Taken By Ezra (The Lanphear Men Book 1)

by Caroline Peterka

  “Please, Ezra, I need you too.” I reach down and grab his impressive cock in my hand, stroking it slowly. I am drunk with lust for him. I need him more than my next breath right now. I’m a little scared that he is hovering above me, but I push the fear back. I love him more than I’m afraid. I want to be normal like this. I’m too overwhelmed with need for him to want to change positions. I trust him fully.

  “Do you want to get on top?” he asks softly, rubbing his cock along the seam of my wetness.

  “No, Ezra. Just take me like this.”

  I want to try this. I’m too relaxed from that last orgasm, and I just want be consumed by him. I want to know what it feels like to have the man I love above me. I want him to finish healing me, and I think this will help. I pull him down to me, and he slips through my folds, stretching my muscles until he is fully seated inside me. I let out a sigh of content, feeling his sweaty forehead touching mine. It should be a turnoff that we’re both sweaty from the hot July day.

  The fireworks are going off as he starts to move his hips, the loud booms and claps forgotten once again as he thrusts harder into me. He has his lips on mine and is devouring me with his mouth and body, gripping me tightly to him. There isn’t anything better at this moment than being under him with the sky lighting up beautifully.

  Ezra’s gaze burns into mine with each flash of the fireworks above. He has one of his hands cupping my cheek and the other pressing into my hip. He can’t take his eyes off mine, and it feels different from the other times we’ve had sex. It feels open and raw. It’s on another plane that I thought was impossible to reach. His eyes are full of so much emotion, and his voice is full of love as he chants my name over and over. His body is growing tense, and I know he is almost there with me, gaining speed with his hips.

  My emotions are all over the place when we orgasm together, tears leaking from my eyes because I love him and I need to tell him. Today has been the best day ever, and I’m tired of being afraid. I’m done being afraid of affection and love. I’m tired of being scared of everything. He has opened my eyes to the world and made me feel again when I wasn’t sure it was possible. There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to love. I’m bursting with love for him, and I see it in his eyes too. I saw it when he was making love to me under the fireworks.

  “I love you, Ezra…I love you,” I whisper, hugging him to my body as we try to catch our breaths. I don’t feel him tense, but he is nuzzled deep into my neck. I can’t move because I’m under him, but I don’t feel fear. I breathe in deeply, loving the way he holds his body to mine.

  Ezra leans up on his elbows, his face stoic. “Am I crushing you?”

  “No” is all I can say. I know he heard me, but he isn’t saying anything. I try to smile even though it hurts that he is ignoring my words.

  Ezra kisses me on the lips sweetly and pulls out of me, smiling at me, but I notice in the dim light the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. He isn’t happy about what I said, and the first sign of fear starts to grab me.

  Oh, shit! Did I just screw this up? My mind is whirling with questions as we quickly dress. The fireworks are over, and we hear people coming back to the house. I hear voices talking excitedly about the show or how wonderful the party was. There is so much going on, but I focus on Ezra’s actions.

  Ezra is like a robot going through the motions all of a sudden. He is kissing me, holding my hand, but this isn’t the loving boyfriend I had minutes ago. There isn’t love shining in his eyes. He is cold and aloof. He is like a complete stranger, and I wonder if this is the last time I will see him.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Blindsided

  I hear my name being called, and I walk back over to Ezra’s parents’ patio to find Shane and Claudia beaming at me. I put on a brave face, but I know Claudia will read through it. I have to pretend nothing is wrong. I have to pretend I didn’t just screw up. I know Claudia told me to wait a bit longer to tell Ezra I loved him, but I’d been caught up in the heat of the moment. I had to tell him. I felt it was right.

  “That was an amazing show,” Shane says happily with his arm around Claudia.

  “Where were you and Ezra?” Claudia asks, her words slurring, and she picks grass out of my hair. I bite my lip hard, trying to calm my nerves that are flapping around like a million butterflies in my chest. “I guess you had your own fireworks,” she says, laughing, her body swaying.

