by Tia Siren
I shook my head. “Nothing. He thinks all of it was fake. He knows—” I stopped talking.
“He knows what?”
“He knows that although it was fake, I’m confused.”
“Confused?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“About?”
“You know what.”
“Amber, I don’t want to pressure you. I know you’ve had feelings for William for a while. I’m sorry I complicated everything.”
“It’s okay. You didn’t complicate everything. Well, I mean, you did, but it wasn’t on purpose. It was stupid. It just happened. I don’t think either of us saw it coming,” I said, knowing I was making little sense.
He chuckled. “I feel like we are dancing around something here. Do you want to talk about it? I can pick you up tonight.”
“No. That isn’t a good idea.”
“We could go to a restaurant. No hanky-panky,” he said with a wink.
I laughed. “Well, you and me together, the hanky-panky is hard to avoid.”
That made him laugh. I knew I had inadvertently stroked his ego. My mind flashed to my morning self-pleasuring, and I could feel myself blushing. If the man knew what I had done or had any inkling about the dreams he had given me, things would have been even stranger.
“No pressure. I’ll text you later. If you want to go grab some dinner and talk, we will. If not, I won’t bother you.”
I nodded. “Thank you. You’re not bothering me. I’m glad you came by.”
The urge to kiss him was very strong. I couldn’t. I couldn’t kiss him. He was looking at me with those blue eyes. It was killing me. My heart was torn in two. I had to figure out what I wanted. Harry had never told me how he felt. I hadn’t actually told him how I felt either. We hadn’t talked feelings at all.
“See you later,” I said and headed inside.
I could feel him watching me walk away. I found myself swaying my hips a little more than usual.
“How was your lunch?” William said.
I looked up and found him sitting in my chair behind my desk.
“What are you doing?” I asked, alarmed to see him sitting there.
I quickly glanced around to see if anyone else noticed.
“I came by to see if you wanted to get some lunch. You had already left. That was over an hour ago.”
“Oh, well, lunch took a little longer than I expected. Sorry. Did you need something?”
He stood, straightened his suit jacket, and looked down at me. “No, nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine.”
“Well then, I’ll leave you alone.”
He walked past me before he stopped and turned to look at me. “Lunch with Harry?” he whispered.
I sighed. I should have known he would find out. “Yes. It was just lunch. He stopped by, and I accepted his invitation.”
“I thought you ended things with him,” he said.
“It was just lunch.”
He shook his head. “I can’t have you still seeing him if we’re going to be together.”
I sighed. “We’re not together. Not yet.”
The look on his face was telling. He walked into his office and slammed the door. If I didn’t make up my mind soon, the choice was going to be made for me. William was not a man to wait around. He had told me as much.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Harry
Yesterday had been nice. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed her until I saw her and couldn’t kiss her or wrap my arms around her. I had briefly held her hand and felt like a kid in school holding onto his crush with sweaty palms. It had been a natural response to take her hand. She hadn’t yanked it away. That was a good sign.
Lunch with her had given me hope. I had planned to take her to lunch and tell her how I truly felt. I had been a total coward and backed out at the last minute. This was all new territory for me, and I didn’t quite know how to navigate it. I knew I should just tell her what was on my mind, but I was a chickenshit. I feared being rejected. I was afraid she would laugh at me and think I was ridiculous. She had the older brother eating out of the palm of her hand. Why would she ever mess with me?
That was how I felt, and I knew it was years of conditioning. For so long I had been made to feel unworthy. I was scared to tell her how I felt about her. No, it wasn’t fear of telling her what I felt, but of what her response would be. What if she laughed in my face or got offended? I wasn’t sure I could live with that.
“Hello, Mom,” I answered my phone.
“I’d love to have you come by for dinner,” she said in an overly cheerful voice.
I was instantly on guard. “Why? What’s wrong? I’m not interested in any more of Dad’s proposals.”
“Nothing like that. I think it would be nice for you to come by. We rarely get to see you, and the last couple weeks have been nice having you around,” she explained.
I had a feeling something was up. My mom rarely invited me to dinner. I took a second and realized that wasn’t entirely true. She did invite me over, but I was always busy. I had always turned her down in favor of going out with a woman or jetting around the country to party with Grayson or the other guys. I wasn’t exactly going to win any awards for being a great son.
“Mom, I’m not interested in sitting down to dinner with William. Things are tense between us right now, and I would really rather not get into it.”
She chuckled. “Oh, you two. You are always fighting about one thing or another. You always have since you were little boys.”
“Mom, we’re not little boys, and our fights are over much different reasons. I’m sorry. I’m not ready to sit down to a meal with him yet.”
“That’s fine. He won’t be here anyway.”
“He won’t?” I asked.
“No, dear. I thought you would have known. It’s why I invited you over. I figured you would be all alone tonight as well.”
I was confused. I was alone every night.
“What do you mean, Mom?” I asked, exasperated.
“William and Amber have that business trip. They’ll be gone for the weekend.”
