Better Late Than Never

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “I agree, and she’s still not texting anything out of the ordinary, which is good. She did tell Taylor and Lauren on a group text, though, that she can’t wait until she’s sixteen so we can buy her a brand-new car. That way, she’ll finally be able to drive and go anywhere she wants. Of course, Taylor and Lauren just loved that whole idea.”

  “I’m sure they did, and I guess none of them know that we’ll still be monitoring everything Curtina does.”

  “Exactly, until she leaves for college.”

  “And what about her Internet browsing?” Charlotte asked.

  “She visits a lot of department store web sites. And I do mean a lot of them. But I guess she has that honestly.”

  Charlotte turned and looked at Curtis over the top of her sunglasses, smiling. “Is that a hint?”

  “Take it any way you want,” he said, laughing.

  “Yeah, right. Although you do have to admit, I don’t shop nearly the way I used to.”

  “I agree, and why is that?”

  “I don’t know. I just don’t feel the need to do that anymore,” she said, wishing she had the courage to tell him that she no longer cared about trying to impress people at church or anywhere else. If only she could tell him her true feelings about being first lady. But for some reason, she still couldn’t.

  “Times change and so do people, and that’s a good thing,” he said.

  “It is.

  “But you know what else?”

  “What’s that?”

  Curtis looked at her and then back at the road. “I’m really glad you wanted to go see Trina. I know you don’t understand why I’m making all these trips back and forth to Chicago, but baby, she’s getting weaker all the time. I noticed it a lot this week when she was recording those videos.”

  “I’m so sorry, and I’m glad I’ll be able to see her today.”

  They drove another minute or so in silence, and then Curtis said, “And on a lighter note, since you thought we needed some alone time, I hope you’ll still be feeling that way tonight.”

  Charlotte shook her head, and they both laughed. “You kill me, but we’ll have to see what we can do about that.”

  Curtis eyed her up and down with a smirk on his face, and Charlotte hit his arm. She loved, loved, loved Curtis, and it was the reason she had to stop drinking before he found out. Before Curtina told everything. Because sadly enough, she’d done something this morning that she hadn’t done since she’d started back drinking. She’d snuck into the guest bedroom while Curtis had been showering, taken a few sips of vodka, and then rushed downstairs to make a quick cup of coffee in the Keurig. A few days ago, she’d been searching online and had discovered that coffee, like onions and garlic, eliminated the smell of liquor. So by the time Curtis had come downstairs in his robe to have a cup himself, she’d just been finishing hers and had gone back up to their bedroom to get dressed. Then, when he’d returned upstairs as well, she’d gone downstairs again to make a second cup of coffee, which must have worked, because Curtis hadn’t noticed that she’d been drinking.

  When they arrived at Jason and Trina’s, Jason let them in, and now the four of them were sitting around laughing and talking.

  “Curtis, remember that time you stood up on one of the picnic tables at the park? You told me and some of the other kids to sit on the grass so you could deliver your message. And the thing is this, you were only ten.”

  They all laughed.

  “Yeah, I remember very well, and I also remember all the Amens you guys gave me.”

  “I know,” Trina said. “We were playing church, but in all seriousness, I knew you weren’t joking. I always thought you would end up being a minister.”

  “Really?”

  “I did. So when I heard all those years ago that you’d moved back to the Chicago area and had become pastor of Faith Missionary, I wasn’t surprised. And neither was Mom.”

  “I received my calling very early, even though I tried to ignore it for as long as I could.”

  Jason agreed. “I think that tends to happen to most of us. When we’re kids we usually know what feels natural to us, but sometimes it takes years before we pay close attention to our passion and the purpose God has for our lives. When I was a teenager, I knew I loved drawing more than anything else, but it never occurred to me that I would become an architect for large commercial buildings.”

