Transcendent

by Lisa Beeson

  One morning we were running late and I got dressed quickly, not realizing until it was too late that I had two different socks on. I was wearing long khaki pants, so it wasn’t until I sat down that it was noticeable. But of course the mean kids noticed right away, and started pointing and laughing. It didn’t bother me that much; I was used to kids thinking I was strange. But then a scrawny kid with thick glasses, sitting diagonal from me, turned around and gave me a smile and said, “I like them.”

  Then Miranda – the girl who had teased me the first day about coloring auras – turned to him with an ugly look on her face, “You would, Nate.”

  He chose to take the snide remark as a compliment, and gave me a ‘thumbs up’ to show I got his seal of approval. I smiled back and I knew then that I’d wear different socks from then on. It was my quiet rebellion. Those who cared didn’t matter, and those who mattered didn’t care.

  Nate and I were friends from that moment on. At recess he introduced me to his best friend Ainsley; they had been neighbors since birth and friends for just as long. I liked Ainsley right away. Her mass of unruly red hair, mischievous brown eyes, and smiling face full of freckles were the first things I noticed. Nate told her about my socks and how that was kind of my ‘thing’. She asked if she could see, so I showed her. One had polka dots and the other had stripes, and she gave me a big toothless jack o’ lantern grin, and said “Cool, you wanna go on the swings and play superheroes?”

  I said, “Sure,” and from then on we were all Best Friends Forever. I was the yin to Ainsley’s yang, and Nate was the glue that kept us all together. Dad called us the Three Musketeers; and to us, that’s exactly what we were. Together we stuck up for the little guy, and quietly rebelled against the tyranny of the ‘cool kids’.

  And that’s how it was. I had a ‘normal-for-me’ childhood full of the love of family and friends.”

  Chapter 6

  “Fast forward seven years to last September. That’s when the strange things started happening.

  It was a Friday afternoon, which meant piano lessons with Rachael. So I walked over and knocked on the front door. I knew she was home, because her car was in the driveway, but I had to knock three times before she came to the door. And when she did I could tell she had been crying, her nose was red, and her eyes were puffy. “Oh, Kira… I completely forgot today was Friday. Come in, come in.”

  “Are you sure? I can just come back later.” I didn’t feel right imposing if she didn’t feel all right.

  “No, no, come in...” she waved me in and pointed towards the piano. “There should be a Rachmaninoff concerto on top of the piano. You can start working on that.” She pulled a tissue from her pocket and dabbed her eyes.

  I could feel the pain and sorrow flowing off her, and it broke my heart. “Rachael, what’s wrong? Why are you so upset?” Rachael had been my friend and teacher for a long time, and I cared deeply for her.

  She tried to give me a brave smile. “I’m sorry, Kira. I’m a right mess.” She let out a shaky laugh, and I gave her a hug; trying to comfort her.

  “What’s wrong? Tell me,” I urged.

  “Well…” she started as she walked over to the chair by the piano. I sat down on the piano bench and turned to face her.

  “…I guess I can talk to you about this. You’re mature for your age, and I have to vent to someone…”

  I nodded at her encouragingly.

  “Okay, Ben and I have been trying to have baby for awhile. And I was okay with it not happening right away, but when months turned into years we started getting worried. We tried eating healthier, taking vitamin supplements, acupuncture; nothing helped. We finally went to a fertility doctor on Wednesday to get tested.” She cleared her throat and blew her nose before she continued. “The doctor called this morning with the results. Kira, It’s my fault we can’t have a baby. I have blockages in my fallopian tubes,” she explained. “I know I shouldn’t, but I feel like such a failure as a woman. I feel like I’m letting Ben down.” She burst into tears again.

  My heart ached for her. What could I possibly do or say to ease her pain? I didn’t want to tell her it was okay, because to her it wasn’t. Nothing about this was okay. I had read that tubal blockages could be treated with surgery, or they could do in-vitro fertilization, but both options were costly and didn’t have 100% success rate. And I could have told her that Ben loves her and would never feel like she failed him, but she didn’t want to hear that from her twelve-year old neighbor; only Ben could tell her that.

