Lone Star in Jersey

by Anne Key

  “Well, I’m not going to tell anyone. That’s your decision, one way or the other.”

  Well, that wasn’t…. She and Mari hung out a lot. Did Sammy want Mari to know she was dating a trans guy? But then again if Mari was the only one of the four of them who didn’t know… “So, you want me to tell Mari? I mean, I think maybe we should. You can if you want to.”

  “I think, if you tell, you should do it, but I’ll be there, if you want. I think Mari knows a lot about everyone from her mom. I think, maybe, you’ll be just coming out to her.” Sammy gave him a glance. “Is that right? Is that the right thing to say? Coming out?”

  “Yeah, that’s the right thing to say.” Eli sipped his cocoa and thought about it for a minute. “Double date? We tell her then. Are you free Saturday night?” Are you free every day forever?

  “I think so, yeah. I need to talk to Daddy, but I think so. We could go have pizza and see a movie?”

  “Yes. I’d love that. I’ll tell Erik, and he can invite Mari.” She was Erik’s girlfriend after all. Eli picked up his phone to text Erik and found one waiting for him.

  Yo. Dog house or dream house?

  Eli shifted so Sammy couldn’t see what he was typing. Total dream house. Double date Saturday? Sammy wants pizza and movie.

  I’m in, I’ll text Mari. Way to go, stud.

  Eli snorted. ha

  Stud. That was funny. “Erik says they’re in.”

  “That was fast.” She grinned and touched his nose, the touch gentle, soft.

  “Yeah, well. I’m a stud.” He couldn’t get it out with a straight face and started to giggle. He was working on the whole laughter thing. It still sounded too high and thin to him, but it wasn’t like he could plan an attack of the giggles. And this was a good one. It seemed worse to start and then try to fix it part way through. Whatever. Maybe he’d ask Erik what he thought.

  “You two are having altogether too much fun.” Sammy’s dad came in, smiling at them. “I hate to break up the party, but Sammy’s aunt is only here one more night, and we’re talking about going to dinner.”

  “Oh, sure. I have to get home for dinner too.” Eli stood up.

  “Thank you for bringing my homework, Eli.” Sammy pushed her chair back. “I’ll get with you about the science project and Saturday.”

  “Great.” Eli looked at Mr. Moore and then back at Sammy. “Uh so, see you tomorrow. Glad you’re feeling better.” He turned and headed out of the kitchen. “Later, Mr. Moore.”

  He’d dumped his backpack someplace. Oh. Right next to Sammy’s aunt. That wasn’t awkward or anything. He bent over and picked it up. “Nice to meet you. Safe travels and all.”

  “Thank you, son. You be good to my Sammy, hmm? She’s a good girl.”

  Eli smiled at her. “The best. Is she…?” He lowered his voice. “Is she okay?”

  “She is going to be just fine. She just had to process things.”

  “Sure, okay. Just… wanted to make sure. Thanks.” He glanced over his shoulder, but it looked like Sammy and her dad were talking, so he headed out the door. “Night.”

  It was starting to get dark, probably a good thing he was on his way. He set his skateboard on the sidewalk and took off for home.

  AUNT FRANNY went up to pack, and Sammy spread her homework on the kitchen table. She figured Daddy wanted to talk to her, and she knew she needed to talk to him, and this was sort of a clear invitation, right? Right.

  She sorted out all the papers and notes, smiling as she found random weird doodles from Eli.

  Daddy pulled the chair Eli had been sitting in a foot or so farther away and sat down. “That looks like a lot of work. They don’t expect you to have it all done by tomorrow, do they?”

  “No, sir. I have till Monday, thank God. It’s not terrible bad. I can have it done by Friday.”

  “Oh, good.” He reached for her hand. “You were happy to see Eli?”

  She held on. She’d never noticed how his hands were just like hers, only bigger. “I was. I like him. A lot.”

  “Okay, good.” Daddy smiled. “You’ll never be alone with him again, then.”

  “Daddy! It’s not like I can get pregnant, you know.” She could give just as good as she got.

  Daddy laughed. “Hm. You know, you make an excellent point. But you can still get cooties. Make sure to call Franny about that if the time comes.” He winked. “But seriously, I’ve been worried about you. That was a hard talk the other night.”

