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“What’s his website again? I want to see a picture of him,” she says. I can actually picture her pulling out her iPad. “It was on that sex catalog. I think that’s still in the drawer in the kitchen.”
“It’s Bettergasms.com,” I tell her, knowing I’m going to have to spell it out.
“It’s what?” She giggles and sounds distracted like she’s typing it in.
“Better . . . gasms . . . so g-a-s-m-s dot com,” I spell out.
“Oh my, yes, this is what I remember seeing the first time.” There is a long pause, leaving me wondering if she’s searching for the About Us button or checking out the products. “Oh, he’s definitely a playboy,” she says after finally stumbling across his picture. “I can see why you wouldn’t turn that down, but don’t fall too hard. It’s only a matter of time before a guy like that rips your heart out.”
“I want you to meet him in person. I think you might like him,” I counter, knowing that he would be able to charm her instantly. “You liked Kip, for God’s sake, and he was an asshole.”
“Hey, he was a big, strapping athlete who had a ten-million-dollar, four-year deal,” she says defensively. “Who wouldn’t want that kind of security for their daughter?”
“Yeah, I know. But you’re going to like Rex a lot better,” I inform her just as he comes walking through my office door. “Speak of the devil—he just walked through my door. I’ll call you later.” I lower my phone, a little embarrassed that he heard the tail end of my conversation. I wipe my tear-stained eyes and try to smile. Regardless of what happens in the coming weeks, I’m still hopeful that everything will work out between us.
Chapter 16
Rex
A smile returns to my face after hearing Felicia trying to convince her mother that she’s going to like me. It’s been years since I’ve met someone’s mother. The thought of it takes me back to my sophomore year in college. I was so naïve and innocent back then—in comparison to now, anyway. If I could go back, there are so many things I would do differently. But then, I probably wouldn’t be where I am right now. I pull up a seat on the other side of her desk.
“That was my mom,” she says with an immediate flush in her cheeks. “Based on your picture, she assumes you’re a playboy who’s going to break my heart.” She turns and looks away.
“What do you think?” I ask, because that’s all that really matters.
“I think I’m in way over my head, but I can’t say I hate it,” she says with a sigh. “I was so sick of my old life. That’s why I came to you in the first place. I knew I needed a change, and this is about as big of a change as anyone could ask for.” She shakes her head as her lip curls upward. The sparkle in her eyes is as strong as I’ve seen it in spite of everything that we’ve been hit with. She never ceases to amaze me.
“You’re not alone. I’m in over my head too,” I admit, even though I’m not exactly sure how to explain it.
“Why?” she asks, the lines popping across her forehead.
I take a deep breath, thinking for a few seconds about where to go from here. “I thought I would have a hard time getting close to you because I had built a pretty thick wall around my heart. But somehow, you got right past it.” I reach over and lace my fingers between hers. “I’ve heard my mom say thousands of times how hard you have to work at relationships. That they are hard work and you can’t expect anything worthwhile to come easily. But so far, things between us feel effortless. On my end, at least.”
“I know. I keep thinking this must be something temporary and that things aren’t going to stay this way,” she admits, turning her hand and taking hold of my fingers. “It’s all too good to be true. Reality will hit one day, just like Mom said.”
“What if it didn’t have to change? Why can’t we stay like this?” I ask, honestly wondering why it isn’t possible to have an easy relationship. “I mean, I know we’ll start taking each other for granted and we won’t have sex three times a day, but why can’t it stay easy?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it can.” The expression in her eyes turns sanguine.
“I’m telling you” —I lean forward in my chair, lifting her hands and kissing the top of each one— “I’m feeling things that I’ve never felt before, and I don’t want it to end. In fact, that’s what scares me most . . . that somehow, I’ll fuck this up. So please, just tell me if I ever start hurting your feelings, because I can’t imagine finding another you.”
“You know, I’ve read lots of romance novels where people found insta-love and it always made me roll my eyes. In fact, during times when I’ve been feeling the most jaded, I concluded that it was just a bunch of made-up nonsense.” She pauses, staring at me with those gorgeous hazel eyes of hers as a single tear breaks loose and rolls down her cheek. “After meeting you, I’ve had to re-evaluate a lot of things. I had no clue that someone could change my life so quickly. It’s almost like a miracle.”
“That’s how I feel,” I tell her, setting down her hands to wipe my own eyes. “In fact, I came here to share a bit of good news with you.”
“Wow, good news? That’s a first.” She giggles and wipes her eyes.
“Since we had five cases of the first RH Signature toys delivered here, Sally went ahead and uploaded the pictures along with your marketing blurb to the website last night and sent out an email to our customer list,” I tell her, setting her up for the good news.
“And?” Her face lights up with anticipation.
“They sold out in under three hours, and people are still ordering them. If we come back with anything from the show, they’ll already be sold. Otherwise, we’re going to be backordered for at least two weeks.” A big smile simultaneously breaks across both of our faces. “Also, after talking to the PI, I think he’s on the right track.”
“What’s he doing?” She folds her arms and sits back, looking a bit skeptical.