  So I did what I always did when I needed to think things through or find some peace; I played the piano. I didn’t play a specific song; I just started playing and let the music move through me.

  I played to take away Rachael’s sadness and regret, I played to let her know how much I cared for her, and that I wanted to bring her peace. The melody was soft and haunting. It was a song I had never heard before, but felt deep within me. I poured myself out as I played, feeling all my energy flowing straight to her. It felt like something had awakened inside me, a well of inner light and energy that had been hiding in a deep recess of my soul, and now it flowed through me and I felt connected to everything around me. I closed my eyes and imagined the blockages in her body being chipped away by the tonal vibrations of my song. Slowly, I could almost feel the obstructions disappear with every chord. And when I felt like I was almost empty, I stopped playing.

  I felt like I had run two marathons back to back. I was breathing hard, and I had to practically force my eyes open. What had just happened?

  I looked up and saw Rachael staring at me incredulously. “Kira that was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.” Tears streamed down her face again, but these weren’t of sorrow, they were of wonder and awe. “It was like I could feel it running through me. You are so incredibly talented. Thank you for sharing that with me.” She got up to give me a hug, so I got up too and we stood there holding on to each other.

  I stepped back and wiped the tears from my eyes. “Rachael, I know you’re going to be a wonderful mother someday. If not the way you planned, then maybe you and Ben could make a parent-less kid like I was feel so blessed to be a part of your family. But please, don’t give up.”

  “Oh, Kira...” Her lip quivered as she held back a sob. “We’d be the luckiest parents in the world if we had a kid half as awesome as you.” She hugged me one more time, and when I was sure she was going to be okay, I went back home. I stopped by the kitchen and scarfed down two bananas before I told Mom that I was totally beat. Then I went upstairs to take a nap before dinner. I didn’t wake up until the next morning.

  At the beginning of November, Rachael and Ben came over to announce that they were pregnant. Rachel explained that about a week ago she was feeling off, so she went to the doctors and he said she was about four weeks pregnant. She had told the doctor that that was impossible, because her tubes were blocked. So they did an in-vitro ultrasound, and it was like the blockages were never there. Ben said it was their own little miracle. Then he put his arm around Rachael’s shoulders and kissed her on the head. While she hugged him back, she looked over at me and gave me an elated smile. I tried to smile back, but it felt like all the blood had drained from my head.

  All I could think was: Did I really do this? I remembered imagining the blockages disappearing, but I couldn’t let myself believe that I had anything to do with it. I remembered the well of inner energy that had flowed from me, but that was impossible! It was just a song! So I did what most people do when they can’t accept the truth, I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried to convince myself it didn’t happen.

  After that, things went back to normal for the most part. School was the same. I was on the dive team and doing pretty well. Jack came home for Thanksgiving with his girlfriend, Stacey. Then, after a pleasant holiday they went back to Atlanta where they lived.

  It was about mid-December when Sadie and I were downtown Christmas shopping. We were walking towards a shop we knew
Mom liked, and as we came up to the doors I saw an old buffalo nickel on the ground. I had a knack for finding odd things, and buffalo nickels were pretty rare; they were only minted from the years 1913 to 1938. As I stopped to bend over and pick it up, I heard a street performer singing and playing guitar down on the corner of the street. There was something about his playing that drew me in.

  I put the nickel in my pocket, forgetting about it instantly, and told Sadie to go ahead in and that I’d follow her in a minute; I just wanted to hear the guy play for a bit. She looked hesitant about leaving her little sister out alone on the street, but I assured her that I wasn’t going anywhere else, and I’d only be five minutes. She was about to say no, but just then her phone rang. It was one of her best friends with “big news”, so she held up her hand to indicate I only had five minutes before she would come after me. I nodded and gave her a thumbs up.

