by Anne Key
Sammy ordered the salad, shrugging when they all looked at her. “Tryouts Monday. I’m on a crash diet. I don’t want them thinking I’m a chunk.”
“Pfft.” Eli shook his head. Who would think Sammy was chunky? “You’re perfect. Who cares what they think?”
“That’s your job to say so, but thank you.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek.
“Maybe. That doesn’t make it not true,” Eli mumbled. Girls. Although, thinking about it, he probably should watch it with the burgers himself.
He looked at Erik. “Are you cool if I bring up that thing?”
Erik shrugged, “Yeah, man. Whatever.”
Mari looked at them. “Bring up what thing?”
Eli looked at Sammy and then smiled at Mari. “So, I need to tell you something I’ve been keeping secret. I waited until I told Sammy, but now I have, so….”
“Are you talking about the transgender thing? Because, dude, my mom brings files home. I know everything.”
Eli stared at her. “Seriously?” He wanted to crawl under the table. If she knew, who else knew?
Mari nodded at him. “Obviously, I keep the important stuff to myself.”
“Okay, well I guess I just need to figure out how many other people have been able to snoop through my private school file, and I’ll be good, right?” He picked up his ginger ale and stuck the straw in his mouth before he could say anything else. He trusted Mari, but he was still… something. Upset, worried, hurt maybe? Scared. Something. He didn’t like the idea that other people knew things about him that they weren’t telling him they knew.
“I didn’t say anything because… well, it’s not like I’m going to get into your pants, man. We’re friends, right? I never told a soul. I just… I get bored and I read files.”
Eli set his glass down again. Of course they were friends, and it wasn’t like Mari walked away from him when she found out. “We’re friends. I just think maybe it would have been better if you’d said something is all, Mari.” He looked at Sammy. “Guess I should have told you sooner?”
She shrugged. “It’s not like I was fixin’ to guess, honey.”
Well, that was for sure. “Okay, then. Anyone want to change the subject?” He picked up his drink again. Someday, the whole coming-out thing would either be not awkward, or awkward would just be normal. Right now, it was just uncomfortable.
“Are you trying out for the school play? You’re in drama class and shit.” Erik had a wicked grin on his face, but at least he was playing along.
Eli snorted. “Yeah, sure. I heard they were doing Beauty and the Beast. I thought Sammy and I would be perfect.” No way in hell was he trying out for the school play, whatever it actually was.
“No way, José. I’m going to help paint backdrops, and that’s it. I’m not an actor.”
“Hm. I hadn’t thought about José. Do you like that better than Eli?” Eli winked at her.
“Nope. At least you’re not another Sammy, huh? That would be weird.”
“Why are you a Sammy and not a Samantha?” Mari asked, and Eli couldn’t help but think that was a good question.
“Momma always called me Sammy-girl when I was little. No one’s ever called me Samantha unless they were mad at me. I think about changing my name sometimes, but nothing else feels right.”
Eli reached over and took her hand. “I’m fond of Sparkles.”
“Sparkles is a little bit of a pole dancer name, you know.”
Sammy glared at Mari, then laughed and stuck her tongue out. “I like it.”
“I hear pole dancing is really good exercise,” Erik said. Everyone looked at him, trying to figure out if he was serious or making a joke.
“You should try it,” he suggested to Mari.
Eli was a little intimidated by the look she gave Erik in return, but the food arrived, interrupting them. The whole table got quiet for a few minutes as they all took their first few bites.
“Oh, man, I was hungrier than I thought.” Eli sipped his drink to swallow down a huge bite of his cheeseburger. “So, what do you guys do for the holidays?”
“We’re going on a cruise. We go every winter break. It’s so nice, with the sun and the constant swimming.” Mari actually, literally, bounced on the booth seat.
“Oh, that sounds cool. We’re going skiing, I guess.”
“Yeah? Where?” Erik sounded interested.
“Somewhere in Vermont? I don’t ski, but I snowboard.”
“Awesome.” Erik nodded. “We’re going somewhere in Vermont too.”
