like back then. Particularly as he’d been right there at Riley’s side during the death throes of the Hayes family as it had stood. It occurred to him that he’d never asked about the times when Riley did go home.

  “What about the holidays? Was it that bad that you didn’t want to go home?”

  “I always wanted to come back at Christmas, or summer, and expected things to have changed somehow. Not Eden, she never changed, always smiling, except when Jeff was around. I liked being back, because Jeff never intimidated me and I would get in between him and her, but coming back to Eden who was so lost even though she tried hard to pretend she wasn’t? Yeah that was hard sometimes.”

  He didn’t know how they’d got onto the subject of Riley’s childhood, but Riley was happy to talk and that didn’t always happen where the Hayes family history was concerned.

  Then Riley said something that didn’t make sense at first, particularly as he was determinedly staring down at his plate as he talked.

  “Sometimes when we stand at the fence in the morning, with coffee, or when you’re kissing me, or the kids make me laugh, I feel as if I am on the outside looking in.”

  Pain collected inside Jack from all the dark places he hid it. Did Riley really feel disassociated from their family?

  “Riley?”

  “I don’t mean that I don’t think it’s happening to me.” Riley began, then sighed, laid down his cutlery and scrubbed at his eyes. “I’m not ma
king any fucking sense.”

  “Start from the beginning.” That was what his mom always said when his thoughts were all tangled, Donna Campbell was a wise woman.

  “I deserve good things, and I know that being with you… I couldn’t imagine a life without you… but sometimes I’m this twenty-year-old, with hate and fire in his belly and I’m watching this older man with you and I’m surprised at the man I’ve become.”

  The pain melted away and instead Jack realized exactly what Riley was saying.

  “Eleven years.” He reached over and gripped his hand. “We’ve been together eleven years, we’ve both changed, and it’s all good changes.”

  “I love you,” Riley murmured.

  Back inside their room, Jack pulled him into a hug. “I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you,” he said. He spoke with completely honesty.

  Riley gripped Jack’s arms, kissed him hard and deep, and proceeded to show Jack exactly how much he loved him back.

  They were woken up by a text from Hayley, and Jack scrambled for the phone at the same time as Riley.

  “Is she okay?” Jack asked, urgently.

  Riley turned the phone around. “The bacon isn’t crispy enough in the canteen,” he announced.

  Packing and leaving the hotel was difficult when neither of them could stop laughing.

  They made it home before dark, and Jack felt immediately at peace as soon as they turned onto the long road that led to the D ranch house. The minute they parked Connor and Lexie were at the car, Max sitting on the doorstep. Behind him Carol looked serious, and shook her head a little to warn Riley and Jack.

  Then Connor burst out crying, Lexie joined in, and Max slipped back into the house as fast as he could.