by M. D. Cooper
“Is it wrong that I find that double entendre hilarious?” Cheeky asked as she turned the Sexy back toward the asteroid and pushed the engines to their maximum safe burn.
“Yes! Pay attention to what you’re doing!” Jessica said. “Wait…what are you doing?”
“I’m not just a pretty face,” Cheeky said, her brow lowered in concentration. “I hooked up with another pilot last night, got some of the insystem DL maps the smugglers use. There’s a clear space in the dark layer that starts right on top of Olvives.”
“Damnit!” Jessica said. “Cheeky, where can we go on that vector in the DL, then?”
“Umm…looks like Serenity.”
“Sorry, I didn’t plan to get kidnapped today, or I would have made sure the bay chief fueled us sooner!” Cheeky retorted. “At least Sabs will know where to find us.
Ahead, the Olvives asteroid rushed toward them, and Jessica closed her eyes. “Do it, Cheeks.”
ADRIFT IN THE DARK
STELLAR DATE: 10.14.8938 (Adjusted Years)
LOCATION: Dark Layer, Kidron System
REGION: Orion Freedom Alliance, Perseus Arm
Cheeky blew out a long breath. “We’re in.”
“And not smushed, either,” Jessica said as she fell back in her seat. “I’m going to count this as a win.”
“Jessica, why does this shit keep happening to us?” Cheeky asked. “It’s starting to get stressful!”
“Starting? I thought it started to get stressful back in Virginis, at the very least.”
“Nah, that was just a dockside shootout. That’s just another Tuesday…”
Cheeky undid her harness and stretched. “That just serves to make my point. No one’s life is like this.”
“Talk to the crew of the Intrepid,” Jessica said. “Ending up in the Perseus Arm dealing with Macy and Jenn is nothing compared to going through Kapteyn’s Streamer and jumping five thousand years into the future.”
“Maybe we should all just go through that thing again. Come out another five thousand years in the future and see if people have figured out how not to be such shitheads.”
“That mineral pool was really nice!” Cheeky stamped her foot on the deck for emphasis and then flushed with embarrassment over her behavior. “Sorry…but…you know? I think I’m entitled to a little hissy fit every now and then. I’m gonna take all those fucking railguns and stick ‘em on one of the bunks and have a long, hot shower.”
“I’ll give you a hand,” Jessica said as she undid her harness and rose. “Then, I’m gonna pop open that blue-labeled crate and see what’s up in there.”
“You sure that’s wise?” Cheeky said as she walked down the short corridor to the san unit. “Could be all manner of nasty in there. We should just lower the ramp and kick it into the dark layer.”
“I’ll suit up and open it very carefully with the atmo shield in place at the top of the ramp. If it’s nasty, then the void can have it.”
“Your funeral,” Cheeky said as she edged into the san unit, reached into the shower and pulled out the first railgun.
Jessica took the gun and placed it in the corridor. “Derrick sure was moving some nice hardware. This is military grade weaponry. Too bad none of the crates had ammunition in them.”
“Little did they know,” Cheeky said with a grunt as she handed another railgun to Jessica, “that Jess doesn’t need no stinkin’ gun to take someone down.”
Jessica chuckled. “Yeah, my death-touch is handy—no pun intended—though I have noticed some side effects.”
“Oh yeah?” Cheeky said, passing another rifle. “Like what?”
“Well, basically my skin is filled with microbes that crave a broad range of the EM spectrum, right?”
“Yeah, we covered this in Nance and Finaeus Alien Lifeforms class.”
Jessica smiled. “Funny, Cheeks. Anyway, like any plant, if they don’t get light, they start to die.”
“Because you’re soooo busy,” Jessica said.
“Uhhh…pardon?” Cheeky asked. “Any part?”
Jessica grinned at Cheeky. “And here I thought you were an exhibitionist.”
Cheeky flushed a bright red. “Piya, Iris, there have to be boundaries. You can’t do this!”
The silvery sound of the two AIs laughing entered their minds and Cheeky fixed Jessica with a level stare. “Now I know we’re really in trouble. Our AIs are developing senses of humor.”
“How long till Serenity?” Jessica asked.
* * * * *
Several hours later, after both Cheeky and Jessica had showered, Jessica stood on the ramp in her trusty purple shipsuit with an EV helmet attached. At the top of the ramp, Cheeky stood behind a grav shield, hand hovering over the emergency release for the ramp.
