Falling Darkness: The second book in the Falling Awake Series

by T. A Richards Neville

  “Do you have decorations?” I asked Caleb. He was lounging against the archway, offering no help what so ever to Ressler or Drake, although, they hardly needed it.

  “Right here,” Drake said, handing me two pink gift bags. I sat down, untying them and inside there were baubles of red, green, and gold, plus decorating ribbon.

  “You guys,” I said, feeling overwhelmed. I never dreamed I could have so many people in my life that were so amazing. I didn’t ever want to have to be without any of them. Of course, one day I would have to, but I wouldn’t think about that tonight.

  Leah looked like she was about to vomit. “Oh please don’t cry.”

  I sat with Ressler, putting the last of the decorations on the tree. “Thank you for doing this,” I said, setting a red and gold stocking on one of the branches. The whole apartment smelled of fir tree and the outdoors. It smelled like Christmas. “And for everything.”

  “Don’t mention it.” He clipped a red and brown Robin next to my stocking. “You know I would do anything for you.”

  My heart was physically aching. I loved Ressler, but I could never love him enough. I could never love him as much as he deserved. “So did you go on that date?”

  “What date?”

  “With Minka the cheerleader.”

  “That sounds like a bad porn movie,” he said with a raised eyebrow and I started to laugh.

  “I guess it does.”

  “I’m not interested in dating.”

  “It’s not fair of you to deprive people like that,” I said jokingly, but deep down, I meant it. Someone out there was missing out.

  My legs were cramping. I stood up and Ressler handed me the gold, sparkling ribbon for the top of the tree, then picked me up, heaving me onto his shoulders. I fastened the ribbon, pricking it and pulling it until it looked perfect and then the celling lights were switched off and the warm tree lights glittered to life, flashing in a sequence of their own.

  Drake was standing by the light switch. “Looks good,” he said, admiring the tree. I could see he was impressed, and he had good reason. It was beautiful.

  Caleb came up behind him, resting his elbow on Drake’s shoulder. Our gazes immediately locked onto each other and I was smiling like crazy. It wasn’t even Christmas yet and I already had holiday fever. “Definitely looks good,” Caleb said, looking only at me. “Real good.”

  ***

  Christmas Eve was like one long day of waiting. I was antsy all day in anticipation for the night time to roll around. I was in my bedroom wrapping my gifts for everyone, and Ressler poked his head inside the door. “You wanna go upstairs and shoot some pool?”

  “Uh, huh.” I nodded, excitedly.

  “Cool. See you up there.” He closed my bedroom door behind him and I abandoned my gift wrapping in exchange for something to wear. Shortly after, I stepped into the bar in the same jeans and sweater I originally had on. No one here cared what I looked like and I was free to just be myself. I didn’t have time to do anything with my hair and it was left to its own devices. Mostly straight but with a natural wave running through it.

  Ressler was leaning over the pool table ready to take his shot against Drake and Caleb and Leah were standing over the jukebox, with their heads almost touching, in deep conversation. It was strange seeing Leah up here, she normally never liked to be seen. Sully’s was mostly only inhabited by fallen angels, but Leah was still very cautious. I was just about to go and help Ressler out, when my phone started to ring. It was too noisy in here, with music blaring from the speakers so I took it outside. I was smiling when I saw that it was Matoskah. I swiped the screen to answer.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey, girl.” It was Quidel, and my smile stretched even wider. I heard a rustle and some laughing and then Matoskah came on the other end of the line.

  “Hi,” he said.

  “Hi.”

  “How’s things?”

  “Good,” I said. “We have a Christmas tree.”

  “Because it’s Christmas?” Matoskah asked. I could hear his smile even from here.

  “Oh, yeah. It’s just Caleb doesn’t really do Christmas, or Christmas trees so it’s kind of a big deal. I didn’t really expect them to go all out. You know, for me?”

  “That was why I was calling, I just wanted to wish you a happy Christmas. So, happy Christmas.”

  “You too. I wish I could have seen you guys. How’s Matwau?”