  “It was just rough. Everything felt like it was so big, Daddy. Just too big for me to know what to do.” She was ashamed, sure, but she couldn’t figure out what else she might have done.

  “Yeah, well. It’s okay, sweetheart. It was too big for me to know what to do too. Good thing we have your Aunt Franny. I just need to know how you are now.”

  “I still miss Momma, and I’m a little mad at her—for not telling me and stuff. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to hide all that. Aunt Franny said stuff that made a lot of sense, though.” She took a deep breath and let it out like she was fixin’ to do a tumbling run. “Like if Eli was… like if his penis was broken, would that be a reason not to love him, and it isn’t. That’s not something that would make me think I was a good person. And also, that I’m not a titty baby. If someone’s mean because of Eli or you or anything, kick their butts. No one gets to be mean to my family.”

  She looked up, searching her daddy’s face, needing him to tell her she was making sense, was on the right track. He looked right back at her for a bit and then took a deep breath himself.

  “I’m so proud of you.” He took her other hand in his as well. “That’s a lot to figure out in a few days, Sammy. I don’t know how you did it. Your momma would be proud too.”

  “You think so? I want her to be proud of me. You too. I know I mess up a lot, but I want to be… right.”

  “Well, being right isn’t as important as doing right. Or trying to. Your heart just needs to be in the right place, you know? Trust me, I mess up plenty. But I love you, so I just try to do my best. Everything you just told me came from your heart. Just keep that up, and you’ll be fine.” He shifted in his chair. “Except maybe the butt-kicking thing. You might want to rethink that part.”

  “Why?” Aunt Franny came in. “Sometimes a woman has to beat the hell out of some asshole that desperately deserves it—literally and figuratively.”

  Daddy sighed. “Thank you, Franny. Stick to figuratively, Sammy. Up here, people have hair-triggers about that stuff. You’ll get a label, get a record, and get thrown out of school. Say what you need to say. Keep your hands to yourself.” He seemed pretty serious.

  “Damn Yankees.” Franny rolled her eyes, but she didn’t look sorry, at all. “Promise me you’ll still come to UT for college.”

  Daddy snorted. “Uh-uh. Yale.” Sammy was horrified until she caught Daddy grinning at Aunt Franny.

  “Do I have to pay out-of-state tuition now? Do I have to get a lot of scholarships?” She knew Momma had always been about Texas schools because of that. She didn’t even know what the New Jersey colleges were. They sure didn’t play the Longhorns.

  “Don’t you worry about the money, Sammy. Your mom took care of you. Franny can explain it all to you at some point. You worry about what you might want to do after college and figure out the best place to go for that.”

  “I want to study math.”

  Both Daddy and Aunt Franny blinked at her.

  “What? I love math. I’m real good at it. Real good.”

  “Math is good. Nothing wrong with math. Of course, I’m the creative type, so math wasn’t really my bag.” Daddy looked at Aunt Franny. “MIT? Or Princeton. Or what’s that… um…. UCLA.”

  “California is far away from both of us, Seth. In LA.”

  “So? It’s a good school.”

  “Y’all. Can we worry about this in a year or so? Maybe after the SATs?” She had to get through Halloween with Eli first and maybe seeing when the dance troupe was havi
ng tryouts again.

  “Oh. Sure. Sorry, Sammy. Sounds like your Aunt Franny and I have some thinking to do, anyway. We can plan your life out for you another time.”

  “Goodie. Maybe I’ll go to OU.” She managed to keep a straight face. Aunt Franny could scream for weeks about Oklahoma. Of course, Sammy didn’t even tease about becoming an Aggie.

  “Samantha, I will beat you until you can’t breathe.”

  Daddy just laughed. “As much as I love a good girl-fight, I was thinking we might want to eat at some point before your flight in the morning.”

  “Absolutely. Take me somewhere amazing. No Mexican food.”

  “I’ll get my coat. What do you think, Sammy? Japanese? Thai? Greasy cheesesteaks?” Daddy headed for the living room.

  “Greasy cheesesteaks. They’re better than Texadelphia’s, honest.”

  Aunt Franny looked at her after Daddy left the room and mouthed, “UT.” She winked. “Cheesesteaks it is. I hope you’re still working out.”

