Hopelessly Devoted to Holden Finn
Page 7
Linda appeared at the kitchen doorway wiping her hands on a teacloth. ‘Max, if that’s your animal magnetism and easy going charm you’re displaying there, it’s a wonder Sarah didn’t drop her knickers the minute she clapped eyes on you.’ Max seemed to come back to himself and grinned widely. ‘How’s it going with Sarah, by the way?’ she added as Bonnie sloped off to open the fridges.
‘Good, thanks. I think we’re coming up to our three-week anniversary.’
‘Oooh, get you. Next we’ll be talking weddings.’
Bonnie listened to the exchange as she stepped into the first walk-in fridge, her good humour dissipating. The cold never failed to surprise her no matter how many years it had been and, immediately, her skin prickled all over, her breath rising in a white plume. She dragged out a tray of Spanish plums and hauled them into the stockroom, glad to be back in the warm.
‘When you’ve finished organising Max’s love life, a little help here, Lind?’ Bonnie snapped as she emerged from the fridge.
Linda shot a confused look at Max, who shrugged silently as Bonnie took the fruit out to the shop.
***
Try as she might, Bonnie hadn’t quite managed to shake the dour mood that had settled over her that day at work, despite all the compliments and admiring looks from regular customers. By lunchtime, Linda had complained about her being less fun than a mass funeral, and stalked off to the Bounty to get lunch alone while Bonnie had sat in the kitchen of the shop nursing a cup-a-soup and a foul temper.
Linda’s irritation only ever flared momentarily, so after her usual ten minutes of idle banter with Stavros, she was back to her old self. Busy all afternoon with customers, she hardly paid any more attention to Bonnie’s dark mood and bid her a cheery farewell at home time.
As Bonnie had promised her mum she would call after work, she thought she’d better honour that promise. Jeanie had been less than enthusiastic about seeing her recently and Bonnie figured she’d somehow managed to upset her too.
***
Bonnie let herself in at Jeanie’s house and shouted down the hallway. ‘Hey, Mum, it’s just me.’
Jeanie’s head popped out from the kitchen doorway. ‘On your own tonight?’
‘Paige is at Annabel’s for tea. They’re planning world domination, starting with the radio station next week. I’ve got to pick her up on the way home when she’s created her masterplan.’
‘Right.’
Jeanie’s head disappeared again and Bonnie frowned. That wasn’t the reaction to her joke she had been expecting. She entered the kitchen to find her mum sitting at the table with a magazine open and a cup of tea half drunk.
‘What’s that mag?’ Bonnie asked.
Jeanie flicked the magazine shut and pushed it across the table to where Bonnie was sitting herself down. ‘I’ve finished with it if you want to take it home with you.’
‘Oooh, ta, Mum.’ Bonnie pulled it over to look at the cover.
‘Cup of tea?’ Jeanie asked, pushing herself up from her seat. Bonnie watched her carefully as she went over to the kettle without waiting for Bonnie’s reply.
‘Are you feeling ok, Mum?’
‘Hmmm?’
‘You seem a bit… distracted.’
‘No, no, I’m fine.’ Jeanie flicked the switch to the kettle and reached for a mug from the cupboard.
‘Mum, sit down.’
‘I’ll make your drink first…’
‘Mum, the drink can wait. Just sit down and tell me what’s wrong.’
‘There’s nothing wrong.’
‘Something is bothering you.’
Jeanie paused, before exhaling loudly and then sitting down next to Bonnie at the table.
‘I’ve been trying to tell you for ages…’
‘Tell me what?’
‘I’ve met someone.’
‘What do you mean?’ Bonnie knew perfectly well what her mother meant; but her brain couldn’t compute the information for some reason.
‘I’ve met a man…’
Bonnie stared at her mother.
‘It’s not that abnormal.’
‘I know, but it’s just so sudden.’
‘Sudden? You’re the one who’s been telling me for the last five years I should find another fella.’