  “I haven’t seen him. Maybe you’ll come back… in the New Year or something? Just drop in, maybe?” I laughed when I heard Matoskah laughing.

  “I will.” I couldn’t wait to go back and see them. I doubted Caleb would agree, but we would cross that bridge when we came to it.

  “And then maybe you’ll tell me what’s really going on with you? All the serious stuff. I never got to hear the whole story and cousins tell each other everything.”

  I started to laugh. “Cousins tell each other everything?”

  “Yeah. You didn’t know that?”

  He did have half a story. The better part of the story and I knew I would have to come clean with him. He had done so much for me already.

  “I didn’t know that,” I said to his question.

  “You just disappeared last time, no goodbye. Q was really upset.” I could hear Quidel shouting in the background for Matoskah to give him the phone. “Listen, I gotta go.”

  “Okay, sure,” I said.

  “C’ya,” Matoskah said through what was clearly a struggle going on.

  “Yeah, C’ya.” The phone went dead. I stood holding it in my hand watching the screen before I dialed Matwau’s number. He answered on the very last ring when I was sure it was about to go to voicemail. I don’t think he believed in cellphones so I was calling him on his home line.

  “Hello.” His voice carried a lot of suspicion.

  “It’s Pria,” I said. I was nervous and I couldn’t pin down why, exactly.

  “Pria.” He said my name with anguish and relief. I had never gotten an opportunity to see Matwau last time I went to Neah Bay, and I had no idea whether or not he knew I was ever there. I certainly hadn’t told him, but Matoskah might have.

  “How are you?” I asked.

  “I was worried about you.”

  “You were? Why? I’m fine.” Was it possible he knew what had happened?

  “I thought I might have heard something from you. Anything.” I would have groaned if he couldn’t hear me. He must have heard I was there and never came to see him. Was he upset?

  “I wanted to call…”

  “How is your father?” he’s asking about my dad?

  “He might be getting better,” I said. “I’ve got a good feeling.”

  “And you should always go with your instincts. I hope he is well soon, for you.”

  “Thank you, that means a lot to me.”

  “I have a gift for you. It’s small, but I think you will like it.”

  “You bought me something?” Now I felt bad. I never bought him anything. I wasn’t sure he would even want me to.

  “It didn’t cost me anything in money, but I know it will mean the world to you.”

  “That’s so nice. I was just speaking to Matoskah and I said I would try and be out there to see him in the New Year, so I could come by then? I mean, if that’s okay. If you have plans…”

  “I can’t wait,” he said. He sounded a little happier. “Matoskah mentioned that you met your mother’s cousin, Aiyana.”

  “Yeah, I did. She was really nice. We didn’t speak a whole lot, but I’ll see her again.”

  “That was hard for you finding that out?”

  “It was a little weird. Matoskah being my second cousin was kinda weirdest of all. That was the last thing I was expecting to happen. It just came out of nowhere.”

  Matwau laughed softly. “He didn’t want to scare you off.”

  I smiled. “You were keeping his secrets?”

  “I found good reason. We all wanted you to come
back. And Pria?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I hope this is a good Christmas for you.”

  I wished I could have invited him to have Christmas with us but I doubted he would intrude like that, and I doubted even less that he wanted to risk seeing my dad. I admired the way he was handling the whole situation. I knew he loved my mother like crazy to not hold having an affair against her, even when she wasn’t here anymore. “I will see you in the new year.”

  “Happy Christmas,” I said and then ended the call. I felt empty after that conversation, like he had opened up a hole inside me, and I had to work hard to get the despair off my face before I went back inside. I sat outside for a further five minutes until I knew what it was that bothered me so much about Matwau. We both needed answers, only he would never openly admit that. I needed to know whether he was my dad and he needed to know whether he was in fact a father. There was only one thing that could be done about it and when my dad finally did wake up, even though I hated the idea, I was going to have to find out once and for all whose blood was running through my veins.

  The door rattled open behind me, startling me for a second, and I slid the phone into my pocket. Caleb stepped outside and sat down next to me on the steps.

  “Pria?”