  “God, is everyone in the whole world worried about me getting fat? Am I getting fat?” Her clothes fit fine still. Did she have muffin top? Oh God. Okay. So, she should have a half sandwich and bring half home.

  Daddy held the door open for them. “Who’s worried about… oh! Sammy. I rescheduled your audition with the acro team for Monday after school. Does that work?”

  God, she was getting fat. “Yeah, Daddy. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. And this time you’re going. And you’re going to kill it.”

  Chapter 19

  ELI LEFT the house without his skateboard. It felt kind of bizarre, like he was missing an arm or something. He rode that thing everywhere. He finished his text to Erik as he walked, saying they’d meet him and Mari at the bus, and then stuffed his phone in his jacket pocket.

  He felt great. It wasn’t quite dusk yet, the sun was low but still hanging around, and it was a warmer night, too, which was awesome. He turned the corner onto Sammy’s street and half jogged the few yards to her front walk. The last time he went up this walk, he was terrified. This time, he wasn’t even nervous.

  He climbed the steps to the old Victorian and rang the doorbell.

  “Come on in, Eli,” Mr. Moore called. “Sammy’s doing something with her hair.”

  “Seth.” Mr. Moore’s boyfriend sounded like he was laughing. “Be nice. She’s making herself stunning.”

  “Okay, Mr. Moore, that’s cool.”

  “Eli, you remember my boyfriend, Mr. Lee?”

  “Oh god, I told you I can’t stand that. It’s Jian, Eli. No matter what Mr. Moore here says.”

  Did these two ever not bicker?

  Oh, please hurry up, Sammy. Eli smiled at Jian. “Nice to see you again.” How long could hair take? She didn’t need to try too hard to be stunning.

  “Sammy! Eli’s waiting.”

  “I’m coming. I’m coming.” She bounced down the stairs wearing a bright red sweater, her hair up in a mass of wild curls. “Sorry. I was trying to do my hair.”

  “Wow,” Jian and Eli said at once, and then looked at each other. Eli felt himself blush.

  Jian laughed. “Looking good, girl.”

  “You did a good job. I mean… it looks really nice.”

  “I’m too old for this.” Mr. Moore leaned over and kissed Sammy’s cheek. “Don’t take the bus home. Text Mr. Green. He’s picking you up at the mall outside the movie theater. No later than—” He looked at Eli and sighed. “—eleven.”

  Score.

  “Okay, Daddy. I love you.” She hugged her dad, then grabbed her purse and popped her phone inside. “You ready, Mister Eli?”

  His heart was pounding, but otherwise he was good. He offered Sammy his arm. “I am. Come on, Miss Sammy.” He giggled. He just couldn’t do it with a straight face.

  “Be good, you two.”

  “I’ll take good care of her, Mr. Moore.” That was corny, but he’d bet money her dad would like it.

  “Thanks, Eli. Have fun.”

  Eli hurried Sammy out the door.

  “You look very handsome, by the way. I like you in green.”

  “Yeah? Thanks. Sorry to rush you out of there, but your dad and his boyfriend… I can’t even.” He giggled. “They just make me want to laugh, and I was trying to be, you know, polite.” He wanted to tell Sammy how pretty her eyes were and how much he liked her sweater, too, but Erik’s voice was in the back of his head. “Play it cool and don’t put it all out there at once. You’ve got all night.”

  “They’re just goofy. It’s cute. Jian’s actually a nice guy, and I think he loves Daddy.”

  “Oh, I didn’t mean anything bad. I like them both a lot. How do you know he loves your dad?” He took Sammy’s hand as they crossed the street, just kind of slipped his hand around hers. It felt so easy to do now, maybe because he knew she’d just tighten her grip and hold on. It wasn’t a question anymore.

  “He pays attention. He brings Daddy these bagels every time he comes for the weekend. He makes Daddy eat vegetables. You know, he cares.”

  Eli nodded thoughtfully. Sometimes, it was good to not like labels, but sometimes… well, he really wished he had a name for how he felt about Sammy. Not that he could narrow down exactly what he was feeling most of the time, but it seemed like things would be less complicated if he knew for sure if it was love or what. He’d tell her if he knew for sure—he would. But how was he supposed to know?

