Always on My Mind

by Deirdre O'Dare

  When Garth collected his wits enough to follow, he found Peter with a big cup, sluicing cold water over his body. The evening was warm, but a light breeze, coupled with the cool water, brought a distinct chill. It was more effective than a cold shower.

  Peter gathered their clothes and led the way back to the house, unconcerned about his nudity.

  Following him, Garth watched the flex and shift of the muscles in the other man’s buttocks and legs, marveling at the power and energy displayed there. It never occurred to him to ask where they were going. For a moment, he didn’t even wonder if there was anyone else in the house. The fact he had seen or heard no one didn’t mean there wasn’t anybody there. Surely Peter had household staff, whether they were currently around or not. Then he hoped they would not run into anyone. He wasn’t used to parading around without a stitch on.

  The door through which Peter passed at the end of a wide hall led to what was obviously his bedroom. More of a suite than a simple room, it held separate areas divided by groupings of massive log furniture. There was a bookcase here and a screen there, a half-wall topped by a counter, a partition holding paintings by native artists and a couple of traditional rugs draped across it. A huge, solidly built bed dominated one corner of the space. Peter strode to it and flipped back the star quilt coverlet to reveal white sheets beneath.

  “Now is the proper time for the things you were thinking about in the lodge. Join me?”

  Garth swallowed, suddenly abashed at the blatant invitation and eagerness in Peer’s dark eyes.

  When he didn’t respond, Peter reached out and grasped his hand, drawing him forward and then giving him a quick shove that toppled him onto the bed.

  Peter laughed, amused by the shock Garth knew had to be painted on his face. “So the powerful lawyer isn’t used to someone else taking charge, eh? Well, get used to it. I take what I want, when and how I want it.”

  With that he followed Garth onto the bed and settled straddling his legs, just above the knees. That put him face to face with Garth’s erection, which revealed no doubts or misgivings about the situation.

  “I owe you a blowjob, and you’re getting it whether you want it or not. I’d say Willie here is more than willing, whatever the rest of you says.”

  Garth could not deny the truth of Peter’s observation. He could only lie there and take what was given to him. With Peter’s butt firmly planted on his thighs, he was not going to go anywhere without a real struggle. Still weak from the steam bath and the shock of the chill afterwards, he wasn’t sure he could shake off the other man if he tried. To save face, he wouldn’t try.

  Peter grasped Garth’s cock with a hand larger, stronger, and much more sure than the boy Peter had, years ago. Though no longer the novelty it had been then, Garth still felt the clasp in every cell of his being. The heat and power of Peter’s hand seemed to engulf him. Then Peter began to stroke him, long and slow at first, from the base of his cock to the groove beneath the head.

  Garth shut his eyes, bit down on a deep moan of delight. It felt so good, so bloody damn good.

  After about five strokes, Peter dipped his head and swirled his tongue around the tip of Garth’s prick, tasting him, teasing him with fast, wet licks. Garth could only buck his hips a slight bit with Peter’s weight on his legs, but buck he did. Peter laughed again, deep in his chest. Then he dove down over Garth’s throbbing length, taking much more of it into his mouth than Garth would have guessed possible. This time he could not silence the groan welling up from the root of his cock, the tight sacs beneath it and the depths of his groin. All sensation and awareness centered there now, as if the rest of him had ceased to exist.

  The pressure built, the tension coiled in a tightening spiral heading for the inevitable explosive eruption. “I’m gonna come,” Garth gasped. This time it would not be on Peter’s belly, but in his mouth. I hope he doesn’t mind or…The thought went unfinished as he ejaculated in a fierce spasm that shook his whole body. Peter did not release him until the final spurt. He’d overcome any fussiness about jizm, it seemed. He didn’t even spit.

  Before Garth could regain enough control to move, Peter grasped him by the hips and literally flipped him over, like one would turn a bag of feed or bundle of blankets. Garth found himself face-down, his head between two thick pillows, and his ass high, supported by Peter’s hold. In self-defense, he drew his legs up to get his knees under him. That was clearly what Peter had in mind. He reached past one of Garth’s shoulders into a cubby at the head of the bed and grabbed a tube.

