Shifter Bound

by Leisl Leighton

  ‘Stop it.’ His arms bounded around her, turning her, hands cupping her face, forcing her to look up at him. ‘Whatever you’re doing, stop it.’

  She blinked up at him, surprise taking her voice. ‘I … I … thought you would want me gone.’

  ‘Let’s get one thing clear, Little Bird. I never want you gone. But I wasn’t talking about your need to leave right now. I get why you might want to do that. I was talking about what you did just before. The way you began to disappear.’

  She shook her head. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’

  His thumbs swept over her cheeks in that way that always made her stomach curl with warmth, her legs to weaken. ‘You do. You were willing yourself to be nothing. To not be here.’

  ‘How do you know that?’

  ‘I felt it. You became smaller, quieter, in my mind. It was like you were fading. My wolf could feel you going away, willing yourself to not be here with us. You can’t do that, Eloise. Not ever. Do you understand?’

  She shook her head slowly, hardly able to make sense of what he was saying. ‘I thought you wouldn’t want to see me here, not after what Cain did. I was just doing what I used to do in the coven when I didn’t think anyone wanted to see me. I tried to become as small as I could, so they wouldn’t notice me. Wouldn’t blame me for things that weren’t my fault. I got so good at it, I could go unnoticed for days, weeks. I had no idea I did anything physical, or mental, to myself.’

  ‘Oh God, Eloise.’ He pulled her to him, stroked her hair. ‘You taught yourself to disappear.’ There was a low rumble in his chest. ‘I want to kill them for making you feel like you had to do that.’ He pulled away from her, cupped her face in his hands again, looking deep into her eyes, his full of desperate worry. ‘But you can’t do that again, Eloise. Not ever. With your power…’ His words choked off. She could see the struggle in his eyes, in his expression, as he tried not to give in to his anger, his terror, and yet his hands remained gentle, giving, as they cupped her face. ‘With your power, you could do something horrible to yourself. Do you understand? There is no longer any need to disappear. You are stronger than that. Stronger than you’ve ever been. Promise me you won’t do that again. You can’t go away. You can’t.’

  ‘I won’t,’ she said, voice a mere whisper. ‘I promise.’

  His gaze chased over her face and then his lips were on hers, hard and clinging, as if he wanted to drink her up, become part of her. He hauled her closer so she could feel every inch of his hard frame pressed into her, muscles vibrating as their tongues tasted, teeth nipped, every breath a gasp as if it were the last. She could taste his grief for Gabbie, his fear for her, but there was something else there too, something challenging and deep with a slight dark edge, something that burned with fire and passion and desire. She recognised it. Felt it in herself. It was dangerous, yet life affirming. And rather than be scared of it like she would have been in the past, she wanted it. She wanted it more than she’d wanted anything in her life. She wanted to be more than she’d ever been. She wanted to be the powerful woman they’d all been telling her she was, but she’d been too caught up in the past to realise they weren’t selling her a dream. It was the truth.

  Iain saw her as she truly was. It was the most remarkable gift. She wanted to give him an equal one. The only one she had to give.

  The only question was, would he value it?

  ‘If you allow that fear to grow, you will never be who you are meant to be. You will never become the warrior you were born to be.’ The Goddess’s words came to back to her, and she knew that it didn’t matter if Iain valued her gift to him or not. What mattered was that she give it with her whole heart and be brave enough to face whatever outcome came to pass. She couldn’t control what others did to her, but she could control how she responded to it. Iain was right. She could never disappear again. She was stronger than that. Always had been. It had just taken this tragedy today for her to see it.

  With that enlightened thought came the realisation that she couldn’t offer herself to Iain yet. She couldn’t give him what she’d never given anyone else. Not here. Not beside the scene of such horror and violence and grief. They would have time again later. For now …

  She pulled back, slowly, lips lingering on his, hands stroking, calming, down his face, his neck, shoulders, back.

  Iain felt the change in her and roped his desire back under control with sheer, fist-clenching force of will. His lips left hers for the last time, her breath brushing over his face, panting, as his was doing over hers. Fuck! He’d almost lost himself to his passion. She’d think him an animal.

  She was looking up at him, her hands stroking down his back. Her eyes were her own green-gold. ‘Iain?’