  “That’s very true,” Trina said, “because I was the same way. It took me years to realize I wanted to be a counselor for single mothers and rape victims. Mom wasn’t a single mother, but it always felt like she was, and that feeling never left me. So I finally went back to school in my forties to get a master’s in counseling.”

  “That’s awesome,” Charlotte said, thinking back to when she was twenty-five and recently married to Curtis. She’d held a position at a law firm as a paralegal, and while she hadn’t thought it then, one of the firm’s wealthiest clients had told her that she would make a great attorney. At the time, though, Charlotte had only been interested in Curtis doing all he could to make as much money as possible. She hadn’t considered that there might come a day when she wished she’d done more with her life. Because even as first lady of a church, she was beginning to think there was a lot more she could be doing for women outside of it as well as for those who were members.

  They all chatted and discussed old times, and finally Jason stood up. “So, Curtis, man, I need to make a run to a couple of stores to get a few things. You can ride along if you want.”

  “I will,” he said, scooting his body to the edge of the chair.

  “Can I get you ladies something to drink or eat before we leave?” Jason asked.

  “I’ll have some mango tea, if you don’t mind,” Trina said.

  “And I’ll have some coffee if it’s not too much of a bother,” Charlotte said.

  “Wow,” Curtis said. “Another cup of coffee? And not only that, you want one in the afternoon? Next thing you know, you’ll be bouncing off the walls in here.”

  Everyone laughed.

  “I mean, I know you love coffee, but you rarely drink any after noontime,” Curtis continued.

  He didn’t know that she’d actually had two cups of coffee this morning and that this would be her third, otherwise he might question her more. “I don’t know, I guess I just have a taste for it. Plus, I didn’t sleep well last night.”

  “I guess,” he said, and he and Jason went into the kitchen.

  Then, after they brought Trina and Charlotte their beverages, they left the house.

  Now Charlotte sat on the sofa with Trina, picking up her coffee from the glass table.

  Trina sipped some of her tea, set it on the table, and slightly turned her body toward her sister-in-law. Then she grabbed her hand. “Charlotte, thank you.”

  Charlotte smiled at her. “For what?”

  “Because I know how much Curtis loves you, your children, and your grandson. He loves all of you more than life itself. And I know my illness has really interrupted your lives. I know that all my phone calls to Curtis and his visits here to Chicago have been a lot. But I hope you can tolerate all of this just a little while longer, because what I want is to leave here knowing that Curtis and I have spent as much time together as we possibly could.”

  Charlotte squeezed Trina’s hand, and then slid over and hugged her. Soon they were both crying, and Charlotte felt like the worst person in the world. Here she’d had the cruel audacity to be angry at Curtis because of all the time he was spending away from her and mad at Trina for calling so often. When all Trina and Curtis had wanted was to enjoy what little time they had left with each other. They’d had their whole childhood taken away from them and both their parents were deceased, so all they had now from that part of their family was each other. That was it. And worse, when Trina was gone, Curtis wouldn’t even have her.

  Now Charlotte cried harder than Trina—for the terrible loss Curtis would have to endure and also because of how selfish she�
��d been about everything. But from here on out, she would encourage Curtis to go see Trina anytime he wanted, day or night or even in the wee hours of the morning. Whatever it took, Charlotte would support Curtis completely.

  Chapter 28

  Curtis locked his hands against his abdomen and gazed out his office window. He’d driven to the church around eight this morning, and now he couldn’t help thinking again about the great weekend and Monday he’d had. He, of course, always enjoyed spending time with Charlotte, but to be able to laugh and talk with her, Trina, and Jason all at once, well, that had been the best. Then, when Curtis and Jason had returned from the store, Amber and Eric had arrived, and Curtis was thankful for the close relationship he was building with his niece and nephew. For the first time in years, he knew what it was like to connect with extended family, and it felt good.

  Then, after they’d left Jason and Trina’s, they’d stopped by his in-laws’ for a couple of hours, and he’d been glad to see how well Joe was doing. He acted as though he hadn’t been sick, which was a blessing, and he and Curtis had laughed about everything imaginable.