  Moments later, Garth felt the cool, oily contents trickle down the crack of his ass as Peter squirted it there and rubbed it down around his anus. He was ready when the head of Peter’s heavy cock nudged into him, stretching and filling him in spite of the easy slide in. Garth groaned again. The sensations were so intense they were almost painful, yet it was a pleasure-pain, one he’d never tire of feeling. Were Peter any bigger, it would be more pain than pleasure, but as it was, everything seemed just right. Garth surrendered to the powerful strokes of Peter’s fucking, losing himself in the rhythm of it. He felt the other man come, the last powerful thrust and the spurt and throb in his depths. Then they both collapsed.

  Garth lay still under the weight of Peter’s body, almost crushed and yet absorbing the sensation of being totally possessed. How many times had he visualized something like this? How many times had he wished and wanted and wondered if the two of them would ever be together?

  The reality was so much greater than his dreams and visions there was no comparison. To have this, he thought he could tolerate almost anything. He knew he might not ever have Peter completely to himself, but maybe having part of him was better than not having him at all.

  Chapter 3

  The next day, Peter insisted Garth had to go riding with him. Garth was not really comfortable on horseback, but saying no to Peter was only a little easier than turning the tide, so he agreed. They rode up into the hills above the ranch, where Garth had to admit the views were fantastic, and turned back before the midmorning sun got too strong and hot. He was only a little stiff when he dismounted back at the corrals.

  As they unsaddled and rubbed down the horses, Peter looked across at Garth. “Sharon will be out for lunch. I told you I’d try to get her here to talk to you. I think she’s willing to help us out, but it’s up to you to tell her exactly what you need and how shaky a limb she’s got to go out on to do it. I don’t want to see her hurt, but then she’s a grown woman and able to make her own decisions.”

  Garth hesitated, unsure how to frame the question he felt compelled to ask. “Do you have a real relationship with her or was it just a casual thing?”

  Peter shrugged. “Not quite either one. She’s a friend, for the most part. She needs someone to talk to at times, someone who treats her like a person and not just a prop to be used for photo ops and then forgotten until the next occasion. Shilling treats her like shit, and she doesn’t deserve that. This last time I told her she ought to divorce him.”

  Something in Peter’s expression told Garth more than his words, but he went on. “It’d serve the sanctimonious bastard right. He cheats on her all the time, but somehow that never makes the news or even the National Tattler. Sharon’s a good woman, probably too good for the likes of me, but…well, that’s another story. For now, let’s just say she’s a friend. And for your information, I spent the night with her, but we didn’t sleep together. We never have.”

  That stopped Garth in his tracks. He’d had some trouble trying to reconcile the image of Peter with the chilly and distant-looking woman who appeared in the background of many of Senator Shilling’s photos. She never looked happy, a silent, stiff figure standing in the shadow of a flamboyant man. Now he understood a little bit more. Somehow Peter had met and befriended her. The details were probably not important.

  Peter had a kind heart. Garth knew that from his own experience. Peter took in stray, abused animals, tried to help down-and-out m
embers of his tribe, and honestly hated to hurt anything or anyone. He might be heedless at times and hedonistic, but he was not cruel.

  They were walking back to the house from the barn when the sleek, silver-gray Lexus pulled up, edging into the car port beside Peter’s SUV. Garth stood back and let Peter go greet the driver as she stepped out. This was not the Sharon Shilling from the news photos. Her hair was much less blonde, more a soft brown, her dress quite casual and her demeanor far from the stiff, sober look she showed the world.

  Peter grabbed her in an enthusiastic hug. “Hey, lady, I’m glad you could make it. Good to see you.”

  She laughed. “You’re just an overgrown kid, Peter Nightrider, but you’re fun to be around. Maybe that’s why I keep coming back.”

  With a hand at her waist, Peter steered her toward Garth. “I don’t know if you’ve met Garth Talent or not. He’s my attorney, like I told you, and I trust him completely to do all he can to keep your name out of the mud.”