  ‘Sorry. I’m so sorry.’ He forced his fingers to unclench, sliding them from her hips, from her nape where he’d wound them into her hair. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking.’

  She smiled at him—actually smiled. That smile made the clenching worry in his chest loosen a little. ‘I don’t think either of us was thinking just then.’ Her smile softened. ‘And don’t be sorry. I’m not.’ Her gaze slid behind him. ‘It’s just … Gabbie. We need to take care of Gabbie.’

  ‘Fuck.’ For one wild, desperate moment, he’d forgotten the reality of her death. Fear and then passion had numbed the tearing wound that was her absence in the pack bond. But Gabbie deserved better than that from him. So did Eloise. He opened his mouth to say so, when he felt the vibration along the pack bond. ‘The others. They’re coming.’

  She stepped back from him. ‘I’ll leave you and them alone to deal with her.’

  ‘No.’ He grasped her hand, pulled her closer, but didn’t allow himself to hold her again—just her hand. Only her hand. ‘You are part of us. You belong here.’ She still seemed uncertain. ‘I need you here.’

  ‘Okay.’ Her eyes glowed with tears, but she didn’t let them spill, simply stood at his side as two pack members ran into the clearing. They lifted their heads and howled. She shivered, clenched his hand tighter.

  River, Bron at his side, ran into the clearing after the first two, his howl short and sharp, the sound of a torn heart. Bron ran over to Gabbie.

  ‘She’s gone,’ Iain said, voice choked as Bron knelt by her side.

  ‘I know. I just need to—’ A sob caught her words, tears pouring down her face.

  River hugged her to his side. ‘I’ll help.’

  She nodded, wiped the tears from her cheeks. ‘She was taken with such violence. I just have to gentle her human and wolf souls into passing.’ Her hands glided over Gabbie’s pale form, settling her limbs, closing her eyes. River’s hands echoed Bron’s movements, smoothing Gabbie’s clothing, brushing her hair to fall in waves around her face. Together they settled her, hands folded over her chest, Bron whispering words under her breath, the sound a hum that tingled on Iain’s skin.

  Eloise shuddered at his side. ‘It’s working. I can feel it. The violence is going.’

  ‘I am bringing her back to nature,’ Bron whispered. ‘It is what all our souls crave—to return to what we came from. Violent deaths make it impossible for us to do this unless certain rites are performed.’ Tears tumbled down her face, but this time she didn’t swipe them away. ‘In the end, this peace is all we have to give to departing souls.’

  Eloise trembled again. ‘You are so lucky to have each other.’

  Iain tightened his hand around hers. ‘Yes.’

  Chapter 16

  It seemed like a dream; a horrible, sad, dream. But it wasn’t. The pain and grief around her told her it was too viscerally real, a horrible aching bruise that wouldn’t heal.

  When Bron and River finished settling Gabbie’s body, Iain and the others stepped forward, running their hands over Gabbie, touching, petting. Iain encouraged her to follow their lead. ‘It helps the soul to let go, to move on.’ It felt strange, but right at the same time, to touch the dead woman.

  Once they were done, Iain let go of her hand
, and with River and the other two Were, picked Gabbie up and carried her to the packhouse where she was laid on a large flat-topped stone in the garden, in a section she’d never been to before. Eloise knew she needed to let the others know about Cain, his threat, what he wanted to do, but she couldn’t seem to make the words rise up her throat, her lips stiff and unable to form the words.

  Iain squeezed her hand and whispered in her ear, ‘Later. Grief first.’

  She stared at him, wondering how he knew what was in her mind, but then others began to arrive and her attention was torn from future worries to the present.

  Every new arrival stopped on entering the clearing and howled to the sky as they saw Gabbie laid out. She hadn’t noticed when River slipped away, but then he was there, arms full of flowers and blossoms from his garden. Bron helped him lay them around Gabbie’s body. The last ones, a few stems of kangaroo paw, he placed on her chest, her hands folded over it. ‘They were her favourite,’ he said.

  Once that was done, Bron and River backed away to stand under a ghost gum. Iain led Eloise to stand beside them.

  Every Were who arrived howled to the sky then walked to Gabbie to touch her. Once done, they joined the growing group, creating a circle around the fallen. They held hands, stroked arms, rubbed backs, nuzzled. Touching. Always touching.

