Taken By Ezra (The Lanphear Men Book 1)

by Caroline Peterka

  “I think a month.” I look down at my feet, swinging them like I did when I was a kid.

  “I ran some blood work, Lanee, and everything came back fine. No virus. No bacteria,” she begins, her hand touching my knee gently. I look up at her and I’m surprised I didn’t jump at her touch, but I see something else in her eyes. “You’re pregnant.”

  My pulse spikes. What? How? Huh? “No way. I can’t be. I’m on the pill. I take it every day.”

  Dr. Palmar looks at the tablet in her hands, reading through something that must be in my chart. “Did you use condoms as a second method?” she asks, looking me in the eyes.

  Holy hell! Condoms! No. No. No. What the hell was I thinking? I wasn’t thinking. I never thought when I was with Ezra. I was so turned on each time we were together. My breathing is starting to come out in short pants, and my chest is tightening. Oh shit! I’m going to have a panic attack right here.

  “Lanee, relax. Breathe. Come on, breathe.”

  I hear the words, but I can’t do it. I feel sick. I need air. I can’t breathe. This is too much. I sway forward, trying to catch myself from falling, but I can’t. I barely hear Dr. Palmar curse when everything gets dark.

  * * * *

  My head feels like it is pounding, and my mouth is dry when I open my eyes sometime later. The room is dimly lit, and I look around to see Claudia in a chair reading a magazine. She doesn’t notice me until I try to sit, groaning in pain when the IV tugs at my wrist.

  “Hey,” she says, getting up from the chair. She steps up to the bed and helps me with a cup of water before I can ask.

  I sip the water carefully, and it helps some. “Thanks.”

  “You scared the hell out of me, Lanee. Dr. Palmar said you’re dehydrated and gave you IV fluids to help perk you up. You didn’t tell me you were this sick,” Claudia says, taking the cup from me. She sits on the bed beside me, her green eyes filled with worry. “I wish you would’ve come sooner.”

  I swallow hard, lowering my gaze to my hands in my lap. I guess Dr. Palmar didn’t spill the reason I passed out. Well, besides the fact I was dehydrated. I’m pregnant. Holy hell! What am I going to do? I have to tell Claudia, but I feel horrible that I’m dropping this on her. My breathing is even, and I’m glad that I feel a little calmer than I did earlier. Some of the nausea I have been feeling is gone too.

  “What did Dr. Palmar say it was?” Claudia asks finally.

  I blow out a breath, steeling myself for the response I know will come when I tell her the news. I look her in the eyes, taking her hand in mine. “She said I’m pregnant. That is why I’m not feeling good. I haven’t been able to hold anything down, which is why I got so dehydrated.”

  Claudia’s eyes widen and she gasps. “Holy shit!” That I expected. Then she bursts into tears, pulling me into her embrace. I didn’t expect that. “Oh my God, Lanee. You’re going to have a baby.”

  A baby! I’m having a baby. My hormones are so out of whack, and soon the two of us are both crying, holding onto each other. I’m going to have a baby. I’m going to have to call Ezra and tell him. What is he going to say? Shit. What is he going to think? I haven’t talked to him in two weeks, and he hasn’t even texted me at all in days. The last text I had gotten from him told me that he was here for me if and when I needed him, but that was four days ago.

  Claudia is babbling on and on about all the things that are racing through my mind when the doctor walks in, stopping us from our crying jag. “Hi, Dr. Palmar.”

  “Hello, Claudia. I take it that Lanee has told you the news,” she says, smiling at us.

  “She did.” Claudia squeezes my hand.

  “How are you feeling, Lanee?” Dr. Palmar asks me.

  “A little better. I’m tired and thirsty.”

  “I gave you some fluids and wrote you a prescription for Zofran in case the nausea comes back. I’m going to have you come back in six weeks for an exam with me. I want you to take the prenatal vitamins and continue to hydrate yourself. No pushing past your limits now,” Dr. Palmar tells me firmly, her kind eyes crinkled at the edges. She looks to Claudia quickly. “I expect you to make sure she gets some rest for the next few days. I don’t want her getting sick again.”

  Claudia nods, laughing shortly. “I swear I will.”