  She smiled as she held out her hand. The shake was firm and almost masculine. “I know you by reputation, Mr. Talent, but not in person. I’m glad to meet you at last.”

  “Please, call me Garth. I’m only Mr. Talent in the courtroom or when I am really trying to intimidate someone. With you, I’m sure it’s not necessary or appropriate.”

  “I don’t suppose you do divorces, do you?”

  He shook his head. “I’ve handled a few, but it’s not my specialty. If you need someone, though, I can give you a couple of recommendations.”

  She laughed, a small, rueful chuckle. “Before this is over I expect I might, but I realized I couldn’t stand by and let Barry railroad Peter for things he didn’t do. He was with me that night, the whole night, and I’m prepared to swear as much before both God and Satan if necessary.”

  “How about your daughter? I understand she was one of the juveniles involved.”

  A shadow swept across Sharon’s fine featured face. “Charli is eighteen, no longer a juvenile, and she’s hardly an innocent, naïve child. She’s been quite the thorn in her father’s side, to be honest, and he’s had to pull a lot of strings to keep her exploits out of the news. He happens to be good at that and quite experienced. He’s been covering his own ass for twenty years well enough.” Her sigh spoke more of the sorrows she bore than her words conveyed.

  “She’s spoiled, no doubt. And just as headstrong and willful as her father. If there was an instigator for whatever went on that night, she was probably the prime mover. Two of the four other girls were not quite eighteen, but they’re all college students and certainly no strangers to sex, drugs and all the excesses of the rock ‘n’ roll world!”

  At that moment, Peter broke in. “I think Delores has lunch ready. Let’s go find out before she gets mad and throws it all out for the dogs.”

  The three of them went in and found chairs at the same small table where Garth and Peter had enjoyed coffee the evening before. Indeed lunch was ready and it was delicious. For a while they kept the conversation casual as they enjoyed the meal.

  Over coffee, Sharon turned back to Garth. “What do you need from me in terms of a statement, a deposition, or whatever? I can put it in writing, come into your office in a few days and be recorded—anything you need, I’m willing to do.”

  “Isn’t it going to make things difficult for you?” Garth had to voice his concern. His respect and liking for this woman had grown rapidly as he’d watched and listened to her. He noticed there were no significant glances between her and Peter, or casual touches that spoke of intimacy.

  She gave him a twisted smile. “Yes, Barry will be livid when he finds out, but perhaps it’s time I put an end to the farce of our marriage. It’s been a sham since shortly after Charli and Conner were born. Charli is eighteen, and Connor will be seventeen next month. We’ve lived in the same house, but more like strangers than spouses all those years. I’ve had enough of it. At least Peter treats me like a person. There’s no way I can let him be sent to prison or even plea bargain a milder punishment. He didn’t do anything wrong!”

  At this Peter did reach out and lay his hand over hers. “He won’t get abusive, will he?”

  A negligent twitch of her shoulder dismissed the notion. “I don’t think so, but if he does, I guarantee he’ll rue the day. I’ll see his political career blown to smithereens if he lays one hand on me. And I’ll warn him as soon as the news begins to leak, as well as remind him I have the power to destroy him if I want to. If he’ll accept a quiet divorce and a reasonable settlement—I won’t ask for the moon—he can go do his thing in peace. And maybe I can find some measure of peace for myself.”

  She had beautiful eyes, Garth realized. He felt no stir of attraction but could acknowledge her beauty. The fact she and Peter were not lovers made that easier. She looked first at Peter and then at him, a sudden and genuine smile blooming, which made her truly lovely.

  “I just had a totally wicked thought. Here I am with two handsome and virile younger men. What if I decided I wanted to experience their attentions for the rest of the afternoon? All the while Barry’s enjoyed his liaisons, I’ve been discrete and mostly celibate. But perhaps neither of you find me attractive…”

  Peter looked at her steadily for a moment. Then his gaze flashed to Garth, something like a question in his expression, or was it even more?

  Oh my God, is he going to do this? Am I going to have to get involved? Please, I can’t go there.

  Pure panic surged through Garth at the idea—the three of them entangled on Peter’s huge bed. It was a vision he could not accept.