  Iain never let go of Eloise’s hand.

  Finally, as the sun was setting with a blaze of furious crimson and purple, Jason, Skye, Adam and Shelley arrived. The moment Jason stepped into the clearing, it was like everyone breathed again, his presence a soothing balm. She’d never really understood the link between an Alpha and his pack, couldn’t quite comprehended the impact of it on every aspect of a Were’s psyche, but in that moment, she felt it as certainly as she felt Iain’s hand in hers.

  There was grief there. A fury savage in its quiet certainty that this death would be avenged. But alongside that was warmth. Comfort. Power. Bound with a sense of familial love so strong it could never be broken. It tugged at her, threading through her deepest soul, winding itself into her heart, and she knew she could never do without this feeling. That if it was ever broken, she would not survive.

  Iain’s fingers clenched tighter around hers. She looked up at him. His lips curled into a soft smile, just for her. ‘You are one of us.’

  She smiled back at him. ‘I know.’

  Jason and Skye arrived with Tom between them, holding their hands. Adam and Shelley followed close behind, not touching. They all stepped up to the stone bier, taking their turns with the final touches of goodbye, ‘soothing’ Gabbie’s soul on its way. Tom was stoic through the ritual, but after kissing Gabbie’s cheek, he turned to Adam, who swept him up into his arms, holding him close as the little boy sobbed into his shoulder.

  ‘Why is Gabbie gone?’

  Adam’s face stiffened, but his voice was full of love and quiet warmth as he answered. ‘Only the Goddess knows. But now she can look after all of us.’

  ‘I want her to be here.’

  ‘So do we, T-man. So do we.’ Adam patted the little boy’s back as he returned to the circle, Shelley joining them, briefly touching Adam’s shoulder before she stared off into the distance, a pinched expression on her face.

  Jason and Skye finished saying their goodbyes, letting others move up to the bier as they slipped into the circle to stand with Iain, Eloise, Bron, River, Adam and Shelley. As she watched, Eloise realised it wasn’t simply about soothing the departed’s soul. It was about settling the wolves inside them, allowing them to say goodbye in the only way they truly understood—through touch.

  She leaned into Iain, nuzzled her face against his arm. He slipped his arm around her, holding her close, chin brushing against her hair in a soothing rhythm.

  Jason and the others joined the circle around Gabbie. Silence fell. They remained that way, standing silent guard, until the moon had risen in the sky, the silver orb of it casting a bright light on Gabbie. Then, on some unuttered signal, they all lifted their heads and howled up at the moon, Were and Pack Witch alike. Driven by some instinct she’d never felt before, Eloise joined them.

  The sound was haunting, sad and joyful all at once. And as it reached its peak, Skye, Bron and Shelley raised their hands, the lightning of their power—blue, orange and purple—arced out, engulfing Gabbie’s body on the bench. Instinct rose in Eloise again, and she let go of Iain to raise her hands. Power, a green spark of lightning, flew from her fingers and joined the blue, orange and purple display arcing over and around Gabbie. The howls of all the Were turned into a hum as each one lowered their gazes to watch the display of power dancing around their packmate. The hum rose in volume, higher and higher, matching the power as it danced brighter and brighter over, around and through Gabbie. Slowly, her body rose from the stone bier, the power lifting it into the glow of moonlight. The hum hit an ear-splitting crescendo. The magical lightning flared out in a tight little explosion.

  Eloise stumbled back at its force, her arms dropping to her side. Silence, so sudden it rang in her ears. She blinked the aura of bright light from her eyes and stared at the now empty stone bier.

  Gabbie was gone. Swallowed by their power in the moonlight.

  ‘A send-off befitting a warrior born,’ Jason said, his voice echoing around the silent clearing. ‘Be at peace, Gabriella Siobhan McVey. Guard over our pack from the arms of the Goddess and in the light of the moon.’

  ‘In the light of the moon,’ the Were repeated.

  And then they began to slide away into the dark.

  Without a word, Iain led Eloise away from the clearing.

  ‘That was … beautiful.’

  ‘It was. Thank you.’

  ‘For what?’