Cheeky shrugged nonchalantly.
She saw Cheeky visibly shiver at the top of the ramp.
At first, she wasn’t certain what she was looking at. Ammunition had been high on her list of possibilities as well, but what she was looking at was most certainly not ammunition.
Jessica pulled off her helmet while continuing to gaze down into the cargo pod. “Come see for yourself.”
Jessica reached into the container and turned over one of the items inside as Cheeky approached.
“Is that a sex bot?”
“Really, Cheeky, do you think they’d smuggle sex bots?
Cheeky shrugged as she reached into the crate and touched the gleaming silver torso. “How would I know? They’re not big on AI in Orion space. Maybe they figured people shouldn’t be able get advanced companionship either.”
“I think it’s a warrior of some sort,” Jessica said. “They’ve shipped all these weapons; if all the blue crates were automatons like this one—and if they were AI-controlled—they’d be formidable.”
“There were twenty blue crates, right?” Cheeky asked.
“Yup, practically a platoon of ultra-badass robot warriors.”
Cheeky touched the torso once more. “Then why’d they make it look so sexy? And have breasts?”
“Maybe it’s used for infiltration ops,” Jessica said. “Let’s assemble it and see.”
“Really? Your plan is to put the death-bot together and ‘see’?” Cheeky asked.
Jessica shrugged. “I know I won’t make it the seven days to Serenity just wondering what this thing is for. It’s gonna happen sooner or later.”
It only took ten minutes to put the automaton together, and once they were done, both women stepped back to admire their handiwork.
“Tech like this doesn’t fit with Orion. They seem like they’re stuck in the thirtieth century,” Cheeky said.
“Thirtieth century is when sentient AI were created. They were made with the purpose of fighting wars more effectively than humans or NSAIs. So, this could very well be thirtieth century tech,” Jessica said with a glance toward Cheeky. “What do they teach you in school where you grew up anyway?”
Cheeky rolled her eyes. “You know…stuff happened after the forty-fourth century too. There’s a lot to learn, I’m still pretty young.”
Jessica chuckled “OK, I’ll grant you that.”
She turned her attention back to the automaton, which was, as Cheeky had first noticed, essentially female. Once its limbs had been attached, the joints molded together and created a fluid skin. Though the breasts and lack of a male appendage between the legs marked the machine as female in appearance, it did not possess specific genitalia.
“So how do we turn it on?” Cheeky asked.
“I didn’t see a manual in there,” Jessica said. “Has it Linked? Perhaps it can provide us with its startup sequence.”
Cheeky reached out and touched the automaton’s lips with her finger. “They feel really supple, not cold or hard like you’d expect.”
Cheeky continued to push at the robot’s lips, when suddenly its eyes opened. It focused on Cheeky, then Jessica, then back to Cheeky. A second later, its skin changed from silver to a pale pink, perfectly matching Cheeky’s color. Then it shrunk several centimeters and its body proportions matched Cheeky’s. Long, blonde hair grew out of its scalp, and settled around its shoulders.
“Well, that was unexpected,” Cheeky said.
“Well, that was unexpected,” the Cheeky doppelganger repeated.
“What is your function?” Jessica asked.
“Incorrect voice imprint. Imprinted person, please speak further,” the automaton said in a soft voice.
The response did not surprise Jessica, though she was annoyed that the bot wouldn’t accept commands until the voice imprinting was complete.
“What is your function, Cheeky-bot” Cheeky asked.
“I am an Autonomous Human Assimilation Personage. You may call me AHAP-145-A98-12,” the automaton replied in a voice that sounded closer to Cheeky’s, but still not quite right.
“Well, I certainly cannot call you that. It’ll take all day,” Cheeky said. “How’s about I call you…Addie.”
“Nickname accepted,” the automaton replied. “I am Addie.”
Jessica was surprised by how quickly the AHAP had matched Cheeky’s voice. “OK, now it’s creepy. If it wasn’t for the fact that it’s standing stock still, I’d think it’s you, Cheeky.”
“You’re telling me,” Cheeky said as she walked around the AHAP. “Thing looks exactly like me.”
“What are you used for, Addie?” Jessica asked.
“Please request permission from primary imprintee to address me,” Addie replied.
“Addie,” Cheeky said with a soft laugh. “Jessica here has full root-level permissions.”