  After a moment Peter’s gaze returned to Sharon, and he shook his head. “No, my sweet, I don’t think we can help you. You had no reason or way to know, but we’re both gay. We just found one another again after half a lifetime, and right now we’re pretty well focused on each other.”

  The words so jolted Garth by their unexpected import that he almost lost track of the conversation and of Sharon’s reaction.

  Did he say what I think I just heard? But how about all the tabloid stuff, even the things he said the other night? Can it be he’s been keeping this under wraps for some reason? And does he really mean he’s focused now on me?

  His heart was beating so hard he thought it might lunge out between his ribs.

  A shadow crossed Sharon’s face—disappointment, embarrassment, resignation. Her shoulders slumped. “I know. I’m just not good at this, at being a sexy, exciting woman.”

  Once again Peter reached out to take her hands in his. “No, you’re wrong. You might need some practice but that’ll come. Don’t take it so hard. Don’t let me bring you down—you’re a very sexy, attractive lady, and if you want to try some adventures, there’s at least three guys in my band who’d jump at the chance. I can introduce you, if you’d like. You and I can still be friends, but that’s really all it can be. And we aren’t going to mess that up by silly games.”

  “In other words I’m not one of those gorgeous young blondes. You’re just trying to say it nicely. Be honest, Peter. You’ve always been direct with me before, so don’t stop now.”

  Peter frowned a moment, then his face cleared. “If you were to ask in private any one of those bimbos I’ve been photographed with, she’d tell you I never slept with her. It’s the photo op thing, publicity, part of the image. The gossip was good for their careers and mine as well. That’s all it was about. I don’t actually do women. Never have. Oh, I’ve kept up appearances, but sooner or later the truth will out—or maybe ouch. Now I think it’s time to open the closet door.”

  Sharon nodded then, understanding gradually smoothing across her face. “I believe you. Maybe I should have realized.” Her gaze darted back and forth between them. “The two of you make a…I’m not sure what to call it, but an interesting couple, a study in contrasts, but now that I know, I can see the connection. As for the offer to help me hook up, let me think about that one. It’d be hard with someone I didn’t know and trust.�
� She even managed a smile.

  Garth could not deny a surge of admiration then. She’s got class. I have to give that much to her for sure. He tuned back in to catch Peter’s next words.

  “Take all the time you need. I’ll still be here for you in all the other ways, just like I have been. Friends are blind to everything but what’s in a person’s heart. You don’t see color, religion, sex…and I do consider you a friend.”

  “As I do you.” She exhaled a short sigh. “I think it’s time for me to go.”

  They walked her out to her car together. Peter gave her a kiss on the cheek and held the door while she got in. “You’re going to be all right, Shar. You’re strong and you have right on your side. Hold your pretty head high and let your inner light shine proud. There are men out there who’ll appreciate you, treat you like the regal lady you are, and love you silly. I guarantee it.”

  After the Lexus disappeared around the bend in the road, Peter turned to Garth. What Garth saw in the other man’s dark eyes almost stopped his heart. He stood for a moment paralyzed and finally gasped out his urgent question.

  “Is that true, all you told her? I mean, I thought, well…”

  Peter shot him a crooked grin, then frowned. “Are you calling me a liar?” If Garth had not seen the grin he would have fallen back in shock for Peter’s tone was harsh, hard as cold iron.

  “No, I didn’t mean it like that but…well it’s completely different from everything I’ve heard, and even from what you seemed to be saying before. I don’t know what to think now.”

  “Maybe I can show you then, if words aren’t doing the job.”

  Peter grabbed Garth’s hand and almost dragged him down the hall to the bedroom. He slammed the door behind them with a crash that echoed through the house. Then he turned and grabbed Garth in a fierce embrace.

  “I finally found you again, discovered a chance to go back and rebuild our friendship. Man. I’ve got you in my headlights. There’s no way you’re going to get away now. Since I get a distinct feeling you can be really possessive and I know you value loyalty and fidelity very highly, I can change my ways. Most of that really was just hype, but if I have to let my playboy image go to keep you, hell, it’s already gone.”