Next of Kin

by Welfare, Sue

  ‘Do you want to go upstairs?’ Josh asked breathlessly, as she undid the belt to his jeans.

  ‘What and spoil the tour?’ she laughed, as he lifted her up onto the worktop, alongside the shopping, his hands working their way up under her skirt. ‘No, I think we should stay here. Let’s not spoil the surprise. Save upstairs for later.’

  She had been thinking about this moment all the way there, feeling slightly nervous as well as excited, wondering how it would happen, wondering how they would cross the line, and now they were and it felt so, so good and so easy. There was more kissing and touching and Sarah finally stopped thinking and let go, let herself float away into the sensations.

  And then, as the kissing and the touching grew more, more intense, more exciting she toed off her boots and helped him take off her tights and knickers.

  ‘God, it’s so lovely to be here,’ Sarah said, to no one in particular, as Josh’s hands slid under her thighs, and then there was a moment finding a condom, undoing the packet – and then he was pulling her down onto him and sliding deep inside her. Sarah gasped and cried out in sheer pleasure.

  ‘You know that I’m falling in love with you, don’t you?’ whispered Josh.

  ‘Me too,’ said Sarah.

  Later, when they were done, Josh lit the little wood burner in the tiny sitting room with its doll’s house casement windows, and they curled up on the sofa under a blanket and watched the fire crackle and burn. ‘Do you want to eat here or maybe we could go down the pub, or eat out, or we could go for a walk if you like?’

  ‘I would like to do all those things. I want to do everything,’ Sarah said, giggling, as she snuggled up against him, relishing the feel of his arm around her.

  ‘And then we should maybe do the tour?’ Josh said, with a grin, looking down at her.

  ‘Sounds like a very good idea,’ said Sarah, and didn’t resist as he kissed her again.

  The beach at Holme was deserted when they set out, wrapped up against the chill. Outside the thick walls of the cottage the day had turned wild and windy, and the beach, with its white sands, rolling dunes and whipping marram grass felt a world away from Cambridge, although it was less than two hours drive from the cottage.

  The sea was steel grey under a matching sky, and kicking up great plumes of spray on the late evening wind. Sarah stayed tucked in close to Josh, hand in hand, arm in arm. They picked up driftwood and shells and talked a lot, their words carried along beside them on the stiff breeze. Sarah didn’t want the day to end.

  It was almost dusk by the time they made their way back over the dunes, walking down through the nature reserve, into the lane and back to the cottage. The cottage was a two up two down on the end of a row, tucked up in a narrow side street. Gulls circled and called overhead, and Sarah could smell the sea on the night wind. As they rounded the corner, in the distance she could see the lamps they had left on, lighting their way back, and as Josh put his arm around her and pulled her in close, Sarah realised that she hadn’t felt this happy or this at ease for years. It felt like she had come home at last.

  ‘I’m so glad you could come,’ he said, as if reading her thoughts. ‘I want us to remember this forever. When we’re old and grey. When we can’t remember anything else I want us to remember this.’

  Sarah laughed and tipped her head up towards his, tasting the salt on his lips as he kissed her. ‘You are such a romantic,’ she murmured.

  ‘Guilty as charged, M’lud,’ he replied. ‘Now let’s hurry up and get back. I don’t know about you but I’m famished.’

  ‘I’ll cook,’ Josh said when they got to the cottage and he slipped the key into the lock. ‘I was thinking maybe chilli and ginger prawns with some rice? What do you reckon? Is there anything you don’t eat?’

  ‘No, I pretty much like everything.’

  ‘Good. Do you want to sort the fire out while I sort out supper?’

  Sarah nodded, afraid if she said too much the spell might break. She knew that whatever it was she had been looking for, this was it, and as their eyes met, although neither of them said anything, she knew that Josh knew it too.

  Sarah

  ‘When we got home to Cambridge on Sunday evening Ryan was waiting for me, in the kitchen. He said we needed to talk and that it couldn’t wait.’

  ‘And so let me get this right; this was after the weekend away at the coast with Josh?’

  ‘That’s right. Yes. We’d just arrived back.’

  ‘And where was your relationship with Josh at this time?’

