Crave

by Serena Simpson

  “Thanks,” I said to her.

  “They have a salad bar here, but I don’t think you’re a salad kind of guy.”

  I wasn’t. When I ate, I went for calories. Even if I ate every day, I would go for calories, but then I might be able to add a little muscle to my too slender frame.

  “Noah, you shouldn’t do this.” The look he gave me said he knew way more than he was admitting to, but that was impossible.

  “I shouldn’t make sure my partner eats, or I shouldn’t eat him up with my eyes?”

  “That, both of those. You don’t want this Noah. It wouldn’t do anything but hurt you. I can’t give you anything beyond a night.” That was more warning than I ever gave anyone in the past. I don’t know why I felt compelled to save him the heartbreak. He should be like all the others, not worth my time.

  “Maybe I deserve it, Cole. I’m beginning to think I’ve been a prick when it comes to the opposite sex.”

  The waitress chose that moment to come to our table. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  She was cute or what humans called cute. Long brown hair, pretty eyes, curvy body. I gave her one look and then dismissed her, not rudely, she left me cold.

  “I’ll take a tea.”

  Noah ordered a soft drink. Our waitress left the table to give us time to look at our menus.

  “Order Cole or I’ll order for you.”

  I looked down at the menu refusing to think that Noah was giving me orders. They weren’t the kind of orders that made me need to reassert my dominance. They were the kind that made me feel cared for. That’s what bothered me. Reasserting my dominance being in control came naturally. This, whatever this was between us had me floundering.

  When the waitress came back, I waited until Noah ordered before I ordered my own meal.

  “I’d like your largest steak.”

  “That would be a porterhouse or a T-Bone.”

  I found myself looking at Noah. I wasn’t sure of the difference. His voice was so low I wasn’t sure the waitress heard him when he said I prefer the porterhouse.

  “I’ll take the porterhouse with a baked potato and a side order of corn.”

  “You should try the lobster it’s delicious,” Noah said.

  “Sounds good. You can add that to my order also.” The waitress nodded and took off.

  I wanted to look anywhere except at Noah. I got caught up in his eyes, anyway. They were warm. He had that look that said he was so proud of me for agreeing to eat. My hand rubbed the ache in my chest, I couldn’t help it. That’s when I felt something inside of me that didn’t belong there. My eyes grew wide as I stared at him. This was impossible. It couldn’t happen. I wanted to call Jace to have him or someone else give me a physical, but I controlled myself.

  “Cole are you all right?”

  “Yeah, guess I’m hungrier than I thought.”

  “Will you tell me something about yourself?”

  “I’m a lot older than I look.” I shot a smile at him. It was the truth. I didn’t understand how humans didn’t live to see a hundred years. I read their ancient text. I couldn’t stop myself. I thought I would find the same rules in it that were in mine. I found some rules, but they confused me instead of enlightening me. I also found out that humans used to be long-lived. Something happened to change this. Again, I was confused. The good thing I took with me was that humans could live longer if it were granted to them. I wouldn’t be bestowing long life on anyone, but it relieved me to know I could.

  “How much older?”

  “I’m about five hundred earth years.”

  “That’s older. How much longer will you live?”

  “Barring sudden death, dismemberment, etc… Several thousand more earth years.”

  “Long after I’m gone.”

  That ache I couldn’t deny was back. My phone rang. I sighed in relief.

  “Cole.”

  “Aran.” I laughed, he was still as arrogant as ever. “Ryan would like to talk to you.”

  “Ryan, how are you?”

  “I’m good.” His voice was hesitant.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I was wondering if you forgot about me?”

  Because a day could feel like a year to a kid. Especially one that has been abused.

  “I haven’t forgotten. I’m working that case I told you about.”

  “Going after the bad man?”

  “That’s the one. It’s going to take several weeks to catch him. When I do, and he’s no longer a threat, I’ll come get you. I promised, and I keep my promises.”