“Understood,” Addie replied. “Jessica, my main purpose is to facilitate a perfect matching of a person through flawless imitation. I am also capable of accepting neural transference, although it is not reciprocal. With my ability to create a flawless representation of a human, I am well suited for infiltration, trysts, assassinations—”
“We get it,” Jessica said. “You’re an infiltrator chameleon. At least that’s what we used to call them back in Sol.”
“Neural transference,” Cheeky said with a shake of her head. “That’s a level of tech…well…that I’ve never personally encountered.”
“Well, yeah, I mean they had it but—”
“So, there’s a backup of me out there somewhere?” Cheeky asked.
“I bet these things go for a lot out here,” Jessica said. “Addie, I assume you’re capable of remote pilot?”
“Yes, including full immersion remote control,” Addie replied
“It’s going to be pretty interesting to see what these folks at Serenity are like,” Cheeky said. “Ordering twenty of these AHAPs is probably not cheap.”
“We should really try to figure out who is expecting these,” Jessica said. “We’re going to need repairs and fuel when we get to Serenity. Whoever expects this stuff won’t pay us a cent for it, but I bet whoever they planned to infiltrate or assassinate will be very interested.”
“Addie,” Cheeky addressed the AHAP. “Do you know who your buyer is?”
“No, it is why I imprinted on you.”
“Well, why don’t you make yourself useful. Go look over the cargo pod you came in, and all these weapons and try to get a clue.”
“Total black-market scenario,” Jessica said. “Get them set up to imprint on the first person. No documentation, no support, just assemble, massage its lips, and go.”
Iris said.
Jessica nodded. “Yeah, but that takes all the fun out of needling Cheeky.”
“Addie,” Cheeky addressed the AHAP. “Can you change your hair color to red? It’s a bit weird seeing myself.”
Jessica glanced at Cheeky, then back at Addie, who was now rifling through the cargo pod she came in, looking for evidence of her intended buyer. “Or put on a big fuzzy sweater, then no one would confuse you with Cheeky.”
“We could pump waste heat into an expendable material and dump it,” Cheeky suggested.
Jessica chuckled. “You two don’t even need us, do you?”
“It’s a skill,” Cheeky replied with a grin.
“So, exactly how hot is it going to get in here?” Jessica asked.
RESCUED…SORT OF
STELLAR DATE: 10.21.8938 (Adjusted Years)
LOCATION: Edge of the Serenity System
REGION: Serenity Ordus, Orion Freedom Alliance, Perseus Arm
When the SS Sexy—renamed to the Beauty now that they were wanted in the Kidron System—
finally dumped out of the dark layer, Cheeky was sweating buckets, and Jessica was growing warm enough to consider a shower with the ship’s tepid water reserves.
“Cooling vanes deployed,” Cheeky announced, once normal space had materialized around them. “I’ve never been quite so happy for cold, hard vacuum.”
Jessica nodded absently as she looked at the initial optical scan of the Serenity System. “This is weird. I’ve seen a lot of weird stuff, but this is real weird…”
“Weirder than a ring of black holes tearing apart a white dwarf remnant?” Cheeky asked.
“Huh…good question. Thing is, mining a dwarf star makes perfect sense. Here…why did they do this?”
Cheeky gestured at the holodisplay of the Serenity system. “Well, their star is young, a little unruly. Maybe they planted all those worlds inside that jovian’s van allen belts to protect them.”
Jessica shrugged. “I suppose. Seems like a lot of work.”
“So, which one do we go to?”
That was the thousand-credit-question.
Star systems were supposed to have lots of planets, asteroids, stuff. If a system was inhabited, there should be stations and habs everywhere—both drifting freely, and attached to every rock orbiting the star.
Here there was none of that. Not just a lack of stations and habitats, but no worlds—save the five terrestrial moons orbiting a single, massive jovian planet.
Everything else in the system was gone. Or had never been there to begin with.
Iris said.
Iris gave the words ‘moons’ added emphasis. It was obvious that the five worlds in orbit of the jovian—which now had a label of Serenity Primus hovering over it—were far larger than a typical moon.
“You think they hauled all their other worlds to Serenity Primus and dropped them into a klemperer rosette?” Jessica asked.
“I bet they made at least one of the worlds too,” Cheeky added. “I can’t imagine five equally massed planets of that size existing in one system.”