by Tia Siren
Grayson had been on me to go out for the last week, so I finally agreed. Tonight was ladies’ night at most of the bars, which was always a huge hit for me. I was going to find someone to go home with and bury myself deep inside. I needed to erase Amber’s face from my brain, and the best way to do that was by replacing it with a new face.
I knew she didn’t want me. William had always been her goal. She said she was confused and all that bullshit, but I knew better. I wasn’t going to wait around and hope and beg for her to choose me. That was stupid and not my style. I was who I was, and if that wasn’t good enough for her, so be it. I had learned a long time ago I was never going to be anyone’s first choice. I knew it and embraced it.
I took one last look in the mirror and felt satisfied with my appearance. It wasn’t like it was all that hard to pick up a woman. We always sat in the VIP section at the clubs or managed to secure a place in the bar that separated us from the rest of the patrons. When we were just out of reach, it made us all that more attractive. They wanted what they couldn’t have.
Tonight, we were headed to our favorite club. It was always a good place to find a lady who was ready and willing for a good time.
“It’s about damn time I saw your ugly mug,” Grayson said in greeting as I sat down on one of the couches. “I almost forgot what you looked like. I haven’t seen your face on any of the local social pages or anything. I was beginning to think you had moved. Or died.”
“I didn’t know you missed me so much. I thought you would enjoy a break from all this so you could have all the ladies to yourself.”
He laughed. “I was getting tired of picking up the slack.”
“I’m here now, and I think I need to make up for lost time. I’m sure the ladies will be happy I’m back.”
Apretty waitress sauntered up the couple steps into our area and quickly took our drink orders. I gave her a healthy tip to keep my drink full at all times. I planned on getting shitfaced and wiping out every memory of Amber. It was the only way I would be able to go on. I had to erase her from my brain. I didn’t even want to think about what the future held should she decide to marry William. There was no fucking way I would stand as the best man in that wedding. I didn’t want to wish them well or any of the standard bullshit.
“What was that rumor I heard?” Grayson asked.
“Rumor?” I asked, finishing my drink and quickly waving my hand to remind the waitress of our deal.
I was going to get drunk. Drunk was my goal.
Grayson smiled. “The rumor about you being engaged.”
I smirked. “It wasn’t a rumor. I was engaged. It’s over, though. It ended a few days ago, and I need to get back into the swing of things.”
“Shit, that has to be a new record for the shortest relationship ever.”
I laughed. “No. Britney Spears still has me beat with her three-day marriage. I was engaged for over a week, or thereabouts.”
“Well, I’m glad you came to your senses. You married is not a picture I ever want to see. Why didn’t you tell me about this mystery woman?”
I shrugged. “It didn’t last long enough for me to tell anyone. It was a momentary lapse in judgment. I’ve recovered.”
“You had a party to celebrate your engagement. Thanks for inviting me by the way.”
“Sorry. I was only given about a two-day notice, and it was my mom’s thing. Trust me, you didn’t want to be there.”
“That’s cool. I was out of town anyway. I bet you’ll recover even better with that pretty little blonde that’s eyeing you like you are a prime cut of beef,” he said, subtly nodding his head toward one of the sharks circling the VIP section.
I shrugged. “I’m in the mood for a brunette.”
I had thought I preferred blondes, but after Amber, I had a new appreciation for long-haired brunettes.
He laughed. “I’ll keep my eyes open. I’m sure we can find you one or two willing candidates.”
As the night wore on, the club filled up. Ladies’ night did not mean only ladies filled the club. There were just as many men sniffing around, looking to take home one of the eligible women. The sea of people gyrating to the sound of an electronic beat had mesmerized me. Combined with the flashing lights, it had put me into some kind of trance. I had been zoning out, downing one drink after another. The more drinks I had, the more my senses dulled.
“Hey, look what I found,” Grayson said a little too loudly, snapping me out of my trance.
I turned and found him coming into the roped-off section with three brunettes. The man had delivered what I’d asked for.
“What do you have there?” I asked with a smile.
“One for you, two for me,” he said with a grin.
One of the ladies sat next to me. “I’m Jess,” she said in a sultry voice.
“Hi, Jess. I’m Harry.”
She smiled. “I’d love to find out for myself.”
I laughed at her stupid innuendo to be polite. I didn’t think it was funny in the slightest. “Maybe later, sweetheart. Let’s get you a drink.”
The woman was pressed against my side. Her hand trailed a line up my leg. I casually moved my leg and handed her a drink, hoping to keep her hands busy. I felt guilty. I couldn’t explain it, but having the woman fondling me and continuously trying to kiss me was making me uncomfortable. It was Amber’s hands I wanted on me, not this woman’s.
Grayson was making quite the spectacle of himself. The two women were practically crawling on him. It was definitely making the section feel a lot smaller.
“Want to get out of here?” Jess asked.
“How about we finish our drinks first?” I said, stalling for time.