  “They feed me here, and I have my own room with a bed in it. I don’t think storm likes it though. There are no mice or rats for her to kill. Mr. Nicolas that’s Mr. Aran’s brother gave me an examination. He said I have to eat high-calorie food and take vitamins. He gave me a shot of something. He said I was sick, but I would be okay.”

  I closed my eyes and leaned back against the booth. I owed them. I never thought of asking Nicolas to look him over.

  “Nicolas is one of the best doctors on the planet.”

  He laughed something else I wasn’t prepared for.

  “Mr. Damon said that Mr. Nicolas was only the second-best cause he’s the best.”

  “It’s hard to have two bests, but in this case, they share the award.”

  “I’ll tell them you said that. I have to go. Cole?”

  “I’m listening.”

  “Please be careful.”

  “I promise.”

  “That kid will own your heart if he doesn’t already,” Aran said as he took the phone.

  “I just want to get him to eighteen then he’ll be legal and on his own.” I could hear the lie in my voice.

  “Right. Take care, Cole. I’d hate to tell him you’re not coming back.”

  I hung up and looked at Noah. I went from nothing to care about to two males in my life. Fate was a capricious bitch, and she was laughing at me.

  “Ryan?”

  “He’s the teen victim of the last target I took out. He was living on the street. I can’t send him back to the system.”

  He gave me a sharp nod of his head like he understood. I found myself releasing my breath.

  The waitress came back giving me a reprieve. She placed our plates on the table. Noah also ordered a steak. We waited until she was gone before he started to eat. He picked up his soda and took a drink. I looked at him and frowned.

  “What?”

  “I know humans like that, but there is nothing of nutritional value in it.” He looked at it and put it down.

  “Guess you’ll have to share your tea. You don’t have any weird alien diseases, do you?”

  “No. Jace makes sure anyone who works for him has a clean bill of health.”

  “Glad it goes both ways. He did the same with me.” He winked at me before drinking my tea.

  I got the waitress attention and ordered us two more.

  “I think this taste so good because it’s yours.”

  I knew better but that spark I felt when he touched me was back, and this time it wasn’t going away.

  “Eat,” I told him.

  Noah did most of the talking. He told me about his life when his dad was still alive. It was filled with fun. His dad was always a hero in his eyes. His mom was dependent on him now. That’s one of the reasons this job was so important to him. Then there was the fact that Jace paid well.

  Then he told me about the beach.

  “Have you ever seen it?”

  “Never.”

  “There are miles and miles of water flowing towards you. If you’re lucky enough to stand on a private or semi-private beach. There are times when it’s just you, the sand, and the water. I could sit there forever and just watch the tide come in. One day when everything is settled, I’m going to buy a beach house.”

  “Where do you want to live until you buy your beach house?”

  “Sometimes I think I want a swanky condo, but then I realize it would
n’t offer me what I’m really looking for. I want a nice house with a lot of land, a pool, and a hot tub. Also, a small place where my mom could garden all in a community where I wouldn’t have to be concerned about her. Sounds like I’m more into Narnia than When Harry met Sally.”

  He must have seen the confusion in my eyes.

  “They’re movies that at times I think my life should emulate.”

  I knew what movies were not that I took the time to watch them.

  “One day you will have to share these movies with me.”

  “I will. Let’s add Avatar to the list because I have to know what you think of blue aliens.”

  I knew a few I could introduce him to. I decided to keep that to myself. We ate the rest of the meal in silence. The lobster was good. It reminded me of a dish on my planet that only the wealthiest ate.

  I would catch Noah staring at me. I knew he wanted answers I wasn’t sure I could give them to him. Even if I could, I wouldn’t do it here.

  “How was your meal?” The waitress was smiling brightly at me.

  “We enjoyed it thank you.”

  “Would you like dessert?”

  “No thank you,” Noah told her. “Can we get the check?”

  “I’ll be right back.”