  “Good.” Dr. Palmar smiles at us both again. “Well, I’ll send in Cheri to remove the IV, and then you’re free to go. I’ll see you in six weeks.”

  We thank her, and she leaves us, her nurse coming in minutes later, telling us she will have a prescription ready for me at the pharmacy. Claudia is beaming at me the whole time, and I feel awkward for some reason. She helps me out to the car and takes me to get the prescription.

  The whole time we’re driving I can’t help running my hand over my belly, knowing that there is a life inside me. Even if it isn’t very big, it is still a little person growing there. I’m going to be a mother. I’m having a baby. I’m not sure if I should be so elated right now, but I am. I had never thought I would ever have kids, let alone have sex after what I went through, but here I am. I’m pregnant with Ezra’s baby.

  Oh, God. I have to tell him. I don’t know how he is going to react over this news. I’m a little worried to tell him. I don’t want him to think I got pregnant on purpose. I didn’t.

  I hate that he used those girls. I don’t want to become one myself. Oh crap. My emotions are all over the place. I am furious at Ezra. But I think a small part of me wants to forgive him. I have lost my mom only days ago. I don’t know if I have completely lost Ezra, but I need to see him. I need to know where we will go from here.

  “Do you have my cell?” I ask Claudia once we stop at the pharmacy.

  “No, you didn’t grab it. I think you only brought your purse though. Why?” She glances at me and then nods, handing me her phone. “Oh yeah, you should probably talk to Ezra.”

  “I want to talk to him in person though.” I glance at the clock, surprised it is only seven. “Can you drop me off at his house? I’ll have him bring me home when he leaves for work.”

  “Are you sure?” she asks, and I nod. “What if he freaks out? I can just stay in the car and wait for you.”

  “I appreciate it, but I think it will be okay. I was the one who pushed him away. I was upset with him for using those girls. I need to apologize to him. Besides he has been so kind and patient with me.” I smile as I say this, thinking of all the things he has helped me with. I really miss him. I miss being in his arms. I miss feeling his warm skin next to mine.

  “Listen, sweetie, I’m not trying to be overbearing here. I want you to be happy. I truly do, but don’t apologize.” Claudia grips the steering wheel hard. She glances at me quickly, worry in her eyes. “I’m just saying you have nothing to apologize for. I would have kicked him out too. I know we talked about this. I know you feel strongly for him. I want you to talk to him about all of this. Tell him about everything. It hurts when someone you love is not what you expect, but I think Ezra really does care about you. He is a wreck without you, and you’re not any better.“

  “I know.” I gaze out the window, my mind full of confusion. I think I’m coming to terms with my mom’s death, but I need to figure out my situation with Ezra. I am a walking contradiction. I love Ezra, but I didn’t trust him. But do I trust him now? I have to find out. I will tell him about the pregnancy after we talk. I want to trust him. I have trusted him with my body, but I need to make sure he is done using girls for sex. I want to be his one and only. I need to be his.

  “Okay, I will do this, but if anything happens then call me,” Claudia tells me, turning down Ezra’s street.

  I have changed so much since I met him. I have felt taken care of for the first time since my attack, and deep down I know I don’t want to lose him. I want to be with him. I don’t want to be alone.

  “Do you know whose car that is?” Claudia asks, pulling up into the driveway.

  I see a red sports car parked behind his truck. “I don’t
know. Maybe it is one of his brother’s,” I say with a shrug. I reach for the door handle to get out. “I’ll call you if I need you.”

  “Good luck, sweetie,” Claudia calls out to me when I’m halfway up the driveway.

  I take deep breaths as I step up to the porch, hoping I can do this and that he isn’t too upset with me. I need to come clean with my past like he did. I need to tell him what happened to me and why I reacted the way I did. I also have to tell him about the baby. I instinctively rub my belly, still in awe that I have a life growing inside of me, a life I created with Ezra.

  I step up to the door and notice it’s partway open. I stand there for a moment deciding if I should just walk in or not. I hear music playing somewhere loudly in the house, so I go with just walking in due to the fact that he may not hear me. I head into the foyer and notice a table overturned where it is usually stood up.