She was practically purring against me. “Sounds good, honey.”
I grimaced at the term but pretended I didn’t mind. After another drink, I would probably change my mind.
Right now, all I could think about was Amber. I wasn’t sure when, but at some point, while sitting on the couch with Jess rubbing against me, I had realized I loved Amber. It washed over me. I had never been in love. I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love with someone so quickly, but I knew that was what I was feeling. Every part of me longed for her. My heart ached at the thought of never getting to hold her again or lie in bed and talk after having amazing sex for hours.
“Can we go now?” Jess pouted.
I looked down at her and figured I might as well. I couldn’t have Amber and Jess looked like the next best thing.
“Yep. We’ll grab a cab. My place, okay?”
She smiled. “Yes.”
“See you later,” I said, nodding my head at Grayson as we passed. I wasn’t sure he could see me clearly. He was currently buried under a lot of hair and boobs. I wasn’t sure how the man was going to handle two women but figured he would survive.
I managed to hail a cab quickly. Jess climbed in and practically tried to sit in my lap. I gently pushed her off me. I gave the cabbie my address and sat back. I had thought my apprehensions about taking a woman home would have evaporated by now. They hadn’t. I needed more alcohol.
All too soon, the cab pulled to a stop in front of my building. I hesitated, my hand on the door handle. I turned to look back at her. She smiled.
“Everything okay?” she purred.
“Actually, it is. I’m going to bed. The driver will take you home.”
I gave the cabbie a hundred-dollar bill and got out of the cab.
“Good night, Jess.”
“What!” she screeched. “What are you doing?”
I shut the door and headed inside. I was doing what was right. I had thought going back to my old ways and sleeping around was the answer to getting over Amber. I now knew I’d been wrong. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be with another woman until I knew there was no chance I would ever be with Amber again. I couldn’t risk her dumping me if she thought I was screwing around.
I walked into my apartment and kicked off my shoes, stripping as
I walked to the shower in my bathroom. I had to wash away the smell of the woman who had been draped all over me. It was strange not to be taking a woman home. I didn’t regret it. I was glad I had come to my senses.
I stood under the hot water spray, letting the water sober me up a bit. I was going to fight for Amber. I was going to tell her how I felt. William assumed she would choose him because of what they’d had in the past. That was the past. That was before she had spent time with me. The very fact she was confused was a good sign for me.
She was confused because she felt something for me. I smiled, feeling a great deal of satisfaction. It had happened fast for her as well. I was going to chalk it up to my sexual prowess. I had wowed her into falling in love with me. At least I hoped she was in love with me. Somehow, I had to nudge William out of the way. William wasn’t the man for her. He would never appreciate her fire, that spark that drove her.
William was going to change her, fix her to be the perfect Martin woman who had no opinions and no real self-worth. She was going to be molded into the wife of the future CEO of Martin industries. She would be expected to plan parties, rub elbows with the right people, and be gracious in all situations. The fire that burned within Amber, that made her unique, would be squelched. I was not going to let that happen without a fight. I had to convince her I was the right man for her. I could give her a good life and appreciate her for who she was.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Amber
I walked into the office, not all that surprised to see William was already there. His office door was open.
“Amber,” he called out.
I silently groaned. “Yes?”
“Can you come in here for a second, please?”
“I’ll be right in.”
I almost dreaded what he would say.
“Shut the door, please.”
I closed it and walked in, taking a seat in the chair across from him.
“What’s up?” I asked.
He looked at me for several long seconds. “Have you made up your mind?”
I let out a long sigh. “William, I need time.”
“It’s been several days.”
“That isn’t very long. It’s a big decision, one that affects more than just me. I want to make sure I’m making the right decision.”
He shook his head. “You’re being dramatic. I get it. You want me to pay for hurting you. Stringing this along is your way of paying me back.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not paying you back for anything. This is about me trying to work through some things. I don’t want to make a mistake.”
“Are you insinuating I could be a mistake?”
“No. It isn’t like that. I can’t be with you if I care for someone else. That wouldn’t be fair to anyone.”
He held up a hand. “Enough. I get it. I’ll wait for your decision.”
It wasn’t the response I had hoped for, but it would have to do.
“Thank you. Did you need anything else while I’m in here?”
“No.”
I walked out and shut the door. I knew he was angry. I didn’t want to poke the bear any more than necessary.
William had made himself scarce since our previous conversation, if it could even be called that. Or maybe it was I who made myself scarce. I was still pissed at how he had reacted to an invitation to join me at my parents’ place. It wasn’t exactly a food truck. It was a real restaurant, clean, and they had an excellent reputation. For him to so easily dismiss it offended me.
I was prepared to tell him I was busy for lunch if he did ask. Lunch with William would turn into him pressuring me to give him an answer. I wasn’t ready to give one. I casually glanced at the time and noticed it was almost noon. If William was going to ask me to lunch, he would have done so by now.
