by M. D. Cooper
“You’re not really going to get the full effect of the waters with that armor on,” Jessica said with a grin.
Cheeky groaned. “Jessica, meet Macy and Jenn, or as I like to call them, Baldy-Tats and Whitey-Braid.”
Jessica turned and placed her hand on the towel behind her on the edge of the pool. “Nice to meet you two. So, which of you is which? I want to make sure I don’t go calling Baldy Jenn when she’s Macy.”
Macy—the bald one as it turned out—growled. “Shut the fuck up with that. I’m Macy, she’s Jenn.”
“Noted,” Jessica replied. “What brings you to these parts?”
“Your indestructible ship,” Jenn said.
“Whoa,” Jessica said. “Don’t go laying all the cards on the table so fast. You gotta be coy about it, ease into it. Work up to trying to steal our ship from us.”
“Although it’ll be tough. It’s not even here,” Cheeky said.
“We noticed,” Macy said. “But you’re going to take us to it.”
“And if we don’t?” Jessica asked.
“Then things will get messy,” a new voice said—this one male.
Jenn and Macy parted to reveal a man walking into the grotto.
“There goes the neighborhood,” Cheeky muttered.
“This is our friend, Derrick,” Macy said. “He’s also very interested in your ship.”
“Particularly in how it can smash planets,” Derrick added.
Jessica looked the newcomer over. He was tall and well-muscled. His right hand was missing, and had been replaced with a strange silver sphere, and a thick silver band wrapped around the back of his head, ending where his ears would have been—had he any.
He was unarmored, with only a tight silver suit covering his body, though there were two handguns strapped to his thighs.
Jessica would have considered him to be rather attractive, were his skin not a pewter color—something about grey skin just put her off, almost worse than bad toes. Silver she could deal with, but not grey.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jessica replied to the intruders. “We didn’t leave Hermes station on our former vessel, the Matron Tulip…may she forever rest in the void. Our ship is the SS Sexy. It’s in dock; you can check with the Olvives dockmaster.”
“You mean the ship you stole from RHY, Retyna Girl?” Macy asked with a smirk.
“Sheesh. What are you two? Detectives?” Cheeky asked.
“If they were,” Jessica said. “They’d know we pulled out of Hermes on the Sexy and flew off here to mourn the loss of our friends on the Matron Tulip. RHY gave me this ship as part of my advance on royalties for my work as Retyna girl.”
“Oh yeah?” Derrick asked. “I have some friends who work for RHY’s branch in the Kidron system. Think I should ask them about that? I could also let them know the ship that smashed Marsalla—their favorite new planet—to pieces, is still around. I bet they’d love to hear about that. How’s that for detective work?”
Jessica sighed and rose from the water, carefully picking up her towel and wrapping it around her waist, holding it—and the gun inside—in place with left hand. “So, what happens next?”
Derrick pulled his eyes from Jessica’s breasts to her face, a lascivious smile on his lips. “Well, we know your other ship, the Tulip—or the Stinging Nettle as it seems to be named now—came into Kidron five days ago. It picked up some insystem cargo from Heshron Station, and then flew to Pela for delivery, but not before you two took off in your little stolen ship.”
“The Sexy,” Cheeky said.
“Whatever. We’ve been waiting for your ship to come back and pick you two up, but so far they’re still on the far side of the system,” Macy added. “But we got bored, so here we are.”
“So, a hostage play in exchange for the ship?” Cheeky asked as she stepped out of the pool as well, grabbing a towel and drying herself off.
Derrick grinned. “You got it girlie!”
Cheeky looked to Jessica. “How original.”
Jessica shrugged and turned to Derrick. “Well, they’re not coming back here. They took a shipment to Serenity, we’re to head out tomorrow and meet them there.”
Jessica replied.
“OK, so your initial plan failed, what’s the new idea?” Jessica asked.
Macy took a step forward. “It didn’t fail, Retyna Girl. It just changed a bit.”
Derrick was rubbing his chin. “Serenity, you say. I have something that needs to get out to that corner of space. Rather fortuitous, this is. Here’s what we’re gonna do. Macy and Jenn are going to take a little trip with you two aboard the Sexy to Serenity. You’ll do as they say, meet up with your friends, and then trade their ship for your lives.”
“What? You can’t haul your grey ass out there too?” Jessica asked.
“Oh, I’ll be there. I just have some business here that I have to wrap up first. But I should make it to Serenity for the swap.”
“So just like that, eh?” Jessica said. “You think you can take us hostage and then take our ship?”