Well, that would be cool if they ended up in the same place. “Do you know what you’re doing, Sammy? What does your Dad usually do?”
“I don’t know.”
Oh. Oh damn. Right, this would be her first holiday without her mom.
“Oh, well sure. Right.” He felt like a jerk for bringing it up, and now he knew he had to find her a graceful out. He squeezed her hand, hoping she’d understand he was sorry. He’d tell her so later to make sure. “Well, uh, if we get some snow this winter, you want to learn how to snowboard? I bet my dad would take us.”
“Sure. I’ve never tried, but I could learn.” She squeezed him back, like she was saying it was going to be okay, and he hoped it would. He couldn’t imagine living with someone and not knowing what they did for the holidays.
“It would be fun. We could all go. I’m still learning, too, trust me. Maybe we could take a lesson or something.”
“You don’t need a lesson. Mari and I can teach both of you.” He looked at Mari. “Right?”
“For sure. It’s easy. Easier than skateboarding even.”
“Yeah, we’ll see. I’d kind of like to learn from someone that will teach me to stay standing up.”
“Shut up.” Erik laughed, though. He’d had another wipeout on his skateboard the other day and had a scraped-up, black-and-blue elbow to prove it. Seemed like Erik was falling all the time, but Eli figured that was because he was always trying to learn the hard tricks.
Eli liked to mostly keep his feet on the board.
“Are you nervous about trying out for that dance-squad thing Monday?” Mari had a knack for changing the subject. It was cool and weird, all at the same time.
Sammy? She couldn’t be nervous. She’d been doing cheer forever. He supposed she could be nervous about meeting new people maybe, but not about the tryout itself. And anyway, even if she was nervous, he knew she’d walk in like she already belonged there. She’d managed dinner with his parents; she could handle tryouts.
“Sure, but it is what it is. I just have to do my best and all that, right?” She winked across the table but leaned into him, which set him tingling.
He’d been trying not to get too close or pay too much attention to things like how warm she was next to him or how good she always smelled because he knew it would distract him. He knew it would just make him stupid, and he wouldn’t be able to have a conversation with Erik and Mari. “I’d say I know you’re going to do great, but you’d just tell me I’m supposed to say that,” he teased.
“Very good. You’re learning. It should be pretty good, unless they’re superspecialized in something I don’t know. None of the cheerleaders here want to give me the time of day, but given how I told off the captain of the squad….”
“Yeah, you were great. Brit and Mari have been fighting since first grade.” Erik whistled. “Why would you want to do dance squad anyway?”
“Because I’m good at it—dancing and tumbling. I’m not good enough to be a gymnast or a ballerina, so… I do this.”
“So, it’s not just shaking your pom-poms?” Eli teased, and she elbowed him.
“Shut up. You know how many times I’ve sprained or bruised or something doing cheer? Tons.”
“I get it, I get it!” He gave up teasing.
Erik nodded. “Wow. I’m going to look at those cheerleaders differently.”
“You shouldn’t be looking at those cheerleaders at all!” Mari punched him p
layfully in the shoulder.
Eli looked at Sammy and grinned, one hand up and the other over his heart. “I swear I’m not looking at any cheerleaders.”
“Good. I like that you’re looking at me, cheerleader or not.”
“My job, again, right? And you know I meant any other cheerleaders.” He swallowed. It was a little hard to breathe with the way she was looking at him.
“You’re in trouble now, Green.”
“Am I? Well… I guess I’ll just have to make up for it later.”
Sammy’s laughter filled the air, warm and joyous.
Eli put his arm around her shoulders and stuck his tongue out at Erik. “You still eating over there, Piglet?”
“I am. You want to split one of the big desserts? They have this huge banana split.”
“No thanks, man. I have to watch my figure.” Eli winked. “Are you going for it, Mari?”
“Hell yes. Sammy?”
“I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Eli nodded. If he were honest, he’d have to admit he only said no because he knew Sammy was going to. “We’ll just watch you two make yourselves sick.”