I would give him another twenty minutes. If he didn’t ask, then he couldn’t possibly be mad when I left without waiting for him. I hoped he didn’t ask.
“Hi.” Harry’s voice startled me.
I looked up and stared at him. “Harry?”
It was more of a question than a reply. I was so surprised to see him, I was at a loss for words.
“It’s me, in the flesh,” he said with a big smile. “Surprised?”
I nodded. “Yes, I am. Are you here for William? Are you two on speaking terms again?” I asked, having gotten an earful from William after Harry’s impromptu visit.
He had made me feel like he’d caught me cheating on him. I had explained nothing had happened and it was a brief visit, but that hadn’t appeased him. He had wanted me to make a promise that I wouldn’t see or talk with Harry again. I had refused, which had only added further tension to our already strained relationship.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I wanted to see if you’re available for lunch.”
“You did?” I asked, feeling like a complete moron. “Really?”
“Yes. Is that okay? Do you have plans? I understand if you do.”
I shook my head and then smiled. “Actually, no, I don’t. I would love to go to lunch with you. Are you ready to go now?” I asked, anxious to get out of the office before William showed up.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
“I’m ready now. Let’s go,” I said, standing and grabbing my purse.
He looked at me strangely. “You look like you’re about ready to run out of here.”
“I’m hungry.”
I knew he didn’t believe me. That was okay. We both knew the shadow of William hung around the office. It was best if we kept our friendship quiet. I couldn’t imagine he and William were on very good terms at the moment either.
“What are you hungry for?” he asked as we started walking down the street together.
“Anything will work for me. I skipped breakfast this morning,” I said, so happy to be going to lunch with him.
“Works for me. How about sushi?”
I smiled. “Sounds good. Are we going to walk?” I asked, realizing he had passed the parking garage entrance.
“It’s not far. Besides, if we walk, I get to spend more time with you.”
I laughed. “Okay. That works for me.”
“There’s a sushi place a couple blocks up. It’s a nice day, and I figured you would appreciate the fresh air after being cooped up for so long.”
“Thank you, and you’re right. I sometimes forget what season it is. I swear I don’t see the sun at all during the fall and winter months. I’m probably lacking some important vitamin,” I joked.
“Well, I guess I better take you on walks more often. We can’t have you withering away on us. Here’s the place,” he said, grabbing my hand and leading me inside the restaurant.
My heart did a little flip-flop. I had missed his touch. This was what I had longed for the other night with William. I appreciated the way Harry liked to stay connected.
We took our seats, and I looked at him. I found myself studying his face. When he caught me looking, he raised an eyebrow.
“What are you looking at?” he asked in a husky tone.
I shrugged. “You.”
He sighed. “I’ve missed you.”
I smiled. “I’ve missed you.”
“Have you told your parents?” he asked.
I knew exactly what he was talking about. I was embarrassed. “No. I feel kind of stupid.”
He chuckled. “Me either. I mean, my dad keeps telling me he doesn’t believe the engagement is real. I haven’t had the heart to tell them. Wait. That’s not true. I don’t want to tell them because that would require me going there or calling them.”
I smiled. “Has it been rough with the whole William thing?”
He rolled his eyes. “They’re convinced William has ruined the family.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep.”
“Wow, I had no idea. That is intense.”
He shrugged. “Can we not talk about my family?”
I laughed. “I would like that very much.”
“How’ve you been?” he asked sincerely.
“Good. I mean, I did just get out of a really messy engagement,” I joked.
He laughed. “Really? Me too.”
We laughed a little more. I loved that he was so easygoing. I loved that I could laugh and just be me with him. I wanted that. Being around him was easy. There was no worry I was going to say the wrong thing or embarrass him.
“I should be getting back,” I said, checking the time. “I’ve been gone over an hour.”
He nodded. “I’ll walk you back.”
“Thank you.”
We strolled along. He never asked whether or not I had made a decision. He never brought up William. Neither did I. I appreciated him for being there and being my friend and reminding me he was around if I needed him. There were no strings attached with him.
I wanted to talk to him about William hounding me for an answer. I liked talking to Harry. Unfortunately, I couldn’t unburden my soul about this particular problem. It wasn’t fair for me to talk to him about how confused I was or how I had feelings for both of them. Harry hadn’t exactly been all that forthcoming about his feelings. I could be making a complete fool of myself. I was wrestling with a decision I might not have even had the luxury of making.
We paused outside the doors to the building.
“Thank you for lunch,” I said.
“Thank you for agreeing to go with me. I had a good time. I miss hanging out with you.”
I smiled. “Me too.”
We both stood there, staring at each other. I could feel so much happening between us, but neither of us spoke. We didn’t need to. There was a lot I wanted to say though.
“Amber, I want to stay friends. I know things are weird right now, and I’m sure William will have something to say about us spending any time together, but if there’s any way at all, I want to. How much does he know about us?” he asked.