  “Hello?” I call, wondering what has happened. I don’t see anyone in the living room, and I know the music has to be coming from upstairs. I close the door and head up the stairs, my pulse increasing the farther I get. I don’t hear voices, but the music is getting even louder. I’m afraid I’m going to find something I don’t like when I get to Ezra’s door, the loud music coming from there.

  My heart is pounding fiercely as I reach for the door handle, jumping when it opens up to a familiar blonde girl I despise. I’m frozen to the spot, taking in her disheveled appearance and smeared lipstick. I can barely form a word as I stare at her.

  “You,” Roxy growls at me, her face scowling hard.

  I look past her to see Ezra in nothing but a towel. I don’t miss the lipstick on his cheek. I snap my face back to Roxy, who appears flustered and angry. A part of me wonders if she is angry I interrupted them. But I push that thought back when Roxy steps closer to me.

  “He was mine first. I was going to get him back, but you had to show up.” Her face is severe and I smell a hint of alcohol on her breath. She doesn’t wait for me to talk, continuing on. “This is all your fault.”

  “Get out, Roxy,” Ezra snaps at her, stepping closer to us. Roxy lunges at me with rage in her eyes, but Ezra stops her with his hands. “I told you to get out. I mean it.” He glares at her back.

  I’m surprised when she elbows him in the stomach, causing him to let her free. I watch silently with wide eyes. I don’t know what the hell is going on.

  Roxy curses at Ezra one more time and then stomps down the hall, disappearing from our sight. Nothing makes a sound until Roxy slams the door, letting us know she is truly gone.

  “Lanee?” Ezra asks softly.

  I bring my gaze back to his. I stare at his chest and then look down to the towel that is hanging from his narrow hips.

  “What the hell was that?” I ask angrily.

  “I was in the shower. I came out and she was sitting on the bed,” Ezra says with panic. He moves closer to me and I step back instinctively.

  I shake my head, putting a hand up to warn him to stay back. I’m panting hard, trying to suck in enough oxygen. My lungs burn in my chest. I swear my heart is shattering into a hundred pieces right now. Pain is rushing through me, and I close my eyes.

  “Listen to me, baby. Let me explain,” He pleads with me, stepping closer until I’m backed up against the wall.

  Foolish.

  I was a fool to think he was missing me. I came here hoping we could get over this rough patch. I’m in love with Ezra, and he was playing me. I didn’t mean a thing to him at all. I’m on the verge of having a panic attack. Oh, God. Roxy. I hate her. I hate her smug grin. I hate the way she makes me feel sick with jealousy. I hate that she has come between us. I shouldn’t have pushed Ezra away like I did, but he didn’t have to run to her a few weeks later. I needed him. I wonder if Dr. Palmar is wrong about being sick with heartbreak, because that is how I feel as I look at my boyfriend after finding him here alone with that girl. It feels like my heart was just ripped out of my chest.

  Literally.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I Love You

  “Breathe, baby…relax and just breathe.” Ezra’s voice is soft next to my ear, and I can’t stop trembling.

  I don’t know what is going on. My head is spinning and I need to sit down. I slide down the wall until I’m sitting on my butt. I’m trying to relax. I’m trying to get a grip on my emotions. Trust. I need to listen to him explain everything to me, because right now I feel horrible.

  “Shh…I’ve got you, baby.” He rubs my back soothingly, but I am anything but soothed.

  “How could you?” I ask through gritted teeth when I’m able to catch my breath. My body aches, and I feel like I’m going to be sick again, but I need to know why Roxy was here. I need to know why he is in a towel and there is lipstick on his cheek. I know I haven’t talked to him in two weeks, but this hurts. There has to be a rational reason for Roxy being here alone with him. My mind is conjuring up many scenarios, and I shudder. This is all too much.

  First, I have to deal with my mom’s accident, sitting beside her daily. Being with her and watching her body slowly die was hard. She is gone, and I have no family left. I don’t want to push anyone else away. I’m tired of being scared and alone. Now I come here to talk with Ezra, only to find him here with Roxy. I don’t think I can take any more sadness in my life.

  I was broken the first time I met him, but he has helped me heal. I want to work through this rough patch of our relationship. I was drowning before he helped me see that relationships were real. I was coming out of my shell with him. I felt something for him. I love him. He doesn’t say anything at first, his eyes full of concern.