  She walked away, and I tried to remember the last time I ate this much for a meal. I was grateful he didn’t try to get me to eat dessert. Although I like some sweet things, I usually passed. It was calorie driven, but they were empty. Since I only allowed myself to eat sporadically, calories from sweets didn’t work in my life.

  I glanced at the waitress’s name tag as she brought the bill.

  “Thank you, Christine.” I went to pick up the bill, but Noah placed his hand over mine.

  “I’m paying.” I was watching Christine’s face. It went from open and friendly to disgusted. I tried to pull my hand away from Noah’s. I didn’t care what she thought of me, but he had to live in this town. He held me a minute longer before he pulled out his wallet. He gave it to her, and she walked off.

  “You shouldn’t have done that. I may be a prick, but I have never not acknowledged who I was with. Tonight, I’m with you.” Noah told me.

  “Thank you, Christine,” Noah said when she brought our receipt back. He pressed some money into her hand. “You helped me take care of my man tonight. I can never say, thank you enough.”

  She left with a confused smile on her face. Noah reminded her that we were people. Well, he was people I was an alien, but she didn’t need to know that.

  “You’re a dangerous male, Noah Kemp.”

  “Don’t you forget it.”

  I nodded, and we made our way to the car.

  “Let me drive Cole.”

  I gave him the keys and got in the passenger side. My stomach was full; my eyes were at half mast, and I felt safe. He truly was dangerous. I would have to build up my defenses against him as soon as we got back to our motel room.

  “Cole we’re home.” The warmth of his hand on my leg and the whisper of my name in my ear woke me up. Once again, I woke without the desire to kill the person touching me.

  I was having trouble believing I fell asleep. We got out the car. Noah did reconnaissance before he came back to give me the all clear. I was going to have to set some boundaries because he was doing the things I could get used to.

  He took the bed closest to the door. I moved our bags switching our beds when we got into the room. I looked at him daring him to argue. He didn’t say anything. He sat on the bed closest to the bathroom.

  “Cole, we should talk.”

  “Take a shower. Please.” He stared at me for a while before he got up and grabbed a few things out of his bag and went into the bathroom.

  I still remember the day I turned twelve earth years old. That’s the day a male's wings finally show themselves for the first time. My family was well off, the celebration they had for me would be talked about all year long. One year later, I would go before the priestess. She would grant me her blessing to raise a family and add to the wealth of my parents.

  I would spend the year in training as well as learning all the rules the priestess would expect me to know. I knew many of them, but I didn’t understand the mating rules. I would learn them in the next year.

  I would learn why there were starving children on the streets of our pristine city. I asked my father this question more than once. I was even punished when I tried to help one of the children. That’s when I realized I would have to help them without anyone knowing. That simple act of kindness would save my life one day.

  This year was meant to start your life out right. I remember how confident my father was as we went to the judging ceremony. I was once again asking questions my father didn’t want me to ask. ‘Father will you love me no matter what the priestess says?’

  I wasn’t totally convinced the priestess knew all. It didn’t take much. I watched her as her eyes swept the crowd of young people in front of her. When her eyes landed on me, I could see the revulsion on her face. My father never saw it; his chest was puffed out with pride. That was the moment I knew I was going to disappoint him. After all my teachings after all I had witnessed with my own eyes. I still didn’t understand what would be done to me when the priestess condemned me. My mind shuddered it wouldn’t go any further. It knew I needed protecting not a one-way trip down memory lane.

  “Cole?”

  Noah saves the night again.

  “Do you want to take a shower? I saved you some hot water.”

  I shook my head. I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts. I looked at him; he was wearing a pair of joggers. His muscled chest was on display. He was a work of art. Heavily muscled with only one knife wound. For a minute, I imagined being wrapped tight in his arms. Then I remembered I didn’t bottom for anyone. I wasn’t that starving boy trying to stay alive.

  I stood and grabbed a pair of pants to sleep in. I didn’t care, I undressed in front of him. Get a good look. I turned to find him facing the wall. He was a good male, I knew that, but he showed it at every turn.

