Transcendent

by Lisa Beeson

  A couple days later they dressed me in a red and yellow sundress and put a matching headband in my short hair; I guess to make me more girly-looking. They packed up a little bag with the clothes the charity people had given me, and a teddy bear that had been in my room since I had woken up. They told me that Mr. Ramsey was going to come later to pick me up and take me to go live with my new family.

  I didn’t know how I felt about that. The hospital was all that I had known.

  Mr. Ramsey came that afternoon. He walked into my room with a big smile and a kind greeting. He grabbed my bag and told me to follow him. As we made our way through the hospital, the nurses waved goodbye and wished me luck.

  I hadn’t been to the front entrance doors since the first time I woke up. When we walked towards them and they opened by themselves to the world beyond, I froze. He assured me that everything was all right, and he gently took my hand to lead me through the doors into the humid Savannah air, and out to the parking lot. Normally I didn’t like to be touched, but I was nervous, so I let him hold my hand.

  The world outside the hospital overwhelmed me. The sights, the sounds, the smells – they bombarded my senses. The ride to the Riley’s was a blur. Mr. Ramsey had talked to me on the way, but I barely registered anything he said. Soon we pulled up to a pale grey house that looked straight out of a story book: white picket fence, rocking chairs on the front porch, and beautiful fragrant flowers bloomed all around.

  We got out of the car and walked up to the front door. Mr. Ramsey gave me a reassuring smile and then rang the door bell. I heard a dog bark and a woman’s voice saying, “Sit, Roosevelt.” The door was opened by a pretty girl with brown skin a bit darker than mine, tightly curled hair, cinnamon-brown eyes, and a big dimply smile.

  “She’s here!” she called excitedly back over her shoulder. “Hi, I’m Sadie! I’m you’re new big sister. And that’s Hector; he’s your new big brother.” She pointed to a boy with big brown eyes, short dark hair like mine, and a shy smile.

  A large black, brown, and white dog came up to sniff me. I’d seen dogs in books and on T.V., but not up close and personal like this. I took a nervous step back.

  “Oh it’s alright, Sweet heart. He’s just curious,” said an older woman with pale skin, short blond hair, and a friendly smile. “Sit, Roosevelt.” The dog immediately sat, with his tongue out and tail wagging.

  Sadie knelt down and scratched the dog behind his ears. “This is Roosevelt, he’s our dog. He’s a Bernese mountain dog, and he’s super sweet and super smart. He actually knows when I’m going to have a seizure, and let’s Mom and Dad know. Isn’t that cool? But don’t worry, it’s not like those scary shaking seizures, I just kinda black out and don’t even know I’m having one. Hector says I just kinda sit there and look spaced out.”

  A tall man with grey hair, light blue eyes, and a kind face came over and placed a hand on Sadie’s shoulder. “Alright Sadie, let’s let them get in the door,” he said with a smile and a wink for me. He motioned for us to come in.

  Mr. Ramsey lightly put his hand on my back to make me go forward into the house. The front door led right into an open living room. It was big, but cozy looking. Sadie went to go sit on one of the couches with Hector and the blond woman.

  The tall man squatted down so he could be eye level with me, but also making sure not to get in my personal space. “My name’s Phil and that pretty lady over there on the couch is Tess.” He pointed over at Tess, who smiled and waved.

  “They’re your new mom and dad!” Sadie blurted out with a big smile.

  Phil gave her a patient smiled and chuckled. “You can call us Phil and Tess until you feel comfortable calling us Mom and Dad.”

  I just stood there, looking at these people telling me that they were my family. They were perfectly nice people, and their intentions were all well-meaning and positive, but I couldn’t let go of the feeling I was missing something … something important.

  “Wow. She really doesn’t talk at all, does she?” Hector asked, amazed.

  “She’s just the strong, silent type,” Phil said, with a smile and a wink.

  “Can I ask her?” Sadie asked excitedly. Phil and Tess nodded in assent, so she went on. “We were wondering if you’d like the name Kira. I got it from a book I’ve been reading. The character is brave and smart; and we all agreed it was a pretty name. What do you think… do you like it?”