  I quickly walked over to the old black man sitting on an upside down bucket, strumming on a much-loved acoustic guitar. His knuckles were big and gnarled, but he played with a grace that came from years of experience. He had a strange fractal scar that ran up his neck, past his temple and into his hairline. The whiskers on his face and the hair on his head were a mixture of peppered-grey and streaked with white. His skin was a rich dark brown with wrinkles that spoke of a long happy life. Though the day was overcast, he wore dark sunglasses, like the kind blind people tend to wear.

  Since it was around Christmas time, people were feeling pretty charitable. So even though no one was really listening, a smattering of people would drop some coins into his case as they walked by. He wasn’t the most skilled musician I’ve heard, but there was something about how he played with an open heart, that made me want to listen. His radiant energy seemed bright with the joy he found in playing, and he had a natural charisma about him that made me want to join in his happiness. As I stood there, a couple of other people stopped to listen as well. Then a couple more, and soon there was a small crowd around him swaying and clapping to the music.

  When the song was over we all applauded. And as the crowd dispersed his case was filled with a lot more bills then it had been before. The man smiled graciously and thanked the people for listening as they filed away. I was about to drop a dollar in his case as well, when he called out, “Hey, you there. You’re the reason those people stopped to hear me play, ain’tcha?”

  I stopped; what was he talking about? “Uh… no sir, I don’t think so.”

  He pursed his lips. “Now old Walter may be blind, but he ain’t a fool. You made their souls brighter. Don’t deny it.” He pointed an accusing finger at my general direction.

  “No sir, really... I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Though, I had vaguely noticed the group’s energies kind of meld together and become a bit brighter, I wasn’t going to admit that. I’d sound crazy.

  “What’s your name, girl?”

  “Kira…”

  “Well, Kira, back in ‘72 I got hit by lightning while I was out fishing…” He pantomimed the lightning bolt with his finger, wiggling down until it hit his temple. “…God saw fit to take away my sight. Now I can’t see a dang thing I could before I got struck, but he didn’t leave me in the dark. Oh no, he awakened in me the gift to see souls.” Since I didn’t walk off or straight out call him crazy, he continued on. “It’s like a soft glow that fills people up and surrounds them, and it changes with their emotions.” He heard the sharp intake of breath I made with my nose. He smiled knowingly and then pointed, “You see them too, don’tcha?”

  I let out a soft, “yes.”

  “Ha! I knew it!” he exclaimed as he slapped his knee. His brow furrowed in concentration. “Usually the ones with gifts have brighter souls, but I can’t seem to see yours at all…” he mused, rubbing at his bristly chin.

  I had always wondered why I didn’t emit radiant energy like everyone else, and now he had noticed my lack of light as well. Except, he said what he saw were people’s souls. So what did that mean about me? “Are you saying that I don’t have a…soul?” I asked worriedly.

  “No, no, sweet girl. Everyone has a soul, even the Dark Ones. Yours just seems to be covered up, like you’re wearing a cloak. In fact, I didn’t even know you were there till the other people’s souls started coming together and getting brighter; and it seemed to be coming from a strange girl-shaped void smack dab in the middle of it.” He smiled, “Thanks to you, I’m going to treat myself to a nice dinner tonight.”

  A girl-shaped void…was that what I was? How was I able to affect the other people’s energy like that? “You said that even the ‘Dark Ones’ have a soul, what did you mean by that?” I asked him.

  His face got serious, and he frowned. “You stay away from them, you hear me. They are evil incarnate, and the last thing this world needs is you juicing up their vileness, and spreading it around. You stay pure and continue spreading the light, like you do.”

  I stood there confused. How was I supposed to spread light instead of darkness when I didn’t even know how I did it in the first place?

  Sadie walked up and said we needed to go buy Mom’s gift. She grabbed my hand to lead me away towards the store, but I still had the dollar in my other hand from when I was going to drop it into Walter’s case. “Hold on, I want to give him this.” I waved the bill in the air, to show her.

