I tried to stand, but my legs fell out from under me. Rusk scooped me up in his arms, carrying me into the wide house. Wood for a fire was laid on the grate, and Kjexx followed us to light it.
“If she can’t walk you might as well take her to bed. The house will warm quickly, and there are furs on the beds upstairs,” Kjexx said, more like a host than a captor.
Rusk turned to the wide wooden stairs, carrying me up to a balcony that looked over the great fire place where the flames from Kjexx’s fire already danced and long, eerie shadows streamed behind him. There were half a dozen rooms above. Rusk chose one with a large bed, stripped out of his wet, snow-crusted clothing and helped me struggle out of mine, before wrapping us both up in the furs.
I sank into his arms. What right did he have to be so warm and to feel so good and at the same time to be so impossible?
“What do you want from me?” I asked. How could I enjoy his presence when I knew how little he enjoyed mine?
“It’s not what I want from you, Tylira. It’s what I want for you. I want the very best.”
Was that a kiss he left on my hair? I needed to think of something strong and meaningful to explain to him why he couldn’t just set standards for me. I’d think of it soon, once I warmed up. I was still trying to focus my thoughts as my body relaxed into his warmth and sleep crept up and stole me away.
Chapter Fifteen: Crack in the Wall
I WOKE WITH A start. Why was it so dark? Why was the air so heavy? I clawed upwards, panicked, pushing through the barriers. Oh. They were furs, and the air beyond them was frigid. White, morning light streamed into a wide room with wooden floors and a huge wooden door that was wide open. My breath left a cloud in the air, and I shot back under the covers, sinking into the soft warmth. It wasn’t all furs. Instinctively I nestled towards Rusk’s warmth, hands searching for his waist to hold. I wasn’t ready to get up into that frosty air. I need just a few more minutes of sleep.
Wait. My hands met hot, velvety flesh. He shivered at my touch. Why wasn’t he dressed? I reached frantically under the covers. Why wasn’t I dressed? The underthings I’d worn in the shuttle were all I had on. Vague memories of us ripping off snow-soaked clothing and huddling under the furs rushed back to me. I’d fallen sleep before I’d had time to think about what that might mean. I reached for him again.
“Get back, girl. Your hands are cold.” His voice was heavy with sleep.
“Rusk?”
“So cold. Don’t touch me.” He tugged the furs violently, wrapping himself up in them. I shrieked as I was suddenly mostly-naked in the frigid air.
Gripping one side of the biggest fur, I tugged back, and then dove under the covers, colliding with him.
“Cover Thief!”
“Ice Queen!” But he didn’t sound angry, and he gathered me gently into his arms and kissed the top of my head.
It felt so nice and so safe. Why couldn’t I lie forever in a warm soft bed with a playful Rusk instead of saving the worlds with an intractable Rusk?
“Are we at peace?” he asked.
I hesitated. Could I just declare us at peace with so much still hanging in the air? I reached over and began to tickle his ribs.
“What do you think?”
“Stop! Stop!” he yelped, and then when I did, his tone turned pouty. “That feels like war to me.”
“So, the famous ‘War Leader’ can’t handle a little tickling?”
He seized me by the waist and flipped me onto my back, so that the furs draped over him like the dome of a tent and I was pinned beneath him.
“Surrender?” he asked.
I laughed. I just needed a moment and then I’d grab him right above the knee and he’d squeal…
My thoughts cut off as his lips came down on mine, velvety smooth and warm. He kissed me so tenderly that I just wanted to melt into his kiss. He seemed like he might pull away as the kiss drew to a close, but I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and gently pulled him back, kissing him now with an intensity that sought to drive aside my own confusion and uncertainty. I wanted to make those things mean nothing. I wanted to drown them with this passion.
I moaned with the ache of wanting to be what he wanted, of wanting to know this could last. He pulled gently against my grip, lifting his head, and then shrugging the furs back. His honey eyes were bright and liquid in the morning light.
“Stop doubting. You think too little of me. I didn’t choose you because I had no choice. You were my choice.”