  ‘We’d been talking about moving in together.’

  ‘He’d asked you?’

  ‘We’d talked about it while we were away and on the drive home. Yes. We both wanted it, both wanted to be together. He told me that he loved me. I think we were both ready for the next stage of our lives. Moving in together seemed like a natural step.’

  ‘Didn’t you think it seemed a little quick?’

  ‘No, it just felt right. I think you know when something is right. And I knew.’

  ‘And had the two of you discussed when that might happen?’

  ‘No, we hadn’t set a date or anything, and we both agreed that it wouldn’t be straight away – but not long. We both knew that that was the way it was heading.’

  ‘And you planned that Josh would move in with you into the house in Maudsley Terrace?’

  ‘Yes, well initially at least. We thought we might buy somewhere together later. Josh had been renting the place in Cottenham for six months and the lease was coming up for renewal. It seemed like an ideal time.’

  ‘And he understood that your house was tied up for at least the next two years until Ryan reached twenty-five?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And Josh was happy with your brother living downstairs?’

  ‘I don’t know that he was happy about it. But he understood that that was the way it was, the circumstances, and it wouldn’t be forever. And it wasn’t like Ryan was there all the time. He had his own place. And I thought if Josh was living there that Ryan might spend even less time upstairs.’

  ‘And it was serious between you two?’

  ‘Yes. I just said that.’

  ‘Okay, so, according to your account, when you got back to Maudsley Terrace, after your weekend away, Josh went home and Ryan was waiting for you in the kitchen? Is that correct?’

  ‘That’s right.’

  Chapter Seven

  ‘Has Josh gone?’ said Ryan, glancing round the kitchen.

  ‘Yes,’ said Sarah, sliding her holdall onto the table. ‘He had to go round to pick up some paperwork and the plans from Andy’s for a job he’s got on tomorrow. Why, what’s the matter?’

  ‘We need to talk.’ Ryan pulled out a chair and sat down.

  ‘Okay,’ said Sarah, taking out her dirty washing and a bag of shells. Sand scuttered across the floor tiles. ‘I need to talk to you too, about Josh and me. Let me just get this stuff in the machine. Do you want to put the kettle on?’

  ‘No, can you just leave that, Sarah, and sit down.’

  Sarah laughed. ‘Oh right. What, and you’re going to deal with the laundry now, are you? Did anyone ring up about the room while I was away? I know you said not to, but I put it up on that new website to see what happened. Get a bed.com or something. It would be good if we could get someone else in that room this month, even if it is just short term. I know you don’t like the idea but it would give us both a bit of breathing space.’

  ‘Sarah. Please just sit, will you?’

  She glanced across at Ryan. He was pale, dark-eyed and unshaven. She didn’t want him to spoil her good mood, not after such a lovely weekend with Josh.

  ‘Okay. So, what happened?’ she asked, sliding out a chair and sitting down at the kitchen table opposite him. ‘What’s the matter? Don’t tell me. You got fired?’

  Ryan snorted. ‘No, I didn’t. I wish it was that simple. I’m in really deep shit, Sarah,’ he said softly. ‘I mean like the deepest shit
I’ve ever been in in my life.’

  Sarah looked at his face. He said nothing, instead he turned a salt pot round and round, sliding it back and forward across the top of the table between his finger tips.

  ‘You can’t just leave it like that, Ryan. What it is? What have you done? What’s happened?’ she pressed.

  Ryan banged the salt down. It made Sarah jump. He pushed his fingers back through his hair. ‘The job I was telling you about got pulled. I suppose I knew it was going pear-shaped but they kept messing me around, saying it was on, saying it was just a matter of time, a few days, a couple of weeks. Anyway I borrowed a bit of money on the strength of it, for the van, some tools, enough to bankroll the job properly, and to tide me over till it all got signed off.’

  ‘Not again,’ Sarah snapped.

  ‘Please will you just be quiet and hear me out,’ he said. ‘The thing is I can’t pay it back.’

  ‘Oh Ryan, for god’s sake, this is crazy. You’ve got to stop doing this. How many times—’

  He glared at her. ‘Will you just shut up? I need your help not a fucking lecture.’