  “Caleb, if my dad’s fallen angel, then what does that make me? I’ve read about it on the internet and the word Nephilim keeps popping up over and over again. Is that me? Is that what I am? I’ve never asked you before because I’ve honestly never wanted to think about it, and then there’s Matwau…” I sighed, folding my hands over my knees. “Before my dad was left completely lifeless, he was just my dad. Now he’s a fallen angel and I haven’t really met that person yet because he still hasn’t woken up. “Is there anything you can tell me?”

  “Can we just get Christmas out the way first? There’s time for all that. Don’t you want a few days of normal, human holidays?”

  “Is it bad that I care about Matwau? Guilt is eating me up.” I obviously thought it was bad if I felt the need to ask someone else to validate what I was doing and how it should make me feel. “Am I betraying my dad?”

  “You did what you thought you had to do. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.” I looked up at Caleb. He’d changed his tune. He wasn’t looking at me, only straight ahead. His expression was empty, but I could tell he was thinking. He shifted a little so he could see me, rolling his shoulders forward. “What?” he smiled when he saw me staring at him.

  “Nothing.” I prized my gaze away from him. It was dangerous to look at him for too long. He made a girl do crazy things. Take Tamara for example, she had turned into a psycho bitch. Even tonight, in plain clothes like a black t-shirt and sweat pants, he wore them better than should be physically possible. He was the mold for how looking good should be done.

  “You can say it.”

  “It’s just that, before, you were so against the idea of me finding out the truth.”

  “I was a jerk then. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love the idea.”

  I gave him my, you’re kidding, right? Look.

  “Okay, I don’t even like it. But it’s your life. It’s not for me to decide.”

  “I’m gonna keep seeing Matwau.” I might as well lay it all out there. Let him know how it was going to be. “And Matoskah… he is my family.”

  “Then I need a drink,” Caleb said. He stood up, giving me his hand and pulled me to my feet.

  “Yeah, me too.”

  I slipped two quarters into the jukebox, and scrolled through the awful song choices, picking TLC’s ‘Diggin’ on you.’ It wasn’t actually one of the song choices, but I made it one. If I had to listen to one more rock song, I was going to smash the damn juke box up. Ressler and Drake were finished with the pool table, playing a card game instead with two other men. Drake showed his hand, and swiped the chips from the center of the table, smiling. “Thanks boys,” he said, stacking his winnings. I didn’t play card games and I knew nothing about gambling but I knew enough to see that they were playing poker.

  Caleb finished his beer in one swig. “I’ll be right back.” And he went over to the card game, pulling up a chair. He was dealt into the next game and I had somehow found myself sitting alone.

  “Great.” I sipped at my vodka and orange. If my dad knew I was up here drinking alcohol he would kill me and Caleb.

  “Got you this.” Leah put a bright pink drink in front of me, in a martini glass.

  “Where did you get that?” I asked, admiring the color of it. “You sure as hell didn’t get that in here.” Sully didn’t even own glasses as nice as this.

  “I made it.” She popped the cherry off the cocktail stick, and it disappeared inside her deep red lips. “Try it.”

  Neglecting my vodka, I picked up the sophisticated glass and tasted the pink liquid. “Oh, wow. That’s amazing. What is it?” It was like candied strawberries and a lot of alcohol.

  “My version of a martini, with much more flare.” She winked at me.

  The song I’d chosen ended and since it was Christmas, I fed more money to the jukebox. When ‘Santa Baby’ filled the bar, a unanimous uproar blocked out the music.

  “What the fuck?” Ressler stood up with his arms raised in the air at Sully who was behind the bar looking just as pissed off.

  I giggled into my glass.

  “You’ve got some balls,” Leah said with a smile. “Nice style.”

  “This place is way too masculine,” I said. “A few Christmas songs won’t kill them.”

  Leah took a cigarette from her never ending pack and lit it up, blowing smoke into the already claustrophobically, smoggy air. “No, but it might kill me.”

  “Oh yeah. A few Christmas songs will kill you, not that disgusting nicotine stick hanging out of your mouth.”