  “I swear I didn’t invite her here. I must have left the door open when I got back from my jog. My head has been so messed up since you’ve been gone,” he tells me.

  My stomach turns, and I cover my mouth fast, feeling the bile come up. I don’t think I can take more of this sickness. I came here expecting to see Ezra alone so we could talk about the baby and my past, but that clearly wasn’t going to work out. I gag, and Ezra’s face visibly pales as he reaches for the small trash can by his door. He hands it to me before I soil his carpet.

  “What the fuck?” comes Azriel’s voice loudly down the hall. “What is going on? Where are your clothes, Ez?”

  I groan into the can at the same time Ezra curses. My head is spinning, and I have another headache coming on. I should have taken Dr. Palmar’s advice and just gone home to rest, but then I never would have seen Roxy here. Maybe it would have been better to never know that Roxy had been here. This is seriously screwed up.

  “Ezra?” Azriel asks, leaning up against me. “Get some clothes on, man. Then we will talk about this. And I want to know why I just saw fucking Roxy pull out of the driveway.”

  Azriel helps me with my hair, and Ezra has gotten up to dress now, both of them looking with concern at me on the floor as the sickness finally passes. They sit next to me by the wall, and I slump with exhaustion, my body really hating me for not listening to the doctor about rest.

  “Lanee, what’s going on?” Azriel asks me softly, handing me a cup of water that Ezra had retrieved for me.

  I take a sip and sigh heavily. I’m too tired to fight with Ezra, and I want to go home. I should call Claudia to come get me, but I’m too drained. Instead, I turn to look at Azriel through blurry eyes, the tears still lingering there. “Can you just take me home, Azriel? I need to go.”

  Azriel’s gaze searches my face, and he glances at his brother before shaking his head no at me. “I think the three of us need to talk about this. I don’t like coming home to find you in this condition. What the hell did my brother do to you?”

  “I didn’t do anything,” Ezra tells him.

  “Come on, Lanee, let’s go downstairs to talk this out,” Azriel says, standing up. He reaches down and helps me to his feet, but I sway backward. “Shit. Are you okay?”

  “I feel dizzy,” I say, touching my head, wishing that would help the spinn
ing.

  “Have you eaten today?” Ezra asks me, and I shake my head. He curses and scoops me up into his arms, holding my body tightly to his, and it is all I can do not to inhale his woodsy scent. “We’ll get you some food, and then we’ll talk.”

  I close my eyes, resting my forehead on his hard chest. I should protest that I’m fine, but I’m not. I feel dizzy and sick. I should have eaten before I came here. Hell, I should have gone home first, but I wanted to see him.

  I don’t get a chance to respond because he is carrying me down the long hall, taking the stairs carefully like I’m his precious cargo. It should make me feel better, but I’m too confused.

  “Should I call Ma?” Azriel asks when Ezra sets me on the sofa.

  “I just need to eat and calm down,” I blurt out. I don’t want to get his mother involved right now. I am hungry, but I’m tired too.

  “Okay, but if you get worse, I’m calling in the reinforcements,” Ezra says, his voice firm. He leaves the room to make something, and I’m left sitting there with Azriel.

  “Talk to me, Lanee. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I can help.” Azriel is sitting on the coffee table in front of me, his eyes full of concern and worry. “If my brother did something bad to you, I have four other brothers who would kick his ass for you.”

  I laugh. I can’t help it. My emotions are all over the damn place. I’m happy. I’m sad. I’m mad. Now I’m freaking laughing like an idiot. I cover my face with my hands, and I go from laughing right into sobbing like a fool. I can’t make up my mind what I want to do.

  Damn hormones.

  “Oh shit! I’m sorry…I…um…fuck! I’m not good with crying and shit,” Azriel says, taking my hand in his. He pulls me closer, and I’m in his arms, my body shaking from crying so hard. He shouts for Ezra, and I want to tell Azriel it’s Ezra’s fault I’m like this right now.

  Ezra rushes into the living room with dry toast, his eyes wide. “What the hell, Az? What did you do to my girl?”