  “You keep your money, child. Just you listening and enjoying my music is payment enough for me. You go on with your sister.” He motioned with his hands for me to go.

  But I felt like I had to give him something, if not for the song then for letting me know I wasn’t the only one who saw differently from everyone else. I put the dollar back in my pocket and felt the old buffalo nickel I had found on the ground earlier. I took it out of my pocket and inspected it. The date was barely visible, but I was able to make out 1914. It wasn’t much, but a hundred year old coin was at least something. I pulled away from Sadie, and took Walter’s hand and placed the coin into it. “It’s just a buffalo nickel I found, but please keep it. Think of it as a Christmas gift.”

  He smiled, and then put the coin into his shirt’s front pocket and patted it. “I’ll keep it close to my heart. Thank you.”

  I squeezed his shoulder in response, and then Sadie motioned for me to come on. So I followed her back towards the store. As we walked away Walter called after us, “You keep spreading the light, child, you hear?”

  I smiled, then called back, “You too, Walter... Merry Christmas!” Then we walked into the store and continued with our day.

  With the Holidays being so busy, I didn’t have a lot of time to really think over what Walter had told me, but it was always in the back of my mind. Were the things that set me apart from everyone else considered ‘gifts’? He had said that he had the gift to see souls. At first I thought his energy was brighter with the joy of playing music, but maybe he was just naturally brighter since he was gifted. Maybe I wasn’t so different after all. Maybe there were gifted people all over and I just hadn’t noticed because I didn’t know what I was looking for. I wondered what other ‘gifts’ there could be besides what Walter and I had.

  I had never seen anyone who could be considered a ‘dark one’, and from Walter’s description I hoped I never did.

  When school started back up again, I made sure to keep an eye out for people with ‘gifts’.

  After about a month or so, I only saw one person who was a teeny bit brighter than anyone else, and that was Tavian Johnson. He was in the senior class with Sadie, and an All-State track champion. He was getting a full scholarship to Auburn University for track and field. So, maybe his ‘gift’ was athleticism. But other than him, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

  At the beginning of March, Mom took me antique shopping while we waited for Sadie’s dance rehearsal to be over. We went into Adelina’s Antiques, a store we’ve been to many times over the years, but this time it felt different.

  The bells tinkled over the door as we walked in. Marg
ery greeted us from behind the checkout counter. She told us that they had just got in a bunch of stuff from an estate sale. “It came from an old Savannah family. Their lineage died out, and there were all kinds of things the family collected over the centuries. Some things were even from back in the old pirate days. Isn’t that exciting?” she exclaimed. Margery was nice, but she seemed to take things over the top sometimes to get sales. So I didn’t take what she said too seriously.

  We perused around the store. Something would catch my eye now and then, but nothing that I’d buy. I was passing by a pile of books, when I felt it. It was like a magnetic pull. I didn’t even know what was drawing me in until I moved some tarnished silver candle sticks out of the way. It looked like an old wooden jewelry box, about the size of a small shoebox. Intricate carvings of exotic plants and animals adorned the outside, and there was a silver clasp on the front that was tooled into a scroll pattern.

  I’ve felt drawn to little trinkets I’ve found before, like the buffalo nickel I gave Walter, but nothing compared to the strength of the pull coming from this box. I held out my hand, almost afraid to touch it. I almost expected lightning bolts to shoot out and shock me or something like that. I cautiously put my hand on it and…nothing. No lightning bolts, not even a static shock. I let out the breath I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding in. I was being stupid, so I picked up the box with both hands, just to prove to myself that I could.

  The wood carvings were beautifully done. There were even colorful glass gems that served for the eyes of the animals. Excitedly, I undid the clasp to look inside. Disappointment hit me like a brick when I saw there was nothing inside except for the red velvet lining. But it was still beautiful, and I still felt that inexplicable pull towards it, so I checked the price tag stuck on the bottom.