But it was all good, because he’d found just the right moment to get his arm around his girl, and it didn’t feel awkward, and now they could just sit there and relax for a while. He rested his head against hers for a second, and then turned and kissed her temple. “You’re sweet enough for me,” he whispered.
The expression on Sammy’s face proved he was doing something right.
It took a while, and Mari and Erik tried hard, but even they couldn’t finish the whole banana split. That didn’t stop either one of them from buying popcorn and soda at the movie theater, though.
Eli and Sammy skipped the food line and went in to find them all seats. He’d treated Sammy to dinner, but he had to let her buy the movie tickets because she insisted. She literally stomped her foot at him and gave him a look he decided not to mess with. It was adorable and made him feel like she really was into him, into this whole thing.
“You’ve been pretty quiet tonight. You okay? Are you having fun?” She hadn’t said much at dinner.
“I am. I’m super nervous about Monday. It’s super important to Daddy that I make it in, I think.”
“Really?” Why would it be so important to her dad? “Is he pressuring you about it?”
“I don’t know. I know that’s weird, right? But it’s also true. We’re still real new to each other. It may just be that he wants me to do something I love again, and that’s why it’s a big deal.”
Eli shrugged. “Dads are weird. Mine is like a different guy every five minutes these days.” He led Sammy up high because he liked to look at the screen at eye level. “Maybe he’s just nervous too. I know my dad was a pain in the ass about the first day of school. I’m pretty sure he and my mom were both as nervous as I was.”
“I bet. Were you scared? I was. Like whoa.”
“Are you kidding? I can’t believe I made it through the day without throwing up. You were the first person I met, and I almost ran you over, remember? And then I had to speak in front of people, and I was so afraid I wouldn’t pass. I was worried about everything. How I was sitting, my voice, what I said… god. It was awful.” Horrible. But Sammy had made it better.
“You saved my life that afternoon. The whole bus thing was insane.”
“God, I had to help. You so looked like you were going to lose it.” Eli grinned at her and picked a seat, tossing his coat across two more for Erik and Mari, wherever they were. That line was long.
“I was fixin’ to. Seriously. I’d never seen such a mess.”
“Yeah, well. That’s just how us urban Yankees get home.” He winked at her. “Doesn’t that day feel like it was a hundred years ago? I kind of feel like I’ve known you forever now.”
“I know, right? It’s like it’s been a million years and just a couple seconds, all at once.” She leaned over and kissed him, surprising the hell out of him.
He blinked a couple of times. Yep, she was totally kissing him. Oh man, he liked these butterflies so much better than the kind he’d had on the first day of school. He let himself breathe in this time, and he thought maybe she was wearing perfume or something. Something new and he liked it. Get it together, he told himself and reached up to touch her cheek.
Oh, she was soft and warm and right there, her eyes closed, dark eyelashes leaving a shadow on her cheek.
And then suddenly, just by looking at her, Eli figured out what this feeling was. He didn’t know how he knew, but he knew. He felt like his chest was going to explode, like his heart was going to beat itself right out of it. This, everything between him and Sammy was so new to him, and he didn’t know what the right thing to do or what the right thing to say was, but he hadn’t gone wrong yet by just telling her the truth, so he pulled away just enough to look into her gold-flecked eyes. “I love you, Sammy.”
“Yeah? I love you, Eli. For real.” She touched the end of his nose.
Eli smiled at her. “Yeah? Cool.”
Mari and Erik arrived just as the theater started to go dark. Erik tossed his jacket at him. “That line was ridiculous.”
Mari sighed. “Totally.”
They took their seats, and Eli didn’t have much choice but to let Sammy go. For now.
“Whoa, how much popcorn did you get?”
“It was a deal.” Erik grinned at him.
“It’s something, all right.” Sammy held his hand, not hiding it at all. “It’s a vat of popcorn. A tank. A… a lot.”
“A barrel.” Eli laughed quietly because the previews were starting, and who didn’t love previews? He lifted the armrest between him and Sammy and reclined his seat back a little so he could put his feet up.