‘It’s just that…’
‘It’s just that you didn’t really mean it even though you thought you did and now that there’s someone on the scene it feels like a replacement for your dad, even though you know that nobody will ever replace your dad.’ Jeanie smiled and pulled Bonnie into a hug. ‘I knew how you’d feel about it, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you.’
‘Ok,’ Bonnie said quietly as she pulled away. ‘You’re right, just like you always are. How long has this been going on?’
‘A couple of months.’
‘A couple of months?’ Bonnie thought back to the times that she could remember her mum being out over the past few weeks. ‘But when? You’re nearly always here.’
‘He’s been kind of hard to get hold of,’ Jeanie replied awkwardly. ‘There hasn’t been much opportunity for us to see each other.’
Bonnie looked at her mum thoughtfully. ‘So who is he?’ she asked, rallying herself to cheeriness.
‘He’s named Juan.’
‘Unusual name. Where’s he live?’
‘Costa del Sol.’
‘What!’
‘Spain.’ Jeanie got up to fetch the biscuit tin from the cupboard.
‘I know where it is,’ Bonnie said. ‘But how the hell are you going to sustain a relationship with a man in Spain?’
Jeanie shrugged as she popped the lid off the tin and nosed inside.
Bonnie sat at the table with a dazed expression. ‘No wonder you’ve been on so many fag runs...’
Jeanie laughed. ‘Sorry, love. I just didn’t know how to tell you about him. But then after all that messing around and wondering how to put it, I realised that the best way was just to come out with it. After all, you’re a big girl now.’
Bonnie paused. ‘Spanish, eh?’
Jeanie nodded.
‘We don’t half have a thing for foreigners in our family.’ Bonnie gave a faint smile.
‘Let’s hope we don’t have a thing for deserters,’ Jeanie replied darkly.
‘It’s pretty hard to desert someone when they live in another country already.’
Jeanie hesitated for a moment, holding her daughter in a carefully measured gaze and Bonnie felt her blood run cold. She’d seen that look a million times before and she knew she wasn’t going to like what it meant.
‘That’s the thing,’ Jeanie began slowly, ‘I’m not sure we’re going to be in separate countries for much longer.’
‘Please tell me Juan is moving to England…’
Jeanie shook her head.
‘Oh, God, Mum…’
‘He’s asked me to move to Spain, and I’ve said yes.’
‘You hardly know the man!’
‘That didn’t stop you running off with Henri when you were eighteen,’ Jeanie snapped.
‘That was a three-month fling and then we moved back to England together, it was different, it was never meant to be permanent.’
‘You didn’t know that at the time.’
Bonnie sighed, fighting the tears that she knew were selfish. ‘What will I do without you, Mum?’
Jeanie put down the tin and went back to the table. She took Bonnie’s hand. ‘It took me a long time to get over your dad, but lately I’ve come to realise something very important. I’m not getting any younger, despite the leather trousers that I know you think are unsuitable,’ Jeanie laughed and Bonnie forced a smile, ‘and life is too short to be so afraid that you let everything pass you by.’
‘That means that you have to leap into risky moves across Europe with a man you hardly know?’
‘Sometimes, yes, it does. Sometimes, you just have to take a chance. When you meet Juan I know you’ll like him. He makes me feel more alive than I
have done in years. He makes me complete, the way your dad used to. Can you be happy for me?’
‘I’ll worry to death about you,’ Bonnie sniffed.
‘You needn’t. You have things more pressing than a silly old rocker to worry about.’
‘I don’t.’
‘You have Paige, who is turning into a beautiful young woman before your eyes, who is smart and switched on in a way I’ve never seen in another girl of her age before. But she’s also hurt and vulnerable. She needs you much more than I do.’
‘We both need you,’ Bonnie said.
Jeanie squeezed Bonnie’s hand. ‘You could always come.’
‘With you? What would Juan say? That’s gives a whole new slant on baggage.’
Jeanie laughed. ‘It was just a thought. You’ll be fine, and with budget airlines the journey out to me is quicker and cheaper than a train to London. You can come and visit as often as you like.’