  I nodded my head. One name was as good as another; it didn’t really matter to me.

  Mr. Ramsey said that he had to get going, and gave my shoulder a squeeze. He said that he would keep in touch to see how things were going, and then he waved goodbye to everyone and left.

  Sadie hopped off the couch, grabbed my bag from the floor, and told me to follow her. She was going to show me my new room. Tess gave me an encouraging nod, while Sadie took my hand and guided me up stairs. “The bathroom’s there,” she said pointing to the left. “Hector’s room is there,” she pointed to the right. “Mom and Dad’s room is at the end of the hall, and our room is right here.” She opened the second door on the left.

  It was a big room with two beds. On the left was one with a purple cover, and on the right was one with a pink cover. In between the beds was a large bay window with a window seat full of colorful pillows. Hanging down from the ceiling, right in front of the window, was a mobile of crystals of all different shapes and sizes. They refracted colorful light all over the room. It was beautiful. I didn’t know why, but it brought me a sense of peace and comfort.

  “You like the crystals? That was Mom’s idea. I love my rainbows…well, our rainbows now,” Sadie said with a smile. She put my bag on the purple bed. The bed frame was wrought iron that was painted white. It looked old and had brass knobs at the corners of the bed. I walked up and put my hand on one of the knobs to feel the cool smoothness of the metal.

  “This is your bed. Do you like it? Mom found it at an Antique shop in town, she loves old things. I hope you like purple. We didn’t know what colors you liked so we guessed. Do you like purple?”

  I nodded to make her happy.

  She skipped over the wooden floor to the other side of the room. There was a floor-to-ceiling mirror panel on the wall at the end of her bed, with a wooden bar running across it. “This is my dancing bar. I’m going to be a professional dancer when I grow up, so Dad installed it for me so I can practice at home.” She did a spin on one foot, while holding her arms out in front of her.

  “You showing off already, Sadie?” Hector teased as he walked into the room with a smirk.

  Sadie stopped spinning and stuck her tongue out at him. “You’re just jealous you can’t do this,” she said while lifting her leg up to her head.

  “Can too,” he replied, while awkwardly pulling his leg up and dramatically falling over, making them both laugh. It looked like they had a fun, easy relationship, where they could playfully tease without getting upset.

  Hector looked up at my blank face, from where he still sat on the floor. “Really…nothing? Not even a giggle?” He got up and patted my shoulder. “That’s alright, we’ll work on it.” He gave me a reassuring smile.

  “Let me show you the closet,” Sadie said, and then walked over and opened the closet doors. “The top half is my stuff. And the bottom half is yours. It’s mostly my old clothes, but don’t worry it’s all in good shape. And we got some new stuff for you too, it’s all super cute.”

  I didn’t care about clothes, but it seemed like she did, so I nodded to show her I understood the clothes on the bottom were mine.

  “Mom and Dad said we should take her outside and show her the backyard,” Hector said.

  So they guided me down the stairs and back through the living room, through the kitchen where Tess and Phil were cooking something, and out through the screened-in back porch to the back yard.

  The sunlight dappled through the leaves of a magnolia tree that stood on the left side of the porch and a large live oak on the right. The oak held an
old tree house and it had a long branch with a swing hanging down from it. Straight off the back porch was a patio paved with old discolored bricks, which led to and encircled a fountain. It was one of those large, old-fashioned fountains. It had a sculpture of cherub holding a fish that spat out a stream of water into a basin that overflowed into a larger basin that held large goldfish and aquatic plants. The left side of the yard, past the brick patio, in a nice sunny patch, was dedicated to Tess’s garden; full of various fruits, vegetables, and fragrant herbs. To the right, the patio extended towards a detached garage. There was a wisteria-covered trellis over the walkway between the garage side door and a door that led into the kitchen. A gate was at the end of the walkway that led out onto the driveway. Towards the back of the yard, past the fountain, was a plot of grass with a small soccer goal on one side and a trampoline on the other. Tall hedges and flowering bushes lined the property, making it feel like their own magical garden, separated from the rest of the world.