“A bad one.”
I couldn’t help myself. Those words were going to ring in my mind forever if something didn’t wash them away. His hand slid up to cup my cheek, stroking my skin with his thumb.
“I wasn’t talking about that choice. You’re the one choice I’m proud of. I choose to love you all over again every day, and every day it’s the best choice I’ve ever made.”
What could I say to that? Tears pricked my eyes, as I arched up to kiss him again, wrapping my arms around his body and feeling the heat fill my cheeks. I didn’t know if I was blushing because of the position we were in, or filled with heat at the thought of him choosing me, not just once but over and over again.
“I choose…”
He set a finger over my lips. “Don’t say you choose me, too. Not until you’re sure you do. Not until you stop doubting and start to believe me.”
“If that’s your wish…”
“Not my only wish.” One of his eyebrows lifted and his sly smile made my head spin with anticipation.
“What else do you wish for?”
His look was so vulnerable, it sunk me, undid me, made me want nothing except to please him.
“I want you to stop doubting yourself. You have honor in you — a soul of gold — if you would just embrace it.”
I bit my lip, torn between pleasing him and uncertainty that I wanted to serve anything — no matter how noble — other than my own desires.
He leaned in close to my ear, his whisper smooth as silk and twice as enticing. “Trust me.”
“I do.” It felt like a vow.
“I’ll wait for you.”
“Wait?”
He pushed himself up, his hands leaving me and the cold air rushing in. He shook off the furs with the words, “I’ll wait until you’re ready. As long as it takes.”
I didn’t want to wait for anything. I wanted him to get back into the bed and make good on his promises.
His skin hardened into gooseflesh in the cold, and he turned to rummage through our packs for the spare clothing we had. I noticed our wet things had been hung up around the room and were mostly dry. Had he done that after I fell asleep? He tossed me the other bag, and I took it reluctantly, pawing through it to find a second set of clothing. The set in the bag was made of purple silks, fitted, but lined with rabbit skin and trimmed with emerald dyed-furs. They fit perfectly, the sash wrapping around the middle snugly and then the outfit completed with a thick coat and a deep hood. I knew I looked good, but I couldn’t mask my disappointment as I finished dressing.
Rusk leaned down to look into my eyes while I braided my long hair to keep it back from my face.
“Don’t look so sad, Wild Girl,” his crooked smile sent a little shiver through me.
I wasn’t sad. I was disappointed. No matter what he thought, I didn’t believe I was the crystalline pillar of nobility he thought I was. I didn’t even know that I wanted to be that, but it was the price to be his. He’d made that perfectly clear, and I wanted to be his. Did I want it enough?
A cough from the doorway pulled me out of my thoughts. Rusk and I straightened.
“Interrupting?” Kjexx asked with his mischievous smirk.
“Yes, braiding hair takes focus,” I snapped.
He laughed, as if I was charming rather than waspish. “I’ve got Helixx and Graxx settled in, so it’s time to go.”
“Settled in?” I asked. Rusk had that faraway look he got when he was communing with the Eaglekin.
I shivered. “It seems cold for that.”
“I’ve made breakfast. Our bellies will be full and warm.”
An empty belly hadn’t been my worry.
His eyes danced like he had a secret. “I promise not to let you freeze to death. The most that will happen to you on foot is losing a toe or two. How is that for a guarantee?”
He had to be joking about the toes. Right? How did one ‘lose’ a toe? Were there blades on the ground?
“Let’s just do what we have to.”
“Ha! Come on, the porridge is getting cold.”
Rusk was quiet during breakfast, occupied by speaking to the minds of the other creatures, so he didn’t notice when I gave him a disgusted look at the meal Kjexx presented. ‘Porridge’ was a thick, shiny gruel whose only asset was that at least it was hot. I ate, but did not enjoy it. Kjex and Rusk ate quickly and in silence.
We left the great house, after dousing the fires, with nothing but the packs on our backs.
“Won’t the Eaglekin be cold?” I asked Rusk through chattering teeth as we stepped into the snowy world beyond.