  So, yes, it had been one of the best weekends Curtis had had in a long time, and the fact that he and Charlotte had made love like two newlyweds when they’d gotten home had only added to his happiness. He still couldn’t understand why Charlotte had missed church two days ago, though, but because she’d seemed noticeably tired on Sunday morning, he hadn’t questioned it. Actually, she’d lounged around the house most of yesterday, too, so maybe she just needed some rest.

  Many more thoughts crossed Curtis’s mind, but most of them fell on Trina. Her time seemed more and more limited, and Curtis could tell she was losing weight and her appetite. Then, when he and Jason had gone to Sam’s, Jason had told him that Trina was now making calls to everyone she cared about—family, friends, and even acquaintances she hadn’t spoken to in a while—and she was constantly reminding him of the things she wanted to have at her funeral. Jason had shared all he could just before breaking into tears, and as Curtis sat in his office thinking about it now, tears fell from his own eyes.

  Curtis sat in silence for a few more minutes and then turned around and picked up the book Trina had given him before he’d left her house last Tuesday. When he’d taken a look at it, he’d asked her what it was, but all she’d done was look at him and say, “Read chapter ten.”

  Curtis turned to that chapter, which was entitled “Forgiving a Deceased Loved One.” He read the first two pages, and it was the following passage that caught his attention: “If you’re angry at a deceased loved one who hurt you, you’re still allowing that person to hurt you spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. It also means that you still haven’t forgiven them, and until you do, your painful memories will haunt you for the rest of your life. Even if you walk around smiling as though all is well and announcing to the world that you’ve forgiven every living person who has hurt or betrayed you, if you don’t forgive your deceased parent, child, or other family member, you will never be free. You will always struggle internally, and you’ll be disobeying God’s Word.”

  Curtis knew what he’d read was true, because as a pastor, he’d counseled many of his members and given them similar advice. But somehow, he just hadn’t been able to forgive his father or his mother. For some reason, he didn’t think they deserved it, and he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to change his feelings about that.

  Curtis read more of the chapter until his phone rang.

  “Hi, Miss Lana.”

  “Hi, Pastor. I have Curtina’s school on the line. It’s her English teacher calling.”

  “Please put her through, and thank you.”

  Curtis waited for Miss Lana to connect the call and wondered what his daughter had done now.”

  “I have Ms. Anderson for you, Pastor.”

  “Thank you. How can I help you, Ms. Anderson?”

  “Hello, Pastor. I’m really sorry to bother you, but when your wife didn’t answer I decided to call you instead. I won’t be here this afternoon, so if she calls me back there’s a chance I’ll miss speaking to her.”

  “It’s no problem at all, and I’m glad you contacted me.”

  “Well, unfortunately, Curtina hasn’t turned in her last two assignments, and when I asked her about them, she wouldn’t respond. She simply stared at me like I hadn’t said a word.”

  “I am so sorry to hear that, Ms. Anderson. And as you know, Curtina was also recently suspended, so we’re not sure what’s going on with her.”

  “I don’t know, either, because when school started last August, she was one of my best students. She was also very outgoing and polite.”

  “She was the same way here at home, but now, not so much.”

  “Well, I know you and Mrs. Black have been requesting progress reports from a couple of her other teachers, so I wanted to let you know.”

  “Yes, I really appreciate it. Also, can you tell me what the assignments are? Because I’ll be having a talk with her as soon as I get home.”

  “The one from last week was a one-page paper about any topic of her choice, and the paper I assigned last night was very simple. All she needed to write was a paragraph relating to something she’d read about in yesterday’s newspaper. But she didn’t turn that in today, either.”

  “This is so uncalled for,” Curtis said.

  “I agree, and please let me know if there is something I can do on my end. She’s a very intelligent young lady, but for some reason, she’s not doing her homework.”

  “Does she have new homework for tonight?”