  I turn my head away when Ezra puts his arms around my waist, nuzzling his face in my hair. I don’t understand why he is being affectionate after I just confessed my love to him and he ignored me. He seemed like he was brushing me off, but now he is trying to cuddle up to me. Claudia thinks I’m embarrassed about her finding out, but in reality I’m ashamed of myself. I just ruined my relationship, and Ezra is putting on the final act for the evening. My stomach feels sour, and I excuse myself to use the bathroom. I feel terribly sick all of a sudden. I make it partway down the hall when I run into the leggy blonde who is exiting the bathroom.

  Please, no, I think sadly. I don’t want to puke all over her and start another fight. I see her wry smile, and I want to slap the stupid girl. I know Ezra’s family invites everyone, but no one has introduced this girl all day. I don’t know why she is here or why everyone’s chosen to leave me in the dark about her appearance. It makes me uneasy to know she is at the party.

  “Did you enjoy the show?” she asks me, lifting a perfect brow, amusement clearly written all over her beautiful face.

  “Y-yes.” I feel dirty and ashamed now for some reason. I just had the most amazing sex with my boyfriend, and I have a hunch she knows about it. I slip past her, tears burning in my eyes. I won’t lose it yet. I need to make it to the bathroom.

  “I think you look cute with him now,” she says, and I freeze by the door. She lets out a short laugh. “It’s good he moved on for now, but don’t get used to it. Once you confess your love for him, he will be back to me again.”

  I spin around on my heels. “Who are you?”

  “I’m Roxane, but you can call me Roxy. I know he brought you up to the office several times. I know his MO with pretty, lost girls with big eyes, but he will get bored.”

  I clench my fists at my sides. “How do you know he will get bored?”

  Roxy shrugs like it is no big deal, crossing her arms across her small chest. “He’s been mine since grade school, sister. I’ve seen it before. We go on small breaks like this all the time. It lasts a few weeks or it can be a month. We had just agreed on a break the night I met you at that club. That was why he was so mad at me when I jumped you.” Her lips are turned up into a cruel smile, and my insides turn.

  My heart drops, sinking lower, and I need to get away from this girl. I hear her laugh when I slam the door. I go to the toilet and lose all the contents of my stomach. I feel horrible. My body expulses all I’ve eaten or drank, but not what I want it to. I want to forget about blurting the “love” words to Ezra. I want to forget I met that cruel girl in the hallway.

  Sick.

  It all makes me sick.

  Idiot.

  I’m an idiot for falling so fast like this. Love isn’t supposed to feel like I’m having my heart ripped out of my chest, but that is what it seems like as I heave over the toilet. I feel like I was just used. I feel awful that this has happened.

  Unfair.

  It’s not fair that this is happening right when things are going fine for me.

  There is loud knocking on the door, and I flush the toilet quickly, yelling out to give me a minute. I look at the reflection in the mirror, and I hate the way I look. My eyes are puffy and red from being sick and crying, but there is nothing I can do to fix this. He didn’t say he loved me too. He probably doesn’t, and I don’t want to force him, but he told me he liked me a lot. He has been so patient and sweet with me. It all feels like a lie now. All his words were a facade to win me over.

  Another knock sounds, and I cringe that I will have to face his family like this
. To make matters worse I’m staying at his place, and that is where my cell and purse are right now. I groan, leaning my head against the cool mirror.

  “Are you okay in there?” Levi asks, knocking on the door.

  “Umm, yeah.” I wipe at my face with a tissue, trying to not look so blotchy. I give up after a minute and open the door to face Levi. I keep my eyes down and try to brush past him, but he doesn’t let me go.

  “Hey.” His voice is concerned, and he grabs my arm gently.

  Normally I would freak the hell out if someone grabbed me like he just did, but I’ve been better. I was better with Ezra, but now I want to freak out. I don’t feel good, and I want out of here. I want to go home and process this mess I made. Things are really fucked up, and I feel ill again. “It’s okay,” I say softly.

  “Did something happen?” Levi asks me, lowering his face so he is eye to eye with me. I shake my head at him. “Bullshit. What did that asshat do?”