  “Goodnight.” He got in the bed. I should do the same, but I couldn’t, some nightmares don’t go away when you open your eyes.

  I heard him when he got out of the bed.

  “What do you need Cole?” He lowered his body in front of mine as I sat on the bed.

  I shouldn’t tell him. I needed to build up my defenses.

  “I need you to hold me. Just hold me.” He stood and held out his hand. I knew better, but I took it anyway. He helped me to stand and led me to his bed.

  I got on the bed first then he laid down, so he was closest to the door. He was protecting me, and I couldn’t do anything, but be grateful.

  His arms wrapped around me as he pulled me closer. Tomorrow I would be strong. I closed my eyes.

  Chapter Six

  Noah

  I stood beneath the shower my mind trying to catch up with my body. How could I be ready to rearrange my life after two days? It didn’t make any sense. I shied away from the thought and focused on Cole. I expected that when I got back into the room, Cole would have his defenses up. He’d look at me like nothing happened. There was no spark between us. I ached at the thought, but it was probably for the best. He would be the male I met at the café. I found myself nodding that was what he would do.

  He could also treat whatever happened as a joke. Act like it wasn’t worth talking about. That wasn’t something I ever did before. I didn’t feel like the women I was with should be treated like that. I knew some men did this. When you’re in the military guy's talk.

  The last option was he could still be a wreck. I could see the vulnerability in his eyes before I came into the bathroom. It wrecked me. I grabbed a towel, but my hands were shaking. Get it together Noah. I was tough. I rubbed the stab wound on my chest. One inch over and my heart would have been split in half. I survived. I knew hatred first hand. It touched my life and colored every decision I’ve made from that point onw
ards. Was I willing to open myself up to it a second time?

  Someone must hate me, and I was pretty sure it was fate. God might be a close second. Only because I could no longer understand what his plan was for my life or the earth. I shook my head. I’d have to leave the last one to people who knew more than me.

  I took a deep breath and reached for the handle to the door. Cole’s pain hit me in the chest when I walked out.

  “Cole? Do you want to take a shower? I saved you some hot water.” I wanted him to look up at me. To flash me that cocky smile of his. All he did was shake his head no. I went to sit on the side of my bed, furiously trying to find the right words to say to him.

  When he stood and grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms, I thought he changed his mind about the shower. Then his hand went to his belt. I knew what he was about to do, so I turned away. Did I want to look? Hell yeah, but not like this. This would be looking when your best friend who was a girl asked you to turn around while she changed her clothes in your room. Disgusting. I waited until I heard him sit back down before I turned around.

  “Goodnight.” I got on the bed. What could I do for him? I closed my eyes and tried to relax my body. I couldn’t. I was aware that he was sitting there. I didn’t need to look at him to know his shoulders were tight. Whatever had a hold of him wasn’t letting go. I thought about the nights I sat up. There were times I didn’t sleep until my weary body gave out.

  I understood the pain of a mind that wouldn’t let the past lie. I got up and crouched in front of him.

  “What do you need Cole?” I waited not sure he would talk to me.

  Why should he? I may be his partner, but we’ve only known each other two days. That didn’t make for best buds.

  “I need you to hold me. Just hold me.”

  I spent my life not getting emotionally involved. I tumbled so far down my high and lofty pedestal. I was sure I would never climb back up. I stood and held out my hand. Would he take it? Taking my hand would mean admitting he needed me at least for a night. Males like Cole didn’t like to need.

  I sighed when I felt his hand take mine. I tugged him up from the bed and led him to mine. I watched him crawl in, then I crawled in after him. That probably should have been that, but he was trembling. No, he was shaking like a leaf caught in the wind being thrown right and left. I placed my arms around him and drew him close to my chest. He laid his head on me. A sigh of contentment left my lips. I held him until his body went still, and I knew he was asleep. I wondered idly what Harry would do if I said the movie should have been called When Harry met Steve. I fell asleep with an odd little tilt to my lips.