‘It’ll be a bit of a bugger when Paige needs looking after during school holidays.’
‘Paige won’t want to come to me soon, and she’s old enough to fend for herself while you’re at work.’
‘I suppose it will be quite nice having somewhere to take holidays,’ Bonnie said. She tried to sound brave for her mum, but inside, she was cracking. Jeanie had been more than just her mum, she had been her rock, her best friend, someone who knew her better than anyone and kept her steady through life’s storms. How could she even contemplate a life without her living just around the corner?
‘Of course, and you’ll be welcome any time,’ Jeanie said, letting go of Bonnie’s hand.
Bonnie’s gaze dropped to the table and they fell silent for a moment, the sound of the kettle hissing as it boiled the only sound in the room. Then she swallowed and looked up.
‘So this Juan… he has a nice house?’
‘Gorgeous, a villa up in the mountains,’ Jeanie said warmly.
‘And he’s a good man?’
‘He’s fantastic.’
‘How did you meet him?’
‘I decided to catch a bus from the coast to this little village in the mountains to have a look around. I missed the last bus back to the hotel as I couldn’t work out where I went from and Juan found me sitting on a wall looking lost. At first I was just glad to come across someone who spoke good English, but he was so lovely and kind. He took me to a bar and sat me down while he checked on bus times, and when he realised that there wouldn’t be one until the next day, he offered to drive me back.’
‘And you went with him? He could have been a murderer or a rapist!’
‘He could have been,’ Jeanie conceded. ‘But there was something about him, like goodness shining from inside him. I knew I’d be safe, and he was a perfect gentleman.’ Jeanie’s gaze was faraway for a moment, as if she was looking into the past. ‘I sort of got the same feeling about him that I had with your dad when we first met. I haven’t felt that since he passed on. It just so happens that I found it in Spain.’
It was Bonnie’s turn to reach for her mum’s hand across the table. ‘Mum,’ she said softly, ‘if he makes you feel like that, then I can’t be anything but happy for you... even though,’ she added, ‘I will still worry about you.’
‘I’ll worry about you and Paige too,’ Jeanie replied. ‘But you’ll be fine and so will I.’
‘I suppose we will. But I feel all at sea whenever you’re not around.’
‘You have Linda… and perhaps if you found yourself a nice man…’
‘Don’t start that, Mum,’ Bonnie said wearily.
‘I’m just saying. It would be good for you to have someone properly around to rely on, not just me. I’m not getting any younger and I won’t always be here.’
‘You certainly won’t now,’ Bonnie replied, the merest hint of bitterness creeping into her tone. ‘Besides, I don’t get the chance to meet men.’
‘You don’t even try.’
‘If it means having to put myself on display in a nightclub like some going out-of-date meat then no thank you, I’d rather be single.’
‘Nobody is saying that. But when a man is interested in you, you push them away.’
‘I don’t.’
‘I’ve seen you do it, Bonnie. And I know why you do it, but you can’t let what Henri did to you ruin the rest of your life.’
‘It has nothing to do with Henri. We were never married, he has no claim over me and he can bugger off back to France whenever he wants. The reason I don’t have a man is because there is no Mr Right for me. That soul mate that people talk of, the one, it’s all a load of crap. Me and Paige get along just fine by ourselves. Besides, Paige might have something to say about someone coming home with me and she’d have a right to.’
‘Paige wouldn’t want to see you lonely. She might have reservations at first, but she’d come round.’
‘Well, there’s no need to worry about it either way, because as far as I can see, there’s no Juan waiting to sweep me off my feet any time soon.’
Jeanie looked at her daughter sadly as she gulped down the last of her drink.
Five
At lunch Bonnie decided to forgo the usual trip to the Bounty and grab the opportunity for a quick look at the Debenham’s sale. The radio station visit was less than a week away, and if there was the slightest chance of her actually meeting Holden Finn, then she wanted to look her best. Despite the previous Christmas now being almost ten months ago, she still had the vouchers that Jeanie had given her and now seemed as good a time as any to spend them.