“Kjexx moved them to a hot spring over there,” he pointed down the valley but I couldn’t see anything. If he wasn’t worried about them, then I didn’t need to be either. His sense of honor would never allow the Eaglekin to suffer harm while we were responsible for them.
I watched the silhouette of the great house over my shoulder as we followed Kjexx towards a cliff face. The house was huge, but its soaring architecture blended so easily into the landscape that it was hard to tell where mountain began and roof ended. We must be a long way from the Veen Empire to keep such a place hidden. I braced myself for a long hike today, but every muscle in my body ached after yesterday. It was ridiculous to expect me to hike after that. Why couldn’t I have stayed beneath the furs with Rusk for just a few more hours? I shivered for an entirely different reason when I thought of his silky skin and warm muscles skimming over my own. The red in my cheeks wouldn’t all be from cold today.
“Here,” Kjexx said, as we came up against a solid rock wall.
“Have you lost your way already?” I asked. “First you poison innocent women and then you get lost? You need to rethink your choices.”
He gave me a grin so full of mischief that I almost laughed with him. Did that win the girls hearts? Without looking, his hand spread over the rock and he grunted as he pushed against it.
“You’re going to push the cliff over? Maybe you should have brought the Eaglekin to help.”
I spoke too soon. A small pathway, just wide enough for us to shuffle through sideways, opened in the rock, and without a word Kjexx ducked inside. I sucked in a deep breath. It was going to be like yesterday all over, but even tighter!
“Go ahead, Tylira. I’ll watch your back.”
How could I disappoint those honey golden eyes?
I slid behind Kjexx, shuffling along through the narrow squeeze. My heart felt like it was pounding against the rock. Would I get stuck? What if Kjexx and Rusk got wedged in and I was stuck between them? I couldn’t even see Kjexx’s ko anymore. My breath started to come too quickly, little white flecks dancing across my eyes.
“Keep moving, Wild Girl,” Rusk whispered, taking my hand. “It’s not much further. I see light ahead.”
I gripped his hand hard, and closed my eyes, shuffling along between the rocks. They were damp, as if it were warmer in this crack in the mountain than in the frosty world beyond. I didn’t want to think about why it might be warmer here. Desperately, I gripped Rusk’s hand, focussing on how it felt. My other arm held my pack tight against my side. It was getting harder to push it through the gap. I tried to think of the ko to distract myself. Rusk’s was getting brighter. It suited him so perfectly, and now that I knew Kjexx better the jagged lines of his ko made a lot of sense as well. How strange to live in a world where people’s souls were projected above their heads, like signs above inn doors.
I fell forward so suddenly, that I lost Rusk’s grip and plummeted into the snow. The icy shock of it hitting my face was like a slap. I gasped, thrashing back to my feet and clearing the snow from my face. We were out! On either side of me, huge crumbling statues stood in a line, ringing the cliff walls behind them. Heads, and hands had fallen off leaving only stooped shoulders and foreign costumes behind. I shivered at the dead white of the gigantic army of stone.
“Who are they?” I gasped.
“Ancestors,” Kjexx said. “Honored once, but now forgotten. An army of them to protect from the Northern storms.”
“How do statues protect from storms?”
“They weren’t storms made of the weather.” Kjexx pointed down the slope. A hundred yards to the west, a tear in the earth, started at the feet of the ancestor statues. I followed the huge rent with my eyes. Even glazed with deep snow and ice it stood out in scar-like horror at least a mile long, nearly cutting into the tall walls of a sprawling city below us.
I gasped, remembering how I’d carved a similar cut into the earth when Amandera pursued me. Someone else had been unweaving here.
“That’s Eleninsk, a border city of the Veen Empire,” Kjexx said, misunderstanding my surprise.
“We’re at the Empire already?” Rusk said.
Kjexx smiled wickedly. “What would you have thought last night if I told you the enemy was less than a day’ journey from that cabin?”
“What caused the tear?” I asked. Who cared about cities when the evidence of this was before their eyes?