“He’s trying to figure out what she did with all those samples. He’s going through all her social media posts and comments to see if there are any solid clues. I never did hear back from her after I asked about a video.” I chuckle at the thought of her receiving the request. She thinks she’s smart enough to steal everything I’ve worked so hard for, but I hope we end up turning the tables on her. “I don’t want anything from her other than her admitting what she’s done. Although the thought of her raising my child still makes me sick. That’s so wrong.”
“Yeah, I can’t imagine,” she says, grabbing a notepad and a pen. “For now, I’m going to distract myself by putting together a marketing blurb for the Demonizer and the magic wand. I’ll help you with one for the butterfly too.”
“You’re amazing,” I tell her, completely summing her up in two words. “I need to make a couple more calls and make final arrangements for Friday, then I’ll come help you work on the blurbs.”
“Sounds good,” she replies with a far-off look, already lost in her thoughts about the Demonizer. I’m sure it’s going to be another great marketing piece. “Your husband’s late again?” I ask her while making my way out the door.
“Splendid! Now you’ve got time for the Demonizer!” she yells back in a rather impressive British accent. A feeling of calm has settled over me as a result of seeing how she reacted to the latest crisis. She took the bull by the horns, confessed to her mom, and after that, it seems as if she has accepted it. Seeing her reaction, I can accept it as well. Whatever happens, I think we’ll be fine. But I’m still hoping the PI can find a flaw in Jessica’s evil plan.
Felicia
Trying to focus on the marketing blurbs, Mom’s words continue to echo through my mind. Don’t fall too hard. The sad reality is that it’s already too late for that. It’s obvious by the way that my mood changes whenever he walks in the room. There’s something about his presence and energy that calms me, making me feel alive. No man has ever made me feel this way, it’s usually been the opposite. Emotions are probably the most uncontrollable aspect of human existence. It’s ridi
culous to expect that I can somehow rein them in. All I can do is take him at his word and pray that he doesn’t shatter my heart.
I pull up a picture of the Demonizer, looking for inspiration. The thing that impressed me most was how much it felt like an actual human tongue. I’m betting it would feel good on a guy too. I’m going to try it out on that sensitive spot between his balls. Considering how incredible it felt on my clit, I know he will like it. I can’t believe I’m getting wet just thinking about being with him. It’s only nine forty-five, for God’s sake. It’s going to be a long day if I don’t simmer down, but I can’t help thinking about how it felt to have him fucking me while moving this thing back and forth across my clit. It was incredible.
I make a note that you can use it solo or with your partner. I also mention that it feels like you’re getting laid and receiving oral at the same time. What could be better than that? I think about the orgasmic pulses that began at my very core and flowed in waves through my entire body. How can I possibly put those feelings into words? I seriously think that any woman who tries this thing with the RH Signature dildo will have her mind blown. I open the cabinet above me and pull out the demo model that Rex gave me as a keepsake. What a romantic gesture. Setting it down next to the Demonizer, I can’t suppress the giggles.
“Channeling some inspiration?” Rex asks, peeking his head around the corner. “It’s hilarious to see you sitting in here with those things on your desk.”
“I thought it would help, but now marketing is the last thing on my mind,” she says, pushing back from her desk. “It’s a little too early in the day for these kinds of thoughts.”
“Tell me about it,” he replies, moving closer. “My thoughts are running a little on the amorous side too, although I did get our reservations firmed up.”
“Our reservations?” He never asked me about going with him to the trade show. “I thought Sally was going with you.”
“She is, but mine is a double room.” He flashes a sultry grin. “It’s way too much space for just a single guy to occupy.” He moves in behind me and begins to massage my shoulders.
“I guess I should be glad that you don’t want to go to Sexapalooza without me.” I lean my head back and look up at him. “This is so . . . not helping my concentration.”
“It’s no rush. We won’t be printing more catalogs for a few weeks, so I think it may be more important to test a few more toys so we can decide which ones deserve to be featured,” he explains with a deadpan expression.
“You’re the boss,” I oblige. “You just let me know where my focus should be.”
He turns my chair and drops to one knee, gazing up at me. “I think you should focus on me, focusing on you.” He smiles, keeping his eyes locked with mine. “I honestly never thought I would be lucky enough to find a woman like you. Beautiful, humorous, and willing to accept my past.”
“Well, you should know that I wouldn’t be interested if you were still doing it,” I admit, running my fingers through the sides of his thick brown hair. “I could never share you with another woman, much less dozens or hundreds of them.” I can’t help sighing at the thought.
“I couldn’t stand the thought of sharing you either.” His eyes soften, and I once again feel a connection that can only be described as spiritual. “I believe that miracles happen every day, and that’s the only thing that explains how you fell into my life and immediately captured my heart. I was so jaded, but your innocence and the way you blushed at every comment just broke right through.”
“Yeah, if anyone had told me I would be feeling this way so soon after being dumped, I would’ve thought they were crazy.” Pulling him to me, I kiss him with a passion that has no place in an office environment. “So where do you suggest we go to continue our testing?”
“Well, I know for sure it can’t be here. Sally would never let me live it down and Barb . . . who knows how Barb would react.” He rolls his eyes, rising to his feet. “Why don’t you meet me at the car in a few minutes? I need to grab a few things.”