Derrick laughed. “Think I can do it? I’ve already done it. Dockmaster here is a friend of mine, and I’ve just made the call to have some special cargo transferred to your ship. So, if you two ladies wouldn’t mind getting dressed…or stay naked if you want, I don’t mind—”
“Oh,” Jenn interrupted. “And toss the gun you’ve been hiding in your towel to Macy. Not like it’s gonna do much.”
Jessica pulled out the handgun and threw it to Macy, who deftly caught it with one hand. “I know, that’s why I didn’t use it.”
She joined Cheeky at the bench and pulled on her pants and camisole.
Jessica rose and nodded to Derrick and his girls. “OK, once Cheeky gets the overly elaborate laces on her sandals done up we’re ready to get to the Sexy.”
Iris said.
Jessica snorted a laugh and caught a puzzled look from Macy.
“Sorry, private chat here.”
“Oh, I probably don’t need to mention it, but there’s no point in reaching out to anyone on station. All the right palms are greased.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Cheeky sighed. “We figured.”
“Stop grinning, you two, and get a move on,” Macy ordered waving her pulse pistol.
“Sure thing, Baldy-Tats,” Jessica replied with a grin.
A PUSH AND A SHOVE
STELLAR DATE: 10.14.8938 (Adjusted Years)
LOCATION: Healing Waters Mineral Spa, Olvives, Kidron System
REGION: Orion Freedom Alliance, Perseus Arm
The SS Sexy sat in a cradle in Bay N31, its sleek form obscured by a stack of cargo pods sitting in front of the ship’s ramp.
“I don’t know how big you think our ship is, but all that shit isn’t gonna fit,” Jessica said as they approached the Sexy’s berth.
“We’ll find a way,” Macy replied. “You two can sleep in the san unit or something.”
“Oh, how lovely,” Cheeky said with a snort. “Just what I’ve always wanted to do.”
“Shut up or you’ll spend the trip on the hull in EV,” Jenn said as she shoved Cheeky in the back.
Jessica barely paid attention to Cheeky as she studied the four men and women in powered armor currently guarding the Sexy. Two leaning against the pods, and two giving menacing looks to anyone who ventured near.
“I hope they let the food service team aboard. I put in a big order, and with these two tagging along,” Cheeky said as she cocked her head at Macy and Jenn, “we’re gonna need it.”
“Well, don’t just stand around,” Derrick said with a wicked smile, “Get loading!”
Jessica turned and gave Derrick her best glare. “Are you serious? We just spent a day at the spa, now you want us to sling cargo?”
Derrick laughed. “Why not? You’ll be all limber from the water in the grotto. Perfect time for some manual labor.”
“Asshole,” Jessica muttered as she walked toward the cargo pods and looked them over. Despite what Macy and Jenn thought, there was no way all of the pods would fit, even if they all rode on the outside of the ship.
“We’re gonna have to crack some of these and just take the contents,” Jessica called back to Derrick where he stood talking to Macy and Jenn.
“Fine,” Derrick called back. “Just don’t open the ones with the blue labels.”
“Well, now I really want to,” Cheeky groused as she flipped open a crate with a red label. “Oooo guns!”
“Now all we need is some ammo,” Jessica replied.
“Shut up and load the ship,” one of the guards ordered.
The Sexy’s small cargo bay—if it could even be called that—had only ever been meant to hold luggage for five to six people. Or in the case of Phoebe, hers alone.
Cheeky and Jessica tossed the last few of the diminutive debutante’s suit cases down the ramp and then proceeded to cram weapons into every available corner on the ship.
Once they got done with the red-labeled cases, they moved on to the other non-blue labeled ones, adding more weapons, quantum processors that looked like they might use multidimensional computation, and a host of other goodies that likely had extra-legal provenance.
As they worked on loading the ship, one of the guards moved inside, taking up a position at the top of the ramp where he could see most of the interior, from the cockpit down to the small engine compartment in the stern.
Eventually, only the crates with the blue labels remained, and Jessica walked down the ramp, leaving Cheeky to fight with the ninth railgun she was trying to cram into the shower.
Jessica scanned the bay, relieved to find that Derrick had finally left, taking two of the guards with him. Perfect.
Iris snorted.
Jessica shook her head and walked toward the first of the red-labeled crates and pulled it off the stack. It was heavier than she had expected, and Jessica almost dropped it, but managed to maintain her hold and set it down carefully. She dragged it to the Sexy’s ramp and then began to pull it up the incline until it caught on one of the ridges.
“Hey, meathead. Think you can help with this?” Jessica asked the guard at the top of the ship’s ramp.
“No, get it up yourself.”