  Hector ran to the trampoline – the kind with netting around it so kids wouldn’t fly off. Sadie grabbed a hula-hoop and said she was trying to beat the world record of 115 rotations. I ignored both of them and went straight for the fountain. I sat on the edge, and let the water flow through my fingers. The combination of the sounds of the water and the birds singing in the trees, and the way the light moved through the leaves and refracted off the water – it filled me with a peaceful contentment. The radiant light coming from the fish made them look like they were glowing underwater. Some of the large blossoms from the magnolia tree had fallen, and were now floating on the surface, offering up their heavenly scent. It was all so beautiful. Roosevelt came and sat beside me, just happy to be by my side. I took comfort from his undemanding presence. That was our favorite spot.”

  Chapter 4

  “The next couple weeks I went through the motions and did what I was asked, but I still couldn’t connect with the world around me.

  Then one morning, after a cooling rain the night before, we all went into the backyard. Tess was working in her garden, Hector was doing tricks on his skateboard, and Sadie was doing flips on the trampoline. I was sitting in my usual spot on the edge of the fountain, feeling in tune with the natural sounds and energies around me… until I heard a beautiful melody coming from somewhere beyond the hedges. It felt as though the music was calling to me. It seemed to promise answers to questions I didn’t know how to ask.

  I followed the sound, and Roosevelt quietly followed behind me through the hedges into the next yard over. A large ground floor window was open on the back of a cream-colored house. Through the window I could see a woman playing the piano. She was so engrossed in her playing that she didn’t even notice Roosevelt and I as we made our way across the yard and onto the wrap-around porch to stand outside the open window. The music was enchanting, and felt rooted in place.

  The woman was younger than Tess, and seemed somehow familiar – yet not – with her mocha skin, dark hair, and green eyes. Listening to her play made my eyes start to water, and a tear slipped down my cheek.

  The woman finished the song, and then jumped in surprise to see Roosevelt and I standing outside her window. “Oh my goodness!” She placed a hand to her chest, and then let out a nervous laugh. “You scared me, Sweetie,” she said with a musical, southern accent. Then she noticed Roosevelt sitting beside me. “Is that the Riley’s dog?”

  I nodded, and then she noticed my tear streaked face.

  “Oh Sweetie, what’s wrong? Are you lost?”

  I shook my head no. I pointed to my ear and then to the piano.

  “You heard me playing and it made you cry?”

  I nodded and pointed to the piano again. I wanted to hear more.

  Just then we heard Tess and the kids yelling “Kira!” They had finally noticed that I was gone.

  Roosevelt, recognizing his owners’ voices, barked a couple times in response. Sadie burst through the hedges looking around frantically. Then she noticed us on the porch. “Kira! There you are.” She blew out a relieved sigh before she called back through the hedge, “I found her Mom! She’s over at the Jacobs’s house!” She ran up the porch steps and scratched Roosevelt behind the ears. “Hi, Mrs. Jacobs, this is my new little sister, Kira. She doesn’t talk, so when she wandered off we were scared we’d never find her.” She knelt down and saw my wet face. “Kira, are you hurt? Why are you crying?” She wiped my tears away with her thumbs.

  “She said…well, mimed…that she heard me playing the piano and it made her cry.”

  No, I wasn’t crying. My eyes just welled up with the emotions the music made me feel, but whatever. I just wanted to hear more.

  Tess and Hector came around to the back of the wrap-around porch from the front.

  “I apologize, Rachael. She usually doesn’t wander off like this,” Tess said as she came over to the open window.

  “No problem, Tess. I had the windows open to take advantage of the beautiful weather, and I guess I pied piper-ed her over here with my piano playing.” They both laughed, and then Tess held out her hand to me, so she could take me back home.

  I couldn’t go home yet, I wanted to hear more music. I shook my head frantically and pointed to the piano.

  “Come on, Kira. Let’s go back home,” Tess coaxed.