My breath hitched in my throat. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. Amber and William were going away for the weekend? She hadn’t mentioned that yesterday. I guessed she had made her decision. William was a sneaky bastard. I had a feeling he had arranged this trip with the sole intention of getting her away. He was going to wine her and dine her away from the public eye, as usual. Amber was a fool if she couldn’t see what he was doing.
“I forgot,” I mumbled. “I’ll be there. I have to go,” I said and hung up.
I wanted to knock William on his ass. I wanted to shake Amber until she could see what he was doing. He was taking her away for the weekend because he didn’t want anyone to see him with someone who wasn’t befitting of his social standing. I guessed there was also the minor detail that she was still technically my fiancée. The two of them being seen together would certainly let the cat out of the bag.
I stomped around my apartment. I was mad as hell. William was taking her away from the city and me to stake his claim. He was going to persuade her to choose him by plying her with good food and alcohol.
I wasn’t going to let him get away with it quite so easily. I quickly changed and headed to William’s penthouse. I was going to make him tell me his plans for the weekend. The doorman let me up. I stomped into the penthouse, shouting his name.
He came out of his bedroom, grinning from ear to ear.
“Harry, what can I do for you?”
I glared at him. “What are you doing?” I asked.
He looked down at himself. “I’m getting dressed.”
“You know what I mean. You’re taking Amber away for the weekend?”
He smiled. “Oh, that. Yes, I have business in New York, and I need Amber by my side. She has all the details and helps keep me on track. I can’t function without her.”
The way he said it told me he was full of shit. It was the line he had given her to convince her to go with him. Amber would be flattered that she was so valuable and of course jump at the chance to be with William.
I shook my head. “Why are you fucking with her?” I asked.
He chuckled. “I’m not fucking with her. Not yet anyway. I’m sure once I get her settled into a beautiful hotel suite overlooking the lights of Manhattan, that will change.”
A surge of jealousy coursed through my veins. “You’re a pig. Is that all she is to you?”
He shrugged. “No. Not entirely. You need to take a step back, little brother. Amber is mine. I warned you before. She loves me, and she will choose to be with me once I can remind her of what we had.”
I was shaking my head. “You’re not good enough for her.”
“And you are?” He smirked. “She’s going to choose me by the end of our weekend together.”
“Why? What makes you so sure she will?” I hissed.
He was smiling like the Cheshire Cat. “I have my ways. I can be very persuasive. Amber is confused right now. I need to remind her why she fell in love with me in the first place. Once I do that and show her everything I can give her, she will be putty in my hands.”
“You’re crossing a line. She isn’t a prize to be won and then discarded when you get tired of her.”
“We’ll see about that. This is between Amber and I. Just because you were pretending to love her and be engaged to her doesn’t give you any real say in the matter.”
“She’s my friend, and I care about her,” I blurted out.
William raised his eyebrows and smiled maliciously. “You care about her? That’s a new one. How much do you care about her, Harry?”
I wasn’t going to get into a pissing match with him. There was no yardstick to measure who had the most feelings for her. I knew mine were honest and true. I knew he was using her to get back at me. He had said the right words and I had a feeling he did care for her a little, but William would never be able to be happily married to someone like her.
“Just don’t hurt her, William. She’s a good woman.”
He was staring at me, and I knew the second he figured out Amber and I had had more of a relationship than he’d originally thought.
“Picking up my sloppy seconds, are you? Well, I wasn’t finished with this one. I’m taking her back. I don’t want you anywhere near her. When she decides it’s me she wants, you better keep your fucking distance. I won’t have her thinking about you when I’m in bed with her. Stay away from her!” he shouted.
I shook my head. “You don’t deserve her.”
I turned and left, hating that he didn’t respect her. I could see it in his eyes. Getting Amber back was a mission for him. I had a feeling that once he got her and realized he couldn’t break her and mold her into a Tiffany 2.0, he would toss her out the door once again. I couldn’t be her second choice. I wouldn’t be there to pick up the pieces. It would hurt too much.
When I got to my parents’ house, they seemed to be in better spirits. That was a relief. I was in no mood to rehash the broken engagement thing. I knew my own ended engagement announcement was right around the corner. I had a feeling when Amber and William returned from their little romantic getaway, I was going to find myself single once again.
“Are you okay, dear?” my mother asked.
I nodded. “Yes. I just have a lot on my mind.”
She smiled. “Like your fiancée? Her mother and I will be meeting next week to go over some of the plans. You two are going to have a beautiful wedding.”
“Thank you,” I mumbled, not quite ready to tell her not to waste her time.
I looked at the clock on the wall and imagined Amber and William were probably out to dinner. Maybe he had ordered room service and they were eating in their room. The thought of them together was making me ill. I had never been jealous before, not over a woman. I had certainly been jealous of William forever. This was an entirely different feeling.
I did my best to make small talk as we ate. It was a struggle.
“Have you given my idea any more thought?” my dad asked when my mother went to check on dessert.