  I see Shane and Claudia coming down the hall. Relief hits me, and I put on a fake smile. “Nothing, Levi. It’s going to be fine now.”

  “Hey, sweetie.” Claudia’s voice is garbled and she slings an arm around my shoulder. She didn’t appear that intoxicated earlier, but I was sulking too much to notice. She is drunk, and I know she drove here. It’s also a good thing because I have an excuse to leave. She is going to need a ride home. “I’ve had way too much fun today.”

  “Yeah, you have.” Shane snorts.

  “Levi, can you let me into Ezra’s so I can grab my purse?” I ask, forcing down the lump in my throat.

  “Um…yeah?” He scratches his head, looking over at me.

  “Come on, Claudia. I’m going to take you home.” I try to steer her toward the front door.

  “I thought you had another sleepover with Ezie.” She mispronounces his name, her eyes narrowing into small slits at me.

  “Not tonight, sweetie. I need to drive you.” Shane follows us out to her car that is parked in Ezra’s driveway. He helps me to buckle her in, and I wait for Levi to get my phone and purse for me. “Thanks for helping, Shane.”

  “No problem, girlie. I would drive her, but I rode with Mom,” he says, looking sheepishly away from me.

  “I’m glad you’re still close to your mom,” I say, smiling. I reach out and hug him tightly to me. I forgot how nice hugging friends could be. It still amazes me that I was missing so much in my life.

  “This is nice, babe. I don’t think you’ve ever hugged me in all four years we went to school.” He pulls back and his eyes widen. “Um…did your boy know you were leaving?”

  I want to groan when I turn to find three large Lanphear men approaching us. I see Levi did more than go get his brother’s keys; he brought Ezra and Azriel, and with the way the boys are scowling has me a little worried. I shift on my feet, uncomfortable once they are next to us.

  “What’s going on, Lanee? Levi said you were sick and that you were leaving,” Ezra says angrily.

  “I need to take Claudia home. She is a little drunk,” I lie. Well, it isn’t a complete lie because I do need to take her home.

  “I can take her,” Azriel offers, his hands on his hips. “I’m not staying at the house tonight, and your apartment is only six blocks from the shop.”

  Shit. I need to think fast because that would have been a good idea if I wasn’t so upset with Ezra. I shake my head, backing up into Shane. “Um…I’m not feeling well. I think I got too much sun. I should just head home. I don’t want to get you sick.”

  Ezra’s eyes widen, and I see fear there. He takes a step toward me, and I know that if he touches me I will forget what happened. He curses when I move out of his reach. “What’s going on, Lanee?” He grits his teeth.

  “Ezra.” Azriel holds onto his brother’s arm, but Ezra jerks away from him.

  “Leave me the fuck alone, Az. I’m talking to my girlfriend. What’s wrong, baby? Let’s talk about this, please.” His chest is rising and falling fast, and I hate seeing him upset like this. It reminds me when I first met him in the club—his nostrils flared out and his body tense.

  “I don’t feel well, Ezra. I…” I can’t finish the lie. It hurts too much, and I look away from him.

  “I think I saw Roxy in the house,” Levi blurts out.

  “What?” Ezra spins on his brother. “What was she doing here?”

  Levi backs up, lifting his hands up as if to defend himself. “Whoa, man! I didn’t invite her. I hate that bitch.”

  “Ez, relax, okay.” Azriel pulls Ezra back from their brother and then turns to me, his eyes narrowed. “Lanee, go in the house with Ez, and I’ll take Claudia home. Everyone has been drinking, and I think we all need to sleep on this.”

  “I’m not drunk,” I spit out.

  “Just go,” he snaps at me.

  My eyes widen. I refuse to be treated like this from anyone. I’m not a child. I want to go home. I have to make sure Claudia is taken care of. I turn on my heels, deciding I don’t need my phone or purse and walk around the car to the driver’s side door. I hear Ezra calling my name, but I won’t look at him. I get in and slam the door, locking it at the same time. I start the car, glancing to see Ezra standing next to the car, looking hurt and confused.