“Okay, I should probably clean up my office a bit,” I tell him, tossing the Demonizer into my handbag and catching a glimpse of the prostate massager that’s also in there. I place the demo dildo back in my upper cabinet, knowing that it can’t compare to the real thing. Glancing at my phone, I see it’s only a quarter past ten. I have a feeling it’s going to be another amazing day. My hormones are obviously out of control because my thighs literally ache with anticipation. I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with me.
My phone buzzes as I approach his car, and I glance down to see that it’s my mother calling back. There’s a sinking feeling in my stomach since we talked less than an hour ago. “How much do you know about this guy?” she asks as I take her call.
“I know everything,” I assure her. “What have you read?” I ask, knowing that she must have Googled his name.
“I honestly don’t know where to begin,” she replies, sounding exasperated. “That man’s done more banging than a screen door in an Oklahoma wind storm!” she declares, using one of her favorite old phrases. “How many kids does he have? Does he even know?”
“It’s not what you think,” I try to assure her. “He was a sex surrogate. It was his job to help women through difficulties with intimacy. He wasn’t in it for the sex.”
“Are you joking? You obviously haven’t seen the video I just watched. I don’t believe these women had intimacy issues, except maybe too many men trying to be intimate with them. They all look like actresses and models.”
“I don’t know, Mom.” I feel an instant heaviness in my heart. “I’m at work, so I can’t talk right now. I’ll call you later.”
“Okay, honey. I just wanted you to know what you’re getting into. You’ve always tended to be overly trusting,” she adds before hanging up.
It’s true. I’ve always trusted people, but my trusting nature took a severe hit the moment I saw Becca and Kip together. Since my mood is already blown, I click to voicemail to see what kind of a message Becca left me.
“I’m sorry, Felicia. I’ve always been jealous of you.” Her voice cracks. “You always got the good guys and I ended up with the one-night stands. When I ran into Kip at the club, I tried to leave him alone, but I swear there’s something wrong with me. I’ve never been able to turn down a hot guy like that. I don’t see it getting serious, but I want to make sure you’re okay with us hanging out. I’m sorry Kip was such a dick about it, posting that selfie of us. I miss you.”
And she wonders why she doesn’t end up with the good ones. I pause for a moment to consider whether I should even give her the courtesy of a reply. A little part of me still appreciates the lifeline she threw me in third grade, so I send her another text.
Me: I really don’t want to talk about it, but if you and Kip make each other happy, go for it. He will never again be a part of my life. Take Care!
A shallow smile crosses my face as I press Send. I tilt my head back and look up at the roof of the parking garage, wondering where in the hell I’m headed. My phone buzzes and I expect to see a reply from Becca, but it’s Mom forwarding me the link to the video she was telling me about. A feeling of sheer anxiety sweeps through me. Not only have I put myself in a position to get my heart trampled on again, but it’s also my job this time. How could I be so careless?
Taking a deep breath, I click the link to watch the video, and first girl who appears is Jessica. She introduces herself, tells everyone that she’s pregnant with Rex’s child, and then proceeds to interview a half-dozen other girls who are all drop-dead gorgeous. Mom was right, they all look like actresses or models. My stomach feels so sick right now. Her interview centers around the question Are you better off or worse off after your experience with Rex Hastings? Each girl tells a similar story of how Rex had initially given them hope. How he had opened up a whole new world to them, but afterward, they had all fallen into complete despair when they failed to find the same fulfillment with o
ther partners.
“It’s like winning the lottery and immediately losing all the money,” one girl says, tears streaming down her face. “I thought it would be an enlightening experience, but after two years of trying to find my way back with other partners, I’ve all but given up. I wish I didn’t know what I’m missing.”
Another woman simply declares, “I spent ten thousand dollars on sessions with Rex, and in return, he ruined me for other men.” At the end of the video, Jessica encourages other former clients of his to reach out to her and she displays her blog address. That’s how she’s been getting in contact with them.
I double-click and kill the YouTube app at the end of it, not wanting another video about him to auto play. I totally understand what these women are saying. I have the same fear. Everything has been happening so quickly and feels so surreal, as if it’s all too good to be true. Deep down, I truly expect it to disappear just as quickly, because things like this don’t come this easily for me. I bite at my top lip, trying to contain my emotions. I don’t want him to find me sobbing in the parking garage, but the harder I try, the more I lose control. Within seconds, the tears are flowing down my cheeks, hitting the concrete between my feet. I need to start carrying tissues in my purse.
Chapter 17
Rex
After being detained for a good ten minutes by Sally, I feel a twinge of guilt as I step into the elevator, punching the button for the lobby. She now feels like a third wheel in spite of the fact that she’s the only one who has ever done a trade show. This all would’ve gone smoothly if Jessica weren’t so goddamn determined to cause problems. The anger grows within me as the chirp of the elevator calls out each passing floor. I treated her as well as anyone, so why is she so incredibly bitter? As the doors open to the lobby, I lower my gaze and head directly for the parking garage, not wanting any more human interactions. My mood lightens upon seeing Felicia standing next to the car. Her silhouette alone is enough to part the clouds on a gloomy day.