‘If you don’t mind, I’ll give it a miss,’ Linda said darkly.
Bonnie laughed and rushed out into the drizzle to see if she could get anything in her meagre half an hour lunch break. If she got back late, well… she would just have to try and make it up to Fred somehow.
***
Once in the store, Bonnie marched towards the escalators. She had no idea what she was looking for and was fairly certain that half an hour was never going to be enough time to find it, try it on and pay for it. And if by some miracle she did, what was the betting that once she got home, she’d try it on again and either decide that it wasn’t right after all, or Paige would make some sly comment that would put her off it for good?
Flicking through the clothing on the rails Bonnie frowned and muttered to herself.
Wrong colour… eeuuww colour… sequins ahoy!... too young… too tarty… too frumpy… too…. what the hell is that supposed to be?
She looked up in despair and caught sight of a familiar shaggy blond head on the escalators. Not only that, but Max had Sarah on his arm. Bonnie let out an involuntary groan. Casting around, she could see that there was no way to make an escape. The only thing was to stay put and try to look as inconspicuous as possible.
Just as she thought she might have got away with it, Bonnie heard her name being called. Max came over, scarf draped casually around his neck and his hair wind-tousled so that it dropped cheekily over one eye. He pushed it back from his face and gave Bonnie a huge smile. Sarah huddled into him, her arm linked with his, and looking for all the world like she’d fall over if she wasn’t leaning on him.
‘I just said to Max,’ Sarah squeaked excitedly, ‘we seem to be seeing you everywhere at the moment.’
‘Yes, you do, don’t you,’ Bonnie returned with as much enthusiasm as she could feign.
‘And your hair looks amazing, did you colour it?’ Sarah continued, almost without pausing for breath.
‘Yeah. Thanks,’ Bonnie replied.
‘What are you up to?’ Max asked with a good-natured smile. ‘Treating yourself to something nice?’
‘Hardly,’ Bonnie said. ‘You know Fred; he pays us in potatoes and time off for good behaviour.’
Sarah laughed. ‘Max is always telling me how funny you and Linda are,’ she said. ‘He tells me it’s his favourite stop in the morning.’
‘Yes, you mentioned that at least four times at Blossom Palace,’ Bonnie said tartly.
‘Oooh, this one would suit you,’ she said, pulling out a forest-green dress with bell sleeves.
Bonnie smiled and fought the irrational urge to shove Sarah head-first into the dress rack. ‘Maybe I’ll go and try it on then,’ she said politely instead.
‘You totally should, that colour would be fabulous with your hair now.’ She stepped back for a moment and eyed Bonnie up. ‘You know,’ she said thoughtfully, ‘we’re about the same size. I have loads of dresses you could borrow if it’s just for a one-off event. You don’t want to pay the prices they charge in here.’
Bonnie smiled stiffly. ‘That’s very kind of you, but I couldn’t possibly.’ She decided there and then that she would rather go to the radio station wearing a bin bag (used and complete with bin juice) than wear anything of Sarah’s. ‘What are you two up to?’ she asked, steering the conversation away from a subject that might just see her insult Sarah in a way she wouldn’t be able to take back.
‘We’re window shopping for an hour,’ Max said. ‘We were going to the pictures but the film we wanted to see was sold out and we have to wait for the next showing.’
‘Oh, what were you going to see?’
‘The Tempest,’ Sarah said, ‘it’s that new version with the guy who plays the vampire on that thing on telly.’
‘Oh? I didn’t have you down as the Shakespeare type,’ Bonnie said to Max, barely keeping the conspiratorial smile from her face.
Max shrugged. ‘I don’t mind really. If I don’t like it I can always have a quick nap.’
Sarah nudged him in the ribs. ‘Don’t you dare,’ she laughed.
‘I get up early, don’t I?’ he pleaded jokingly, looking to Bonnie for support.