Sammy curled her legs up under her, her knees touching his thigh.
“May I…?” He half asked and reached over to put his arm around her shoulders.
“Mmm. That movie looks scary. Like for reals.”
“It looks great. I love scary movies. Don’t you?” Scary movies totally made real life seem easy.
“I like some. I get a little scared, sometimes.”
Eli squeezed her hand so she knew he understood. “So, watch the scary stuff with Erik,” he joked. “Got it.”
“Shhh.” Mari poked Eli in the side.
“Ow.”
But the previews had ended, and the movie was starting, so he figured he better shut up.
SAMMY KNEW there was a movie, but she didn’t see it. She kept sneaking glances at Eli—looking at the line of his jaw, at his lips, at the faces he made.
He was fascinating.
And he loved her.
He pulled his arm back as the credits rolled and stretched, giving her more of a view of his not-quite-flat chest than she usually was able to see. “That was pretty good, right?” he asked, tugging his shirt back down.
Mari shrugged. “The acting was meh, but the music was good.”
“I liked it okay.” Please God, don’t ask me anything about it.
“Is it over?” Erik yawned. “God, that was the worst thing ever. Total chick flick.”
“What? It was totally not a chick flick.”
“Like you’d know.”
Eli gave Erik the finger, but he was grinning. He stood up and held a hand out to Sammy. “Would you call that a chick flick?”
“No one got blown up or killed with an axe….”
Eli whistled. “Well, okay. That’s true, but that’s a pretty broad definition. Nobody kissed anybody either.”
They made their way out of the theater as a group, Mari and Erik holding hands just in front of them.
She chuckled softly. “I don’t know about that.”
Mari looked back at Sammy, eyebrows gyrating wildly. Man, she wanted to learn how to do that.
Eli turned his head like he was looking at the posters for the upcoming movies on the walls, but she was pretty sure he was blushing.
Okay. So. Back off
? Push? Just stay like she was? Just stay as is. She was having fun, right? Right. So, go with it.
“What time is it?” Eli let go of Sammy’s hand and circled his arm around her waist instead, tugging her hip tight against his. “Your dad trusted me with eleven. I don’t want to piss him off. Or my dad either. He’s supposed to pick us up. It can’t be eleven yet though, right?”
“We have thirty-five minutes. You want to sit in here or outside?” Erik was already heading for the weird benches next to the main doors.
“Up to you, Sammy,” Eli half whispered. They were close enough together that she heard him easily. “Outside is chilly, but….” He looked over at Erik.
“I’m happy outside, Eli. For reals. If I get cold, I’ll lean close.” Okay, so flirty but not hootchie. She was rocking it.
“Works for me.” He pulled her over to Mari and Erik. “You guys have a ride?”
“Yeah, we’re good.”
“My mom is on her way,” Mari said. “You guys out of here?”
Sammy leaned into Eli, loving how his arm wrapped around her waist. “We’re going to head outside to wait for Eli’s daddy.”
“Cool. This was fun.”
“Totally. See you guys Monday.” As they headed outside, Eli pulled out his phone. “I’m just texting my dad.”
It was crazy that they were fifteen and having to get rides from parents. Stupid crazy. Back home, you didn’t date a boy who didn’t have a car and here? It wasn’t a thing.
“Okay, we’re good. He said he’d take his time.” Eli put his phone away and zipped up his jacket. “You okay? Hang on.” He tangled his fingers with hers and pulled her around the corner where the building was blocking the wind. “That’s a little better at least.”
“I’m going to freeze to death come Christmas.” And she couldn’t wait to buy scarfs and a hat and all.
“Riding to school is going to be the worst. Otherwise, I usually hide indoors.” He stopped in front of her and put his arm around her waist. “Better?”
“It’s perfect. I’m a little excited about it. Seeing snow, and all.” She couldn’t imagine, but she was ready to tell Lace all about it.
“Let’s hope it snows. Some years it doesn’t hardly at all. But either way, we’ll go snowboarding, and you’ll see some. They make snow in the mountains.”