  “What’s wrong?” Claudia asks me, her eyes half open now.

  “Nothing, sweetie. I’m taking you home.” I put the car in reverse and see Ezra standing there fuming, his hands in his pockets. I shake my head when he steps closer to the vehicle as if he wants to stop me. I see the pain in his eyes.

  My heart is aching right now with what has gone on, and I want to tell Claudia, but she’s drunk. I doubt she will remember this in the morning, so it is useless to talk to her. I feel dirty and gross from my own actions. I told Ezra I loved him when I shouldn’t have. I should have kept my mouth shut, but I was too overwhelmed with emotions.

  It was amazing to make love under the fireworks with him on top of me. When I told him to take me, I thought I was finally healed. It felt good to have him above me when before I would freak out and have a panic attack.

  But… His cold demeanor afterward is what threw me for a loop.

  Who the hell is that Roxy girl?

  Was she telling the truth?

  I should just ignore her, but it hurt with how raw I was already feeling. I’m sure she was just being a catty bitch and Claudia would tell me to ignore her. But what if there was truth to what she said? What if this was just a break for Ezra and her? Levi had let something slip about Roxy when we were at their parents’ house weeks ago. He might have only mentioned wanting to see Roxy get jumped at the club, but Ezra had shut him down. Ezra had kicked his brother’s leg before he could say anything else about Roxy.

  “I feel…sick,” Claudia groans, leaning her head toward the glass.

  “We’re almost home, babe.”

  Please don’t puke. Please don’t puke, I chant over and over in my head. I seriously do not want to spend thirty minutes cleaning up her and the car tonight. I have had a rough night, and I might snap if she gets sick in the car. I just hope I can get her into the apartment by myself because all I want to do is go to bed and pretend today never happened. I was having such a good time until I screwed up everything.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Confessions Are a Bitch

  I wake up to loud banging somewhere and glance at the clock next to my bed, seeing it is only six in the morning. I don’t know how long the sound has been going on, but I need to answer it before the older lady across the hall hears it. Claudia had forgotten her keys and phone once, pounding on the door and yelling for me to answer it at one in the morning. She had woken up Mabel Simms, who is a force to be reckoned with, causing her to chew Claudia out before I finally woke up to answer the door. Mabel is a sweet woman and all, but don’t make loud noises.

  I get up and head to the door, not bothering to look out the peephole and not caring that I’m only wearing a shirt and panties. I open the door fast, growling out
at the person fiercely. “What?”

  Ezra is standing there, his chest heaving, clothes wrinkled from most likely sleeping in them last night. He doesn’t say a word, instead pulling me into his arms and pushing into the apartment. His body is warm around me, and I momentarily forget about last night until he starts chanting how sorry he is against my neck.

  “Ezra…let go.” I squirm away from him to put some distance between us.

  “I’m sorry about being a dick last night, baby,” he says, trying to grab me again.

  I move out of his way and put my hands up. “Stop, Ezra. Just stop for a minute.”

  Ezra reaches up to run his fingers through his hair, his icy-blue eyes filled with pain. He breathes out slowly, nodding. “I just want to hold you. I haven’t slept since you left. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  Now that I’m looking at him I can see how tired he appears, dark circles like bruises under his eyes. His body sags, and I hate that he is so distraught over last night. He plops down into the couch, putting his elbows on his knees.

  I go to him, forgetting that I was angry with him. I was up most of the night playing babysitter to Claudia, holding her hair back while she vomited and then making sure she was still breathing when I helped her into bed. I had also thought a lot about what happened between me and Ezra, deciding that I should have let him explain about that girl from the party. I was hurt that he didn’t return my words of love, but it hurt more to have that girl say the things she did. I’m not good at relationships. This is my first one, and I don’t know what to do.

  Claudia may have been sick, but she caught on that something happened with Ezra at the party. During her lucid moments she demanded I tell her, and by the time I was finished she told me I was an idiot for not talking things out with him.

  “But you needed me,” I had told her, helping her wash her face.