I shook my head. “Nope, and I’m not going to. It’s not going to happen. Besides, I’m sure your golden boy will come up with something to stay in your good graces. Tiffany isn’t the only eligible woman in Dallas.”
“She’s the only one worthy of our family’s name,” he quipped.
“That’s too bad. I’m not marrying her. I really can’t stand the woman.”
He sighed but didn’t say anything else.
My mother returned and announced dessert was on its way out.
It was almost eight in Dallas, which meant it would be nine in New York. I wondered what William and Amber were doing. Were they in bed? Maybe he was treating her to a night out on the town? Thinking about the two of them together was making me sick.
I got through dessert but was barely able to eat more than a few bites.
“You miss her,” my mom said with a smile. “It’s so good to see you like this.”
“You like seeing me miserable?” I asked.
She giggled. “No, dear. I like seeing you sad because your lady is gone. I can tell how much you care about her. I’m glad you have found a woman you can love and be happy with.”
She looked around the hall and then leaned close. My dad was already in his study. “I know how much pressure we’ve put on you boys to marry the right woman, but it would make me happy if you could marry someone you truly cared about.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Mom. I better be going.”
She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, and I left. I felt like I was letting her down. When it was revealed that Amber and William were together, my mother was going to be more than a little surprised. I just hoped she didn’t hold it against Amber.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Amber
I felt a bit like an escaped prisoner. I had all the blinds closed tight for no real good reason. I wanted to shut out the world. Last night, I had called and canceled on William thirty minutes before we were supposed to leave. If it had actually been a business trip, I wouldn’t have canceled. I loved my job and would have been professional.
It wasn’t business, though. William had shown up to the office yesterday morning and called me into his private domain. He had announced his plans to whisk me away to our special place. He had reserved the same hotel room we had stayed in before. He had said it was us starting over at the beginning and forgetting about everything that had happened over the past six weeks.
Initially, I had been thrilled. I had thought it was exactly what I needed. I needed to be reminded of the man I first fell in love with. Getting away from the city was a way for us to reconnect without anyone watching or pointing fingers. Throughout the day, he had been particularly affectionate. I had been floating through the day, confident in my ability to make a decision. I was leaning toward William. He was who I had wanted before; I just needed to remind myself of those feelings. We hadn’t had time to do that.
I didn’t know when it happened, but as I was packing my suitcase, something changed. I was apprehensive and realized I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to be alone in a hotel room with him. I didn’t want to have sex with him. Visions of Harry kept flashing into my head. I could see the hurt in his eyes when he found out I had been away with William. I could see the anger. I didn’t want to do that to him.
On impulse, I had canceled the trip. William had been irate. I’d hung up the phone, turned it to silent, and closed the blinds. I didn’t want him to come by or call. I needed time to think.
I had just gotten out of the shower when I heard the doorbell ringing, over and over.
“Hold on!” I called out, quickly pulling on my shirt and jeans.
I looked through the peephole and groaned. William was standing there, and he did not look happy.
I opened the door and
looked at him. “What are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you,” he said, pushing the door open and barging in.
“Okay,” I said, closing the door and turning to face him.
He had been very angry last night. I was surprised to see him. I had figured he wouldn’t talk to me for a few days.
“Amber, this has gone on long enough. You need to make a decision. I’m not sure what the problem is. You told me you loved me. I broke off my engagement so I could be with you, and now you don’t know if you want me. Is this because you slept with Harry?”
My mouth dropped open. “What?” I asked in a hoarse tone.
“I know you slept with him. I don’t care. If you want to be with me, I can forgive you for that. But, I need to know now. I’m not going to keep playing these games.”
I took a deep breath and released it. I was relieved he knew about Harry and I. I would have had to tell him eventually if we had tried to make something work between us. That tidbit of information being out in the open was a good thing.
“I’m not trying to play games. My head is just so messed up. I know what I said to you, and at the time I truly meant every word. I know I asked you to leave her so we could be together. I know that, and I can’t explain why I’m hesitant now. I don’t want to hurt you. I do care about you. I just don’t know if it’s the same as it was before everything happened,” I explained as gently as possible.
He shrugged. He was completely unaffected by my words. “I need to know. I’ll give you until Monday to give me your answer.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re giving me a deadline?”
“Yes. You don’t seem to understand how important all this is. I can’t be dangling by a string, waiting for you to make up your mind,” he said as if we were negotiating a business deal.
“So if I don’t give you an answer by Monday, then what happens?” I asked, interested to know what his plan was.
“Then I’ll marry Tiffany.”
My mouth dropped to the ground. “You’ll what?”
“We’ve been talking. She’d like to get back together. If you can’t figure out whether you want me or not, I will go back to Tiffany. I gave you the chance to be with me. The fact that you don’t know if you want me is very telling. You should be jumping at the chance, and yet you are playing some stupid game. You would be lucky to have me, Amber. I’m way above your station in life, and yet I’m willing to be with you. I’m willing to bring you into my world and give you everything you could ever dream of,” he said. “Tiffany, on the other hand, can offer me more than I have. She can give me financial security and open doors for me that no one else can.”