  “Yes, she needs to read the first two chapters of To Kill a Mockingbird. More if she wants, but I at least want the class to read two chapters per night.”

  “Sounds good, and again, I’ll talk to her this evening.”

  “Thank you, Pastor Black, and please take care.”

  “You too.”

  Curtis was beyond angry and disappointed. What was wrong with Curtina? Didn’t she know how blessed she was to not only have the opportunity to learn but also to attend a private school? She just didn’t know how good she had it, and if she didn’t get it together, her chances of getting into a good college would be next to none.

  Curtis sat steaming, but then he thought about his own school years and how tough they had been. Not because he wasn’t smart or struggled in school, but because he’d spent most of junior high and high school being teased by other kids.

  “Hey, welfare boy,” Johnny Mason yelled as he and three of his flunkies trailed closely behind Curtis. They were all headed to Casper Junior High School, and Curtis couldn’t wait to get there and hurry inside.

  “And look at those Goodwill tennis shoes he has on,” Wilbur Jones said, laughing loudly.

  The others laughed, too, but Curtis did what he always did: ignored them.

  “And look how dirty they are,” Timothy Lewis announced. “They used to be white, but now they’re brown…like a pile of dog doo-doo!”

  Curtis quickly turned and looked at them to see how much they were gaining on him. He wanted to cry when he saw all four boys laughing so hard that they had to lean against each other to keep from falling.

  “Didn’t your mom get her welfare check this month?” Donald Voss wanted to know. “Couldn’t she at least buy you another pair of shoes from the Goodwill? Or maybe the Salvation Army?”

  “How could she do that?” Johnny Mason said. “She probably had to use her check to buy his drunk daddy some whiskey.”

  “Oh yeah, that’s right,” Timothy Lewis added, “because my mom says Thomas Black is a worthless alcoholic.”

  “Well, I heard from my mom that he beats ol’ Curtis, too,” Donald Voss blurted out.

  “Yep,” Wilbur Jones said. “I heard the same thing, and remember that time he had that knot on his head, and he told everybody he fell down a whole flight of stairs?”

  “Yep,” Johnny Mason said, “and then we found out that the dump he lives in doesn’
t even have a second level. And outside, it only has three steps leading up to the front door.”

  Curtis’s eyes filled with tears, and he stepped up his pace.

  Donald Voss laughed. “Yep, he was just lying because he didn’t want us to know his drunk daddy was beating that behind.”

  “Exactly, and that’s probably why he keeps that big head of his buried in those books all the time,” Wilbur Jones exclaimed. “If he doesn’t get all A’s, his drunk daddy will probably beat that behind some more.”

  Tears streamed down Curtis’s face, and he walked even faster.

  “Wait up, welfare boy,” Johnny Mason yelled after him.

  “Yeah, wait up, doo-doo shoes,” Timothy Lewis said.

  When Curtis couldn’t take it anymore, he finally ran as fast as he could the rest of the way. He hated having to deal with Johnny and his crew, and he couldn’t wait until the school year was over. He knew he would have to see them again next year in high school, but if he was lucky, something bad would happen to all four of them. Or at the very least, they’d be kicked out of school and sent to juvenile—where they rightfully belonged.

  Curtis snapped back from his past and realized his face was wet. His painful childhood was still affecting him, and he wondered if he would ever move beyond it. He also wondered again if Curtina knew how good she had it. But even if she didn’t, he was going to set her straight when he got home. Once and for all.

  Chapter 29

  Curtis walked into the house, shut the door harder than usual, and yelled for his daughter. “Curtina, get down here, now.” He waited only a few seconds, and when he didn’t hear any walking upstairs, he yelled louder than the first time. “Curtina!”

  Finally she made her way into the kitchen, looking afraid and guilty.

  Charlotte walked in behind her. “What’s going on?”

  “Why don’t you ask your daughter?”

  “Curtina, what is your dad talking about?”