Jessica snorted. “I bet that’s what all the girls say to you.”
“Hey!” The man shook his head. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Whatever, look, I don’t like this situation any more than you do, but Baldy and Whitey down there are gonna get grumpy soon, so give me a hand already.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” the guard said. “Watching you two bitches lug crap aboard has been the highlight of my week. I’d pay good money to come on this trip—well, if Jenn and Macy weren’t coming. Those two have some…unpleasant appetites.”
“I can imagine,” Jessica replied as she walked around to the upper end of the ramp and pulled on the cargo pod, sticking her ass out and shaking it as she yanked on the pod.
The man laughed. “You won’t have to imagine for long. Keep doing that and I’ll have a taste before those two mercs get to you. They’re gonna chew you two waifs up and spit you out.”
“Yeah, yeah. I can imagine they think they’re all badass in the sack. I probably did everything they ever dreamed of before I was thirty,” Jessica replied. “However, I bet they’ll do something real fun to you if you just stand there and stare at my ass all day. Now, give me a hand!”
“Just lift it and pull it over the ridge,” the guard explained.
“I can’t lift and pull this thing. I’m exhausted, and I’m not sure I could even if I wasn’t. Plus, it’s just gonna catch on the next ridge.”
“Fine,” the guard said. “I liked you better before you opened your mouth.”
The guard pushed off from the bulkhead he had been leaning against, and walked down the ramp. As he did, Cheeky snuck behind him and ducked into the cockpit.
Once the guard was past the crate, Jessica tapped the him on the shoulder. “Hey, I never got your name.”
“Norm,” the guard replied as he turned to push the crate up the ramp.
“Well, Norm,” Jessica said as she leapt toward him. “You’re an ass, so I’m not really sorry about this.”
As Jessica spoke, she reached out and placed her hands on his throat and cheek, discharging half her microbe’s energy capacity into him.
Norm jerked and went rigid as the power coursed through him and shorted out his armor’s motor controls.
When she deemed him sufficiently incapacitated, Jessica braced herself against the crate—which was well and truly stuck on a ridge on the ramp—and pushed with all her might, toppling Norm over and sending him sliding down the ramp.
“The fuck!” Macy called out and raced toward the Sexy.
“Buh-bye!” Jessica hollered as she ran to the top of the ramp and hit the ramp control. “Go! Cheeky Go!”
“Engines online, boosting in five, four, three—Jess, the ramp’s not closed!” Cheeky called back as the Sexy lurched forward, speeding toward Bay N21’s opening.
Jessica turned and found the problem; Norm’s inert form stuck at the bottom of the ramp. His eyes were wide and staring as he struggled against his seized armor.
“Sorry-not-sorry about this, Norm…again,” Jessica said as she grabbed a support strut and swung forward, kicking him out of the ship. The ramp resumed closing and she barely got her right foot back in before it shut with a comforting snick.
Suddenly the ship lurched again, a
nd the deafening thunder of fusion drives lighting up in atmosphere filled the interior of the vessel, then the sound suddenly muted as the ship burst past the gravity shield and into space.
“Did you fire the burners in the bay?” Jessica called out as she clambered up the ramp.
“I had to. They were—still are—turning their turrets on us!”
Jessica reached the cockpit and fell into her seat, fastening the safety harness as she pulled up a view of Bay N21.
“Holeee shit!” Jessica said as she looked at the shrinking view of the bay’s melted deck. “How much thrust did you use?”
“That was just the warmup burn,” Cheeky said. “The smallest I could do.”
“Well, I bet we won’t be hearing from Jenn or Macy ever again,” Jessica chuckled.
“I hope we got that grey bastard, Derrick, too,” Cheeky said as she dove under an inbound freighter. “You’d think he’d never seen boobs before.”
“So, where to?” Jessica asked as she pulled up Scan, looking for signs of pursuit.
“Well, Sabrina was out at Heshron; let’s boot on over there and get the heck out of this system,” Cheeky replied as she pulled into a clear outbound lane. “Wow, you should hear the things they’re saying at Olvives…they’re piiiiised.”
Jessica laughed. “Serves them right for letting assholes like Derrick run his shady…whatever it is he’s into…off their rock.”
“So, send one saying we’re not,” Jessica replied as she shifted power to the ship’s rear shield umbrellas, frustrated that they hadn’t thought to install stasis shields on the Sexy.
Live and learn, she thought.
“I have a better plan,” Cheeky said as she flipped the forward holo to show a Kidron patrol cruiser approaching. “We’re not going to get across the Kidron system with that thing on our tail.”