“The cataclysm.” Kjexx shrugged. “Come on. If we hurry, we can eat lunch in a warm inn.”
I shivered, and not from the cold. If this cataclysm tore their world apart, could I really hope to find a solution to our own cataclysm on Everturn?
Chapter Sixteen: Birch & Oak
THE WALLS OF ELENINSK looked like birch leaves carved from bronze and overlapping to form a long, solid wall. The effect was beautiful and intimidating. What would it take to cast hundreds of identical leaves four times the height of a man and five times his width? They reminded me of the segmented battle armor of the Veen we had fought. Hopefully none of them were on watch duty.
“Now might be a good time to remove your jewelry, Windbearer.” Kjexx had removed any sign of the Black Talon from his person when we first left the secret entry from the mountains.
“Do you think they will demand my jewelry as a tax?”
He laughed. “I think reports may have reached the Eleninsk guard that a woman with a flashing gemstone on her head killed hundreds of their brothers in the Veen Army.”
I blushed and removed my heartstone. Why hadn’t I thought of that? I couldn’t afford to make foolish mistakes like that. It was just so easy to forget about the heartstone when it was always there.
“Will they speak our language.”
Kjexx’s expression was unreadable. “Catane ordered the Veen to all learn Command when he took over. Some speak it poorly, but all will speak it.”
What would it be like to be ordered to learn a new language?
“What was Veen like before Catane came?”
“There was no Veen. These people were Landers. All of them. They won’t look much different than I do…beyond being ‘civilized’ by the new and glorious Veen Empire.” His tone was pure acid, and I avoided looking at him.
“Here. Hold my hand,” Rusk said, as he tucked our tether up into his sleeve. With our hands together you couldn’t tell that we were bound by a silver chain. “I doubt they see many san’lelions here.”
“Although if the Veen hear that they could be chained to a beautiful woman if they lose in battle, we might find our wars easier to win,” Kjexx said with a crooked grin. His anger hadn’t lasted long. And did he still find me beautiful? There was something about the confident way he looked at the world that made me want to impress him.
“Why is no one else on the road to Eleninsk?” My experience entering cities was limited, but the road to Al’Karida had been packed with people.
“It’s the northern gate. The others will be teeming with people, but the only people to come through this gate come through the north, and travellers from our lands to Veen are rare. Put your hoods up. We don’t want anyone to pay too much attention to your skin. The less attention we can draw, the better.”
We hurried to comply, our faces were shadowed by the deep fur hoods as we closed the last yards before the gate. A sharp winter wind whipped around the wall of Eleninsk and the closer we got to the closed gate, the more it pushed at us, until we had to lean into it to keep our footing. There was a small, man-sized door in the side of the gate and Kjexx reached for a heavy door knocker, shaped like a leaf, and knocked three times against the door.
It opened quickly and a guard clad in black ordered, “Enter quickly and we’ll deal with your business. Hurry up! You’re letting the wind in.”
We pushed through the door, and the guard fought to close it again, against the wind. My breath caught in my throat. We were in a ring of guards warming their hands near a brazier. With a gate closed behind us, and nothing but Eleninsk before us, we were easy victims if they wanted us to be. I felt my hands grow clammy. Rusk’s palm felt just as slick, despite the cold.
My vision blurred suddenly, and I was pulled against my will into the meditation world. Ra’shara swam brightly into focus. Was it always so bright? The threads that wove it stuck out in my vision like they had when I first started to enter the world of my ancestors. What drew me here? Was An’alepp calling me? I glanced around, but I was inside the same gatehouse full of cold guards only also in Ra’shara.
“An’alepp?” I called in Ra’shara while in the real world Kjexx explained himself to one of the guards. All of them wore birch leaf badges on the belts of their black, segmented armour. Their complete uniformity and almost unattainable perfection of dress and decorum made my mouth feel dry. If guards on an outpost city were so disciplined, what did that mean for those at the heart of the Empire?
Lightning Strikes Twice (Unweaving Chronicles Book 2) Page 10