  “Hey, you guys! Hurry up!” Mari and Erik were waving from the bus stop, and Erik pointed at the bus coming down the street.

  They ran, Sammy holding his hand as they chased the bus. This would be so much easier on his board.

  They made it. Though by the time they got to the bus stop, Sammy was ahead of him, and Eli was panting. Sometime, he was going to have to explain to her—or maybe to them all—why you don’t run when you’re wearing a binder. God. He couldn’t get a deep breath. What a dork.

  “I’m not this out of shape, I swear.” Or maybe he was. He used weights a lot for his shoulders and did push-ups, but yeah, not a lot of running.

  “You okay?” She was laughing, all lit up and happy.

  “I will be.” He was grinning, but he was still breathless. “I just need a sec.” He managed a deep breath, and then things got better.

  “That sweater is a great color on you,” Mari said as the bus pulled up.

  Okay, so he was going to wear green every day. Every single day. He needed to tell Mom.

  “Thanks.” He followed everyone else onto the bus. There weren’t enough seats, so Eli and Erik made sure Sammy and Mari each got one, and they stood in the aisle, holding on to the bar over their heads.

  Eli looked around. The bus was mostly full of teenagers. “Saturdays are crowded, huh?”

  “Usually.” Erik nodded.

  Eli spent a lot of Saturday nights playing video games or surfing Tumblr. This double date thing was turning out to be an even better idea than he’d originally thought. He and Sammy had Mari and Erik to kind of get them around, he got to be out of the house and social, and Sammy was… oh.

  Sammy was watching him. And smiling.

  “This is awesome, right?”

  “It is. I’m having a ball.” She winked at him, sweet and playful at the same time.

  “So where did you guys want to eat?” Erik asked. Of course.

  Eli laughed. “Hungry?”

  “Duh.”

  “Somewhere not pizza?”

  “I can make that happen.”

  Eli just shook his head.

  Mari leaned against Sammy’s arm. “He’s so charming, my Erik.”

  “He’s a good guy. Starving, but good.”

  The bus ride was bumpy, and Eli almost ended up in Sammy’s lap at least twice. He was glad when they finally arrived at the mall. Erik led them through the main doors and down one long arm of shops to one of the mall’s chain restaurants, where they were seated in a high-sided booth.

  It was still kind of surr
eal to him, being on a real date, with his real girlfriend. Dad had slipped Eli some cash on his way out the door so he could treat Sammy too. The whole thing was seriously too crazy-wonderful.

  They ordered drinks, and the server left menus.

  “How’d you do on all that homework I dropped off?”

  “All banged out. Daddy was all ‘you can go if you get your work done.’” She rolled her eyes at him, playful, teasing.

  “Slave driver.” Eli laughed.

  “You probably had it all done by Friday night, didn’t you?” Mari asked. “Because you’re not an overachiever or anything.”

  “Shut up.”

  Eli knew it was the truth. They were just an hour away from finishing their science project already.

  “So, what are you guys doing for Halloween?”

  “I’m thinking zombie.” Erik shrugged.

  “I have no idea. Maybe his next victim.” Mari laughed. “I always do this stuff last minute.”

  “Are you going out?”

  Erik nodded. “There’s a party.”

  “Yeah?”

  “This girl in my English class. Thought I told you.”

  “Wow.” Eli looked at Sammy. “You wanna go?” He did, but he wasn’t sure whether his dad would let him.

  “Sure. I just want to show off our costumes. I’ve got the gear bows all done and the uniforms dyed.”

  Mari snorted. “But you’re not an overachiever.” She tilted her head at Sammy.

  “Maybe,” Sammy admitted. “I just like things to work right.”

  “Is everyone in Texas like you?” Mari asked.

  “Texas is a big place. That would be impossible. Texas is huge. Y’all go to other states for a day!”

  “Your dad works in another state. Every day.” Eli laughed.

  “Anyone want to split an appetizer?” Everyone looked at Erik. “What?”

  Ordering was an adventure. Erik ordered enough for three people, and Mari ordered everything on the side.

  “Um. Just the cheeseburger, medium, and the sweet potato fries for me.” The one thing that wasn’t complicated about Eli was food.