  I didn’t move.

  “It’s okay, Tess. She can come in and see the piano if she wants. It’s not a problem,” Rachael invited.

  “Mom, the music made her cry. It’s the most emotion I’ve seen her show about anything,” Sadie said, trying to plead my case for me.

  “Alright, if it’s not an imposition…” Tess relented.

  Rachael shook her head, to say that it wasn’t.

  “Okay. Hector, will you take Roosevelt back home please?”

  He nodded, and ran the dog back home.

  Rachael came to the back door and let us in. Then she took us to the room with the piano. I walked over to it, and then looked over to Rachael to see if I could touch it. She nodded and told me to go ahead. I started on the far right, and walked my fingers down every key to the end on the far left setting all the notes to memory. Rachael came over and sat on the bench, and then played Hot Crossed Buns and asked if I could play that. I played it easily. Then she played Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, and I was able to play that note for note as well. She looked over at Tess in amazement, and then played the Happy Birthday song, and again I was able to play it without a problem. “She’s got a natural talent, and a great ear for notes. That’s amazing!”

  Then, with one hand I started playing a song I had heard Sadie dancing to earlier. Once I knew how all the notes sounded, it was simple. The music soothed my soul and freed my mind in a way nothing else had. I was filled with happiness, so I smiled.

  Tess gasped and brought her hand to her mouth, as her eyes misted with happy tears.

  Sadie explained to Rachael, through her dimpled smile, “She’s been with us for about two weeks, and this is the first time we’ve ever seen her smile.”

  Tess knelt down and hugged me. I let her, as I continued to plunk out notes on the piano. Hector ran onto the back porch and peered through the window.

  “Hector, Kira smiled!” Sadie squealed in excitement.

  “Really! That’s awesome, Kira!” He gave me two big thumbs up.

  Tess stood back up. “Looks like we need to get this girl a piano.”

  “I can give her lessons if you want, and teach her how to read music,” Rachael offered.

  “That sounds like a great idea. How much would you want for the lessons?”

  Rachael waved a dismissive hand. “You don’t have to pay me. I’ll give you a neighbor discount, and only ask for some goodies from that famous garden of yours every now and then.”

  Tess agreed, and then asked me if I would like to come back and take lessons from Miss Rachael. I nodded emphatically. So, Tess and Rachael arranged for me to come over on Friday afternoons for my lessons. Then we said our goodbyes, a
nd went back home.

  Tess made me promise never to wander off like that again and that I must let someone know if I wanted to go somewhere. I promised that I would, and that was that.

  After the emotional high of the ‘piano incident’ came down, I went back to being distant. I was still holding on to that feeling of not belonging. My heart was still stubbornly yearning for that mysterious something.

  At night I was having nightmares, and I would wake up in a panicky sweat. I was never able to remember what they were about, only that I was running away from something. Sadie was a deep sleeper, so I never woke her up when I would jerk awake and take in big gulps of air to try to calm myself down. It was always hard for me to get back asleep, so I’d sneak downstairs and go into Phil’s office. We weren’t supposed to go in there, but he had two walls of bookshelves filled with all kinds of books. I’d already gone through most of the history and mythology books, and the first two volumes of his Encyclopedia Britannica set. On the night that I started on the third volume, I heard Phil’s soft voice coming from the doorway, “So, you’re the one who’s been sneaking in here.”

  My head snapped around and I froze in fear.

  He gave me a sympathetic smile and sat down on the small couch near the door. “It’s alright, sweet pea. No need to be scared, you’re not in trouble. You’ve been taking real good care of my books, and I appreciate that.” He looked over at the book I was reading by the window. “Are you reading the encyclopedia in the dark?” he chuckled.

  I shrugged my shoulders as he turned on a lamp sitting on the side table by the couch. I didn’t understand why he was puzzled. I had plenty of light coming from the moonlight shining through the window, and the radiant light coming off the potted plants on the window sill.

  “Have you been having trouble sleeping?” he asked, concerned.

  I nodded and looked down at my feet.