  ‘I can’t keep bailing you out.’

  ‘Sarah, please.’ There was something grim and desperate in is voice.

  ‘Okay, but this is the last time. You understand. I’m sure we can sort it out. I’ll really push the other spare room. And you can always get more work. You’ve done it before, it’ll be fine. How much is it?’

  He looked up at her, eyes bright. ‘I can’t fix it. Not this time. Not like this. They’re going to kill me if I can’t get the money together, Sarah.’

  She laughed. ‘Don’t be so melodramatic. What do you mean kill you? Don’t be ridiculous, Ryan. How much is it?’ She was deliberately brisk and no nonsense; annoyed that he had done this now, just when things were going so well, just when she had finally found her new start. Just when she was happy. Just when her life was back on track. How many times could he sabotage their lives? Sarah stared at him, waiting for him to say something. Trust Ryan to scupper her mood.

  She glanced up at the clock; the truth was she was tired, certainly too tired to deal with Ryan and another of his crises. She had to be at work the next morning by seven. All Sarah really wanted was to get the washing in the machine, make a mug of tea, maybe have a bath, watch the TV in her pyjamas and then go bed.

  When he said nothing, Sarah sighed and stood up. ‘Look, I’m sorry, Ryan, but I’ve got things I need to do. People can’t threaten you like that. If you don’t want my help that’s fine. I’m shattered. We can talk in the morning.’

  ‘No, don’t go. I do, I really do need you,’ he said.

  ‘Okay. How much do you want?’ she asked, reaching for her handbag.

  He didn’t look up.

  ‘How much, Ryan?’

  She turned to say something else but the words dried in her mouth: Ryan’s shoulders had slumped forward, any shred of bravado gone, and when he spoke it sounded as if he was close to tears. ‘Twenty thousand pounds,’ he said.

  Sarah stared at him, the breath stopped up in her chest.

  ‘What do you mean twenty thousand pounds, that’s ridiculous, Ryan. How the hell can you owe anyone twenty thousand pounds, that’s crazy. Who would lend you that kind of money? Are you serious? How the hell did you manage to borrow that amount of money?’ The words tumbled out of her mouth, unhindered, unstoppable, full of outrage and shock and disbelief. ‘How on earth did you think you were ever going to pay it back?’ she said.

  He looked up at her, eyes bright, face pale.

  ‘The site I was working on, the main contractors said that they wanted me for this new contract they’d just taken on. They reckoned there’d be at least six months work, maybe more if the next phase went ahead – and the guy said they’d need me to provide a couple of other guys. It’s why I needed the money. Why I bought the van. I wanted to show you I could do something, Sarah, be someone. This is your fault. I wanted to show you that I wasn’t a waste of space, that I didn’t steal things. You told me to get myself together. And I was doing it. I was. You told me to be the man.’

  ‘Not by borrowing money. I didn’t want you to borrow money, Ryan. I just wanted you to get a proper job. An ordinary job.’ Sarah took a breath, trying hard to sort her thoughts out. ‘So that’s how you got the money to buy the van and all those new clothes and stuff? I thought you were working and getting yourself sorted out. I was proud of you. I thought it was finally all coming together. For god’s sake. You haven’t got a job at all, have you?’

  ‘I did have. I did. First two or three weeks I was on the tools with a couple of the other guys with one of the big contractors and then they said they were looking for someone to tender for a job they’d got coming up. I thought I could do it and the contractor, Ted, reckoned he’d be able to help me out, get the tender worded right, help me sort out the rates and stuff, lend me any special gear I needed, and I’d give him a bit of drink for seeing me right. I mean it would’ve been ideal, but I needed a van and the right equipment before they’d even look at me. And then it all went to cock. Ted got pulled off the job for fiddling, and he was the one who hired me in the first place, so I was off the job too. And there was no way they were going to look at a tender from me without someone to back me up. I’ve been looking round for something else and doing some paving,’ he said miserably. ‘I’ve had a few days on the tools here and there. But they want their money back. All of it.’ He looked up at her. ‘You’ve got to believe me; I just wanted to pay my share, Sarah. That’s all.’