  “Want some?” she said with a snide smile, blowing the smoke in my face.”

  “No thank you,” I said wafting the smoke away, coughing in the aftermath.

  “Suit yourself.” She flicked her ash all over the table. A cat call was directed over at our table from some guy at the pool table with shoulder length blonde hair and stubble on his chin. “I got somethin’ for you baby,” he said, licking his lips.

  “Ew,” I said, cringing.

  “I got something for you too,” Leah cooed. “Come here.”

  The blonde guy sauntered over, all cocky like he was about to get lucky. Leah slid her hand down the front of her bra top, slowly. Her top didn’t really hide a whole lot now I actually looked closely, and when blondie was just about to fall down her cleavage, bug eyed and panting like a dog, she pulled out her middle finger right in his face. “There you go. Now fuck off.”

  Caleb turned to see what the commotion was and a smile lit up his eyes.

  “Slut,” the blonde guy said, walking off with a scowl on his face.

  “Stupid fucking human,” she shouted back to him.

  “Hey,” I said, scowling at her myself.

  “I’d say no offence, but I really don’t care. I’m outta here.” She stamped out her cigarette. “C’ya.” Yeah, C’ya, I thought.

  I finished off my drink and hers, and went to the bar. Drake was already there, doing a great job of making the contents of a beer disappear.

  “Is it okay if I ask what’s happening with you and Mellissa?” She had barely mentioned him to me and I didn’t want to bring out any sore subjects, but once I had been drinking, I tended to forget about those things.

  “We’re friends and that’s about it.” Drake ordered another beer.

  “And Mellissa’s okay with that?”

  “It was her idea.”

  “Oh.” I thought they might have made up by now. All secrets were out but it seemed like neither could forgive the other.

  “I guess friends is better than nothing?” I said convincingly and with a smile that felt like I was trying out for Miss Teen USA.

  “Is it?” he asked me,
disbelievingly.

  “Why couldn’t you two just work it out?” I knew Mellissa could be stubborn, but Jesus… And I was pretty sure she had been the one in the wrong in the first place. “What happened?”

  “It got too much for her.” He shrugged. “Honestly, I haven’t got a fucking clue.”

  “So that’s it?”

  He finished his second beer since I had been standing there. “That’s it.”

  I drank my soda at the bar. I had no one to sit with, anyway. I sent Mellissa a text wishing her a happy Christmas for tomorrow and from the blurred writing on my screen, I was a little past tipsy. It was time for me to go to bed. I didn’t want to wake up with a headache tomorrow.

  Downstairs, in the apartment, the Christmas tree glowed warmly. It really did look good, and nearly too big for the modest sized room. I lay down on the sofa and watched the fluctuation of the lights, letting it send me to sleep. It didn’t feel like I’d been sleeping long, when warmth wrapped around me. I opened my eyes and the cover from my bed was tucked in around my body. I sat up but there was no one else in the room with me. I rubbed my eyes awake and then got up, dragging my quilt to my bedroom.

  When I was small I would never have dared sleep in the living room on Christmas Eve in case I woke up early and found Santa leaving my presents. Of course now I know he’s not real, but the thought of waking up to him still creeped me out.

  I changed into shorts and a matching cami and crawled into bed, flicking out the bedside light. I turned when the door of my bedroom creaked open.

  “Ressler?” he was standing in my doorway, leaning against the frame.

  “Just wanted to say goodnight.”

  I sat up and brushed my hand through my hair. “Was that all you wanted?”

  “I guess I wanted to see you.”

  “You miss my music?” I smiled, thinking about earlier.

  “I never want to hear that garbage again.”

  “I can’t make any promises. There’s always next Christmas.”

  “Remind me not to invite you next Christmas,” Ressler said and I laughed, grabbing my pillow from behind me, throwing it at him.

  “Oh, hey,” I said, when he caught it. “I got you something.” I reached down under my bed and pulled out a small, square black box tied in silver ribbon. I patted the spot next to me. “Here.” I handed it to him when he sat down next to me.