  ‘Helping Skye, Shelley and Bron release Gabbie’s soul from her body and send her to the Goddess.’ He touched her cheek. ‘How did you know to do that?’

  ‘It felt right.’

  ‘Your power is beautiful.’

  ‘And frightening. We made her body disintegrate.’

  ‘The Goddess took her. It’s the most wonderful end any of us could hope for.’

  She didn’t know what to say to that. Iain took her hand again and they continued to walk in silence through the garden. After a while though, Eloise knew she needed to say something about what had happened, but it was so hard to come up with the words. ‘I … I’m so sorry for your loss.’

  His head dipped. ‘Gabbie was good to me at a time when I felt most alone. I’ll miss her.’

  ‘She didn’t deserve to die like that.’

  ‘Nobody does.’ He began to walk faster. ‘Come on.’ He towed her forward, towards the path they’d taken the first day she’d managed to change into a wolf. She knew without asking where he was heading. Wanted nothing more than to go with him to the beach, to feel the wind and the salt spray on her face, in her wolf fur, to chase him along the sand in the moonlight. But she couldn’t. There was too much to say. She pulled him to a stop. ‘Iain. We need to talk about Cain. About what he wants me to do.’

  Iain sighed, looking around then back at her. ‘We will. I just need to run first. With you. Can we just do that?’

  She knew she should argue, insist they talk now, but his need sang to her, through her, and she couldn’t deny it, or him, what he needed to help come to terms with his grief. With feeling so helpless when Cain had taken hold of him. Taking his hand again, she said, ‘Okay,’ and with the feel of his need a glow inside, she envisioned the white wolf. The change tingled through her, the golden rainbow glow of it flashing bright in the dark of the night. A moment later, his change aura lit the night and he was standing in front of her, eyes an amber glow, the silver in his fur shining in the moonlight.

  ‘Let’s go,’ she heard in her mind. Then they were off.

  She wasn’t as fast as him, her bad leg, even in this form, holding her back from giving full rein to her need to run fast and hard. He stayed with her, even though she could feel his need pushing at him to go faster
, to let go, to feel nothing but the pound of grass and dirt and leaf beneath his paws, the brush becoming a blur. There was a greater need inside him—she sensed it more and more every day—to stay by her side, to keep her safe, to ensure she was happy, fulfilled. She knew that need. It echoed the one in her for him.

  They ran to the cliffs and down the path onto the beach. It was there she slowed, trotted to a rocky outcrop, urged him with a bark and words in her mind she somehow knew he could hear, to run out his need. ‘I’ll wait here,’ she thought to him.

  He nudged his head against hers and then spun, a whir of black and silver in the night.

  She leapt up the rocks to stand guard over the empty beach and breathed in the salt air. The foam of waves crested in the moonlight, frothy and glistening with silver, and spilled onto the pale stretch of sand. The fishy-salty scents and the low rumbling crash of it was soothing in its predictability, the sound and smell a constant. The air was cooler than it had been in recent weeks. The summer had been long, but now, this was the first night she truly felt autumn’s haunting notes in the air; the first sign that winter was on its way in a month or so. It was almost Easter.

  Oestra.

  Rebirth and awakening. She felt like she’d done both, here. With Bron. And Iain. She huffed. Who was she kidding? It was mostly Iain. He’d given her so much and she’d brought him nothing but worry and grief. Yet, on this night, when he should want her far from him so that he could grieve alone for the woman he’d once shared himself with, he insisted she be with him. Took comfort from her presence. He was a remarkable man. One she’d almost lost tonight. Could still lose if she didn’t do what Cain wanted her to do.

  She couldn’t let that happen. She had to find the strength to make them all see that doing the blood spell to bring Cain back to his body was the only thing she could do. If she didn’t do it, he could kill so many of them before the sustaining power he gained from Morrigan and from her disappeared and he finally faded away. She had to make them see this wasn’t about saving Cain—her brother was already dead. The Cain she knew and loved wouldn’t have done what that monster had done today, no matter how much he hated someone. It was about saving them. Saving Iain. He had to live. Had to live in the familial warmth of his pack. She could give that to him. Only her. The knowledge was powerful. Filled her with energy for life. She wanted to share it with him. Share herself with him. It hadn’t been time before. Now it was.