  Sarah shook her head, her pulse thready and frantic. ‘That was all I ever wanted you to do, Ryan, just pay your share, get yourself together, get some regular work, be who you are. You didn’t have to prove anything to me, you don’t – just step up.’

  He let out a throaty angry sob. ‘That’s what I thought I was doing.’

  ‘Who the hell did you borrow the money from?’ she asked.

  ‘Some people that Woody knew. Friends of this guy Farouk who used to live at his old flat. In Kirby Street.’

  ‘Farouk?’ Sarah was confused. ‘I don’t understand. I thought Woody said that he was frightened of Farouk? I thought that was why he moved out in the first place?’

  ‘I know, and you’re right, but I was just talking about the new job and maybe getting this contract and needing a van and tools and all that, and how I couldn’t really get this job without it, and Woody said that maybe he could help me out. He said that this Farouk guy is connected, and that maybe he could lend me some money. He was only trying to help. And I thought I’d be able to pay it back.’

  ‘Are you mad? With what?’ snapped Sarah. ‘You can barely manage to pay your half of the bills. Where the hell did you think you were going to find twenty thousand pounds from, for god’s sake? It’s total madness.’

  ‘I know,’ he said. ‘I know.’ Ryan stared at her. It didn’t matter that he looked fourteen or that he was so close to tears. She wanted to hit him. She was so angry and so worried and so bemused and horrified that he could have been so stupid.

  ‘What were you thinking?’ she said in an undertone. ‘How were you ever going to pay it back?’

  ‘When we sell the house,’ he said. ‘Woody arranged for me to meet this guy in a pub. He seemed okay. So I explained that I’d be able to pay the money back when we sold the house, and in the meantime I could pay them interest on the loan and he told me that that would be okay. That Woody had vouched for me. He said—’

  ‘It’s two years away, Ryan, if we can sell it.’

  ‘I know and I told him that too. I explained everything. But he said it would be okay. They knew I was good for it and in the meantime I’d pay them what I could. Interest. Just to keep the loan ticking over.’

  ‘So you talked to Farouk?’

  ‘Not exactly. Me and Woody met this guy in a pub. He works for Farouk.’

  Sarah shook her head.

  ‘It was fine. I went back later on my own and h
e’d got the money. He said everything was sweet as long as I kept up the interest.

  ‘So what changed?’

  Ryan threw up his hands in despair and shook his head. ‘I dunno. I lost the chance of the tender and I suppose I couldn’t give them as much as I promised, but I was paying them; I was,’ Ryan said, voice cracking with emotion. ‘Every week. Everything I could spare. I just don’t understand what happened really. Something changed. Like the rules changed.

  ‘The guy I met in the pub came round to the site where I was working and told me that the deal was off and that they wanted the money back and that I’d got a month to get it to them. A month. And then yesterday morning he came round here. Him and this fucking great thug. A little reminder he said, just in case it had slipped my mind. Like I needed reminding.’

  ‘They came round here?’ said Sarah, glancing towards the back door. ‘How the hell did they know where you lived?’

  ‘I don‘t know. Seriously, I don’t know. Maybe Woody said something, I don’t know. They’re going to kill me, Sarah.’ His head dropped into his hands. ‘I could see them eyeing stuff up. What am I going to do?’

  Sarah picked up the phone. ‘I’m going to call the police.’

  ‘You can’t,’ he snapped.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘What are you going to say?’

  ‘I’m going to tell them that they threatened you.’

  Ryan looked at her and laughed grimly. ‘Right, and you think that is going to do any good? I borrowed the money, Sarah. I owe these guys, and even if they could do anything the police can’t watch me twenty-four seven. And me grassing Farouk up to the law isn’t going to help my case one little bit.’

  Sarah sat back down beside him. Her chest hurt. ‘Look,’ she said after a minute or two. ‘We’ll have to find a way to try and sort this out, okay? Maybe I can go to the bank, maybe we can borrow the money against the house or something.’ Even as she was saying it Sarah knew no one in their right mind was going lend her that kind of money. She barely earned enough to pay the outgoings as it was, and there was a part of her that was livid that Ryan assumed that this was something she had to sort out, which was when Sarah saw a subtle shift in Ryan’s body language.